Sexual Health - Most Important Tips For Intimacy and Aging

Sexual health is one of the most basic and important human needs that ought to be given attention and care especially in the later years of your life and relationship. The older generation is truly becoming more active and enjoys life in their ripe age as they do during their younger years and this includes enjoying their intimate and sexual relationships. It is common knowledge however that the more you age the more nature is taking its course including its effect on your sexual health and intimacy. Hence, how do you take care of your body and maintain your health in this in-depth aspect of your being?

Taking care of yourself

Your physical health is one of the most important aspects in your entire wellness and it greatly affects your sex life even and most especially in your senior years. There are inevitable physical changes that men and women undergo in lieu with their aging process. Such changes have significant effects and may interfere with sexual function. In order to combat some changes that tend to decrease your intimate activities, you definitely need a healthy diet and conscientious food intake. It must be coupled with a good exercise regimen that keeps your body finely tuned and energized.

Aside from the usual health buff ideas of avoiding alcohol and quitting smoking, you may also need some of the helpful sexual support supplements like Vimax, specially formulated to help you keep a healthy and active sex life both you and your partner will forever cherish. You can actually get more information about this product and other sexual support supplements that fit your preferences. This time more than ever is the perfect time for you to explore the wonderful moments you can intimately share with your partner. Aging is never a hindrance to a happy and more intimate sex life.

Openly Communicate with your Partner

Equally important to consider is your emotional attachment with your partner especially in terms of communicating with them on matters regarding your intimacy. It definitely adds to your bonding and in establishing a closer and more in-depth relationship. You can both share whatever issues that may be bothering you especially the changes you are both going through. Communicating openly with each other makes you both aware of the other's needs, concerns and interests when it comes to maintaining your sexual relationship. Discuss what your expectations are and what things to do in order to make your sexual activities more exciting and colorful. It definitely helps a lot if you try to work things out together especially on issues that directly affects your intimacy due to aging problems and the like.

Talk to medical professionals

You may find it quite embarrassing but consulting experts about sexual matters and the aging factors that affect it may help you in more ways than you think. This is quite important if there are healthcare issues such as medication that directly affects your capacity for sexual intimacy and the like.

Taking care of yourself both inside and out is essential for a happy and healthy sexual and intimate relationship. Make sure you address your physical health and your relationship with your partner if you want a quality intimate life.

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The Strong Relationship Between Nutrition And Your Dental Health

There is a very strong and direct relationship between nutrition and your dental health. The vitamins and minerals you consume have the ability to strengthen or weaken your teeth and gums. By consuming a well-balanced diet you can experience the benefits of better oral health. A well-balanced diet is one which is rich in fresh fruits, fresh vegetables, meats, dairy products and whole grains. By limiting the amount of processed and sugary foods you consume can also help the health of your teeth and gums.

If you are not getting the required amount of vitamins and minerals in your diet, this can have a very serious effect on your body's ability to fight off infections. Infections such as gingivitis, and periodontitis, a bacterial infection which destroys tissues and bones which support teeth, can be very detrimental to your overall dental well-being. A healthy immune system is required to fight infections and the immune system requires good nutrition be supplied to it in order to work properly.

Calcium is a major mineral which affects the health of your teeth. Calcium is used by the body to build strong teeth and to build strong bones, including the bone which holds your teeth in place. If your diet is lacking in calcium you are much more likely to suffer from tooth loss. An average American diet should include at least 1000 milligrams of calcium each day. You can easily consume enough calcium by eating dairy products and fresh fruits and vegetables.

Vitamin C also plays a very important role in the health of your body as well as your teeth and gums. Vitamin C helps to strengthen your body's immune system in addition to being a wonderful antioxidant. The average person should consume approximately 60 milligrams of Vitamin C each day. This is about as much as is found in a single orange. Without adequate Vitamin C in your body you will be much more likely to develop gingivitis. Gingivitis is a mild form of periodontal disease and causes gums to be painful as well as causing bad breath. To get enough Vitamin C in your diet you will need to eat fresh fruits and vegetables or drink their juices.

Drinking lots of water is good for your overall health and for your teeth and gums as well. Drinking water keeps your mouth moist and helps to ward off tooth decay and gum diseases by washing away food and neutralizing plaque. If you choose to drink juices or other drinks which contain sugar, you will want to brush your teeth after consuming them, or at least follow them with water. The acids in juice, as well as the sugars, can cause tooth decay if allowed to sit on teeth too long.

By eating foods high in fiber, such as fresh vegetables and fruits, you can increase the saliva flow in your mouth. This increased saliva will help to neutralize acids and clean teeth of any left behind food particles.

If you are diabetic, or pre-diabetic, it is vitally important to control your blood sugar levels through careful monitoring and medication if necessary. When blood sugar levels go unchecked it increases the risks of periodontal diseases which can lead to overall decreases in your health as periodontal diseases can lead to heart attacks, strokes and other systemic infections as well.

If you are pregnant you will want to watch your nutrition very closely because the nutrition of the mother directly affects the developing teeth of the unborn child. You need to insure you are getting enough calcium for your teeth and for the development of your unborn child's teeth too.

As you can see there is a strong relationship between nutrition and your dental health. By making sure your diet is rich in healthy foods and that you drink enough water each day, you can help to ensure your teeth and gums will be as healthy as possible.

Cavyl Stewart is the author of the FREE report, Discount Dental Plans: "How to Save At Least 50% On Your Dental Bill." Drop by http://www.savewithdentalplans.com for your copy today.

Relationship Addicts - Finding the Cure

Yes, there are many types of addicts in this world we have today. Not all addicts are addicted to some type of drug. If you have been in and out of relationships, if you suffer great emotional pain when a relationship ends, if you fell lost and incomplete when you are not in a relationship, then you may be a "relationship addict". This is not to be taken lightly, as it can greatly affect your emotional health, your self-esteem and the way in which you cope with all aspects of your personal life. Work, other family members, friends and yes, you, will all be affected negatively by this addiction.

The great majority of people, (woman more so than men), at some point in their life reach the point of craving a strong and loving relationship. When this craving gets out of control, this can be very detrimental. One must first look to the reasons of why this craving may be so strong. The next step is to identify the elements that show an addiction to relationships. Once this has been done, one can then effectively overcome this obstacle, if one truly desires to escape the emotional Hell of being addicted.

Woman are taught from a young age, that finding true love is the ultimate goal. Even with "woman's lib" in the equation, we are bombarded at a young age of timeless and enchanting love stories. Cinderella gets swept away from her lonely and poor life by a wonderful, handsome prince. Snow White is sent away from an unhappy existence and finds herself happy and content, only for her happiness to increase when the love of her life dramatically finds her and takes her off to live happily ever after. Belle, finds herself in love with the "Beast", and she has a wonderful romantic ending also. The list is endless. Television shows, love movies, romance novels and the media's attention to famous celebrities in love only add to our dream of finding "the one".

Reality is quite an extreme to the fantasy world of love. Reality shows us that love does not come easily. Most often one must enter and exit many relationships before finding the one wonderful connection. One must also entertain the thought that even once finding the person we believe that we will go through life together with, the overall divorce rate seems to rise every day, offering us absolutely no guarantees of a lifetime successful relationship.

When the craving for a relationship overtakes our life that is when one can be considered a "relationship addict". What are the signs? There are many, we will touch on the most common, keeping in mind that these will all have difference variances depending on the individual involved.

If you fall in love very quickly, this can point to a problem of craving a relationship to an extreme. It takes an extraordinary amount of time, patience and understanding to truly know another and reach the point of having strong and true love. If you find yourself falling in love very quickly, this can mean that you are not actually falling in love with another person, but you may be in love with the idea of being in love.

If you also fall out of love quickly, this can show that you have no tolerance to anything that you deem "less than perfect". One must realize that no relationship is perfect. If you leave someone at for a reason that is not substantiated whatsoever, you may be searching for a relationship ideal that does not exist. Caught in the fantasy of finding your "prince", a mere mortal man simply won't do.

If in your moments of being single, you find your life almost unbearable, this can also be a very severe sign that you are a relationship addict. If unable to function properly without a man in your life, one can seem to fall apart emotionally. Depending on a man to fix all of your problems, sweep you off your feet and love you forever is a wonderful thought, however it most probably is not going to happen in the fantasy way that you hope for. When the imminent breakups follow, you feel betrayed, lost and angry that you did not receive that love that you felt you deserved. What do you do? If you immediately go out and seek another lover, you are a relationship addict.

When you are single and searching, if you find that you have an extreme empty feeling inside yourself, this may be another sign. If is, of course, quite normal for a single person to feel lonely, to wish for a strong and healthy relationship and have a goal of finding a lover. However, if in the moments that there is no man in your life and you look to other means to fill the empty feeling that is also a clear sign of being a relationship addict. Overeating is a very common replacement to cure the lonely blues. One may also indulge in unhealthy habits, such as smoking more cigarettes than usual, using illegal drugs or going on shopping binges. Any activity that you do not display when in a relationship and it is detrimental to your health, finances or emotional wellbeing is a warning flag.

If a person recognizes these signs and admits to being a relationship addict, there are several steps that one can take to attempt to overcome this problem. As cliché' as it may sound, remember the saying " You came into this world alone, you will leave this world alone". People will encounter a large array of others throughout their life: Acquaintances, friends, lovers. Most of the people we meet along our journey will enter and at some point, they will leave. One must forget about the fairy tales of princes and accept the reality of which we live in.

In sustaining a relationship, one must take into consideration that no other person on the God given Earth is perfect. If hoping to find a perfect mate, you will remain in an endless cycle. This is not to say that one should lower their standards, or enter into a relationship with someone who does not display all of the qualities we seek in a mate. The important key is that one is realistic of the qualities that they desire for their mate to possess.

If you are replacing a man with bad and damaging habits, it may help to understand that there is nothing wrong, stereotyping or nor is it deemed as "less than acceptable" to be single. When one is single, it presents a terrific opportunity to focus on their life, their work, their health, their emotional growth. Do not look at this time as an "in-between" time, rather look at it for what it is: A phase of your life in which you are being self-sufficient and in control of your own life.

If one has patience, a realistic outlook and high self-esteem, one places themselves in a fantastic position. When the right person comes along, your physical and emotional health will be optimal, thus allowing you to enjoy the relationship that ensues. If the relationship falters, and you do not allow yourself to be a relationship addict, you will be able to deal with the situation, hold your head high and go back to being singles without feeling shame. Take pride in whatever life you have created for yourself. While we will always seek out and notice people in better situations, we usually fail to recognize those that are less fortunate than we are. Be grateful of what you do have, and be realistic of the goals you set for yourself.

Written by Alisa Chagon, webmaster and sole writer of http://www.lovebulletin.com

Am I in a Healthy Relationship?

Frequently, my clients and members of our website ask me, "Is my relationship healthy? How do I know if it is healthy?"

Just as physical health is on a continuum, emotional health and relationship health are also on a continuum. And, like physical health, each person may have different criteria regarding what constitutes health. For example, some people say they are very healthy if they get a cold or flu a few times a year, while others' health criteria is that they never get sick at all.

For some, a healthy relationship is two people who never fight or argue, or who take care of each other and basically agree on everything, or are very easy-going and give in to each other.

For others, a healthy relationship is a relationship filled with sexual passion, while others believe that a healthy relationship is when two people can talk things out in ways that reach resolution.

Rather than looking for an external definition of a healthy relationship, I suggest that you look inside and define for yourself what is very important to you in a relationship. While your relationship may have all the traditional characteristics of a healthy relationship, if it isn't what you want, then it may not be a healthy relationship for you.

Glenn, in his early thirties, was ready to get married and start a family. He had been in a number of long-term relationships that had ended for various reasons. When he consulted with me, he had been in a relationship with Katherine for 3 years. She was pushing to get married and he was resisting, but not understanding why.

Glenn and Katherine had much in common. Both were intelligent, emotionally open people, and they both wanted children. They had similar spiritual beliefs, handled money in similar ways, and enjoyed the same activities. Their sex life was good. So what was in the way of Glenn wanting to marry Katherine?

"I don't look forward to spending time with her. We don't seem to click when it comes to talking. I love to delve deeply into feelings and ideas. I love sitting at the kitchen table and talking for hours without knowing how late it is. With Katherine, conversation is difficult. Everyone thinks she is so perfect for me, but I don't feel "in love" and I think it's because we don't play off each other with our humor and we can't get into in-depth conversations."

Glenn had never before articulated how important this was to him in a relationship. Without this, the relationship was flat.

It was hard for Glenn to end the relationship with Katherine, because even though he wasn't in love with her, he did love her and didn't want to hurt her. But he knew he was not going to marry her.

A year after ending his relationship with Katherine, Glenn met Liz at a party. From the moment they started to talk, Glenn felt that, not only had he known Liz all his life, but that they could talk for hours. And talk for hours they did - and they still talk for hours after getting married and having children. Glenn says he is delighted with his healthy relationship!

So what does a healthy relationship mean to you?

A healthy relationship is one where: (you might want to mark the ones that for you constitute a healthy relationship)

We can talk about anything without fear of the other's anger or withdrawal.
We support each other in doing what makes each of us happy.
We each take responsibility for our own feelings and are able to share love, rather than expecting the other to fill us up with love.
We laugh easily together and have a lot of fun with each other.
We have similar interests and enjoy much companionship.
We each contribute financially.
We each contribute with household responsibilities and/or childcare.
We find each other endlessly interesting and always look forward to spending time together talking and sharing ideas.
We have deep trust, respect, and admiration for each other.
We have a wonderful sex life.
We are both very affectionate and love to hold, cuddle, and kiss.
We share common spiritual values.
We have the same religion.
Other - add your own.

We each have the right to decide what is most important to us in a relationship. If you find that you are not in a healthy relationship, don't despair! By doing your own Inner BondingR work, there is a good possibility that you CAN heal your relationship.

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books, relationship expert, and co-creator of the powerful Inner BondingR process - featured on Oprah. Are you are ready to discover real love and intimacy? Click here for a FREE CD/DVD relationship offer, and visit our website at www.innerbonding.com for more articles and help. Phone Sessions Available. Join the thousands we have already helped and visit us now!

Love Test - Do You Know the Best Way to Heal a Toxic Relationship?

Do you feel the stress of negativity when you're in the presence of your romantic partner? Has this negative energy harmed the romance and affection in your relationship? Have you stopped sending thoughts of love and showing acts of kindness toward your partner? Do you sense your life would be happier and healthier without your partner?

If you answered Yes to one or more of the questions in this Love Test, it's a symptom of a toxic relationship.

How do you heal it?

The same way you heal your body from an injury or disease. Given the right nutrients and support, your body is designed to repair, rebuild and revive optimal health.

Your relationships also need optimal support to repair the damage caused by toxic thoughts and actions, to rebuild a healthy connection with your intimate partner and to revive the love and positive interactions.

What kind of support do you need for relationship repair?

Avoid negativity, which is the energetic pattern of stress and disease in your body and your relationships.

Nurture feelings of love and gratitude, which are the energetic patterns that support the best health of your body and relationships.

Positive thought energy is a higher vibration than negativity, and the highest vibration always wins. This is why positive feelings, thoughts and actions are the antidote to negativity.

Why do you need this antidote?

If you remain stuck in anger, fear, jealousy or any form of negativity, you remain stuck in a toxic pattern of stress and dysfunction.

It is wise to get unstuck before this negativity triggers a downward spiral in your physical and relationship health.

How do you get unstuck?

Here is the best way to heal a toxic relationship with your partner--

Heal your relationship with yourself first.

You choose your thoughts and actions. So it is up to you to make better choices that will transform the destructive stress of negativity into positive thoughts and actions.

How do you make happier, healthier choices?

Replace your dark old habit with bright new one. This takes a conscious, consistent use of one new tool to improve your relationship with yourself:

Give yourself a time out for negative thoughts and actions, as you develop a new habit of self discipline.

Your thoughts and actions create energetic waves, much like tossing a stone into a stream and causing ripples far beyond it's landing place.

What kind of energetic waves are you creating with each thought and action?

Notice when you send out an energetic punch or poison arrow to your partner. Then take a moment to replace this negativity with a positive thought or action. When you repeat this new pattern every day for a month, it becomes a new habit. So be conscious of and consistent in sending out your best to improve your relationship.

Pay attention to your silent self talk. If you talk to yourself in hurtful or demeaning ways, take a time out for reflection. Would you say those things to your best friend? If not, it's time to stop your negative self talk so you can be your own best friend.

What if you're partner sends you negative energy in the form of nasty emails, phone calls, derogatory words, glances or actions?

No need to engage. You only escalate negativity by sending it back.

A better choice is to apply the antidote. Find a way to turn the negativity into something positive. Send back a kind thought or action, which is a higher frequency than the negative attack. And the highest vibration wins.

Once you use these tools to heal your relationship with yourself, you radiate the power to transform your intimate relationship.

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Your Relationship Could Be Killing You

The dangers of staying in a bad relationship are real and can negatively impact your health. If there seems to be something really important missing from your relationship and yet you hang on, it is time to do some self-analyzation...stagnation will always bring pain. Since bad relationships always lack something one or both partners need there is a level of stress that can undermine your health and general well-being.

Physical abuse in a relationship is never something that should be tolerated. If you are in a physically abusive relationship get help today. Taking those steps can be excruciating and you may even feel embarrassed to discuss this issue, but trust me, it will be the best thing you can do for yourself. You deserve peace and happiness and a safe loving environment on a consistent basis.

Emotional and mental abuse can also be devastating to your health. If you know that you are unhappy with a relationship and you have not made any attempt to change things, you have fallen into a trap. You may find yourself making excuses for your lover. He or she may be disrespecting you by calling you names, not attending important life events, or he or she may even be sneaking around with others. If you find that you are making excuses about his or her work schedule or travels taking up a good part of life, or telling your family and friends that "he or she didn't mean it" when they verbally lashed out at you, it is time to evaluate your situation.

You may have told your friends and family members that this person is wonderful and in reality they are selfish or abusive. But it is you that has continued to acquiesced to this behavior, accepting less than what you know in your heart you deserve. If you are trapped you need to get some emotional support so that you can move beyond this love roadblock and experience the exquisite love you deserve.

Wise people will tell you that there is someone out there who is your perfect match, but if you do not let go of a detrimental relationship you will never experience that incredible love waiting in the wings. The vacuum law of prosperity teaches us that we must let go of the worn out things in life, those things that we have outgrown, things that are no longer repairable, or no longer fit us well, in order to have something more appropriate.

Don't get me wrong, it is not always necessary to let go of a relationship that is causing distress. Sometimes all that is needed is conversation. It is quite common in relationships that one person is moving faster toward love than the other person can or wishes to. I know women and men who have told me that they immediately knew their husband or wife was the one for them, and others have said that it took time. Why does this happen? Sometimes it is just that the other person is afraid of falling in love because they have been hurt before, and other times, they may not feel worthy, or may not be able to accept the unreal feeling that true love has come their way.

Waiting for someone to change a lifestyle may be fruitless. Do not expect a married man or woman to give up their spouse for you - it rarely happens. But, giving an unattached lover time to feel more confident and comfortable in a love relationship may definitely be worth it. Only you know how long you can remain in a painful relationship without hurting yourself.

It is interesting to me that in counseling so many individuals the people that you think would have the most self-confidence often do not. I've seen gorgeous men and women (beautiful inside and out) put up with horrible relationships. Some people get married for all of the wrong reasons having nothing at all to do with love but rather some obligation or convenience. How sad.

Chemistry between people can be mind-blowing. If you have never experienced what is called "love at first sight" you cannot imagine the overpowering impulses that take place within the human body, mind and spirit. This kind of love can be the love that lasts a lifetime, and other strong relationships can be built with time and friendship. Eventually, whomever it is that you have fallen in love with needs to become your dearest friend or it will never really last or be healthy.

Be certain that whatever it is that matters most to you in a relationship is reciprocated. If you are someone who needs to live a totally committed monogamous life, do not choose someone who does not have that capacity or desire. If you are someone who loves to have sex frequently but your partner is happy with a habitual once a week encounter, that won't work either. If you adore home cooked meals, being with family and friends and entertaining but your partner loves his or her solitude above all else - conflict could be a forever thing. If you love romance, thoughtfulness not just in day-to-day life, but in the bedroom as well, but your partner shows prominent signs of selfishness, you need to have a conversation to try and balance things.In any relationship worth keeping it is important to compromise. As we give of ourselves in ways that are uncomfortable it shows that we are willing to contribute towards the success of a relationship.

If you continue to put up with less than you know you deserve in a relationships you need to ask yourself why. Are you addicted to negative behavior? Or could you be emotionally or chemically addicted to your lover? Both of those things are very real. Some children become addicted to negative behavior because the attention that they receive is often related to disobedience. After a while the human psyche cannot differentiate between the attention one gets from negative behavior or from positive behavior. All a child comes to recognize subconsciously is that they are receiving attention. So check your pattern.

Now regarding addictions to people - Haven't you ever just loved being around someone? Sure you have! Everyone enjoys the company of certain people who are charismatic, handsome, or beautiful, funny, and outgoing! It is a joy to be with people who are always uplifting and make you feel good about yourself. But personal chemistry addictions can be stressful as well.

Have people ever told you something like this: "I just love being around you!" If you are one of those people that attract many admirers you could be a real heartbreaker whether you know it or not. Sometimes people are just addicted to the love that emanates from certain individuals. Those people tend to just sparkle and light up a room; they can turn sadness into joy, and boredom into exhilaration. They tend to see the possibilities in life rather than the roadblocks. They are great storytellers. In fact, these are the people that can see the very best in you even when you can't recognize it in yourself.

If you happen to be in love with one of these charismatic people you know that they can turn average sex into something unforgettable, or make you feel as though all of your problems disappear in their arms; and they tend to be wonderful in business if they are leading the organization. They are often the ones in a relationship that know how to keep things fresh and exciting on all levels. But if you are not ready for these whirlwind relationships they can cause confusion. These shining stars tend to jump into life and situations; they can be so vivacious and alluring that you don't know what hit you!

Love can be such fun and add so much to the joy of every day life. Be sure that the love you are engaging is for real and you are not trapped in a relationship that is beneath that which you deserve. Listen to the thoughts and observations of those who know you best. If you feel the relationship is worth saving, talk with your lover/spouse and get some help if need be. Sometimes all it takes is bringing the problem to the other party's attention. We tend to go through life with a certain level of expectation. We expect in life and from others to be treated as we would wish to be treated ourselves. That is the golden rule that I choose to live by. I also tend to give everyone the benefit of the doubt time and time again, seeing the very best in people. However, if someone pushes me in a direction that is injurious to me on any level--I draw the line.

Never move against that which you know in your heart is right and good for you. Do not give up your moral or ethical code to win the admiration or love of any one. If you do so - you may eventually be sorry. Why waste time, take action now to create the life that you really deserve and desire.

Enjoy healthy relationships and love life!

Janet Angel is a sought-after wellness expert with advanced degrees in nutritional biochemistry and psychology. She believes that everyone needs to educate themselves on the wellness opportunities available around the world. Dr. Angel has counseled many prominent citizens across the United States and has participated in several international research programs surrounding health. She has been a guest on many radio programs, is a public speaker, author and seminar leader. Dr. Angel believes that the body has the innate ability to heal itself in most circumstances, given the right environment, the right elements and the opportunity. For further information on her drive to help others reach their fullest potential, please go to http://www.Totallywell.com.

Develop Your Relationship With Food

Understanding Where You Stand

What is your current relationship with food? You've heard the saying "live to eat or eat to live." How do you feel when it comes to eating? Do you feel tense or uneasy - a feeling of excitement or neutral at meal time? Do you enjoy preparing and cooking your meals? Or does a loved one cook for you? Do you sit down and take time out of your busy schedule to contemplate the food before you?

Whilst these questions may seem like ones you haven't given much thought to, you should take the time to ponder how you respond to one or a number of the questions. Your upbringing has an impact on your current relationship with food. People in English speaking countries sit down in front of TV's when eating. Religion may play a part - perhaps reciting grace before meals. Blessing the meal before you eat is an important ritual and one that continues in many cultures. Sharing a meal with loved ones is a practise I regularly advocate to clients.

Both my parents grew up abroad in non English speaking countries. They were raised in agricultural environments. My father's family were apple farmers, high in the mountains. They lived off the land. Sustainability was very much common practise sixty years ago. For they respected the land and had a great affinity with the food they prepared each day. They had regular contact with food using their hands.

My upbringing revolved around this ideal. My mother remains an amazing cook. Over the years, having read and studied hundreds of literature of nutrition, disease and illness, I have come to one conclusion about developing a relationship with food - love. Food is spiritual, nourishing to the body, mind and spirit. Food should be consumed in an environment filled with love, openness and warmth.

My mother still grows all her own vegetables and tends to her garden regularly. You'll often see the proud expression on her face when her garden bears the fruits of her labour. The neighbours often stop by on their walk to ask her for advice on growing vegetables. Her garden naturally flourishes and bears amazing vegetables and herbs on a seasonal basis.

She cooks, applying the same attitude - imparting love, joy and enthusiasm into her meals. In the Middle Eastern culture, it is accepted that one takes a great deal of pride feeding loved ones i.e. family members, friends etc. Middle Eastern people enjoy entertaining guests with sometimes over the top hospitality. It means a great deal to demonstrate their culture via food. It becomes the embodiment of who they are as a people. This is also apparent in other cultures.

My mother applies the same wisdom when preparing and cooking food. I've witnessed her in the kitchen in a trance like state when cooking - no one dares enters! She especially enjoys cooking for loved ones, since she finds an expression of love via the food she prepares and cooks. She holds a strong relationship with food, making regular contact from the moment it is put into the ground to being served at dinner. One develops a strong spiritual connection with food in this manner. It is nurtured and evolved to the point others share in its flavours and benefits.

Making a Decision to Move Forward

Whilst I'm not suggesting that everyone begin cultivating a garden, I do suggest you develop a positive relationship with food. A possible reason for the increase in the obesity epidemic in our culture is attributed to losing our relationship with food. Look back at what you consumed yesterday and recall how many packaged items you ate? Compare this with the fresh, organic produce you consumed? Now, unless you live on a farm I guarantee that at least 60% or more of the food you ate were packaged items.

Know this - there is no relationship with packaged food. You take the food out of the wrapper or box, add ingredients to it and/or shove it into a microwave or oven for cooking. If you're like most people, you're impatient and take the absolute shortest time possible to prepare and cook it, subsequently shoving it down your mouth. Later complaining of digestive related ailments as a result. Our genetic disposition is not geared toward this type of feeding pattern.

It's no wonder antacids and other drug based products are the leading sales for digestive complaints. It's like pouring cement down a drain expecting it to clear up. This post is intended to help you ask the right questions about your relationship with food. If you begin taking action in the right direction, then you'll have done well.

Remember health is NOT an event as mentioned previously - it is a process. You NEED to develop a relationship with what, when and how you nourish your body. Each decision you make brings you closer or further away from health. From achieving your ideal weight and your ideal life. Yes it is hard to say no to foods which you like. Those foods which are rich in calories, but dead in vitality. I'm not proclaiming to be a preacher about the perils of junk food. I occasionally enjoy such treats when my body calls for it. I don't make it a habit and nor should you.

Your relationship with food should become a journey, not a destination. For a journey allows you to learn what works and what doesn't. You become someone along the way. You develop processes which enrich your life and your body. You develop character and substance, which ultimately means junk food, serves little or no place in your life - much like a destructive relationship.

Wherever you are in your journey with food, make a conscious decision to move forward in the right direction. The right direction will be one that will allow you to reach your ideal body weight. It will be one which allows your authentic self to shine forth; for in choosing the right foods you choose your destiny.

You will become congruent with what you eat, how you move, sleep, breathe and think. You will BECOME someone worthy of living a rich, abundant life since you made an effort to throw out that which no longer served your greatest potential. That is what I mean when I talk about awakening your authentic self and developing a meaningful relationship with food.

Tony Fahkry is an expert in integrating the mind-body connection with health & healing, personal development and self awareness to achieve greater human potential. I do this by drawing awareness to self, removing limitations and obstacles which restrict personal growth and development.

My program Awaken Your Authentic Self trains people how to reclaim their mental and physical well being. Based on three fundamental principles I have found essential for achieving radiant health to healing from disease and illness. Following these principles in their daily lives people see a powerful shift from fatigue, unhappiness, stress, depressed mood to feelings of vitality, a renewed sense of life purpose and the energy to make it happen.

My Awaken Your Authentic Self eBook shows you how to reclaim and renew your health & wellbeing. Visit http://www.awakenyourauthenticself.com.au to learn more.

What's the Most Important Relationship Issue for New Parents? No, Not Sex - SLEEP!

If there's one postpartum relationship topic that's addressed in the media with some regularity, it's sex: Are you getting any? Do you both want it?

There's no doubt about it: Sex is important to relationship satisfaction.

But the more I talk to new parents, and the more I learn about the impact of newborns on relationships, the more convinced I become that, in focusing on sex, we've downplayed a far more important postpartum priority: Sleep.

If new parents can take precious time to better understand, and find ways to decrease, sleep deprivation, I believe we not only can enhance our relationship satisfaction, we might also have more energy for sex!

Plus, adequate sleep is good for our health. Put another way, the scientific community has been drawing causal relationships between lack of sleep and daunting health risks, like heart disease, accidents, cancer and diabetes.

The importance of sleep is underscored by the primary finding of a 2010 study of 22 postpartum couples conducted by West Virginia University, the American Psychological Association, and the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development:

"First-time parents' relationship satisfaction is related to the amount of sleep they get while caring for an infant."

Given that the connection between sleep and relationship satisfaction is, what's called, bi-directional--meaning, sleep quality impacts relationship quality, and relationship quality impacts our sleep--it's hard to overestimate the importance of slumber to new parents.

It's also important to pay attention to the sleep patterns we establish as a couple after our babies are born. Here, data from a 2010 University of Michigan study offers important insights, as working moms were 2.5 times more likely than dads to interrupt their sleep to care for babies and kids. More than that, on average moms' sleep interruptions last longer. This discrepancy is especially acute for those with children under age 1 (a.k.a., new parents).

Once we acknowledge the importance of sleep to our relationship satisfaction (indeed, to our overall satisfaction), what can we do to get more of it?

Sleep Tips for New Parents (and expecting couples en route to parenthood):

1) Grab shut-eye whenever, wherever, however you can.

Most new moms know the drill about napping when newborns do (and many claim that's often hard to do). It's important, then, for couples to encourage each other to sleep whenever the opportunity arises, including in another room, if that's the only way to sleep for a decent stretch of time.

2) Carefully consider the benefits and downsides of the family bed, and if you opt for co-sleeping discuss how, as a couple, you want to support each other and your relationship.

As a parent, I don't feel strongly one way or another about the family bed. As a Relationship Coach, I'm compelled to share the results of a recent British study: 40% of British parents allow their young kids to sleep with them. The relationship fallout is noteworthy: 25% have regular arguments about bed-sharing; almost half report their love lives have suffered; and 57% wish their kids would leave their beds. If you opt for the family bed, check in with each other regularly about its impact, if any, on your relationship, and get creative in finding ways to help each other get more sleep.

3) Craft a truly equitable sleep-interruption policy.

Do your best to defy the statistic that the sleep of working moms is interrupted 2.5 times more than dads. Why? Because significant inequities in the performance of parenting tasks, like who gets up at night, can breed resentment and dissatisfaction. And those feelings can have a negative effect on relationship intimacy and sex. Plus, whether or not we're stay-at-home parents, caring for a baby is a demanding job, which means we all need sleep!

4) Consider researching and discussing sleep-training philosophies when you're expecting. Revisit them postpartum when you have a better sense of your baby's personality and patterns.

Like so many parenting topics, whether or not to sleep-train, and what approach to use, is fraught with as many opinions as experts. The goal, then, isn't to make a conclusion about sleep training when we're expecting, or even when the baby's here; it's to factor the impact of sleep deprivation on individual health and on relationship satisfaction into our decisions, and ensure that we're as thoughtful and collaborative as possible as we consider our options.

5) Take friends and family up on offers to watch the baby, or ask if they don't offer.

When new parents think of babysitting, we often focus on a date-night or some other version of getting out of the house without a baby in tow. Yet as, if not more, important in the first few postpartum months is babysitting in service of sleep. So, say yes to offers by friends and family to watch the baby for an hour or two so you can grab some shut-eye. If your support system--especially those without kids or empty-nesters--are less than gracious in offering to babysit, they might not know or have forgotten how helpful an hour or two of respite can be. So, go ahead and ask them. Worst-case scenario? They say no.

What's the bottom line in all this for new parents; heck, for all couples with young kids? It's really quite simple:

We need to wake up to the importance of sleep.

Doing so will improve our personal and relationship wellbeing and, in turn, enhance how we co-parent our kids.

Rhona Berens, PhD, CPCC, is a professional relationship coach, toddler mom and founder of Parent AllianceR, an information and coaching resource for expecting couples and new parents devoted to ensuring their relationships thrive after they have kids.

Healing Relationship

Relationship can be like heaven; or like hell. Most everybody has experienced the upside of a good relationship. And, if you have not yet experienced the downside of a bad one, well, you are not yet complete or whole. Interestingly, the word 'health' and the word 'whole' both have the same Old English root, 'hal.' So, health and whole is the same thing. And, whole tends to mean complete, including opposites, such as the bad and the good in a relationship. One of the simplest approaches to healing relationship is to accept that there are going to be ups and downs and to experience the downs with as much relish as the ups. In fact, the downs can become a springboard for higher ups.

Like a physical illness or pain in the body, we tend not to think of the need for healing or remedies for relationship unless there are problems. Problems in a relationship are the springboards for becoming more whole, having more health in the relationship. However, just as some illness can be terminal, so some problems in a relationship can end in separation or divorce. Still, we attempt to heal our wounds, and we attempt to save our relationship, if we can.

The medicine used to heal a relationship is a) an understanding that one's partner often acts as a mirror reflecting one's own personal issues that need to be addressed and b) communication about such reflections. For example, if a husband is controlling and a wife passive and this is causing problems in the relationship, then the wife needs to view her issue to address as having to do with control, not passivity; and, the husband's issue has to do with passivity, not control. If the wife complains of the husband's controlling nature, the relationship becomes healing, becomes more whole, when she thinks also of that in reference to her passivity. He may not be controlling by nature, he may just be controlling when in relationship to her passivity. One exercise is to have the couple reverse roles in a theatrical style skit. In a role-playing scenario, she becomes controlling and he passive, and then dialogue about how that feels to each other. This can help each partner experience what the other might feel which can shed some insight and alter behaviors.

Because we all come to relationship with our own history, our own 'baggage,' and because relationships are like two people squeezing together, and which squeezing can then 'stuff' up, one can expect conflict to arise. Every arising of these kinds of conflicts is an opportunity to make the relationship more whole. However, it is critical that these issues are addressed as soon as possible. The worst thing to do is discount them, dismiss then, ignore them or hide them away. Small seemingly inconsequential conflicts can build up, year after year leading to a time when there is resentment, hostility, passive-aggressive behaviors and a general dislike of our partner. We seek somebody else and, if we do not know how to heal relationship, the same thing happens again.

Our model of relationship is formed during childhood as we observe adults, mostly our parents, interacting. Clearly, they were not perfect, as nobody is. So, you picked up all kinds of ways of relating. In addition, you may have reacted against what you were seeing in your parents and adopted different, maybe even opposite, ways of relating. When, as an adolescent or an adult, you meet someone and enter into a relationship, you both bring to the relationship these ways of interacting that you absorbed as a child. It is often said that when two people are together, there are actually six: you as you are perceived by the other, you as you are perceived by yourself, and you as you really are. Three of you. The same holds true for the other person as well. The goal of being in a genuine, authentic relationship is a challenge for anybody, because we each have our childhood conditioning.... We each have to deal with who we think we are and who others think we are in contrast to who we really are. And, expressing who we really are is often risky and difficult, for fear of rejection, ridicule, punishment, abandonment, neglect, abuse and, basically, being unaccepted and unloved. And yet, a healing relationship, a whole relationship, requires genuine authenticity.

Conflicts, hurts and woundedness in a relationship can be the springboard for healing and wholeness IF the couple is willing to accept that when the finger points to the other person, it also points to themselves. And, IF the couple can sit down together and dialogue about the role each plays in bringing about the problem, then the couple can also dialogue about the role each plays in bringing about the solution. To accomplish this one needs to be LUCID:

1) Listening- hear what is said, and what is not said

2) Understanding -feel what the other feels

3) Compromise -be flexible and adaptable

4) Integrity -honor and express your needs

5) Determination -care and commitment to desired goals

Ken Fields is a nationally certified licensed mental health counselor. With over 25 years in the mental health field, he has worked as as an individual and family therapist throughout school districts and within communities, a crisis intervention counselor, a clinical supervisor and an administrator in a human service agency. He has taught classes in meditation, visualization, goal setting, self-image psychology, anger and stress management, negotiation, mediation and communication, crisis intervention, and parenting. Mr. Fields specializes in Cognitive Behavior Therapy, Family Systems Therapy and Communication Coaching. As a practicing counseling psychologist, Mr. Fields brings decades of specialized training and applied skills to his work. He now provides quality online counseling and can be found at http://www.openmindcounseling.com

Strategies For Improving Your Relationships, Health, and Productivity in 2009

As we quickly approach a new year we are all reflecting on the past and our goals for the future.

Many thoughts and questions come to mind.

How can you become more efficient? How can you save time on one task to gain more time, and money? What do I need to do to get that nice new car? What do you need to do to look better or lose more weight?

How can you improve your relationships and make your spouse love you more? How can you be more like the Jones family down the street who seem to have their act together.

We all are guilty of judging our own success by comparing ourselves to others. Friends, there is not a single person out there better than you, as a human being, if you are not hurting people, or involved in criminal activity and doing the best that you can at what you do.

The most important goals we can set for ourselves are those that help us achieve satisfaction with life.

Take the time, as you write down your resolutions for the new year, to see if the following thoughts fit into your game plan for the coming year.

1. Visualize How You Want Your Life To Be - take the time every day to relax and think about what you want. Visualize how you see yourself. What you are doing, what you are wearing, who you hang out with. Change how you dress if that makes you feel better about yourself. See yourself as someone with endless energy and ready to conquer the world or at least your next task. Feel good about yourself.

2. Learn Something New Everyday- keep reading, researching, and brainstorming. Just reading something of interest may turn on a light that gives you an idea or answer to an issue you have been pondering.

3. Interact With Positive People- if your friends are negative they will bring you down. There are people who find something wrong with any experience, or idea that comes their way. These people may be members of your own family. Make it a goal to network and make friends with positive people that have similar interest to your own. Those are the people that will keep you motivated when things do not seem to be going as planned.

4. Enjoy The Simple Things- take the time to enjoy the things you like to do. What kind of life is it to only focus on what you think others expect from you. Take the time to smell the roses.

5. Laugh A lot- this is the cheapest, safest form of therapy anyone can have. Laughing helps you forget your troubles, decreases stress, and stimulates the release of endorphins, which are the bodies natural pain killers.

6. Make Fitness A Part Of Your Life- if you do not focus and take care of yourself what good will you be to others? Exercising decreases stress, helps clear mental cloudiness, relaxes you, improves your morale, and helps you be more productive. You will enjoy life, your work, be more pleasant to be around and increase your chances of living a longer and healthier life.

7. Stay Healthy- you should make educating yourself on what is considered optimal health a life long goal. Take the time to learn what your ideal weight, blood pressure, and cholesterol should be. Know and understand what illness you may be at risk for based upon your life style, family history, and habits. You may think that is your doctors problem, but in reality you are ultimately responsible for your own health. The most important thing you can do for yourself and loved ones is doing your part to understand your health so that you can live a longer and more productive life. If there are health problems that need addressed, approach them one at a time, unless it is something potentially life threatening.

8. Be Happy- if you are unhappy you must look inside to determine what keeps you in that state of mind. There is no question that financial, health, relationship, and others problems can weigh so heavily on you that it is hard to see the joy in any aspect of your life. Life and the issues that go with it can be overwhelming. If you are having trouble seeing light at the end of the tunnel talk to someone about your problems. Sometimes just hearing another person's perspective on something will improve your outlook and give you direction. Do not hesitate to seek professional counseling if things do not seem to be turning around. Some of the brightest and most successful people have a therapist to help them keep things in check. Try to look inside yourself and find what you need to bring you happiness. Try to find inside yourself what would make you happy if you were never being able to change your current relationships, financial situation, or social status. I am sure there are others that would agree that having more than enough money, the biggest house, the nicest car, etc. does not ultimately bring more happiness. These things all come with there own set of headaches. Financial security does provide you with more opportunities, but not true happiness. This is not intended to give you an excuse for not trying to make changes, but to encourage you to look deeper for what you need in life to make you feel content and happy.

9. Manage Your Stress- we are all unique in how we respond to stressful situations in life. You must find ways to help relieve stress even if you only allow yourself 5 minutes per day. Failure to manage your stress will impact all aspects of your life in a negative way. Offer to help someone out, so that they can take a stress relieving break. They will more than likely be happy to return the favor.

10. Take A Worry Break- constantly worrying about all of life's issues can paralyze you. It can lead to procrastination in all aspects of your life. If you are constantly worrying about things take the time to write them all down. Then look at each one and determine if there is something or someone that could help remove that worry. Letting someone else help you deal with issues that are overwhelming will allow you to focus on more important things in your life in a more productive way. It could be something as simple as letting someone else deal with phone calls from bill collectors that you find yourself avoiding. It may be hard to do and require some practice, but give yourself 5 or 10 minutes per day, to just worry about the things that are on your mind.Then get back to focusing on more important task that will help bring back the joy in your life.

11. Teach Something- we all have unique experiences, knowledge, and wisdom that will benefit another. Keep learning then pass it on. The best way to keep feeling young is to feel useful. Make it your goal, for the new year, to pass along something useful to someone that expresses an interest in your interest.

No matter what your game, if you are doing the best that you can, then that should be good enough. If you want to find contentment and happiness you must not allow your satisfaction in life to revolve around how someone else is living or doing things. If you are making a living, taking care of your family, and being a good parent then no one can or has the right to say they are better than you.

If you are not happy with your performance then look at how others are doing something similar to what you are currently focusing your time on. Study their methods and then modify your system until you feel things are good enough. Watching and learning how others perform certain task or conduct their lives does not make them a better person, they may be just performing a similar thing differently or more efficiently.

This could be applied to anyone. It doesn't matter if your game is being a parent, teaching second grade, a physician, nurse, pumping gas, or running the most powerful country in the world. There will always be someone that does it a little better or different than you do. That makes them an opportunity for you to learn from and fine tune your skills.

I speculate that future wealth will not be reflected by our checking account balance, but in the value we provide to others through networking and just being a good person.

No matter how small or unbelievable your goals may be for 2009, make it your mission to share something of value with another. Those things that you consider trivial may be just what is needed to change your world and the world of those around you.

Curtis E. McElroy is an internal medicine physician with an interest in health and wellness, anti-aging, fitness, weight loss, self improvement, and motivation.
http://imdocmac.com/motivation and http://imdocmac.com/mydailypassion.

What Makes a Good Health Coach?

There are of course many qualities that make a person a good health coach. While it certainly makes sense for someone already in the health and wellness industry, it is not necessarily a requirement to become a health coach.

This article discusses some of the basic qualities of what makes a person a good health or wellness coach, regardless of his/her background.

One such quality is the ability to empathetically communicate with people. Empathetic communication will encourage the client to accept you as a trusted health coach. What this means is that the health coach can identify with the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of his client. Using empathy may lead to an improved relationship between the health coach and client.

Another quality that is related to empathetic communication is to really listen, actually to listen effectively. A coach needs to be trained to listen effectively since people vary in their communication skills. Some clients may express themselves clearly while others may not. A coach needs to be aware of the different needs of his/her client base and how the coach/client communication and listening skills affect the interaction.

The wellness coach has to leave his personal opinions out of the coaching session. The coach needs to be completely non-judgmental. The wellness coach absolutely should not judge his/her client based on his personal standards or opinions. Much of a coach's training will be on how to be aware of this and to have the self control to NOT allow his personal opinions to be communicated.

Another fundamental quality of a health coach is the integrity to keep all information about the client confidential. The coach/client relationship is based on trust and the client must be sure that the coach can be trusted with private matters.

In addition, the coach still must be somewhat of a mentor, guidance counselor and cheerleader all wrapped up in one! The health coach should allow the client some flexibility in the agenda of each session, but the coach should also guide the session conversation so that it is an effective one. The client sets his/her own goals, again with the guidance from the coach. The coach may challenge the client a bit if the goals are too vague or too big. In the latter case, the coach may suggest smaller "bite size" goals so that the client has a better chance of reaching those goals. Of course, all successes are celebrated.

In summary, there are many qualities that a health coach should have and there are also many roles that he/she has. Each coaching relationship will be different and the wellness coach will need to be a bit flexible. A coaching relationship can in some cases grow into a life-long friendship as well.

Ann Totten has always been interested in all areas of health and health education. She has a passion for helping others achieve their goals, dreams and aspirations. To learn more about Ann Totten and health coach training Click Here

Six Basic Fears That Change Relationships

So, in your dealings with others be aware that if you push a person into one of these six fears they will not act rationally.

It is also a degree of self-awareness to note that if you start acting with stress or nervous tension, or lose your sense of self-humour (can't laugh at yourself) or find yourself worried, sleepless or run down and needing a holiday, then the source of that exhaustion and unhappiness is one of these six fears:

The Fear of Poverty
The Fear of Old Age
The Fear of Criticism
The Fear of Loss of Love from Someone
The Fear of Ill Health
The Fear of Death

While any one of these six fears run our day, we cannot be authentic because happiness will be defined as the overcoming of a fear, even if that fear is subconscious.

It is argued that these fears are socialised into our memes and therefore are not always in our field of awareness. In other words we may often be acting from fear even when we'd argue that we are not.

Animals act from instinct. Most instinct is underpinned by fear. Animals act from fear nearly 100% of the time, even when they are being affectionate, fear is driving this.

Human fear is animal instinct and it is inherent within our everyday being when we are operating at our animal level of life. That level still exists in all humans as a protective mechanism.

When, for example, you hear a person say "I GOT TO" or "I HAVE TO" or "YOU'VE GOT TO" or "YOU HAVE TO" then you can recognise the animal level of human being, and the presence of a driving fear. (one of the six or all)

1. The Fear of Poverty

People fill their pockets with money because they don't trust. Our world has become simplistically identified with wealth as a barometer of a person's value.

Wealthy seems to imply successful and yet, wealth on the outside and inner-wealth seem to be recognised as separate conversations.

A person with wealth who has no inner wealth will fear the loss of wealth. A person in poverty who has inner wealth will have no fear of poverty because they will have trust.

If there is an inherent lack of trust in humans and God, a person will grasp for wealth in order to escape the fear of poverty but they will never rest. The fear cannot be expunged for more than a few weeks with increased wealth before the fear resurfaces and there is once again, not enough.

Trust in people, life and God can be easily eroded with the death of a parent, pain inflicted by a trusted family member or breach of faith from a trusted friend. All this, most significantly happens within the first three years of a person's life, but escalates to classical scenarios of abuse and deception later in life. If trust is sustained within the first three years of a person's life, it is unlikely to fade later in life, no matter what transpires.

Fear of poverty comes from lack of trust and this can also be passed genetically from mother, father to child in the first three years. Awareness of such emotional, energetic, DNA and electrical transfer is the topic of most good parenting guidance.

2. The Fear of Old Age

There are two roots to the fear of Old Age. One emanates from the fear of poverty and the other from the fear of helplessness, unable to protect oneself from the from the fears mentioned in Fear 3 and Fear 4.

3. The Fear of Criticism

The whole fashion industry evolved out of this fear. And now, social networking, where media can, if well filtered protect a person from this deepest of fears.

We can choose electronic friends, disguise ourselves in fashion, we can drive a car to make a statement but all the time, living in fear that someone will reject us.

This fear of criticism is highly emotional and causes huge choices in people's subconscious life. It means, we go and associate with others who we believe will not criticise us.

It is also the cause of relationship failure in more than 90% of cases. The fear of criticism sits beneath many marriage arrangements that are called love where an individual holds shame or guilt about themselves, their life, their actions or their family, they hope to find a place to hide and relax with that fear, and often choose relationships. But soon, in that relationship, their fears come near, and they begin to feel ashamed of themselves blaming their partner for the breakdown, not realising that they entered the relationship carrying a fear and will leave with the same fear.

4. The Fear of Loss of Love from Someone

For many men, relationships with women are their anti depressant. It can be seen from the number of men who become insane after relationships end that the relationship was causing more than love.

Jealousy, hate, murder, rape, violence, abuse, greed and so many more of the base emotional animal in humans come from the fear of loss of love from someone.

Many people define the sustaining of love as a singular loyalty. In childhood this can be seen when children get hurt when a "best friend" adopts another friend, and the first child feels competed against. Fear, love, and the loss of it from someone, seems to be triggered by so many strange social signals.

Sex with strangers is great example. Sex and love are separate topics but we bind them religiously in order to protect love. We fear, deeply that sex will lead to love, so, we bind people into monogamy.

Fear of loss of love from someone is not limited to relationships of an adult significant other. Parents, friends, work colleagues, and more are not mentioned as "valuable Love" sources but are. Hence, many of the upsets that come in such environments are driven, in the greatest part, by the fear of loss of love from someone.

5. The Fear of Ill Health

Fear of Ill health has its roots in similar places to the Fear of Old Age and the Fear of Poverty.

It seems obvious that health is natural, however, in our search to avoid it, we become vulnerable to so much of the marketing and sales hype of shonky teachers, products and process that we make ourselves ill.

Foods, fast foods are decorated to appear healthy. Herbs and medicines follow traditional healthy packaging displays and Television advertising, even for dish washing liquid, portrays this product under the banner of a healthy giving, fear alleviating product benefit.

The fear of ill health drives many people to illness.

6. The Fear of Death

Nobody knows what happens before we're born or after we die. Many guess, some sell ideas, others find passages in books to deal with their fear of death, but there is uncertainty about death and therefore an enormous fear of it.

The more animal nature a person experiences the deeper their fear. One such exhibition of human animal nature is in terrorism and fundamental religious teachings that exclude all argument in the name of RIGHTEOUSNESS. A resolution of fear in this case is a belief. Such beliefs are based on uncertainty, upheld in righteousness by adherence.

It is the source of the greatest human deception, religious beliefs that promise certainty of the afterlife and therefore one can argue that the FEAR of DEATH must be a great fear in all human kind.

If one person says, "I know what will happen to me after my death" you can know with certainty only one thing, and that is, this person has a huge innate fear of death to which they apply, a belief to overcome it. Be aware that if you scratch the surface of such a person's belief you will scratch their fear and, as in all animal nature, their behavior will be unpredictable, aggressive and protective.

Beyond Fear

Beyond fear as a driving force in life there is another world. This is not an escape from fear, because, fear and the six fears are there by necessity. What can change however, with relatively simple application, is the influence those fears have on our relationships, health, wealth, work and service to others.

Chris Walker < http://www.chriswalker.com.au > is a visionary business consultant and of the world's leading facilitators of Personal/Professional Development. Author, consultant and professional speaker, his considered a leader in the field of human potential and lifestyles for success. His VIP and Mastery Programs have been attended by thousands of individuals around the world seeking tools to live life and manage their careers to their fullest potential. http://www.chriswalker.com.au

5 Incentives For Improving Your Relationship - Why Would I Want to Work on My Marriage?

It's nice to talk about being sweet to each other and living happily ever after; but it's not always realistic because it's not always that easy. It's easy to get jealous when you see someone else's "prefect relationship;" but don't make the mistake of assuming that their relationship just "magically" happened to them, or that it was always easy for them.

Building a truly great relationship requires attention and energy; and most people need a pretty good reason before they put attention and energy into anything. What's the payoff? Why should I work on my relationship? You benefit in many ways when you improve yourself and your relationships. We all do. But, in case you need specific reasons to put energy and effort into your life, here is a list of five-incentives for investing your time and energy into the improvement of your relationship.

1. Your life is a series of experiences and perceptions that can span many decades. Marriages often last decades. If you are not happily married, and you do nothing to improve it, you are surrendering many happy years of life. You can justify your misery and you will end up looking back on a miserable life; or you can improve things and have a fun life.

2. Stress is blamed for approximately 90% of all trips to the doctor's office. Relationships are one of the biggest sources of stress. If you improve your relationship, you can expect to see dramatic improvements in your health - and you'll probably even lose some weight if you're holding on to unwanted pounds.

3. Happily married people live longer than anybody. Working on your relationship is the same as working on extending your life on earth - and improving the quality of that life on a daily basis.

4. A good marriage is like a good team. A strong partnership can build great things - much greater than what one can build on their own - and a strong union can endure great adversity. By working to improve your relationship and support and encourage your partner, you will be gaining a powerful ally and asset for your journey through life. If you improve your relationship, it will sustain you in the most difficult times.

5. Being married is less expensive than being single; and, if you're going to be married, you might as well enjoy and get the most out of your situation by learning to be happily married. When people are stressed - by their relationship or anything - they often exhibit costly behaviors such as: consuming food, drugs, alcohol, and other consumer goods and services, at a much higher rate than people who are relaxed and happy. Being single is expensive, and being married and stressed and unhappy is expensive; but being happily married is beneficial to you in every conceivable way. Learn to be happy and at peace in your relationship; you almost can't afford not to.

You can improve any area of your life and relationship if you have a reason to do so. For some people, suffering and discomfort are reasons enough to change the way they do business; but others need a good reason, or a clearly and obvious benefit to making any changes at all in life. Consider that, if you are married, your marriage affects every other part of your life; and, by improving it, you will automatically improve every other area of life. So, if you're going to be married anyway, you should seriously consider learning how to do it right; your health, longevity, happiness, success, and prosperity will all improve with each step you take toward enhancing your relationship. Make your own list of reasons - or use these - and get started making tomorrow better than today.

*To download your FREE, Illustrated Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) Manual, go to: http://www.ExploreExpandEvolve.com/free_download/

It only takes about 10-seconds to get your Free EFT manual and start erasing fears, resentment, stress, anxiety, grief, negative emotions, negative self-talk, phobias, and limiting beliefs that could be holding you back and limiting your life, health, and relationships.

Pete Koerner is the author of The Belief Formula: The Secret to Unlocking the Power of Prayer. The Belief Formula is a look at how you can use ancient wisdom and modern scientific awareness to learn how to use your mind to reclaim your health and create the life of your dreams.

For a Free Report on Making The Belief Formula Work for You, visit: http://www.TheBeliefFormula.com (This report focuses on improving your health with your thoughts.)

Healthy Relationships Revealed

Healthy relationships are dependent on the health of the people in the relationship. This is not exclusive to physical health; in fact the physical health is lower in importance for realizing a healthy relationship. Mental and spiritual health are the most influencing factors when it comes to the health of a relationship.

Mental health

The easiest way to explain mental health is to say it is how an individual views and treats themselves. Yes, mental health is often influenced by outside stimuli, but it still boils down to how the individual responds to that stimulus towards themselves. Besides, life in itself is nothing more than an accumulation of outside influences and experiences. It is how that individual responds, grows and matures from those experiences that measure their mental health. By looking at it in that manner, it is much easier to see how important mental health is to a healthy relationship. If someone does not have a healthy relationship with themselves, then they will not be able to experience or contribute to a healthy relationship with anyone else.

Spiritual health

While typically people tend to associate spirituality with religion, there is actually a great difference between the two. For the concept of healthy relationships, we will have to separate the two even more. Spiritual health is better associated on how an individual views and treats others. This is our spiritual health because, if we are kind and generally loving to others, we tend to be spiritually sound. But if someone generally takes advantage of others and generally mistreats people, then their spiritual health is very lacking, and over time can completely dissipate. Spiritual health may be more apparent to the contribution of a healthy relationship, as it is how someone treats others. Since a relationship is the cohesive interaction and growth of two individuals, each individual's spiritual health is important.

The interesting thing about the spiritual health is that people who have a poor spiritual health will typically find themselves partnered with those who have poor mental health. This type of coupling tends to produce not only an unhealthy relationship, but more likely a completely toxic relationship. When people get depressed, place their personal happiness on the shoulders of someone else, they open themselves to those who thrive on that negative energy. It is this type of relationship that is most common, and of course the most damaging to both individuals. People with sound mental and spiritual health might find themselves with someone who is lacking in either area, but they will remove themselves from this unhealthy relationship as soon as possible. Failure to do so, will begin to drain on their own health, until they eventually, for lack of a better word, compliment their partner deficiency.

Understanding these basic foundational concepts will provide you with the pathway to be able to contribute and experience healthy relationships. Not only healthy romantic partnerships, but friendships and even family as well. If you find yourself in unhealthy relationships from time to time, then that might be a good indicator for you to look at yourself. Now if you find yourself in those toxic relationships, especially if they seem to go on and on for long periods of time, then you must immediately look at yourself. Focus on your own mental health. If you are unable to look at yourself alone, then get some help. Work on the things you don't like about yourself, retrain the way you treat yourself. Focusing here is where your efforts will pay off the most, as an individual's mental health will affect their spiritual health. Raise one, and the other will follow. Sometimes your mental health will depend on your physical health. If so, then start there.

The most important thing to remember is that if you want to have a healthy relationship, you have to be healthy yourself. You cannot depend on someone else to do this for you. It is completely impossible. Healthy people will not stay with unhealthy ones. And if you are able to bring a healthy person to an unhealthy level, then it is no longer capable of being a healthy relationship. So fix your broken parts till you can smile at yourself in the mirror. Treat others as you wish to be treated. Respect yourself, and don't allow others to take advantage of you. Be willing to go out of your way for someone special for nothing in return. When you are able to be at that point, you will find yourself with someone similar to you, and the two of you will experience the most incredible, lasting, healthy relationship you ever imagined.

The Romance and More website Romance, and Relationship Resources

The relationship enhancing, romance inspiring, intimacy bringing, bedroom shaking, thought provoking, truthfully speaking, tastefully sexy, yet delightfully wicked website for the hopeless romantic deep inside all of us.

What's the Key to Developing Successful Customer Relationships?

Develop and Strengthen Your Customer Satisfaction Through Relationships

What is the best way to develop relationships?

By spending time with those you want relationships with. Find out what is important to them. Discover what their goals, needs, and desires are. Keeping in touch with those that are important to us.

We can use this basic relationship premise in the world of our business relationships as well.

Your customers are not buying your product or service.... they are buying the relationship with you.

Let's use the example of health clubs. With health and fitness being so much more mainstream today than ever before, it is an absolute guarantee that customers want to be in an environment where they feel truly understood by those that are helping them.

Determine the goals of the goals of your customers. In the example of gyms, find out what is driving them to use you. Is it to reduce their blood pressure? To lose weight? To get in shape for summer? To increase their strength? By accurately understanding the reason why someone is using your services, then you can provide them with exactly what they are looking for.

Once you know what your customers is looking for, go out of your way to give it to them. In our health club example, provide them with the training necessary to achieve their goals. If their goal is to lose weight or reduce blood pressure, provide access to a nutritionist to make improvements in their diet combined with exercise. For those that are looking to increase fitness or increase strength, give them a training session to customize exercises tailored specifically for them.

Business relationships should continue long after the initial product or service has been purchased. We keep our personal relationships alive by seeing each other, calling and writing each other. Carry this through in your customer relationships. Ask your health club members how they are doing in the achievement of their goals. Determine if they need more or different services. Ask them what they like about your services and if they would like to see anything changed.

Keeping relationships open and honest will bring fulfillment in our personal lives, and profitable in our professional lives. By forming genuine relationships with your customers, they will feel valued by you and be willing to continue to spend their money with you over your competitors that don't appreciate them.

And now I would like to send you my free audio download of my recent teleseminar "Promoting Customer Service in Your Company". It will be sent to you by email when you visit http://www.CustomerCentricTraining.com

Discover WHY it is so important to Promote Customer Service and HOW your bottom line will benefit ...

Helping you focus on your customers- Kristina Evey

Be sure to check back to my site for the latest blog posts, products, and services relating to customer satisfaction and retention at http://www.KristinaEvey.com

7 Ways To Improve Your Relationship

Good relationships don't just happen. I've heard many of my clients state that, "If I have to work at it, then it's not the right relationship." This is not a true statement, any more than it's true that you don't have to work at good physical health through exercise, eating well, and stress reduction.

I've discovered, in the 35 years that I've been counseling couples, 7 choices you can make that will not only improve your relationship, but can turn a failing relationship into a successful one.

TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOURSELF

This is the most important choice you can make to improve your relationship. This means that you learn how to take responsibility for your own feelings and needs. This means that instead of trying to get your partner to make you feel happy and secure, you learn how to do this for yourself through your own thoughts and actions. This means learning to treat yourself with kindness, caring, compassion, and acceptance instead of self-judgment. Self-judgment will always make you feel unhappy and insecure, no matter how wonderfully your partner is treating you.

For example, instead of getting angry at your partner for your feelings of abandonment when he or she is late, preoccupied and not listening to you, not turned on sexually, and so on, you would explore your own feelings of abandonment and discover how you might be abandoning yourself.

When you learn how to take full, 100% responsibility for yourself, then you stop blaming your partner for your upsets. Since blaming one's partner for one's own unhappiness is the number one cause of relationship problems, learning how to take loving care of yourself is vital to a good relationship.

KINDNESS, COMPASSION, ACCEPTANCE

Treat others the way you want to be treated. This is the essence of a truly spiritual life. We all yearn to be treated lovingly - with kindness, compassion, understanding, and acceptance. We need to treat ourselves this way, and we need to treat our partner and others this way. Relationships flourish when both people treat each other with kindness. While there are no guarantees, often treating another with kindness brings kindness in return. If your partner is consistently angry, judgmental, uncaring and unkind, then you need to focus on what would be loving to yourself rather than reverting to anger, blame, judgment, withdrawal, resistance, or compliance. Kindness to others does not mean sacrificing yourself. Always remember that taking responsibility for yourself rather than blaming others is the most important thing you can do. If you are consistently kind to yourself and your partner, and your partner is consistently angry, blaming, withdrawn and unavailable, then you either have to accept a distant relationship, or you need to leave the relationship. You cannot make your partner change - you can only change yourself.

LEARNING INSTEAD OF CONTROLLING

When conflict occurs, you always have two choices regarding how to handle the conflict: you can open to learning about yourself and your partner and discover the deeper issues of the conflict, or you can try to win, or at least not lose, through some form of controlling behavior. We've all learning many overt and subtle ways of trying to control others into behaving the way we want: anger, blame, judgment, niceness, compliance, caretaking, resistance, withdrawal of love, explaining, teaching, defending, lying, denying, and so on. All the ways we try to control create even more conflict. Remembering to learn instead of control is a vital part of improving your relationship.

For example, most people have two major fears that become activated in relationships: the fear of abandonment - of losing the other - and the fear of engulfment - of losing oneself. When these fears get activated, most people immediately protect themselves against these fears with their controlling behavior. But if you chose to learn about your fears instead of attempt to control your partner, your fear would eventually heal. This is how we grow emotionally and spiritually - by learning instead of controlling.

CREATE DATE TIMES

When people first fall in love, they make time for each other. Then, especially after getting married, they get busy. Relationships need time to thrive. It is vitally important to set aside specific times to be together - to talk, play, make love. Intimacy cannot be maintained without time together.

GRATITUDE INSTEAD OF COMPLAINTS

Positive energy flows between two people when there is an "attitude of gratitude." Constant complaints creates a heavy, negative energy, which is not fun to be around. Practice being grateful for what you have rather than focusing on what you don't have. Complaints create stress, while gratitude creates inner peace, so gratitude creates not only emotional and relationship health, but physical health as well.

FUN AND PLAY

We all know that "work without play makes Jack a dull boy." Work without play makes for dull relationships as well. Relationships flourish when people laugh together, play together, and when humor is a part of everyday life. Stop taking everything so seriously and learn to see the funny side of life. Intimacy flourishes when there is lightness of being, not when everything is heavy.

SERVICE

A wonderful way of creating intimacy is to do service projects together. Giving to others fills the heart and creates deep satisfaction in the soul. Doing service moves you out of yourself and your own problems and supports a broader, more spiritual view of life.

If you and your partner agree to these 7 choices, you will be amazed at the improvement in your relationship!

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?" She is the co-creator of a powerful healing process called Inner Bonding. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone sessions available.

A Conscious Union - The Ultimate Relationship

In the past year I have endlessly blogged and chatted to radio hosts about the intricacies of intimate relationships from communication styles to self observation, with unending awe as I explore the certain mysteries of love and how it affects us all. There are heaps of experts and books out there written by amazing people way more qualified than me about the psychology and technical workings of relationships, but it is my calling to offer you help in this wonderland of life, so it got me wondering, just what is a Conscious Union?

What has been emerging, as Conscious Union earns her place in the "New Earth" jigsaw, is a honing and fine tuning of ingredients that go to make up a conscious relationship and how it is the closest thing to "happily ever after" that we will ever see within our existing DNA structure!

So let me take you on a journey around a conscious relationship. If you are in one already then I don my hat to you and say well done...you are helping to pioneer the new relationship paradigm for future generations who understand the meaning of authentic love. If you are in a relationship but wonder if it sizes up then read on. If you are single, this will give you the goal posts within which to aim high for your next relationship!

The recipe:

1) Two fully committed people who are willing to help each other heal and grow from the past.

Human beings are a complex set of cells with a huge range of needs and wants, even though some of us don't say! From birth it is a near impossible task for any parent to meet the needs of their child 24/7 and to ensure their protection and safety from life, hence at some stage our childhood would have experienced a good few negative situations that may have become ingrained in our psyche and can stunt our childhood growth on the spot. Along comes our intimate relationships later in life which are fertile ground for healing from these ingrained experiences. But in order to heal, the wound needs to show itself and nothing quite like this kind of relationship, fires our need to look at these pain spots and allow them to surface and clear. Many people through lack of understanding of this occurring dynamic will assume that experiencing this kind of pain means "oh no my relationship is on the rocks" or "he/she is so not right for me" when in fact your partner is your directional arrow to what you need to look at together. This is the key ingredient in conscious love. It takes time, oodles of patience, compassion and willingness to stay open to whatever comes each day.

2) Two people who encourage full authenticity to be re-born in each other.

Love and approval is the human blueprint for life but from birth to now many of us lose the essence of our original nature by doing what we feel we need to do to be loved. Love and safety are life saving as children, without them the feeling is one of death and the motivating emotions that keep us as far away as possible from this fear, keep us chained in a symbiotic dance between trying to be loved and our drive to be authentic. Imago call our adolescent self the "fragmented" self because we have evolved disowning and denying parts of our full humanness in order to be approved of. Children see their parents as role models for life and no matter how "wounded" our parents and their parents before them, we believe that to not express anger or to "be seen and heard" etc. is the right way to be and so we endlessly try to be good little beings and then we'll be loved..right?! Sadly not, but like mice on a wheel we are programmed to press the "please love me" button over and again. Deep down however in the engine room of our being is the constant reminder, as Grace nudges us, that we are here to be authentic. Our relationships are a fertile ground for re-entry into authenticity. Conscious relationships positively encourage it! How? Well we must provide the safety and comfort for each other at all times to allow the emergence of wholeness. It takes a lot of time, encouragement and commitment..have you got what it takes?

3) Two people who are self aware and willing to take responsibility for every action and input into the relationship.

Sadly many people have the unconscious view that everything their partner does is either right or wrong and the focus is outside of themselves. They transmit feelings and emotions adhoc without due care of the relationship with a one way focus. When all is going great it's easy but when conflict strikes all hell often breaks loose as the victim and perpetrator archetypes play out their next scene. "She is never interested in sex not matter what I do....he never listens to me and never bothers to understand my point of view" There are many war crys but a war has two sides and one can't war if the other isn't engaged. A conscious relationship always asks "what am I doing to create this situation and what can I do to help it get better?" Blaming and shaming is like an 80's haircut...it's old and outmoded! Self awareness for me IS consciousness. We are constantly aware of the world around us but we randomly select what we do and don't put our awareness on. I see people in their twilight years who have never chosen self awareness and everyone around them is either too scared to tell them what they need to look at or are worn out from trying. A sad situation and like a diseased cell in the human body! Be self aware...it's a revelation and a miracle all at once. Someone once said to me "the journey of yourself is the most rewarding one you will ever take", so why spend all the time looking out the window?

4) Two people willing to change unhelpful behaviours.

All of our relationships are our mirrors. The way people react to us is a huge directional arrow to where we are at with our behaviour. If we act like a badly behaved child and speak in venomous tones to people then what are we expecting? My mum always says, "put yourself in the other person's shoes and imagine how you would feel". Ancient but sound advice. In your relationship you do need to understand and get a grip of bad behaviour. Change is required. It's common sense really, otherwise your relationship suffers constant erosion. My father was compelled to behave badly in his marriage to mum and the effects are a book load of sad stories. So unnecessary.

5) Two people who use kind communication verbally and physically and who can navigate the waters of conflict with ease.

Communication is the life blood of every relationship, period! It is absolutely possible to become authentic and say what you really need to say with kind words and body language. The problems start when people are triggered during an argument and often at lightning speed and reacting badly has become the pattern. It's here that full reigns on how we act must be deployed. I was a fine one for shooting my mouth off if I was pissed off with my partner but reacting with bad words and behaviour is so much harder work! More common sense really! I teach the Intentional Dialogue tool as a great way to find a calm platform for conscious communication.

6) Two people who are educated about relationship dynamics.

Do you know about the distinct phases of a relationship and what's happening in your body during the honeymoon and conflict stages? Are you aware that you choose partners who are designed to bring up your stuff so you can look at it from the past? What conflict style do you take and how does that affect your partner? Are you aware of your relationship space? These and many more things are the important resources of information that must be read and digested in your conscious relationship library. This information was instrumental in my own awakening. Never before had I understood that I knew so little about what goes on in relationships and by just by being in one didn't give me the insight. This forms the essence of my work with couples and singles who seek conscious relationships.

7) Two people who strive to maintain connection through all relationship weathers.

We can all do a great relationships when its' going well but bad emotional weather will strike at sometime in everyone's lives because life is always happening as we walk our path together. Life is designed to ebb and flow with the cycles of the Universe and a conscious relationship knows that when things ebb, relationship connection is paramount. It is easy to let life sweep us apart and to be too busy to talk or spend quality time together, but the velvet nature of connection is an elixir. Yes it takes effort but next time you feel like ignoring the relationship because you are too shattered to speak...take a moment to do something appreciative...even if it's a little note or an "I love you". Connection is the foundation of a healthy relationship.

8) Two people who are dedicated to allowing the otherness in each other with freedom to grow separately and together.

Unconscious relationships control and dominate. Conscious relationships know that each person was born separate and "other" and their ultimate goal is to be separately connected not symbiotically connected. Need prevents freedom. Love encourages freedom. But here's where we come unstuck at this stage in our conscious awakening. I believe intimate relationships are still conditional to hugely varying degrees and so freedom varies accordingly. Allowing freedom to "be and become" is a sore spot for many because there is so much fear about losing love once we are in love. We plant labels like "my girlfriend, my husband" etc. which suggests ownership of the other. Unconscious rules start to develop about what each person should do or not to do in the relationship and a stifle can begin to develop. This part of the conscious relationship recipe, I think, is the toughest, but with tender loving care blended with all of the above we can and will get there!

9) Two people who housekeep their relationship space regularly and are vigilant about nurturing it's quality.

Hedy Schliefer always refers to the relational space between a couple and helps them focus on it as the barometer for relationship health. Like a walled garden of Eden, where the children and the animals live, it's space and quality and energy are critical to the health of a conscious couple. We communicate largely with energy. Have you ever walked into a room and could cut the atmosphere with a knife? Energy always speaks the truth but often underlies the words and actions in a relationship. The conscious couple strives to maintain a peaceful and happy relationship space so the energetic truth matches the spoken words.

10) Two people who know that it is what they give to the relationship rather than what they take from it, that helps them heal and grow.

Healing and growth, as I mentioned earlier, is a game for two. You can do all the self development you like but your intimate relationship will trawl up all your unhealed fears, worries and pain from the past. It is designed to do this! Conscious relationships know that it is their job to help the other heal and grow not to take what "I need". This sets up a beautiful cycle of mutual giving and nurturing which dispels any need to "get my needs met". Trust me it works...I am living proof. What I have with my beloved is a fertile ground of healing and growth every day.

So there you have it. The essential ingredients for a Conscious Union. The only way to love and be loved in these changing times. Open your eyes and look back down the road that you have come from and know that you are fully deserving every day to have a conscious relationship. No matter who you are or what you have experienced you have what it takes to create one. With a dash of self awareness and a tablespoon of willingness to change what needs to be changed, you too can learn to love authentically.

Blessings and love

I am a relationship educator and motivational speaker on the subject of love and a qualified Unity Hatha Yoga teacher specialising in partner yoga, teaching couples how to re-connect through the very powerful use of non-verbal dialogue. I am also a natural therapist offering spiritual guidance and healing tools as a way to discovering the true self and healing from the past. I am not a counsellor or psychologist but I would say, an expert in falling in love and getting hurt. I have a 25 year portfolio of experience in love relationships, which I often fondly reflect on and am now the proud owner of. I don't have any major sob stories to tell you, but it is true that I have allowed my heart to take a beating a few times. I wanted to know why I was so strongly attracted to the "wrong" men that were non-committal and dangerous for the female heart. During a trip to India in 2007, someone said to me "You must become the person you want to attract Gina". It was a revelation. I set about self education and reading all the books I could get my hands on about love and why we do the things we do. The result? It is ALL about me and what we give out we get back. Seems so simple but how many of us REALLY know what to do about it?

Web http://www.consciousunion.co.uk Blog http://www.ginahardy.blogspot.com