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2012年8月31日 星期五

Why You Should Not Commit To Someone In The First 3-6 Months Of A Relationship


I understand how exciting it is to have finally found someone but before you get too involved make sure you've asked enough questions, aren't giving in to sexual chemistry alone, acting on the promise of material gain, making premature compromises, putting commitment before true love and happiness, and ignoring the warning signs of potential problems, hurt and a broken heart.

You can know certain things about a person within a few days or weeks of meeting him or her, but there are other things that take time to know about a person in order for you to decide whether to continue or stop seeing the person.

Realistically it is not advisable to commit to someone in the first 3-6 months of a relationship when you are likely running on Oxytocin, which is a chemical found in chocolate. Oxytocin creates the sense of well-being and euphoria that comes with "falling in love." This might as well be dubbed the period of temporary insanity, because you are not in command of all your faculties; your brain is hijacked by those lovely chemicals, interfering with your ability to think clearly.

Here are some guidelines to help you at each stage of your relationship. Do not feel frustrated if say you are at stage two of your relationship but still haven't found out things that you should have at stage one. Just make sure that you try to find out those things before you move to the next stage. Also all relationships move at different paces, the stages are guidelines to move you through to where you want your relationship to go and not rules that must be strictly followed. The idea is to know when to quit and what needs attention for the relationship to move forward.

Stage One ( 0 - 3 months). Make sure you know enough about his or her:

- Family background

- Attitude towards life, about love, commitment, children (if you want to have some), personal growth, professional help etc.

- Spiritual beliefs and practices, ethics and morals

- Sexual attitudes and preferences

- Career goals, financial background and habits

- Past love relationships, sexual history (including sexually transmitted diseases), break up patterns or lessons learned - Health habits food, exercise, grooming, cleanliness - personal and surroundings etc - Fears, phobias, addictions and any mental health problems, etc. - Interests, hobbies, dislikes etc

Stage Two (3 - 12 months). At this stage you should be sure whether you are emotionally invested in this relationship or not. If you are not or feel that the other person is not, this is the time to get out. Be honest about how the relationship makes you feel.

- Do you feel the person is emotionally mature? - Do you feel he or she hasn't recovered from past relationships? - Does he or she seem to have serious issues from his or her childhood that may or are affecting the relationship (needy, dependent, controlling, manipulative, abusive etc)?

- Is he or she emotionally (and physically) available - do you spend enough quality time together?

- Do you care more about the person than he or she does about you?

- Does he or she care more about you than you do about him or her?

- Are you more in love with the person's potential than the real person?

- Are you infatuated with him or her for external reasons (looks, family background, social status, material possessions etc) more than you really care about the person?

- Are you spiritually and sexually compatible? Does the person remind you a lot about a previous partner (in an uncomfortable way?)

- Do you exaggerate the persons qualities or lie to friends, family or co-workers about how you truly feel and about the relationship? - Does the person support you in your goals, ambitions, interests etc and are they proud of you and show it?

- Is the person faithful, devoted and affectionate towards you?

- DO YOU FEEL LOVED UNCONDITIONALLY?

Stage Three (Over 12 months). At this stage you should be in love. You know you love him or her and he or she loves you. You get along well and you've introduced him or her to friends, family and colleagues.

Make sure that you've discussed all the possible time bombs and have agreed on how to handle issues related to this when they come up (and if there are any)

- Significant age difference

- Differences in spiritual or religious beliefs

- Differences in social, racial, ethnic or educational background

- Children from previous marriage or relationships, in-laws and other extended family Ex-spouse (s), girlfriends, boyfriends etc.

- Holidays, gifts, anniversaries and other special occasions

The critical success factor in determining your relationship's success however, lies in knowing what you want, relying on proper communication and knowing how to compromise when you know you have found that special someone.




Christine Akiteng is an internationally renowned Sexual Confidence/Dating Coach and author of e-Books: The Art Of Seducing Out Of Fullness, Breaking A Bad Relationships Pattern, and Playing Hard-To-Get The Love Way.

http://www.torontosnumber1datedoctor.com

http://www.theartofseducingoutoffullness.com

http://www.playinghardtogettheloveway.com




Healthy Relationships Rekindled


How about a weekend get away to rekindle your marriage relationship with vigor and health? That is what we did last weekend!

Going back a few years my husband came up with a great idea, "A weekend away from home at home."

At the time he worked away from home during the week. All 3 of our children were adults and had families of their own so it was just the two of us. I was self-employed and worked from home part of the time. When my husband got home for the weekend (sometimes he was able to work a 4 day work week) he was ready to stay home. I sometimes had the urge to go somewhere and do something different.

It was complicated to go somewhere for the weekend because it meant my husband had to get ready to leave home immediately after being gone all week. And when we would return on Sunday afternoon from a weekend outing, he would again immediately have to leave to go back to work. Also we had animals that required making arrangements for someone to stop by and take care of each day. Plus, it cost a lot of money to go somewhere, get a hotel room, eat out, and do whatever activity we might chose to do.

A weekend away from home at home gave us both a break and we could look forward to a relaxing weekend. It only required a little preparation and planning to make it successful.

Preparation included making sure the house was tidy and clean. We planned simple healthy meals with grocery shopping completed ahead of time.

We set our own rules for the weekend. The rules varied according to the current situation but we always kept in mind that we were not to do anything we could not do if we were really away from home.

Of course, we have to feed and water the animals but that only takes a few minutes each day. We work together to clean up any mess left from cooking our simple healthy meals. It is not fun to have a dirty kitchen at the end of the relaxing weekend.

A weekend away from home at home gives us the opportunity to talk and discuss personal (and sometimes business) goals. It is a time to reflect and plan. Over the years we have done things like read short books together or watch a movie. Typically we do not watch TV or spend time on the computer unless we want to look something up that adds to our discussions.

Some simple physical activity is important such as a nice walk or hike. We live in the mountains so a hike or a bike ride is always fun. Just spending time together with no distractions makes the weekend special.

Occasionally, one evening we will go out for a date to a nice restaurant and pretend we are dating again (after 50 plus years).

We may entertain ourselves with our own karaoke (my piano playing) since we both enjoy singing. Now this is an exception we allow ourselves on this weekend away at home because I use the piano at home as we sing ole' time favorites.

Last weekend was the first weekend away at home we had done in quite a long time. Somehow with taking care on 2 houses (one in CA and one in NM), overseeing my mother-in-law's care in a nursing home, my mother living with us for several months a year, and various other things; we had forgotten to take this time for ourselves. This last weekend has rekindled our desire to get back into planning a vacation or weekend away from home at home several times a year.

When was the last time you really planned a weekend get-away retreat with your spouse?




My blogs usually focus on health and nutrition but how can you be healthy if your relationships are not healthy? And how can your relationships be healthy if you do not put time and energy into making them the best they can be? I would love to hear about special times you have had with your loved one or ones. Tell me about it in the comment section below.

My hope for you is a rekindled relationship!

Pat Moon is a health and nutrition coach. She gives her readers helpful information on how to stay healthy with proper nutrition. You are invited to visit her blog at http://www.bestrealhealth.com Her articles provide up to date, practical tips on how good nutrition reduces the risk of serious illness. Pat has worked in the health and nutrition industry for over 25 years. Your comments and questions are welcome and useful in writing future articles.

Thank you for visiting and commenting.




Periodontal (Gum) Disease and Its Relationship to Chronic Disease and Cancers


Periodontal (gum) disease is prevalent throughout the adult population in the United States and elsewhere. Untreated, it can lead to pain, swelling, abscesses and eventually tooth loss, and the loss of the supporting bone in the jaws.  More people above the age of 35 lose a tooth from gum disease than they do from cavities or decay. Periodontal disease is the number-one cause of tooth loss. According to the 1996 American Dental Association/Colgate survey, U.S. dentists say gum disease is a more pressing oral health concern than tooth decay by a 2-to-1 margin It is not curable, and should the jawbone deteriorate there is little that can be done to reverse it. It is however, very treatable, both surgically and non-surgically.

What is less known, is the relationship between periodontal disease and other more serious diseases. There have been several studies done to explore the relationship between gum disease and other, more serious diseases. A study done is Sweden, among young, urban adults, indicated an increased risk of premature death from cancer, circulatory or digestive diseases(1). Similarly, a study done in the United States by Michaud et.al.(2) shows an increase in cancer risk in a large population of male health professionals with periodontal disease and jawbone loss. These findings indicated a significant association between periodontal disease and blood, kidney and pancreatic cancer. A third study found that severe gum disease could hasten death in people with diabetes. Researchers at the National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases (NIDDK) found that people with diabetes with periodontal disease had increased death rates due to cardiovascular disease and renal (kidney) failure, which are two major complications of type 2 diabetes. The findings underscore the need for good oral hygiene in people with diabetes, who are particularly prone to gum disease.

The evidence that periodontal disease causes the cancer is unproven and is in dispute. What is not disputed however, is the fact that there is a significant correlation between incidences of gum disease and certain types of cancer.

Similarly, there is a relationship between periodontal disease and cardiovascular disease. Studies have shown that a certain enzyme C-reactive peptide is elevated in both cardiac disease and periodontal disease. Similarly, there is a direct relationship between periodontal disease and Type II (adult onset) diabetes. In fact, at a recent lecture given by the prestigious Joslin Clinic for Diabetes, and attended by this author, it was stated that if the gum disease is treated, the diabetes improves, and if one treats the diabetes, the gum disease improves.

So what does this mean for the average dental patient?

First, it is important that regular, six-month checkups be a part of one's health regimen. Second, if the dentist detects periodontal disease during a routine examination, it must not be ignored. It is imperative that treatment of this situation begins as soon as is possible. While periodontal disease cannot be cured completely and the damage already done cannot be reversed, the deterioration that can result from the disease can be slowed or halted. Last, it is critical that the dentist and the physician communicate with one another in order to establish a common strategy in the treatment of these seemingly related diseases.

Gum disease is very common in the United States among adults. It is no longer something to be just observed. It must be treated in order to help prevent the possibility of it leading to other, more serious conditions.

1. Soder B, Jin L,Klinge B, Soder P. Periodontitis and premature death: a 16 year longitudinal study in a Swedish urban population. J.Periodontal Res 2007; 42;361-66

2. Michaud DS, Liu Y, Meyer M, Giovannucci E, Josipura K. Periodontal disease, tooth loss and cancer risk in male health professionals: a prospective cohort study. Lancet Oncol 2008; 9; 550-58




David N Grayson DDS
Dr. David N Grayson is a cosmetic and general dentist practicing in Parsippany, Morris County, New Jersey. In addition to treating periodontal disease, he also improves smiles to help people feel better about themselves and their appearance. Using relaxation dentistry, he enables anxious or frightened patients get the dental care they need.
In addition, Dr. Grayson uses clinical hypnosis to help people lose weight, stop smoking, and deal with certain harmful habits such as thumb sucking and nail biting.
To find out more about Dr Grayson and his practice, please visit his website at:

http://www.graysondds.com




2012年8月30日 星期四

Avoiding the Toxic Relationship - 2 Steps to Success, Part 1


Most people have the desire for a happy, fulfilling relationship where both parties are mutually respectful, loving, and caring. When both partners have emotional balance and a level of commitment and effort, this result is certainly possible. However, there are instances in which one or both individuals brings personal issues into the relationship that cause hurt and destruction within the partnership. Whether it is addiction, abusive tendencies, unfaithfulness, or other damaging behaviors, the result can be a toxic situation for the other partner. Here are the first 2 of 4 steps for avoiding such a toxic relationship, whether you are just getting out of such a relationship, or seeking to avoid the potential for one in the future:

1.       Take care of yourself physically and send yourself the message that you are worthy of the effort and care. Your mental and physical well being are also tied together, so supporting the health of your body will help support a stable mental state. Eat health foods, focusing on unprocessed organic choices wherever possible. Take vitamins and supplements as needed - a naturopath can create a complete supplement plan for you based on your unique health needs. A fish oil and food based multivitamin supplement can benefit many people to start. Start a doctor approved exercise program, ideally centered around cardiovascular exercise. This type of workout encourages the release of endorphins, feel good compounds that elevate mood.    

2.      Surround yourself with people who are supportive, loving, and affirming. This is key because the actions and words of the toxic partner can be like programming, which causes you to assimilate and believe negative messages about yourself. Immersing yourself in more positive and affirming messages from your support system will help you deprogram the false beliefs about yourself and reality.




By the way, what is holding you back from making the best choices to achieve the life you deserve?

For a free copy of my ebook, "Strategies For Escaping Emotional Abuse", click here: http://www.stoptoxicrelationships.com/gifts-strategiesforescapingemotionalabuse.html

Shannon Cook is a personal coach and resource guide who has written a number of informative articles and ebooks on the topic of toxic relationships and "difficult" divorces, including the physical, emotional, practical and relationship components.




Occupational Health: Core Areas of Knowledge and Competence, Part 2


OHA's can contribute by helping managers to manage sickness absence more effectively. The nurse may be involved in helping to train line managers and supervisors in how to best use the OH service, in how to refer staff, what type of information will be required, what to expect from occupational health. By developing transparent referral procedures, ensuring that medical confidentiality is maintained and that the workers' rights are respected the OHA can do much to ensure that employees referred for assessment due to sickness absence are comfortable with the process.

OH nurses, with their close relationship with workers, knowledge of the working environment and trends in ill-health in the company are often in a good position to advise management on preventing sickness absence. In my experience referral to General Practitioners have a limited use for work related issues, and gain best results by as well as keeping the GP aware, referring to a specialist occupational physician.

Planned rehabilitation strategies, can help to ensure safe return to work for employees who have been absent from work due to ill-health or injury. The nurse is often the key person in the rehabilitation programme who will, with the manager and individual employee, complete a risk assessment, devise the rehabilitation programme, monitor progress and communicate with the individual, the OH physician and the line manager. Nurses have also become involved in introducing proactive rehabilitation strategies that aim to detect early changes in health before such conditions result in absence from work. Improving and sustaining working ability benefits many groups, the individual, the organization and society, as costly absence and other health care costs are avoided.

In many cases the OH nurse has to work within the organization as the clients advocate in order ensuring that managers appreciate fully the value of improving the health of the workforce. OH nurses have the skills necessary to undertake this work and may develop areas of special interest.

The occupational health nurse may develop pro-active strategies to help the workforce maintain or restore their work ability. New workers, older workers, women returning to work following pregnancy or workers who have been unemployed for a prolonged period of time may all benefit from health advice or a planned programme of work hardening exercises to help maintain or restore their work ability even before any health problems arise. Increasingly the problems faced by industry are of a psychosocial nature and these can be even more complex and costly to deal with. OH nurses, working at the company level, are in a good position to give advice to management on strategies that can be adopted to improve the psycho-social health and wellbeing of workers.

Health and safety

The OHA can have a role to play in developing health and safety strategies. Where large, or high risk, organizations have their own in-house health and safety specialists the OHA can work closely with these specialists to ensure that the nurses expertise in health, risk assessment, health surveillance and environmental health management is fully utilized into the health and safety strategy. Occupational health nurses are trained in health and safety legislation, risk management and the control of workplace health hazards and can therefore make a useful contribution to the overall management of health and safety at work, with particular emphasis on 'health' risk assessment.

Hazard identification

The nurse often has close contact with the workers and is aware of changes to the working environment. Because of the nurses expertise in the effects of work on health they are in a good position to be involved in hazard identification. Hazards may arise due to new processes or working practices or may arise out of informal changes to existing processes and working practices that the nurse can readily identify and assess the likely risk from. This activity requires and pre-supposed regular and frequent work place visits by the occupational health nurse to maintain an up to date knowledge and awareness of working processes and practices.

Risk assessment

Legislation in Europe is increasingly being driven by a risk management approach. OHA's are trained in risk assessment and risk management strategies and, depending upon their level of expertise and the level of complexity involved in the risk assessment, the nurse can undertake risk assessments or contribute towards the risk assessment working closely with other specialists.

Advice on control strategies

Having been involved in the hazard identification and risk assessment the occupational health nurse can, within the limits of their education and training, provide advice and information on appropriate control strategies, including health surveillance, risk communication, monitoring and on the evaluation of control strategies.

Research and the use of evidence based practice

Specialist OHA's utilize research findings from a wide range of disciplines, including nursing, toxicology, psychology, environmental health and public health in their daily practice. The principal requirement for an occupational health nurse in practice is that they have the skills to read and critically assess research findings from these different disciplines and to be able to incorporate the findings into evidence based approach to their practice. Research in nursing is already well established and there is a small, but growing, body of evidence being created by occupational health nursing researchers who investigate occupational health nursing practices. OHA's should ensure that they have access to and the skills necessary to base their practice on the best available evidence. At the company level occupational health nurses may be involved in producing management reports on for example sickness absence trends, accident statistics, assessment of health promotion needs and in evaluating the delivery of services, the effectiveness of occupational health interventions. Research skills and the ability to transfer knowledge and information from published research to practice is an important aspect of the role.

Ethics

OHA's, along with other health, environment and safety professionals in the workplace health team, are in a privileged position in society. They have access to personal and medical information relating to employees in the company that would not be available to any other group. Society has imposed, by law, additional responsibilities on clinical professionals to protect and safeguard the interest of patients. The ethical standards for each discipline are set and enforced by each of the professional bodies. Breaches of these codes of conduct can result in the professional being removed from the register and prevented for practicing. Nurses have a long and well-respected tradition in society of upholding the trust placed in them by patients. This level of trust in the occupational health nurse's professional integrity means that employees feel that they can be open, honest and share information with the nurse in the confidence that the information will not be used for other purposes. This allows the nurse to practice much more effectively than would ever be possible if that trust was not there. The protection of personal information enables a trusted relationship between employees and the nurse to be developed and facilitates optimum working relationships and partnership. The International Commission on Occupational Health (ICOH) has published useful guidance on ethics for occupational health professionals'. This guidance is summarized below "Occupational Health Practice must be performed according to the highest professional standards and ethical principles. Occupational health professionals must serve the health and social wellbeing of the workers, individually and collectively. They also contribute to environmental and community health the obligations of occupational health professionals include protecting the life and the health of the worker, respecting human dignity and promoting the highest ethical principles in occupational health policies and programs. Integrity in professional conduct, impartiality and the protection of confidentiality of health data and the privacy of workers are part of these obligations. Occupational health professionals are experts who must enjoy full professional independence in the execution of their functions. They must acquire and maintain the competence necessary for their duties and require conditions which allow them to carry out their tasks according to good practice and professional ethics."




Want to know how to implement Occupational Health in your business?
Want to know how to save time and money?
Want to do it from the comfort of your own desk?

Sign up today for our complimentary 7 day training programme delivered via email.

Simply go to http://www.pohc.co.uk now or grab your free copy of Occupational Health: How to add value to your business at http://www.complete-occupational-health-toolkit.com

Regards
Craig Page, Health & Safety Professional




2012年8月29日 星期三

Your Mental and Physical Health - 2 Tips on How to Cope With a Break Up


Very few events in life are as emotionally devastating as being rejected by a boyfriend/girlfriend. In order to deal with the pain, many of us turn to overeating. Abusing alcohol and other substances, unfortunately, is the choice for many others. However, there are other more positive, healthy, and ultimately empowering alternatives. Presented next are two tips for coping with a break up that will preserve our health, not increase our waistline, and keep our dignity intact.

1. The Body Connection

Okay, let's be perfectly honest, when dealing with being dumped or any other emotional upset, a large majority of us make a beeline into the arms of another lover - our fridge. Of course indulging in Ben & Jerry's finest may make us feel good at that current moment, but the ultimate price we pay is the extra pounds we add to our weight.

Short term payoff: immediate gratification.

Long term result: extra weight that makes us feel more self-conscious about our appearance.

That tends to lower our self-esteem as a whole and, subsequently, can led to various health problems. In my opinion, this is not the best way to get over a break up! Even though we are hurting, by maintaining or beginning an exercise program, we will see many short and long term benefits. Such as:


many health experts agree that regular exercise acts as a mood regulator.

regular physical activity is heart-healthy.

exercise serves to clear the mind, which helps in gaining new perspectives.

last, but not least, we look and feel better!

So as you can see, a regular exercise program has many obvious and subtle benefits. When we are look and feel great, it gives our self-confidence a much needed boost during a time when we need it most.

2. The Mind Connection

As I mentioned earlier, many find solace at the end of the bottle after the end of a relationship. As the majority of us are already aware, abusing alcohol (or any substance) has many detrimental consequences.These include but are not limited to:


developing an addiction to alcohol and/or drugs

becoming alienated from family and friends

behaving in irrational ways, which can further damage our relationships.

adversely affecting our physical health by the consumption of addictive and harmful substances.

alcohol and drugs can cloud our judgment, decreasing our ability to make sound decisions.


Reaching for the bottle may seem like the only way to deal with the pain, but please keep in mind that many of us have family and friends who want to help us through difficult times. Allow them to.

Even if confiding in family and friends is not an option, there are trained health professionals, as well as members of clergy, who are available to help. Remember, that even the most difficult times in our lives will pass.

In the meantime, chose ways of dealing with your pain that will provide real solace and hope.

Wishing you much success,

Terez Williamson.




Stop! Don't join the monastery/nunnery just yet! Terez Williamson is a 38 year old romantic whose mission is to bring people practical, empowering information that can be used to enrich their relationships and their lives. To access more information, click here: Magic of Making Up!




3 Secrets For a Healthy Relationship


For some people being in a relationship can be very challenging. Marriage is supposed to be full of romance, fun, security and safety. For some couples they have been blessed with having succeeded in actualizing this ideal. For many other couples, unfortunately, they have instead experienced conflict, anger, insecurity and loneliness. These couples are left bewildered, confused and disappointed, wondering what "marriage" is really all about.

There are three key factors that determine the quality of the marital relationship. They are; respect, personal emotional health and realistic expectations. When these "three keys" are working well the relationship can flourish.

1 - RESPECT

The concept that a husband and wife being equal partners is an essential factor in a successful relationship. The abstract concept of "equality" applied in action is the behaviour of respect. When a husband and wife behave respectfully with each other they become assistants, each enhancing and supporting the other.

The behaviour of respect is typically characterized by:

1) Gentleness of Speech- soft vocal tones void of criticism and anger.

2) Loyalty- my spouse as opposed to someone else, like my religion or country, is always right. This is commitment to loyalty is acted upon in speech and deed.

3) Democratic Decision Making- both husband and wife have equal power in decision making.

2 - PERSONAL EMOTIONAL HEALTH

The "act of marriage" does not mean a person has automatically all the necessary emotional resources to succeed. For example, growing-up in a home where as a child a person was not respected or even abused can leave deep psychological wounds that need healing as an adult. Parents that argued and disrespected each other did not provide the necessary role-modelling needed to learn what a healthy and respectful marital relationship is like. As a marriage counsellor, I have worked with many people that find it very difficult to be emotionally intimate with their partner because of the hurt they experienced as a child. When individuals come from childhood homes characterized by multiple separations between parents and severe ongoing conflict they often fear accepting the responsibility of making there own family. They may get part way, for example they marry, but they won't agree to have children. Or they have a child and for some inexplicable reason they become depressed or want to leave their partner. Some solutions to repairing these childhood deficiencies are:

1) Reading self help books.

2) Observe healthy families. Try to get invited to their homes and learn.

3) Participate in psychotherapy with a professionally trained therapist.

3 - REALISTIC EXPECTATIONS

Creating a family requires the successful transition from one developmental stage to another. Just like children learn in sequence to role-over, sit-up, crawl, stand and walk, etc. families go through clearly demarcated stages of growth. They are; courtship, marriage (commitment), living together, getting to know each other, producing a child, raising children, being together after the children have left and growing old together. Each of these stages requires realistic expectations. For example, while in the "raising children" stage expecting to have the same passion and excitement as during the "courtship" stage as very unrealistic and can lead to unfair criticism of one=s spouse and chronic disappointment. It is certainly reasonable to make increased intimacy and passion a goal at any stage of the relationship-but goals shouldn't be confused with demands or entitlement. Not knowing what to expect can make one vulnerable to letting feelings make the decisions. Feelings are useful information, but should not run someone's life. The mind should rule the heart. Some helpful ideas to help develop realistic goals are:

1) Read about different stages in family development.

2) Talk to friends and family members who have already been through it.

3) Consult with a professional Marriage and Family Therapist.

These three key factors; respect, personal emotional health and realistic expectations are all interrelated. They each impact on the other. For example, someone with unhealed childhood wounds may find it difficult to respect their partner.

By learning and working in all three of these dimensions, or one at a time, we can all eventually have a realistic chance of having the marriage and family we want and deserve. Healthy relationships are the greatest opportunity for personal happiness. Perhaps, in some situations it may not be realistic to expect marital bliss, but with sincere effort we can in most cases achieve friendship, companionship and even a little excitement when together.




Abe Kass, M.A., R.S.W., R.M.F.T., is a registered Social Worker, registered Marriage and Family Therapist, certified Clinical Hypnotherapist, and award-winning educator and writer. He has a busy family therapy practice working with individuals, couples, and their families in Toronto, Canada. Abe is a member of the Ontario College of Social Workers, the Ontario and American Associations for Marriage and Family Therapy, and the National Board for Certified Clinical Hypnotherapists.

For more information about Marriage visit: http://www.gosmartlife.com/products-page/maritalpartner-harmony/ or Visit http://www.GoSmartLife.com for more Self Help and Improvement Information.




Emotional Connection and Good Health - Why We Shouldn't Do It All Alone


"Self-sufficiency" and "independence" are qualities our culture promotes and even idealizes. Look to the movies for the attractiveness of "the strong silent type" of man. And the professionally successful, self-reliant woman achieves higher social status today than the warm, nurturing, relationship-oriented woman of decades past.

One could say that we have not only enculturated a love affair with self-reliance, but also gone to the extreme of promoting pathological self-reliance. While self- sufficiency and independence to a point are important benchmarks of adulthood, taken too far, these same traits are hazardous to our hearts.

Henry S. Lodge, MD, author of Younger Next Year, writes, "the science of the past decade has demonstrated that love, companionship and community are deeply women into our DNA. Emotional connection is a biological imperative, and we pay a high price for ignoring it. Isolation is what's unnatural--and deadly."

Lodge notes that men who have heart attacks who go home to empty houses and have "a high level of stress are four times more likely to die within the first few years." For those who are most isolated, the risk of premature death from any cause is up to five times higher.

And being connected impacts the small stuff as well as long-term health. More connected people are happier and healthier across the spectrum of life. Having a strong sense of social connection will reduce the number of colds you'll get, in addition to increasing the odds of surviving cancer. Many of us take daily vitamin tablets. We also have daily requirements for love, friendship and community!

We would all be healthier if our culture would teach emotional literacy skills--to know ones own heart, and to value the time investment required to build and sustain intimate relationships. Instead of trying to push away, shut off, ignore or medicate our emotions, we need to learn to understand and heed the messages they give.

Emotions get a bad rap in our culture, and this creates a dangerous form of emotional illiteracy. Our bodies and brains have a constant stream of sensations, thoughts and feelings, providing a sense of who we are, what we want and what we need. Trying to shut our emotions off is hazardous to our health. Learning to speak the language of our emotions and our bodies can help live a healthier and happier life.

This information really challenges the "I am a rock, I am an island," socialization process for men, which also has effected more and more women, as our society has promoted professional success and devalued investing time in nurturing relationships. I am afraid the pathological self-reliance idealized in our culture is rooted in the degree of heart trauma people live through and then ultimately, live with.

How do we promote connection in our daily lives?

1. Make time to cuddle up. My cats curl up with one another and sleep contently every day. The same can hardly be said for most people in our culture, including those who live with a partner.

2. Understand the biological imperative to be part of a group. It may be easier to do everything on your own, but you will go farther and last longer if you take the time to do things with friends, family and loved ones. Lodge says, "reconnecting with your community becomes a life-affirming, lifesaving and urgent priority."

3. Invest in and value your primary relationship. Men who are married live longer than men who are not. This may be credited to their wives' emotional connections. A woman's death cuts about five years off her husband's life expectancy. The fact that if a man dies, his wife's life expectancy drops for the first four years, but as she adjusts to her new life, her life expectancy increases. Men would benefit greatly from putting more effort into building an emotional infrastructure.

4. Reach out to others. So many of us are always waiting for the other person to make the first move. Don't wait. Initiate. Find a concert you want to attend, and invite a friend or loved one to join you. Have a group of people over for dinner. Talk to the person exercising next to you at the gym.

5. Turn off the tv, and tune in to your relationships. So many people rely on the constant chatter of the television set to keep them company as they decompress after a long day. While the news can be a constant companion, it's not the same as a real- time conversation--or silent moment--with a loved one or friend.

©2008 Linda Marks




Linda Marks, MSM has practiced body psychotherapy in Newton, MA for more than 23 years. She works with individuals, couples and groups, and leads workshops on "Healing the Traumatized Heart." Linda holds degres from Yale and MIT. You can reach her at http://www.healingheartpower.com

Linda's blog is http://www.heartspacecafe.com/blog




2012年8月28日 星期二

Attaining Holistic Health in Spite of the Busy Schedule


Are you physically fit? Do you have inner peace in you? Or are you even emotionally stable? If your answer to these three questions is yes, then probably your holistic health is of good status. But what exactly do we mean by holistic health?

Holistic health is the over all wellness of an individual. It covers the physical, emotional, psychological and as well as spiritual well-being of a person. In short, it is the totality of an individual's health and wellness.

Today, people tend to overlook a lot of things due to their fast-paced life. It seems like everything is now created to cope up with people's lifestyle. A very good example of which is the so-called fast food chains. They are so abundant nowadays that you can see them in almost every street or corner you pass by on.

The society had already been warned about the risks of eating foods from Mc Donald's, Kentucky Fried Chicken and the likes because of its harmful effects on the body which can lead to different kinds of diseases such as obesity, heart and kidney problems and so on. In spite of the warning, people still opt to eat such foods due to lack of time. Little do they know that they are putting their health and even life at stake.

Exercise is another thing that we need to consider. Most of us neglect its importance to our health and wellness. We're all preoccupied with our jobs and other commitments so we have no time to spare an hour or even 30-minutes for exercise. We rather choose to purchase those fast and effective slimming pills and tablets from the advertisements because it is effortless yet very effective. But are we being wise about our decision?

Slimming pill companies lure its consumers because of the promising effect on losing weight. It makes us lose 3 to 5 pounds per week but is it really healthy? According to dieticians, the maximum recommended weight loss, in a per week basis, is only 2 pounds. Losing too much pounds in a week alters the physiology of our body systems which can be detrimental to our health.

We lack quality time with our partners because of our hectic schedules. This is the reason why broken relationships like divorce and annulments are quite common in our society. As we all know, unsuccessful relationships can lead to emotional and sometimes psychological instability to an individual which can be manifested through despair and even depression.

Being busy does not mean that we have to put aside our health and wellness already. There are still some simple ways in which we can do in order for us to achieve a good holistic health. Here are some of them:

First, we can wake up at least 20 minutes earlier than the usual to prepare foods which will last till dinner time. There are a lot of easy to cook and to prepare foods which are very nutritious like sandwiches, salads and so on. By doing this, you will not be tempted to eat in fast-food chains anymore.

Second, there are still numerous exercises in which you can do while accomplishing your jobs and commitments at the same time. For starters, you can take the stairs instead of the elevators. You can also walk short-distance places instead of driving or taking a cab to get there. Remember that exercising not only makes us physically fit but it also contributes to the positive mental health of an individual which in turn makes us holistically healthy.

Five to ten minutes break every two hours or so wouldn't hurt for you to call your significant other and say "How are you doing?" and "I love you" in order to maintain a harmonious relationship with each other. You can also surprise your partner every now and then even if there is no occasion at all.

Living healthy is a continuous process. Focus, determination and self-control plays an important part in achieving holistic health. Every action has its own consequence so be smart in every decision making. You are the boss of your own body. Your good health and success all depends on you. There is no better day to start living a healthy life than today.

And truthfully, have you not been able to stick to your planned routines for exercise and healthier eating? Is it possible that before you can do these other things, you need a little help, more energy to do the other things you know are good for you? Are you punishing yourself because you can't do them--trying to whip yourself into your discipline?

There is one very simple thing you can do is to go to sleep early enough and get a proper night's rest. There is a lot of information about this. But one reason it is so important is because it's while you are sleeping that your body's adult stem cells can go to work in repairing your body. And recently, thanks to a new patented natural supplement, you can now get some extra help in supporting the release of your adult stem cells from your own bone marrow.

With both of these, you will have a head start, and will have some good support in being able to fulfill your other goals in terms of a healthy life-style.




Yvonne Garcia is the publisher and author of numerous websites and blogs, many on health. The topic of stem cells and stem cell nutrition is the latest. topic on her website Stem Cell Nutrition




Die Young As Late As Possible - Healthful Marriage Means Taking Care of Yourself


San Diego State University psychologist Linda C. Gallo, PhD, tracked the health and happiness of 493 women for 13 years. Using blood tests, Gallo found that women with the luck, skill, or emotional fortitude to have created highly satisfying marriages were simply in better health¹.

We've all heard the scientific evidence, confirmation of our assumptions, and out and out speculation about a connection between a happy marriage and good health.

Mortality rates, for example, are greatly affected by marital status. The mortality rate among single men under 34 is about 2½ times higher than that for young married men. Widowed and divorced men over 80 have a mortality rate one third higher than married men. Single, widowed and divorced older women all have higher mortality rates than their married peers.

One of the biggest factors in our food obsessed, overly sedentary culture is, of course obesity. The prevalence of obesity in America doubled from 15 percent in 1980 to 27 percent in 1999. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 30% of children and two-thirds of adult Americans are overweight, no thanks to poor diet and lack of exercise. Nearly 2 in 3 Americans is overweight, and more than 50% of those are considered obese. This doesn't just have an impact on the health care budget, even though obesity costs us nearly $117 Billion dollars per annum. It also costs us in one of the prevalent outcomes of overweight: divorce. Ask any married couple this question, "would you marry your spouse again if you knew they'd be overweight?". If they're honest they'll say no. Too much body mass causes all manner of health and other problems, not to mention it's just unattractive.

No news there. But let's turn that around for once; is the opposite equally true? Do people who take care of themselves find that their marriages are happier as a result? And is this a self-fulfilling prophecy? Does taking care of ourselves lead to better health, which leads to a happier, more satisfied mate? It would seem so intuitively. It could be that we have it exactly backward; it could be that people who find themselves in a satisfying marriage automatically watch their weight, don't smoke, drink in moderation, buckle up and in general take fewer chances with their physical well being. This could be an unconscious reaction to knowing someone loves us enough to expect nothing less.

Expectations in marriage mean a lot. In my own relationship, for example, it would be an impossibility that one of us would take up smoking. My mate would assume I'd gone 'round the bend; seeing her with a cigarette, I would assume the same. Neither of us drinks very much. We'd no more drive without buckling up than walk into traffic blindfolded. We exercise daily, either walking, biking in the neighborhood, or at a nearby public park. We have an almost daily drill where we compete with each other to do as many sit-ups as we can (she always wins). Our diet is healthier, and, counterintuitively, more satisfying than ever.

Recently, we acquired a copy of a cookbook/earth greening manifesto titled Food Matters: A Guide to Conscious Eating², which contains all manner of recipes, food and agricultural information, planetary impact data and health related observations about what we buy at the grocery, cook in our kitchens, and put in our mouths. Food Matters is now our only cookbook. Hint: we keep beans in the pantry at all times, and, yes, Beano®, too. We just feel it's important to stay slim, healthy, attractive and attentive for each other.

The current health care controversy may revolve around a hidden factor here, that those who initially care enough about their own health gravitate to others like themselves, and overall, impact the health care system less than those who abuse their bodies. Anecdotally, those people are likely involved in unsatisfying marital relationships.

Speaking of expectations, marital bliss doesn't necessarily mean sexual satisfaction, but the two are pretty closely aligned. Here are the stats: According to the American Urological Association, overweight men are more likely to suffer from erectile dysfunction than slimmer correspondents³. Considering how most men feel about sex and their partners, this is likely a reason to stay slim, or slim down after the middle age spread has begun. Research suggests that Americans do in fact gain about ten pounds per decade on average, and we're living longer, so do the math. Most divorces in America, too, have as a factor the loss of sexual attraction in men and women. The bottom line is that to enjoy sex longer, and to keep our mates happy regardless, we need to take better care of ourselves. Here are a few tips on how to do that.

Regular exercise: How many times have we heard that? Set a timer. Every thirty minutes leave the computer, get on the floor, and do as many sit-ups as you can without strain. In no time you'll be proud to say you can do 100 sit ups per day, and your tummy will thank you. Your mate will, too. Take a walk after work. Don't eat dinner till you've exercised at least fifteen minutes. Hold hands while walking; it will increase the enjoyment, and it embarrasses your kids, a good thing.

Eat less, and eat better. The story about beans? It's true; they're the best thing we can eat, full of nutrients, high in protein, low fat, low carb, satisfying, and good if fixed imaginatively, which isn't hard. (See notation #2). Also, why do we keep eating till every scrap and morsel is gone? Is that mom's admonition to clean our plates? The cure for this is ridiculously simple: when you're no longer hungry, stop. The grocery bill will decline, too.

Stop with the snacking & grazing. Research suggests that several smaller meals throughout the day is better for us than the standard three squares. A lot of our food habits, indeed a lot of our weight gain problem is pure habit: We're surrounded by food; we eat by time instead of hunger; we finish everything rather than 'waste' it, which is an interesting choice of words when you think about it. By eating after we're no longer hungry we're effectively 'wasting' food.

Don't nag your mate about their weight. Tough not to, but the habit of mentioning weight gain and unhealthy eating habits creates a spiral toward even more of the same. If weight gain is becoming an issue, look at other factors in the relationship first. Praise is always a slimming agent.

Finally, consider that your mate really does love you enough to want you to stick around a long time. Sure, you're their beneficiary, but that doesn't mean they want to cash in on you right away. Attributed to various sources, the following quote is appropriate. "The idea is to die young as late as possible." For good marital satisfaction, this means taking care of our health, and being considerate enough of our mates to do that for a lifetime.

¹©2009 Rodale press. Writer Deb Dellapena.

²©2009 Mark Bittman.

³© 2003-2009 Bio-Medicine.




(s):
Byron & Mariah Edgington are the creators of Caffection, LLC dba Caffection, a marriage enrichment website. Caffection.com offers happy couples a portal for daily quotes, weekly affirmations, a monthly e-newsletter, exclusive gift items, seasonal and remembrance items, several interactive pages and entry to a newly identified, exclusive club of married best friends.

Got Caffection? Go to http://www.caffection.com, and find out.




Frequently Asked Mental Health Questions


How Do I Improve My Self-Confidence in Life?

Self-confidence is about recognising your true nature of mind. This is where people develop their true self-confidence. When they learn to get beyond their ego. It starts with trying not to be overly concerned what other people think of you. Problems arise (in regards to self-confidence) when this occurs. A really good test is what you do when you get criticised in life. A lot of people will take the feedback personally and believe that it is a criticism of themselves. An antidote is to simply say "It's not me." For more information please read Section 3: Your True Mind. Instead of trying to get confidence from others, you'll be able to find it from within.

How Do I Have A Healthy and Functional Romantic Relationship?

The main problem that people have in romantic relationships is that they become overly attached to the other person. To the point that their happiness depends on their partner "liking" them. This is not a sustainable situation. Why? Romantic relationships by their very nature are impermanent and constantly changing. Why cling onto something that is not stable? If you can learn to reach the stage of non-attachment, where you are able to love and open yourself up to the other person, while remaining unattached to the outcome of the relationship. This is how the best relationships develop and maintain.

What Is The Fastest Why to Overcome My Anxiety and Depression?

The best way is through applying all of the principles in this article. Specifically, you need to understand that negative feelings are impermanent and will eventually pass and not to become attached to positive feelings returning. Reaching the stage of non-attachment in regards to these thoughts and emotions. "If they leave then great." "If they stay around then that is OK as well". Neither being attached nor averse to either outcome. Thirdly, you need to understand how your mind actually works. Specifically to realise that your thoughts and your emotions are not actually your true mind and will eventually pass. Finally, to view mental health in philosophical terms and try to use your experience to help others, through compassion.

Where Does My Anxiety and Depression Come From?

Generally speaking, any mental health problem that you have in life is due to overanalysis and over thinking. It is a failure to be more fully present in life and living too much in your head. This is especially the case when it comes to anxiety. Your normal strategy of thinking your way through problems is not going to work when it comes to mental health issues. You need to adapt. Try not to be as goal driven and learn to let go a little. Ultimately it comes back to the four main principles in this e-book and failing to live by them.

How Do I Stop Myself From Worrying Too Much?

You need to appreciate that worrying doesn't accomplish anything in life. There is no real point of doing it. You need to challenge the belief that worrying is useful. Impermanence is pretty powerful when it comes to worrying. Realising that everything is constantly changing is very stabalising. If you can do something about a problem that you have, then great. Ultimately the best way to overcome worry is through action. Think, do. Not think, think, think, think.

What Is The Secret To Happiness?

The secret to happiness is contained in this article. Getting out of your mind and into your life. What does this mean? Realising that you will die someday, so live life with some sense of purpose and urgency. Not being overly concerned what others think about you because in the long run it doesn't matter. And realising that what they are judging you on isn't actually who you are. And being compassionate and understanding towards others.

How Long Will This Process Take?

How long is a piece of string? Real change can happen in a matter of weeks. Significant change can happen in a matter of months. Life changing change can happen within a year. Ultimately, this process and principles contained in the article, will continue occurring for the rest of your life. We find its simplicity the major problem. Our minds like to think that the process should be more complicated. Remember simplicity does not mean simplistic! Change needs to occur at both the conscious and sub-conscious level.

Will I Need To Get Professional Help? Why?

Some of you reading this article may find that you will want to seek out professional help by consulting a Psychologist or a Psychiatrist. A lot of people choose to consult mental health professionals when life gets too much and they feel that they can't cope on their own. Others feel that a trained professional will speed up the process and provide extra motivation to help them to better understand their mind. While other people feel that they can manage the process on their own without any outside help. It's up to you as an individual.




Psychologist Brisbane

Counselling Brisbane




2012年8月27日 星期一

Ultimate Tips For Creating Unlimited Health, Happiness and Balanced Living - Nourish Relationships 2


In a previous article on this subject I discussed the "Jar of Life" analogy, and how important it is to add your "big rocks" to your jar first, while there's still plenty of room.

So, how do we make this "real" in your life?

1) Determine who and what are most important in your life. These are your "rocks". Who and what come in second? These are your "pebbles". And finally, who and what are your fillers? Alas, these are your "sand".

2) Next, make sure these "rocks" are a priority in your daily or weekly schedule. When I look at my calendar before a new week begins, I first pencil in the things like appointments and commitments I need to keep. The very next thing I do is to schedule time for my rocks. In my case, this is dedicated time for my own rituals, my husband, my children, my dad, my close friends, and my work: writing, speaking and educating. This is the "stuff" I'm most passionate about.

This is an incredibly valuable lesson I was taught many years ago, and it serves as a fantastic and challenging action step:

"Schedule your priorities as opposed to prioritizing your schedule."

Be proactive in creating the time in your life for the most important people, relationships and roles FIRST. Laundry, dishes, errands, email, bills, paperwork, etc. will always be on the list, but they shouldn't take the place of the 'biggies' in your life. I know, sometimes it's easier said than done.

I've taken this lesson to heart for the last several years - I nurture and 'feed' my top relationships and passions, with great focus and intention, on a regular basis. Some of my own personal examples of this are:

I start and end each day with God (as well as countless prayers throughout my day). I fill myself up with empowering and enriching rituals each morning. I carve out quality time for my marriage, even if it's just a few minutes on some days. Several times each week I schedule in "Kid Time" - time just for them... not time for multi-tasking! I call my dad every night to keep him company. I schedule time for reading motivational, inspirational and educational material everyday. I write daily to fulfill my passion for educating and empowering others. I exercise several times every week. These are the 'biggies' for me. You get the picture.

3) The next action step is a doozy...

Be fully present when you're nourishing these relationships.

Fully focus on the relationship or role you're currently nourishing and you'll see it flourish! Really, where else should we be but HERE and NOW?!

This is truly a surefire way to create a more fulfilling and joyful life full of rich relationships.

Until next time, Be Happy, Be Well and Smile!




Are you confused by the overwhelming, often contradictory health information these days? Concerned that your family may not be as healthy as they could be? So you feel stressed out and exhausted... and just too darn tired to make positive, healthy lifestyle changes? I'm here to help! My name is Dr. Colleen Trombley, also known as Dr. Mom Online. I have a knack for simplifying Health and helping busy women (and men, of course!) restore balance to their lives.

I've written a FREE special report called "The Busy Mom's Secret Formula for Becoming Vibrantly Healthy, Happy & Fit While Raising a Naturally Healthy Family... The Stress Free Approach To Overcoming The 4 Major Roadblocks That Sabotage Every Mom's Best Intentions!" The simple strategy and tips revealed in this report could be just what the doctor ordered... Dr. Mom Online, that is!

To request your free report, and to start creating the healthy and happy life you deserve, go to http://www.OptimalHealthReport.com




Is Snoring Affecting Your Relationships?


Snoring is a bigger issue in relationships than what many experts had originally thought. It is a real problem that at times can separate a couple within their own home and eventually break up a marriage or relationship without really knowing that snoring was the original underlying culprit. After a period of time when sleeping with a person who snores, there will be a mild to serious problem of sleep deprivation.

Sleep deprivation is happens as you tend to awaken several times throughout the night, and the end contributes to mistakes such as lack of concentration and irritability during your day. It tends to start subtle, but will very quickly result in emotional unease, physical mistakes and faltering in overall work performance, among several other daily problems. Irritability and exacerbated stress eventually leads into physical ill healthiness over prolonged time periods. In a relationship or marriage, arguments are bound to start more often than before the snoring began, and the couple may not even understand why they are having disagreements over issues that in the end.

In many cases, the overall effects of snoring can become worse for the person, who is woken up constantly than the person that is actually snores. Although the person who is snoring is awaken by the fact that the flow of oxygen supply stops, from reaching the brain, alerting the person by waking often The sleeping partner is easily be rattled by incomplete amount of sleep throughout the night, leading to sleep deprivation and ill health.

It is not a wonder that snoring causes marriage problems when you actually add up issues of each person's life literally being affected on a daily basis. People tend to push aside the daily issues without making the correct correlations between partner's snoring and their misery. The one who snores will also be having daily issues of being off key, and they also may not be thinking that their snoring is the direct culprit to blame. But with more studies than ever before being done on snoring and the true effects, there now is no doubt of the domino effect that is set to happen in most every snoring scenario.

Snoring is an issue to be taken very seriously for more reasons than originally believed. There is no longer a way for snoring to be taken as a joke with instances of it taking a toll on marriages and directly related physical health issues that quickly arise. Snoring has now been proven to be related to heart disease, strokes, high blood pressure and sexual dysfunction in males. It is also associated with various stages of depression and other emotional dysfunctions.

There will be a lack of intimacy between couples who do not try to resolve snoring problems. This is also to be found to be true for those sleeping in separate bedrooms due to the snoring and often results in low sexual relations as couples sleep in separate rooms. So take the snoring in your relationship very seriously for reasons apart from your own health and the happiness of your partner and marriage.




Renee Moller researches on snoring related issues and writes on best snoring remedies. Browse for more information on snoring treatment and get back your life.




Destructive Relationships - 3 Clear Signs the Relationship Should End


All relationships require work and a sincere desire to succeed. Generally, if both partners are healthy and balanced, and committed to bettering the relationship, the relationship can be a place of support and fulfillment. However, there are some situations and circumstances in which such a scenario is virtually impossible. If you insist upon staying in the relationship and persisting despite some of these conditions, you are likely to experience and painful, drawn out experience in disappointment, sadness and betrayal. Here are 3 clear signs that the relationship is destructive and may be better off ending:

1. There has been serial infidelity. An affair can ultimately strengthen a relationship, if the incident increases the communication and accountability between the partners. However, when there is a persistent pattern of unfaithfulness and broken trust, there is no foundation on which to build a safe, mutually satisfying union. Moreover, the health risks associated with continuing on in a non-monogamous relationship are very real and not worth your life and well being.

2. Your partner has untreated addiction issues. If your partner abuses drugs and/or alcohol and is not treating this problem, you will always take second place to the substance your partner craves. There are practical risks involved with associating with an addict as well. There are legal and financial pitfalls (DUI's, personal injury, even manslaughter or murder charges if someone is killed as a result of drinking or drugging). Your personal safety may even be at risk, for example if you get into a vehicle with your significant other when they have been using, and they have an accident.

3. There is any kind of abuse taking place in the relationship. If your partner is physically abusing you, contact a counselor or shelter that specializes in domestic violence issues. You will need proper guidance on how safely to exit the relationship. Keep in mind, physical violence typically escalates. Emotional and psychological abuse can also be very destructive and can also be difficult to properly identify. If you feel down, inferior, incompetent, or even crazy around your partner, that is definitely something to look at more closely. In any abusive situation, just know that staying means you will spend much of your time and energy trying to keep yourself safe and the relationship afloat.




Are you interested in addressing your life challenges from a holistic standpoint, assessing the physical, emotional, and relationship components?

For a free copy of my ebook, "Natural Methods To Fight Depression", click here: http://www.stoptoxicrelationships.com/gifts-naturalmethodstofightdepression.html

Shannon Cook is a personal growth and relationship expert who has written a number of informative articles and ebooks on the topic of toxic relationships and holistic personal growth, including physical, emotional and relationship health.




2012年8月26日 星期日

Selecting a Health and Safety Consultant


Many small businesses reach a point in their growth when the need for health and safety advice becomes important. The reasons vary - it may be the company reaches certain critical points that trigger legislative requirements, the owner/manager simply no longer has the time due to the general growth of the business or simply because as the company grows health and safety questions become more complex. Another factor that I've noticed in recent years is large companies requiring more in depth safety management systems from even the smallest supplier as part of an attempt to minimise their own liabilities as part of their contractor vetting programme.

Within the UK - companies with 5 employees need to start recording risk assessments and require health and safety policies but even without legislation most companies reach a point where they accept a need for professional safety advice. Now that point may simply be when they reach a point of needing safety documents or it may come a few years later as the company grows and safety needs become more complex than the management are immediately comfortable with.

As we travel around the globe we find different laws, different levels of professionalism and varying qualifications are linked to health and safety. For small companies attempting to locate their first health and safety consultant it can be an expensive mistake if the wrong Consultancy is employed. So how do you get the decision right first time?

Competence and Qualifications - Whilst exams and certificates aren't the only factor they tend to be a good starting point. In recent years "safety consultants" have grown like mould - unfortunately many are seriously lacking in any formal qualification and others have the paper but little real world experience. The term health and safety consultant is not "protected" in any of the industrial nations thus too many people with a new business card and website appear as experts - but all too often they have little by way of qualifications and/or experience. Every country has its own qualifications but do check and find out what those qualifications are. In the UK - IOSH is the largest professional body and there is a national register of safety consultants run in partnership with the government and HSE; www.oshcr.org. This requires the consultants to be fully qualified (the register has an equivalency scheme between the main safety institutes so regardless of where they became qualified you can rest assured they are qualified).

Experience: Alongside qualification it's another must have. Fresh faced 20 somethings fresh out of college with a degree in safety may have a bright future but with little experience their value as a consultant can be limited. Traditionally good consultants learnt their trade somewhere in a full time role - how to find the right compromise, how to make safety work in the real world - and received support from more experienced colleagues whilst they made their own mistakes.

Sector Knowledge - It's always helpful when the consultant can speak about your industry from the beginning - but equally a good consultant has seen a wide variety of workplaces over the years and can quickly apply the basic principles to any company. More important than immediate experience of your industry is whether they grasp the basic principles of your business quickly. To me whilst you always learn things in new business and sectors a lot of knowledge is transferable - machine guarding is common regardless of whats being processed.

Fear - the moment a consultant uses fear to sell walk away. Anyone who talks about jail, fines as the only justification for using them is struggling. Yes we all know the law is part of the reason you're looking for a safety professional but any body can quote law - a good safety advisor will lead you through a broader set of reasons that include law but not in isolation - people not getting hurt being the principle factor to start from.

Cost: Don't be misled by low day rates, cheap initial safety audits - it's not what you pay per hour that matters it's what you get for your money that matters. The old sales technique of getting your foot in the door with an offer and then upselling is just as common in safety as elsewhere.

Two Way Conversations - a good consultant will talk to you before starting or even quoting. I like to know what a client thinks they need, how they view where they're at and how much budget there is as typical starting points. Every client is different - every client has unique challenges and solutions. Whilst budgets need to be flexible; a good consultant will look to find a way to maximise your spend in terms of outputs and solutions for your business.

Like - it's a weird word for business - but "do I like or at least respect the consultant?" is key. If you understand what they say - they understand you and attempt to make any advice fit into your business then it's a good beginning. You need to work with them so make sure thats possible before making your selection.

Initial Documents - this is where you really can tell if you've made the right choice - it may not be ideal but if you're unhappy now then things will only get worse as time passes. Things to be wary of - if documents look like they've been cut and paste they probably have (safety reports and safety policies are the worst offenders); if you don't really understand the work because its written in legalese (or just endless warnings of jail and fines) then it's time to re consider because the chances are that it will end up destined to be unread; equally if there's no attempt to understand business pressures and needs then again it may be time to get a second opinion. A quick test I always use is to simply do a word search in Word or whatever software you use. Think of typical words that are key to your business and see if they exist (for example working for a car repair workshop - check words like vehicle repair, ramp, oil - dumb I know but when none show up bar the most general sense than its a generic policy).

If you find the right safety consultant they'll work with you to make your workplace safer and it should feel like everyone's got the same goals - get the right consultant and it can be a relationship that grows with your business. Nothing lasts forever and everything has its own lifespan - but long relations mean they remember the past, remember where you came from and best of all develop relationships with you and your staff - and relationships are key to most things at the end of the day.

But in summary ensure they are competent, will deliver and you feel you can develop a "relationship" with - or at the very least they can solve you immediate needs.




Chris Elliott is a Health and Safety Consultant based in London, UK. He provides advice to companies large and small within London but also works on a variety of International projects. He aims to provide sensible cost effective solutions for modern business. He can be contacted through his website - http://www.chris-elliott.co.uk or e mail chris.elliott@chris-elliott.co.uk




Health Insurance In An Unmarried Relationship


Thanks to the gay rights movement and the increase of both unmarried heterosexual and homosexual couples living together throughout Texas and the United States, the workplace trend toward domestic-partner benefits is improving the lives of many committed couples, regardless of sexual orientation or marital status.

As of March 1, 2006, only 49 percent of the Fortune 500, 78 percent of the Fortune 100 largest corporations, and a small percentage other, smaller businesses, organizations and educational and government entities offered health benefits to employees’ domestic partners, according to a recent study by the Human Rights Campaign Foundation.

And while it’s true that the number of companies involved is relatively small, there are some very large employers, such as the Big Three automakers, who have jumped on the bandwagon. The number of individuals affected also is limited, but the unmarried couple-count is on the rise and many unmarried households include children who could be important beneficiaries of domestic-partner health insurance.

If your employer or your partner’s employer offers domestic partner benefits, here are some things to consider before you sign up:

Follow the Rules

Most companies require that your significant other be 18 or older, not related to you by blood or married to someone else. You and your partner must live in the same permanent residence in an exclusive, emotionally committed, financially responsible relationship, similar to marriage. You may be required to show you share a lease or a mortgage, an insurance policy, utility bills, a joint checking account, etc.

The Taxing Situation

While the IRS allows the cost of health benefits for married spouses and dependents to be tax deductible, it hasn’t yet given the same rights to unmarried couples. So the amount of money that your employer pays for health insurance for an unmarried partner and any children will be included as taxable income on your W-2.

Insurers May Not Agree

While your company may be willing to pay for these benefits, not all health insurance companies whose plans are available to an employee may agree. Some insurers are concerned that domestic partner benefits will drive up costs. For example, it's possible that the less-expensive HMO may raise objections, while the more expensive Preferred Provider Organization (PPO) or the traditional indemnity plan may not. If you have questions about your plan, talk to your human resources department or call the insurer directly.

Share the power

If you're the partner holding the policy, it doesn’t necessarily mean you can make any health care decisions for your significant other if or when he/she is unable to make them. Married couples have much broader rights. A healthcare power of attorney can overcome what could be a big issue in an emergency. It has nothing to do with money. It simply allows the person you designate — in this case, your partner — to make medical decisions on your behalf if you are unable. It also can ensure that if you become ill, your partner will be able to visit while you're in the hospital. The document, which should be prepared by an attorney, can also specify the names of physicians and limit the use of life-extending procedures. But it doesn't have to be that complicated. Keep the completed document someplace, other than a safety deposit box, so it is accessible when you need it most.

It’s Over and You’re Moving On.

Most employer-sponsored group policies require that you inform the company immediately if your living situation changes. A recent federal court decision left open the possibility that COBRA could cover domestic partners. COBRA is the Consolidated Omnibus Budget Reconciliation Act – federal legislation that requires many businesses to keep former employees and their dependents on the group health plan for a limited period. COBRA regulations allow a divorcing spouse to keep the estranged spouse's insurance for up to 18 months. The federal court decision said this didn't specifically exclude domestic partners. But the likelihood an unmarried partner will be able to claim COBRA is slim. That means that the partner could be left without his or her own insurance with little or no notice.

With only 49 percent of Fortune 500 companies and an even smaller percentage of small businesses offering health benefits to employees’ domestic partners, this still leaves a large majority of unmarried couples with possibly one individual in the relationship uninsured. If you’re looking for high-quality individual health insurance at affordable rates, specifically created for young, healthy individuals, you should take a look at Precedent. Visit our website, [http://www.precedent.com], for more information. We offer a unique and innovative suite of individual health insurance solutions, including highly competitive HSA-qualified plans, and an unparalleled “real time” application and acceptance experience.




Precedent puts a new spin on health insurance. Learn more at http://www.precedent.com. [http://www.precedent.com]




2012年8月25日 星期六

Male Sexual Health Is As Important As a Man's Beating Heart


It is no secret that people who have frequent sex live longer, healthier, and happier lives. Couples who maintain their sexual health are the usual people whose relationships last for a long time. Looking after your own sexual health is important as it can be both emotionally and physically detrimental to your well being, as well as taxing on relationships and personal confidence.

Male Sexual Health

Good male sexual health is defined as ability to perform satisfactory sexual intercourse which is satisfying to both man and his partner and enhances their overall. The key to male sexual health is an abundance of healthy sperm. Male sexual health is incredibly important to the overall health of many men, and must be taken seriously (even when it feels somewhat embarrassing to talk about).

There are numerous occupations where male sexual health is at risk and you could be employed in one of them if your job involves any of the following, organic solvents, mercury, radiation (x-ray), radioactive substances, benzene, boron, heavy metals and toxic chemicals.

Men who won't go to the doctor about male sexual health issues let themselves suffer agonizing worry. Male sexual health is often placed at risk on account of a whole range of sexual disorders and among all the sexual problems suffered by men; erectile dysfunction is a prominent one.

Erectile Dysfunction

Impotence, or erectile dysfunction, is distressing and can occur for a number of reasons. It is both alarming and reassuring to understand that 52% of all men will suffer some degree of impotence during their lives. Impotence is a male sexual health issue that describes the inability to maintain an adequate erection for a long enough period of time to satisfy your and your partner's sexual needs. With more than 50 percent of men over the age of 35 suffering erectile dysfunction, the age of male sexual health is well and truly upon us.

Male Sexual Wellness

Male sexual wellness can be improved by exercise and healthy living and this means a diet that is natural. If you have a good all round diet, take moderate exercise and restrict recreational drugs the above supplements will help you not only increase libido but give you all round health benefits as well. It has been found that following a male sexual health exercise plan will greatly reduce the risk of prostate cancer, bladder problems and impotence well into old e well into old age.

Treatments

Substances that can cause erectile dysfunctiol, cigarettes, high blood pressure medication, anti-anxiety medication, antidepressants, cocaine, and major tranquillisers such as Melleril (Davidson & Neale, 1996). When erectile dysfunctions are smoking related, they cannot be completely cured with medications like Viagra.

Best treatment options combine sex psychology counselling, nutrient supplementation and medication in the short term, following risk assessment by a qualified medical professional. Your healthcare provider can talk with you about whether these prescription medications are a good option for you.

Exercises

There are certain exercises which help you regain incredibly hard erection by supplying fresh blood and energy around your genital area. However, just like any other exercise regime, a male sexual health exercise program needs to be done very day. Along with pumping iron and aerobic exercise, men are toning their pelvic muscles, often weakened from wear and tear coupled with lack of knowledge and the natural aging process.

Conclusion

Male sexual problems are often =caused by psychological factors such as when a man thinks that sex is sinful because of his religious beliefs, or when there's a lack of attraction for a partner and traumatic events from his past. Male sexual problems are often endured for years before the affected person seeks clinical help.

These days, however, common male sexual problems are openly discussed because man has learned that there are many solutions available and they can actually avail of them quite easily. Most male sexual problems are caused by natural conditions, so the best way to treat them is with a natural product.




Looking after your own sexual health is important as it can be both emotionally and physically draining as well as taxing on relationships and personal confidence. Male sexual wellness can be improved by exercise and healthy living and this means a diet that is natural. It has been found that following a male sexual health exercise plan will greatly reduce the risk of prostate cancer, bladder problems and impotence well into old age.

Paul Rodgers specializes in marketing natural health and beauty products.




It's All in the Relationship


What's important about a relationship? Everything! True success comes within the confines of authentic relationships. Anything less is superficial.

You buy and sell based on relationships. You hire and fire based on relationships. You agree or disagree based on relationships.

Relationships are necessary for every endeavor you attempt. Since you know the significance of a relationship, why do you (and me) mess them up so much of the time?

When was the last time you took an inventory of your relationships? Or do you just think your relationship "health" will maintain itself?

When you enter into a relationship, you expect it to last, right? Unfortunately, things change and so do people. In time, people's flaws start to show and you find yourself doing more relationship maintenance than you'd like. When do you pull the plug? Should you pull the plug? When do you clean house? What determines your next move?

At this point in time you should assess your relationship's value. A relationship is like a good pair of shoes: they're nice and shiny, clean and look pretty spiffy when they're new. Then they become very comfortable and feel great! After awhile they start to look a little scruffy, maybe a tear here and there and the sole needs repair.

How do you know if your relationship needs a little repair or if it should get a total overhaul or if it's doomed?

Relationship Check-Up

Here is a list of things to look at when assessing your relationship's value:

Check the Foundation

Trust is the foundation of every relationship. Business. Love. Customer. The key to trust is honesty. If you catch someone telling half-truths, not giving you the heads up, or letting you find out in front of others, your relationship may be beyond repair. And it should be. There is no glory in wasting time in a relationship with someone who treats you badly.

Look at the Face Value

Appearance, whether you like it or not, does matter. It's about your level of attraction, not only physically but emotionally and spiritually. This isn't only limited to love relationships but to business and commerce relationships as well. Do you buy something from a guy on the corner looking scruffy wearing a trench coat? Or will you call the guy at the end of the bar who obviously doesn't care about his hygiene? You may see this as being unkind but it's there in your subconscious.

Cross-Check and Verify

Look at the problems in these areas: communication, solution-finding, forgiveness, motivation and attitude. Does she/he pull their weight? Do you communicate well to get the work done with high marks? You see, the problem you will run into is that once you've been in a relationship for a while, it can be hard to evaluate your situation objectively. Make an honest list of pros and cons. Another exercise you can do is called the "photo album" exercise. Spend a few days writing down the stories, memories and recollections of the relationship. Include both good and bad. Then page through your memories, looking at how you felt during each recollection. This will remind you of what you've forgotten about over the last few years or months - good and not-so-good.

Talk to an Expert

If you aren't clear about what you are seeing or feeling talk to someone. Call your personal life coach or therapist or a trusted friend. Give them the lowdown on what's been happening in the relationship. Listen to their feedback knowing you have the option to dismiss it or consider what your "blindspots" are in the relationship. Be willing to admit when you've conceded to less than what you've deserved. On the other hand, be open to recognize when you haven't measured up to par.

These are a few approaches to use in coming to terms with your relationships, both personally and professionally. As life grows more complex so do your relationships. Begin now to recognize the worth of each relationship you are in, knowing you have the choice to make it better.




Karen Keller, Ph.D. is an expert in women's leadership and assertiveness training. She is also a successful entrepreneur and author. She specializes in the skills of influence and persuasion, executive coaching, mentoring, sales techniques, management development training, motivational speaking, personal life coaching, and corporate training. Discover Influence It! Real POWER for Women now! For your free subscription visit http://www.karen-keller.com.




Dealing With Relationship Anxiety


As far as I'm concerned there is nothing worse than relationship anxiety and finding methods for dealing with relationship anxiety is a very important part of steering clear of the giant iceberg your ship is headed for. The trick is to have both parties on board when a change of course is plotted.

But before trying to get your partner to board your vessel to tranquility first you need to ask yourself whether or not you have anxiety issues. If the answer is yes, then only after you take care of your own anxiety should you consider directing your partner to overcome their anxiety.

Okay, a little time has gone by, you have addressed your anxiety and now are ready to get your partner on board the ship of tranquility. Keep in mind that two people working together to solve anxiety is always better than one. While you may initially feel that you are extending a helping hand, it is not out of the realm of possibility that these tips for dealing with relationship anxiety may benefit you as well. Now let's get down to business.

*Find ways to simplify your joint lives: Generally the less complicated things are the less anxiety exists. Such ideas as hiring someone to come over once in a while to clean your house, or hiring a landscaper to mow the lawn once in a while could prove to be very helpful. There are endless possibilities, but the bottom line is finding ways to take away mundane, time consuming, stressful obligations will free up time for more enjoyable endeavors.

*Walk or hike together: My partner and I hike together two or three days a week. This has proven to be very helpful for relieving anxiety in our lives and seems to be a much better alternative than a conventional health club setting. When you are out walking or hiking your body is burning off excess adrenaline and producing feel good endorphins. There is also a good chance that you and your partner will be carrying on a conversation at the same time. Both exercise and conversation are well known for their ability to relieve stress and anxiety. If both you and your partner are physically able to try this approach it likely will be well worth your time.

A word of caution: Don't let unnecessary negative criticism ruin an enjoyable afternoon at the park.

*Consider a yoga or meditation class together: Yoga and meditation have been around for thousands of years and are still a viable solution for relieving tension. One valuable part of these two alternative therapies is their emphasis on abdominal breathing. Abdominal breathing has been shown to relax the body and mind by increased the amount of oxygen circulating in the blood while expelling tension producing carbon dioxide.

In summary, dealing with relationship anxiety can only be successful if both parties participate. It is difficult to help a person who doesn't want to be helped or fails to recognize they have a problem!

Additionally, many couples dealing with relationship anxiety have found that they need a little extra help and have found that help in the form of natural remedies for anxiety. These are safe and effective alternative treatments that support the health of the nervous system while maintaining emotional balance during everyday pressure, stress, and nervous tension.




R.D. Hawkins is an enthusiastic advocate of alternative natural health products and supplements with over 10 years experience. To learn more about natural remedies for better health visit http://www.purchaseremedies.com




2012年8月24日 星期五

Government Involvement in Health Care Reform USA


Because of this experience I am very leery to hand over health care to the government. Dr. Phil once said about relationships, to look at the past is a good indicator of what the future relationship would be. So lets look at the government involvement in health: Medicare.. would probably be in an OK shape if the Trust Fund had not been robbed so many times. My feeling is it is going down now. Medicaid.. not so good either.. Telemedicine, although the President and congress recognize the importance it could have on patients and the health outcome and have provided Grants. The issues regarding reimbursement remain basically the same.

Telemedicine.com describes Telemedicine as the ability to provide interactive healthcare utilizing modern technology and telecommunication. It allows patients to visit with physicians live over video for immediate care or capture video/still images and patient data, store it and send to specialists for diagnosis and follow-up treatment at some later time.

In 1997-1999 I was given the opportunity to be the telemedicine coordinator for the Good Samaritan Society for Northwestern North Dakota. We were on the forefront. The Good Samaritan Society recognized the need in rural areas to provide quality care for their residents of long term care and the difficulty for residents to ride several miles to see a specialist. They applied for a grant through the RUS (Rural Utility Service), which they received. They searched out and acquired the newest technology. Because of being a front runner we were given the opportunity and demonstrated a live telemedicine consult for the National Governor's Conference. We had the capabilities to go live or to store and forward similar to attachment on e-mails for the specialist to view at their convenience. An example of this would be following hip surgery, the capturing of several pictures of the incisional area and then provide a video of the patient working out with physical therapy, therefore allowing the specialist to see how they were doing and any recommendations they would have.

There were several hurdles to jump through to get this network to be viable. One large one was reimbursement. In order to get physicians onboard they needed to be paid. Senator Kent Conrad wrote a bill he presented to congress for Medicare to reimburse for telemedicine.. which passed. We were ecstatic! Then came the guidelines:

1. Only live conferences would be covered, not store and send.

2. There had to be physicians at both the remote site and the hub (specialist) site. Physicians are very busy with emergencies that come up. The chance of getting two physicians at different sites at the exact same time was challenging. How many patients when sent to specialist have their local physician come with?

3. And the clinker was this: The specialist would be reimbursed and he/she would then give a portion of their reimbursement to the local physician! How many specialists would jump on this bandwagon?

I contacted our Senators' office and this is what he said. "It is very difficult to change something once it becomes law." How the guidelines are written is not always the intent of the bill.

According to Telemedicine.com, real-time is the most common use in Telemedicine today. For it allows for live video for the providers and patient to all communicate together. Store and forward is used when both health providers are not available or not required at the same time.Reimbursement is varied specific to the state or country you are in. They have seen clinics and hospitals that are currently working under a Grant which may have allocated funds available to reimburse for the consultation in cases where the patient does not have insurance or their insurance does not cover the consultation.

Because of this experience I am very leery to hand over health care to the government. Dr. Phil once said about relationships; to look at the past is a good indicator of what the future relationship would be. So lets look at the government involvement in health: Medicare.. would probably be in an OK shape if the Trust Fund had not been robbed so many times. My feeling is it is going down now. Medicaid.. not so good either.. Telemedicine, although the President and congress recognize the importance it could have on patients and the health outcome and have provided Grants. The issues remain basically the same regarding reimbursement.

My fear is that by pushing a bill through so rapidly and then the guidelines written, is going to be a disaster! In closing a quote from Franklin Delano Roosevelt, "The only sure bulwark of continuing liberty is a government strong enough to protect the interests of the people, and a people strong enough and well enough informed to maintain its sovereign control over its government."

Copyright (c) 2009 Elda Titus




Elda Titus is the owner of Prairie Rose Country an on-line business selling high quality cupolas and weathervanes. There is nothing more charming then seeing a cheerful, whimsical weathervane whirling on the roof top of buildings. Weathervanes give buildings distinguishing architectural accent that reflect the personality of the owners. To check out these beautiful cupolas and weathervanes go to:=> http://prairierosecountry.com