Six Basic Fears That Change Relationships

So, in your dealings with others be aware that if you push a person into one of these six fears they will not act rationally.

It is also a degree of self-awareness to note that if you start acting with stress or nervous tension, or lose your sense of self-humour (can't laugh at yourself) or find yourself worried, sleepless or run down and needing a holiday, then the source of that exhaustion and unhappiness is one of these six fears:

The Fear of Poverty
The Fear of Old Age
The Fear of Criticism
The Fear of Loss of Love from Someone
The Fear of Ill Health
The Fear of Death

While any one of these six fears run our day, we cannot be authentic because happiness will be defined as the overcoming of a fear, even if that fear is subconscious.

It is argued that these fears are socialised into our memes and therefore are not always in our field of awareness. In other words we may often be acting from fear even when we'd argue that we are not.

Animals act from instinct. Most instinct is underpinned by fear. Animals act from fear nearly 100% of the time, even when they are being affectionate, fear is driving this.

Human fear is animal instinct and it is inherent within our everyday being when we are operating at our animal level of life. That level still exists in all humans as a protective mechanism.

When, for example, you hear a person say "I GOT TO" or "I HAVE TO" or "YOU'VE GOT TO" or "YOU HAVE TO" then you can recognise the animal level of human being, and the presence of a driving fear. (one of the six or all)

1. The Fear of Poverty

People fill their pockets with money because they don't trust. Our world has become simplistically identified with wealth as a barometer of a person's value.

Wealthy seems to imply successful and yet, wealth on the outside and inner-wealth seem to be recognised as separate conversations.

A person with wealth who has no inner wealth will fear the loss of wealth. A person in poverty who has inner wealth will have no fear of poverty because they will have trust.

If there is an inherent lack of trust in humans and God, a person will grasp for wealth in order to escape the fear of poverty but they will never rest. The fear cannot be expunged for more than a few weeks with increased wealth before the fear resurfaces and there is once again, not enough.

Trust in people, life and God can be easily eroded with the death of a parent, pain inflicted by a trusted family member or breach of faith from a trusted friend. All this, most significantly happens within the first three years of a person's life, but escalates to classical scenarios of abuse and deception later in life. If trust is sustained within the first three years of a person's life, it is unlikely to fade later in life, no matter what transpires.

Fear of poverty comes from lack of trust and this can also be passed genetically from mother, father to child in the first three years. Awareness of such emotional, energetic, DNA and electrical transfer is the topic of most good parenting guidance.

2. The Fear of Old Age

There are two roots to the fear of Old Age. One emanates from the fear of poverty and the other from the fear of helplessness, unable to protect oneself from the from the fears mentioned in Fear 3 and Fear 4.

3. The Fear of Criticism

The whole fashion industry evolved out of this fear. And now, social networking, where media can, if well filtered protect a person from this deepest of fears.

We can choose electronic friends, disguise ourselves in fashion, we can drive a car to make a statement but all the time, living in fear that someone will reject us.

This fear of criticism is highly emotional and causes huge choices in people's subconscious life. It means, we go and associate with others who we believe will not criticise us.

It is also the cause of relationship failure in more than 90% of cases. The fear of criticism sits beneath many marriage arrangements that are called love where an individual holds shame or guilt about themselves, their life, their actions or their family, they hope to find a place to hide and relax with that fear, and often choose relationships. But soon, in that relationship, their fears come near, and they begin to feel ashamed of themselves blaming their partner for the breakdown, not realising that they entered the relationship carrying a fear and will leave with the same fear.

4. The Fear of Loss of Love from Someone

For many men, relationships with women are their anti depressant. It can be seen from the number of men who become insane after relationships end that the relationship was causing more than love.

Jealousy, hate, murder, rape, violence, abuse, greed and so many more of the base emotional animal in humans come from the fear of loss of love from someone.

Many people define the sustaining of love as a singular loyalty. In childhood this can be seen when children get hurt when a "best friend" adopts another friend, and the first child feels competed against. Fear, love, and the loss of it from someone, seems to be triggered by so many strange social signals.

Sex with strangers is great example. Sex and love are separate topics but we bind them religiously in order to protect love. We fear, deeply that sex will lead to love, so, we bind people into monogamy.

Fear of loss of love from someone is not limited to relationships of an adult significant other. Parents, friends, work colleagues, and more are not mentioned as "valuable Love" sources but are. Hence, many of the upsets that come in such environments are driven, in the greatest part, by the fear of loss of love from someone.

5. The Fear of Ill Health

Fear of Ill health has its roots in similar places to the Fear of Old Age and the Fear of Poverty.

It seems obvious that health is natural, however, in our search to avoid it, we become vulnerable to so much of the marketing and sales hype of shonky teachers, products and process that we make ourselves ill.

Foods, fast foods are decorated to appear healthy. Herbs and medicines follow traditional healthy packaging displays and Television advertising, even for dish washing liquid, portrays this product under the banner of a healthy giving, fear alleviating product benefit.

The fear of ill health drives many people to illness.

6. The Fear of Death

Nobody knows what happens before we're born or after we die. Many guess, some sell ideas, others find passages in books to deal with their fear of death, but there is uncertainty about death and therefore an enormous fear of it.

The more animal nature a person experiences the deeper their fear. One such exhibition of human animal nature is in terrorism and fundamental religious teachings that exclude all argument in the name of RIGHTEOUSNESS. A resolution of fear in this case is a belief. Such beliefs are based on uncertainty, upheld in righteousness by adherence.

It is the source of the greatest human deception, religious beliefs that promise certainty of the afterlife and therefore one can argue that the FEAR of DEATH must be a great fear in all human kind.

If one person says, "I know what will happen to me after my death" you can know with certainty only one thing, and that is, this person has a huge innate fear of death to which they apply, a belief to overcome it. Be aware that if you scratch the surface of such a person's belief you will scratch their fear and, as in all animal nature, their behavior will be unpredictable, aggressive and protective.

Beyond Fear

Beyond fear as a driving force in life there is another world. This is not an escape from fear, because, fear and the six fears are there by necessity. What can change however, with relatively simple application, is the influence those fears have on our relationships, health, wealth, work and service to others.

Chris Walker < http://www.chriswalker.com.au > is a visionary business consultant and of the world's leading facilitators of Personal/Professional Development. Author, consultant and professional speaker, his considered a leader in the field of human potential and lifestyles for success. His VIP and Mastery Programs have been attended by thousands of individuals around the world seeking tools to live life and manage their careers to their fullest potential. http://www.chriswalker.com.au