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2012年7月31日 星期二

Cornerstone For a Relationship


More than once I've been asked what qualities I look for in any woman when I entertain thoughts of a relationship involving deep love.

Love is a communication code. Love is a two way street of communication. Love is to feel affection for someone, to hold dear, to cherish. Love is devotion, feelings, passion, and tenderness. It is to feel reverent adoration.

No male should ever wait until after the marriage vows to begin the two-way communication that should have been ongoing during the dating and engagement period.

Every male should have a check list of qualities he likes and qualities he does not like; a check list that he and his potential love discuss in detail early in any and every relationship.

From the beginning both parties must make it clear what each likes, dislikes, expects...and what each will not tolerate. Both must have a clear understanding that neither will ever tolerate abuse of "any" type of abuse or dishonesty or gambling. These should always be positive no nos.

It's very important that both individuals feel that they have the desire to form a partnership and always be a team as they share and work hard together as partners to achieve joint goals.

It is a lucky man who finds a true loving woman and it is a lucky woman that finds a true loving man. Any human that can capture this luck should cherish life and thank God.

But this gift is seldom achieved by luck alone. I feel that a lasting love is far more than sexual desires and enjoying just the physical beauty of a female. Therefore every one must carefully look for genuine elements of a lasting love.

Yes, I strongly feel that a well matched man and woman team can actually learn to love each other more and more through the years as they enjoy their marriage as a business deal and partnership with objectives and goals; which they carefully and energetically worked together on as partners to achieve.

If a man and a woman are most likely to succeed in a long-term relationship they both will desire a 50/50 partnership...in everything. They will respect each other so much that they will work hard to adjust to daily disagreements through two way communications; and there will be many daily misunderstandings to discuss.

Men have for ever written, "Love makes the world turn." I've have forever known that a pretty body makes my head turn and my heart beat fast and my mind think "love".

Oh yes, I am turned on by most physically beautiful women. I feel every healthy male is. However, males must be careful and realize that the hidden beauty or character is more important. I can easily find a beautiful one-night-stand if sex is all that I desire. This is definitely not a relationship.

Too often men find out too late that sexual satisfaction is not the same as a relationship.

Many females have the physical looks that can capture the mind and heart of most males just as many women also possess the hidden and unadvertised qualities that are needed to satisfy a lasting relationship of true love. This is the difficult area for most males to understand and make wise decisions.

I enjoy Van Dyke's poem, "Love in a Look" (in public domain).

Let me but feel thy look's embrace,

Transparent, pure, and warm,

And I'll not ask to touch thy face,

Or fold thee with mine arm.

For in thine eyes a girl doth rise,

Arrayed in candid bliss,

And draws me to her with a charm

More close than any kiss.

A loving-cup of golden wine,

Songs of a silver brook,

And fragrant breaths of eglantine,

Are mingled in thy look.

More fair they are than any star,

Thy topaz eyes divine --

And deep within their trysting-nook

Thy spirit blends with mine.

I feel love for many reasons, but it's easier when I feel the other person honestly feels love for me too. It's like the many reasons that I and others think beauty is far deeper than just the beautiful physical looks.

It's often difficult for individuals to realize that a worthwhile relationship is entirely different than a mere friendship or sexual encounter. A relationship is not a one-night or one-month stand. It can be very beautiful or it can result in a nightmare of unnecessary discomfort, misery, and hate.

A relationship can lead to marriage, which can be a true blessing or a true nightmare. A nightmare can result in a divorce. This can result in one party legally taking the other party to the cleaners for pure preplanned advantages. This can result in one party being legally obligated for many expensive years.

Cleanliness is next to beauty. I don't expect a woman to wash the bar of soap after she showers, but showering daily with soap is an expectation. A female needs to smell fresh every minute of the day and night. Few things are as repulsive as smelling sour makeup on a woman's face night or day or being exposed to other displeasing body or clothing odors any day or night of the month.

It's seldom by accident when a woman has beautiful skin. Likely her mother taught her, as many mothers teach their daughters, not to wear makeup, because it damages the pores of the skin. Of course it's a time consuming routine to take the time every evening to wash the face vigorously and apply a face lotion to protect your skin.

If skin is properly cared for in younger years most women of any age will find that all they need will be lip stick and face lotion. Then she will often hear, "Oh, your skin is like that of a baby."

Of course it takes extra time to achieve these goals, but it's worth it. The body and clothes need to always express a fresh fragrance. Hair should always be shinny-clean and well kept. Teeth should be clean and sparkle and shoes should be polished and in good repair.

To me it's wonderful to be around a woman that has confidence and is purely natural and has no need for put-on actions, talk, or dress. It adds to her beauty as she allows her hair to change shades with age without feeling a need for dyes and wild styles. Graceful aging is true natural beauty.

A confident woman has attained a sound education and can easily hold a conversation with anyone on any subject. A confident well-groomed woman frequently captures the center of attention where ever she goes. She accomplishes this with out showing-off in any way to attract attention. She doesn't need to seek attention as her shoe heels click on the pavement or floor like horse shoes. She speaks softly and finds no need to be loud. Her table manners are emasculate and others are proud to sit next to her.

She has a knack for always setting a fine example. She attempts to be considerate of the feelings of others as she politely offers advice and assistance without being pushy.

There is no doubt with anyone that this woman always sets the proper example for her children and others. She raises her children with necessary discipline and teaches them to respect others day and night

.

A worthwhile woman is genuinely concerned about her own health and the health of her family. She tries hard to teach her children the importance of adequate rest and proper healthy food.

A worthwhile woman has integrity. She is totally honest with herself, mate, children and friends. She understands that she has the responsibility to teach her children the importance of honesty. She is generous with time and material wealth, yet always looks for ways to save money and time.

This woman gains respect from her mate as she shows respect for her mate.

Every male deserves a worthwhile relationship and mate. Males must learn to be strict with themselves as they deal with females at any time, especially when considering entering into a relationship. Every relationship needs to be built on and participated in based on proven fundamentals of successful businesses.

Relationships and marriage must be considered a business; a partnership with agreed on objectives and goals.




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7 Secret Relationship Dating Techniques on How to Improve Your Relationship


Here you will find 7 powerful relationship dating techniques any person can use to improve his/her relationship. People in supportive, loving relationships are more likely to feel healthier, happier and satisfied with their lives and less likely to have mental or physical health problems.

Most people want to have a stable long-term relationship but the statistics show that it is difficult to achieve.One in three first marriages ends in divorce as do two in three second marriages. Recovery from a marital/relationship breakdown is usually slow.

1. Be a better listener;

Being a better listener in any relationship will greatly improve that relationship be it partnership, friendship or married couples. Most couples have problems and even break ups or divorce just because they hardly listen to each other. Truly listen from your heart without blame or being judgmental.

2. Asking the right Questions;

Asking questions will show the speaker that you have been following up. Ask meaningful and empowering questions. Do not seek to probe or make the other person defensive. Rather, aim to use questions as a means by which the speaker can begin to reach his or her own conclusions about the concerns or issues being raised.

3. Body Language;

Master your body language. Your partner will subconsciously pick up on your subtle signals through your body language. Positioning yourself during a discussion like trying to be in a relaxed position. Face the speaker. Be aware of other nonverbal signs like, leaning forward when it is necessary, head nodding, smiling.

4. Be a lady/Gentleman by Keeping to your Promises;

If you promise to arrive at a certain time, ensure that you are indeed on time. If you promise to do something, likewise, ensure that you follow through and do it. It is imperative that you keep your promises. Your partner must learn to trust you. Trust is formed in tiny ways: keeping a date, being honest, doing what you say you will do.

5. Center Of Attention;

Your partner must feel like the center of the universe. Focus all of your attention upon him/her. Every person loves to feel special but this is so much more than that, this is making him /her feel your every thought is centered around her. Make your partner know, while you are with him/her, no one else is as important.

6. When leaving for a private mission alone always leave with a Lasting Impressions;

You must have such an impact on your partner that he/she cannot help but remember you and think of you when you are not around. Leave with an impression so he or she will be wanting to spend more time in your presence. In short, you must be a vivifying breathe of fresh air in the relationship.

7. The power of Senses;

Making an impact upon each one of his or her senses. Wear an appealing fragrance, dress smartly and distinctly, talk to your partner with a nice tone of voice, hold his /her hand with care as if it were a priceless piece of porcelain.

If you follow these 7 relationship dating techniques, not only will you find it possible having a supportive, loving relationships, you will likely to feel healthier, happier and satisfied with your life and less likely to have mental or physical health problems.




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2012年7月30日 星期一

How to Enjoy Stress Free Relationships


Until you have released the need for judgment, you will

always have it reflected back to you in your relationships.

This is one of the main causes of stress.

All too often we assume that we know what others mean

by what they say or do without bothering to gain a clear

understanding of what's really going on. This inevitably

leads to a breakdown in communication and conflict.

The biggest secret to stress free relationships is to master

the skill of being agreeable!

If you think about it just for a moment this makes a lot of

sense. How did you feel the last time someone disagreed with

what you though, said or did? Did you thank them, give them

a big hug and then ask for more disapproval? Probably not!

The bottom line is that people don't like being disagreed

with. This is what leads to arguments and conflict.

You have a choice every time you relate with another person.

You can either be agreeable in nature and in communication

or you can be disagreeable.

The first choice will cause people to be more relaxed and

enjoy your company. The second creates stress and frustration.

It costs nothing to agree with someone else's point of view

even if you think it's ridiculous. Who are we to judge how

another person views their life and the world around them.

Conflict always arises from disagreement's which then leads

to power struggles.

This means that either one or all parties are trying to prove

that they are right and someone else is wrong. This is a no win

scenario because if one person is made wrong, then the outcome

is tension and resentment.

So what do you do if you disagree with what someone is

saying? Ask if it's ok to share your opinion. If the answer

is no, then to keep your relationships stress free keep your

mouth zipped tight. Changes topics if you need to or go do

something fun together but let it go and move on.

The next secret to stress free relationships is to master

the skill of understanding.

The key here is to learn to be a good listener. Can you

remember a time recently when you were talking with someone

and they either interrupted you before you finished talking

and started talking about themselves or completely ignored

what you said and talked about something totally unrelated?

I know that's happened to me thousands of times. Well guess

what, if you didn't like it I can guarantee you that others

won't like it if you do it to them.

By listening attentively to what others say and not

interrupting you will prevent the possibility of causing

stress and tension in your relationships because the people

you are communicating with will feel seen and heard.

This builds trust and respect which are two of the most important

ingredients of a happy, healthy and productive relationship.

Here are 4 keys to master the skill of understanding...

1. Don't interrupt unless you have something urgent to

attend to. Then excuse yourself politely and make a time to

meet with them that you can give your undivided attention.

2. Look them in the eye and keep your body language open

3. Only ask questions that are relevant to the topic. This

lets the person who is talking know that you are really

listening to them.

4. Never assume you know what someone means, always ask for

clarity before sharing you're opinion. Don't be afraid to

keep asking questions until you are 100% sure about what is

being said.

The only time to try and get others to understand you is

after you have understood them. Then they are more receptive

to what you have to say. This skill is one of the most

important in building good bonds between people that are

stress free. There is nothing more powerful than letting

others know that they matter.

Happy, healthy and stress free relationships are no

accident. They are skillfully developed over time by people

who care about people. These secrets will only work if you

apply them.

The more you apply them, the less stress you'll have in relationships.

I know this for a fact because they have been working for me for

more than 15 years.

To Your Great Life and Health

Michael Atma




Michael Atma is an internationally known author, speaker & success coach. Known as the person to talk to when you're ready to enjoy massive results, Michael offers simple yet proven strategies to improve the quality of your life in just minutes. Michael's writing comes straight from the front line of good health and successful living

Exactly how are some people learning to take charge of their life in just minutes? Michael Atma has created the ultimate guide - '101 Strategies for a Stress Free Life!' FREE Details: http://www.theultimaterelaxation.com Get Michael's popular bi-monthly ezine for Great Life and Health Tips at: http://www.greatlifeandhealth.com/newsletter/index.html




Healthy Relationships: The Ultimate Supplement?


We are all concerned with taking good care of ourselves, eating healthy and choosing vitamins and supplements that do our body good. We will spend extra money on organic foods and maybe even go out of our way to make fresh meals for our families. But there is a something that we forget to take into consideration regarding our health.

It's our relationships. Humans are highly social. We're not designed to be solitary or live in isolation. In fact, our society considers solitary confinement as the ultimate punishment. But we forget just how important our relationships are. Our connection to others can stimulate our brains. When we interact with others it gives us a feeling of belonging, and this is vital for good mental health. When we have the opportunity to express ourselves to others and be able to hear other viewpoints in regards to a variety of circumstances, we are able to raise our consciousness to a higher level. Not only is this how we learn, but it also gives way to spiritual growth.

Studies have shown that those who are mentally healthy have solid meaningful relationships and a strong support group that they interact with on a regular basis. I hope you have noticed that I have mentioned healthy relationships in this article. I am not talking about controlling, manipulative, domineering, or abusive relationships. These are toxic and raise big red flags regarding your mental health. I am talking about healthy and supportive relationships that are positive and stable. There are ways to start making new friends and begin socializing with the right type of people by volunteering, joining a club, or getting involved in your local community.

Remember, it takes a little time to nurture and build relationships, so be patient and learn to be open to new people. You can reconnect with good friends that you may have lost touch with by reaching out over the phone, or sending an e-mail.

Let's not forget the power of our furry friends. Pets have long been known to aid in the longevity of good health with their endless supply of unconditional love. Animals can give us a feeling of importance and take our focus off of problems for a while. They help us lighten up and release stress.

So, the next time you are looking for that magic vitamin, take a friend out to lunch or play catch with your pet, it will do a body good.




Marla Sloane, Ph.D., is the author of The Masks We Wear and How to Live Without Them," which is the topic of her teleclasses; From Ordinary to Extraordinary...Unmask Your Potential. The seminars teaches individuals how to stay balanced; emotionally and spiritually. She is a noted expert providing phone counseling sessions and has written numerous articles about releasing stress, how to find your authentic self, and the importance of living in your truth. Her Positive Affirmations subscribers have reached world-wide proportions, and Marla has also produced, Trilogy of Meditations, for your Mind, Body, and Spirit: helping you reduce stress and obtain inner peace. The CDs are distributed nationwide, and in Europe.

You can visit her web site at: http://www.marlasloane.com
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How Your Old Relationship Baggage Affects You


They were sitting at the dining room table when he told her that he had fallen in love with another woman and wanted a divorce.? It shattered her world.? She never had a clue.? They divorced and divided their property.? One of her favorite things she got to keep was the dining room table.? Years go by and she says to this day, she'll be having a dinner party in her home and not twenty minutes into the meal, she gets physically sick.? She knows it's the table that is making her sick but she doesn't want to get rid of it because "its an expensive table".?? It certainly is.? Just look at what it's costing her.

If there is something in your home from a past relationship that bothers you, eventually it will compromise your health.? Especially if the relationship was very negative or it ended in a negative way such as hers did.? Our mental health affects our physical health so it's a good idea to take a good look at all of your stuff and see if there is anything that brings up negative memories or emotions.? What about the "bling-bling" from an old relationship??? Expensive jewelry rarely has a high resale value so women don't tend to sell it when their relationship is over.? It just sits in the jewelry box, bothering them. Even if you have it reset to look different, you know it's associated with an old relationship.?

The best thing to do when you end a relationship is to clean the slate as much as possible.? Get rid of all the things that you associate with that relationship.? You can sell the items in a yard sale, on the internet, or donate them to a charity to help people.? If you have been disappointed by several relationships that did not work out, you may have doubt about ever finding a compatible mate.?? It is much easier to keep a positive attitude about the possibility of a new lasting relationship if you don't have old relationship baggage in your home consciously or subconsciously reminding you "my relationships don't last".?? Also, getting rid of old relationship baggage will help you psychologically make room for a new love.?




Robyn Bentley is a feng shui consultant and author of Creating A Haven: Simple Steps For A Healthy And Nurturing Home. Her feng shui has been featured in the Wall Street Journal, Canadian Living, First For Women, and Nirvana Woman. She offers feng shui consultations for homes and businesses both on site and long distance and can be reached through her web site www.fengshuidiva.com




2012年7月29日 星期日

How to Find and Create Meaningful Relationships


Relationships are a hot topic. Turn on the television, surf the Net or walk into any bookstore and you'll be instantly overwhelmed with the latest news on who's dating who and how to find your very own Mr. Right. It's not coincidental that so much of our popular culture and dinner conversations revolve around relationships and sex.

We all need relationships in one way or another, and when they are handled well, we have the opportunity to enjoy life, have more passion, and feel secure. Unfortunately, people increasingly have less and less connection with each other. I often find, working as a health and lifestyle coach, that many of my clients feel alone. The Washington Post recently reported that a quarter of Americans say they have no one with whom they can discuss personal troubles, more than double the number who were similarly isolated in 1985.

What about you -- are you happy and feeling supported, or are you someone who has a more intimate relationship with Lifetime Television than you do with other people? Whatever your current situation, you have to decide if you are truly happy. If you're content with your relationships, congratulations. For those of you who aren't, the following steps will have you well on the way to creating fulfilling, long-lasting relationships, whether they be romantic or platonic.

10 Steps to Creating Great Relationships

Step 1: Accept your current situation

Wherever you are is OK. If you are single and sexual and loving it, great. If you prefer to be in a relationship, perfect. The first step towards change is to acknowledge your current situation, appreciate what you do have now, and then work toward having more of what you truly desire. You can't change the past; you can only create a more enjoyable future, starting now.

Step 2: Create a positive outlook

One of my clients recently told me, "All men suck." His outlook has definitely been limiting his dating potential. If you think, "I'll never find anybody," then you probably never will. Focusing on negatives will not give you the energy to make it happen. As often as you can, turn your focus to what's possible and trust that it will work out.

Step 3: Understand why you want a relationship

Are you genuinely interested in finding someone because you want to enjoy your life more? Or are you just feeling lonely and assume that when you meet someone your life will miraculously be better? A needy person is unattractive to others. You might as well put a sign on your head that says, "Date me, I'm lonely." Relationships are meant to complement and enhance your life. But if you're looking for someone else to fill empty holes within you, you're destined to end up disappointed (see step 7).

Step 4: Identify the qualities of your ideal partner

Do this exercise: Take out a blank sheet of paper. This may seem a bit like a grade-school exercise, but in my experience it really does work. List the must-have qualities of your ideal partner or friend. Write down anything you can think of, from physical and emotional features to interests, hobbies or even spiritual beliefs. Once you have this, you'll be able to tell more easily if someone you meet fits your profile. (P.S. You may not want to pull out the checklist during the date.) Also, you can't make someone be what you want him to be. Be realistic: You can't fit a square peg into a round hole.

Step 5: Build those qualities within yourself

Big secret -- like attracts like. If you want to attract a person with your list of must-haves, you need to build more of those qualities within yourself. What we give out comes back to us. If you want to find someone who's honest, it's important that you be more honest. How can you expect someone to give you what you aren't giving to yourself? Also, you can't be anyone but you. Oftentimes we try to be what we think the other person wants, so he will like us more. However, he meets the real you eventually, so you might as well be yourself the first time you meet. Self-esteem and confidence are attractive. If you aren't happy with you, no one else will be either.

Step 6: Create your action plan

Where would your ideal partner or new friend hang out? What are his or her hobbies and interests? Who do you know who may know him? You have to get out there and spend time in the places where you're more likely to meet your ideal companions. If you want people who are interested in the arts, you'd probably find them at a gallery opening or at the theatre. If you are into the outdoors, you may consider joining an LGBT outdoor group. Research events and groups in your area, get their activity calendars and make time each month, if not each week, to attend an event. Also, spend time with current friends; ask them to introduce you to people. Take action, and don't be afraid to say hello to a stranger. What's the worst that could happen?

Step 7: Take care of yourself

Every area of your life affects the others. Your relationships affect your health and happiness; your diet affects your energy level and mood; exercise improves your self-esteem. In my private practice, I support people to improve all areas of their life. Your body and emotions are interconnected. If you eat well and take care of yourself mentally and physically, you have more energy and confidence to get out there and date. If you sit at home each night, face buried in a pint of ice cream, you probably won't be as successful in your dating quest.

Step 8: Don't have expectations

The easiest way to be disappointed is to build up expectations when you meet someone, or project the future before you even know him. Trust the process and go with the flow, relationships take time. You can't pack up the car and move in on the first date.

Step 9: Learn from the past

Someone once told me a definition for the word "insanity" is doing the same thing over and over but expecting different results. You have to reflect on what is and isn't working, both currently and in your past relationships. There really are no such things as "mistakes"; they are merely opportunities to do even better the next time around. So learn from them, and make different choices in the future.

Step 10: Get support

Share with your friends, talk about your goals, vent about your concerns. Take a class, work with a coach, keep learning and improving. We are all in this together. As one of my mentors once said, "My happiness is your happiness and your happiness is my happiness." We all deserve to be happy.




Robert Notter is a board-certified health and lifestyle coach. Based in New York City, he works with clients all over the world in person and by phone. His practice is focused on helping gay men reduce their stress, have more energy, create happier relationships, and feel better in their bodies.

You can learn more about his work, including private consultations and free monthly tele-seminars, on his website: http://www.MenSeekingMore.com

Sign up for his newsletter on the site, and receive a free stress reduction class.




5 Ways to Build Strong Relationships - Empower Your Partner


You cannot build a strong house with weak bricks; nor can you build a strong relationship by tearing down your partner. Relationships are opportunities to learn about ourselves by learning about others; even though they are so often used to make one person feel good at the expense of another. The key to building a strong, healthy relationship is making the component parts as strong and healthy as possible. Empower your relationship by empowering your partner. Here are five-ways you can strengthen your relationship by building-up your partner.

1. Support and Encourage Your Partner. Don't put fear and doubt between them and their dreams and aspirations; empower them with positive words and thoughts - have faith in their vision.

2. Build Your Partner up. Don't tear your partner down with negativity; and don't belittle them. Build your partner's confidence and self-esteem.

3. Praise and Compliment Your Partner. If you can't find something nice to say, you probably shouldn't burden another human with your presence. Open your eyes, open your heart, open your mind, and open your mouth and say something genuine, sincere, and nice.

4. Be Nice and Kind to Your Partner. All living things deserve kindness; yet so many people withhold this common courtesy from those dearest to them. Be nice and kind for your partner, and for yourself; the benefits to your health, life, and relationship are tremendous.

5. Love and Appreciate Your Partner. It may seem obvious, but if you're in a relationship, you should love and appreciate the person who has devoted their time to being with you. You should find things about them to appreciate; and you should learn to love unconditionally. This is a gift and an opportunity - not a requirement.

If you learn to do these five-things, you will help your partner grow and flourish; you'll help them bloom into a fuller version of their "old self." If you don't, you will simply become more and more miserable and/or withdrawn from your relationship and your life. You owe it to yourself and your partner to learn how to build and strengthen your relationship. It's easier than you might think, and the rewards are more than worth the effort.




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Pete Koerner is the author of The Belief Formula: The Secret to Unlocking the Power of Prayer. The Belief Formula is a look at how you can use ancient wisdom and modern scientific awareness to learn how to use your mind to reclaim your health and create the life of your dreams.

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Sacrificing Your Happiness in Relationships - Is it Worth It?


Being in a relationship is not a piece of cake. Investing your time, heart and soul is a special thing to give another person. When you first get together it is the best feeling in the world. You think that you could never love anyone else. Enjoying each others company, not wanting to be without each other for one minute, getting treated like you're the only one in the world that is needed in their life and the sex is phenomenal!

Years go by and it's still good. You have kids and the relationship changes, not in a bad way, but the time between you two becomes shorten. You begin to mature a little more and realize that it's not just the two of you, you're not just a couple anymore you are now a family.

Raising kids is not all it is cracked up to be, but you handle it after all you have no other choice. Things between you two are off balance, you have to find the time for intimacy. The sex drive is on the low and so is your energy. Finally there's compromise, you discover opportunities to get that spark back that you once had. Life is great! Everything is as it should be in a family and then something goes wrong.

All of a sudden you argue over minor things and that spark is not even a spark anymore. You have sex whenever, you don't really care, but you still love each other.

What changes a relationship? Is it time or is it the individual in the involved in it? Love is suppose to last forever, but in reality that is not the case in certain situations. How do you hold on to love when your partner makes it so difficult?

You give your all and expect the same in return. Jealousy, infidelity and deceit are the three enemies of commitment. You dedicate yourself to what was build years earlier between you two, not because of just the love that is still present, but also the fact that you have to think about the children.

When you are not happy in a relationship is it worth sacrificing your happiness so that both parents are raising the children together? To me it's not. You see if you are not happy, how can you make somebody else happy? When you are happy you share your love openly, you love yourself, and you have peace of mind and appreciate what life has to offer. You finally see that you deserve the best and respect the fact that by no means should you ever have to suffer to be with another.

You have kids together, you still live with each other, but there's one problem. You just can't seem to agree on certain things anymore, the arguments become more frequent and things become so complicated that sleeping in separate rooms seems to be the temporary fix. Tension in the air and around the kids affects everything about a loving home. Whatever problems you are going through, there is always a solution. You have to decide what's right for you and try to avoid any conflicts. A relationship can destroy your self being, mental stability and health.

A commitment that is shared between two people is a bond like no other. There are two of you, but you eventually become as one. Love is a difficult emotion because you love that person for who they are the mistakes, heartaches, laughter and etc. If you are miserable try resolving the situation. Do what is necessary to make your heart and soul happy, no one deserves to be mistreated, neglected, abused, cheated on and betrayed. Love weakens when there's no hope and faith.

Negative attitude will get you negative results, avoiding what's happening is not going to get rid of the problem. I know it sucks, but that's life. You have to live, but you don't have to live with it. They always say to love is to be loved; I truly believe that if you care for yourself first you really don't need that emotion from the opposite sex. Remember love is earned pure and true, loving each other means respecting the bond, time, trustworthiness and dedication which builds relationships.




Lorna Darden
I wrote this article to inspire others that might be going through the same situations. Sexual health, health, relationships and more.

http://lornashealthtopics.blogspot.com




2012年7月28日 星期六

Christian Health - Spiritual Warfare and Chronic Illness


So you've just been diagnosed with a chronic condition or illness and you're not sure how to feel. Do you feel relieved that at least now you know what is "wrong" with you? Do you feel like someone just kicked you in the stomach because the doctor said you'll probably have to deal with this the rest of your life? Are you gripped with fear?

Or do you praise God for His unfathomable grace, mercy, love and peace that passes ALL understanding and thank Him for the chance to strengthen your relationship with your Lord and Savior? If you are like most people, you didn't pick praising God.

So starts the physical battle for our health and the spiritual warfare for our faith.

When we encounter something that takes away our perceived control we start to fear. Why? Because the evil one, Satan, stirs doubt in our minds and hearts that God is able to take care of us. We start to rely on someone or something else to "save us"; to cure what is wrong with us. Satan sets up a pseudo savior as the proverbial carrot that we run after because we feel SOMEONE needs to be in control of the situation; it sure isn't us and it doesn't appear as though God is or we wouldn't be sick.

We seek out medical professionals because with their knowledge and honed skills they must be able to take control of our health. But if one doctor fails us, there must be another or another. Sometimes we feel like a dog chasing it's tail. But, we conclude that if "professionals" can only manage our disease or condition then that must suffice us and we have to settle with their last word for our health. Nothing more can be done.

That's what some support groups are for; to ease the pain of relinquishing the hope of recovery, to help you adjust to your new normal.

Someone that has a chronic illness often feels like a victim, acts like a victim, thinks like a victim and prays like a victim. They feel as though their life has been taken away and they have no control. But, as Christians we need to remember that as humans we never had control in the first place. Our life is God's and we are in His hands. He created us and sustains us. As believers in Christ we need to also remember that we do not fight for victory; we fight from victory only because in Christ's power we are invincible!

When we end up on the medical-go-round, rushing around from doctor to doctor, from procedure to procedure we find ourselves being like Martha when Jesus came to visit; too busy and anxious to stop and listen. We hardly take time to sit at the feet of Jesus like Mary did to hear to what her Lord had to say. We're so busy praying and pleading with God for healing that we neglect to "listen" to what He has to say to us in His Word.

And what does God say? He tells us our battle is not of the flesh but is spiritual in nature, 2 Corinthians 10:3-5. As Christians we know we've won the spiritual battle because of our assurance of eternal life. But what we don't understand is that when Satan has us chasing around in circles for a human medical answer he is also distracting us from the truth and work God has for us.

Satan plants thoughts of doubt, anger, worry, self-reliance, discouragement and fear in us and those around us. He keeps us from concentrating on God and focused on ourselves and our problem. Satan is hell-bent on destroying our lives and our relationship with our Maker and Redeemer and with our family and friends. By keeping us busy with our own problems he keeps us from serving others and building God's kingdom.

The truth as told to us in the First chapter of Joshua is that if we immerse ourselves in God's Word and Truth that success will be ours through Him. We are told not to stray from the Truth of His Word. Matthew 6:33 says that we are to seek God's kingdom and righteousness first and we will receive everything we need. I John 5:4-5 states that whatever is born of God overcomes the world and the victory is through our faith.

In Ephesians 6 God tells us to put on the FULL ARMOR of GOD for our struggle is spiritual.

As Christians faced with a chronic illness or condition either brought on by our own lifestyle or by being exposed to toxins outside our control, DO NOT put God at the end of the rope. Don't save Him as the final last-ditch effort when all else has failed; saying "Well, ALL I can do now is pray". As Christians that thinking is backward. Prayer is POWERFUL and should be the first step! It moves things in the spiritual realm that affects the physical world. Not by our might but by the Almighty.

It's easy to get caught up in pity parties, medical-go-rounds, and chasing pseudo-saviors of all kinds. God wants to take you out of the medical wilderness you have been wandering in. He's waiting for you to seek Him, His righteousness and His wisdom as your first priority. He's waiting for you to give up control to Him and let Him be God. He may well bring you to that medical professional or to natural means that will bring about healing. He may even supernaturally heal you immediately.

But what is most important to God is our personal relationship with Him and acting on that relationship by how we think of ourselves and how we treat others. We build that relationship by talking to Him (prayer) and by Him talking to us (divine revelation in His Word). As His children let us take God at His Word that with Him ALL things are possible!




If you would like a health guide and researcher, an accountability partner and a battle buddy to team up with you to assist you in defeating your chronic illness, go to Your Next Step and see if I can be of benefit.

Christian Natural Health Coach, Patti Olson, was inspired to become a health and wellness coach after her victory over 23 years of Irritable Bowel Syndrome and assisting her husband's victory over Farmer's Lung, sleep apnea and arthritis.

Since then she has helped many others overcome their chronic conditions by following the same basic steps. Get her free report titled Overcome Chronic Illness: 5 Steps to Reclaiming Your Life from:

http://www.OvercomeChronicIllness.com




Hard Work is Bad Management - In Business and Relationships


How do we get more done in less time? This is good management.

Bob gets up in the morning and, after doing whatever it takes to keep himself healthy, goes to work. He travels from one place to another, or to the office, with great tenacity. Bob is busy, and you better know it. There's no time for mucking around. He has 300 emails a day to sort through and innumerable phone calls.

Meetings are back to back and tonight there is a dinner function for an out of town client. Then after his exercise program tomorrow morning (if he's not too hung over) Bob will be in the office by 7.30am for another meeting.

Bob complains "I love my job, and the pressure is the price I pay. I never stop traveling and last week I was home for just one day between flights" Bob has children, a wife and a nice home. Hard work is Bobs motto and he is doing everything he can to make a good home for himself and his family. He is also very ambitious, wanting to achieve high aims in the industry he is in.

Bob is not alone in his pursuit of excellence through hard work. He joins a high ranking echelon of executives who compete for the top jobs. His spirit and passion as a leader are infectious. He balances another whole community of individuals who hate their job, and as a consequence, their life. Peter is one such example.

Peter wakes in the morning and really doesn't look forward to going to work. As a consequence he loads his relationship with allot of pressure. He is what is called a taker. Because he's not inspired at work, he looks to be cared for at home. Peter comes home tired, everyone who doesn't like their job comes home tired. He is demoralized at work and blames the boss, the company, the industry and to some degree himself for not leaving. But the income is important, so he stays, "just for a while longer". Peter works hard when he's being watched but when the boss turns her back, he does his private work, emails and chats with others, just to keep himself amused. His main motive at work? Less done in more time. His mindset reflects that of the majority of employed people.

Andrea is single. She doesn't want to be single, but she is. Some of her friends are married, but they are totally not happy. Her single friends go out on the town some nights and she joins them. Some meet potential partners and have a fling but Andrea is a bit over the whole thing. She's secretly depressed that she has been so discriminating around men and now, when she should or could be having a family, she's not. Andrea has a nice job. She likes doing what she does but there is so much emotion around it, that it's hard for her to be inspired. She finds herself being very defensive of her work, she sometimes feels attacked, when in fact, people are just having an opinion. Andrea is the opposite to Peter, she puts a huge pressure on her work life because her relationship is non existent. All her self esteem is coming from her work.

Linda is a very emotional person. She has a boyfriend, but, well, he's nice and sexy and all but, well, there isn't the right spark. Linda has business aspirations as well. She is building her own business income and in most ways loves her work. Linda has been heart broken by relationships in the past. She is reluctant to get distracted from her purpose. However, Linda, deep, deep down is not happy. Love is missing from her life and she really doesn't want to dance on the surface like she currently is, with boyfriends.

All of these people have one thing in common. What do you think it is?

Are they all stupid?

Are they all unconscious?

Are they all destined for disaster?

Are they all egotistic?

Are they simply naïve?

My answer is that all of these people suffer from

The answer is:

Bad Management

o Bob thinks hard work is good work

o Peter thinks a relationship can withstand the pressure of a bad job.

o Andrea thinks her work can withstand the pressure of a non existent relationship.

o Linda has become self obsessed. She thinks she's a victim. She's angry and thinks she can build a happy life with that attitude to the past.

Hard work is bad management.

Hard work makes the ego feel nourished. The aspiration for hard work comes from the idea that we can prove our worth, by working hard. In other words this person doesn't believe they deserve things unless they suffer the strain of hard work.

Smart work, which is easy work (enjoyable and doesn't take long) can only be acceptable if a person really believes they are worthy of it Otherwise, easy is not of value. The person who cannot accept high returns from easy work will always sabotage what they have in order to make things harder.

Easy work does not lack intensity. That is a myth. Easy work is not sipping gin and tonics on a beach while making millions. That's fun, but eventually boring. Easy work is: IICCRR.

Interesting - Attracts a personal investment

Inspiring - Stimulates a sense of goodness

Challenging - Demands focus and skill development

Confronting - Causes a discomfort, a stretch to create

Rewarding - Financial and personal

Responsible - Has a sense of fulfilling a dream - a bigger picture for the individual.

Hard work in relationship is bad relationship management

Bad management is not limited to work. Bad management and the hard work that follows as a result can also be found in relationships. Some people get their self esteem from the hard work they put into relationships. Like Bob, who gets his self esteem from the notion of hard work, some people, like Andrea, think the harder they work in their relationship the better it is. Always trying to mend things, this person will sabotage any time where there is ease and tenderness. They must have drama in order to feel a sense of worth. They do not feel worthy of sweet, tender effortless love.

Good management in relationship is not only sexual. Good management in relationship extends all the way down to the hidden thoughts a person thinks. Good management in relationship is a cumulative thing. Everyday words add up to sentences, then paragraphs and eventually books. Many people think a bit of suffering in their relationship today will be paid back in the future. But this is really bad management.

Bad management in relationships extends all the way to the notion of not having one at all. How many times do you hear people say "I'd rather be single than in a relationship like that" basically they are revealing an aversion to conflict. Linda and Andrea both have an aversion to being challenged. This is egocentric behavior. A person who does not want to be challenged, confronted or disagreed with is actually building a fortress with their ego. They are, in the interest of being clever, dumb.

Good management in relationship causes ease in love. That doesn't mean sloth. Good management in business is the same as relationship.

1. Value each others time as precious. Don't waste it with TV, idle chat and inefficient time management. If you say "I will be home at 10.00", be home at 9.30. If you say you would like to go for dinner, treat it like a first date. Try to find something interesting to talk about other than your problems. List 200 thinks that you can both be thankful for at every meal. Go to dinner and play thank you's.

2. Delegate the small stuff. Housekeepers love keeping house, dog washers love washing dogs, gardeners love gardening. If you can't do it together with laughter, hand it to someone who can.

3. Live your vision. Make sure your partner has a vision, and if they ask, help them live their vision. Inspiration in love comes from linking personal dreams with bigger ones.

4. Don't take yourself too seriously, but take the contribution of what you do in the world seriously. Have a bigger purpose in life. Have a bigger reason for your love than sex, happiness and making babies. Think outside your family circle to the highest cause your family would love to affect and become invested. Not because they need you, but because as a couple, you need a purpose bigger than you.

5. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop doing, stop trying. Stop the clock. Turn off the kids, the TV, the hi fi, the yoga and just be with each other. Like in business, you have to break away from it, in order to manage it. In your relationship just go and sit under the moon, stop.

6. People become as you treat them. There are two sides to everything. So you can see your lover as either good or bad. A wise and in love person must see their lover as both. Then with both good and bad, choose to focus on, talk about, compliment, support and feed the positive. Nobody can beat up your partner more than they do for themselves. You don't even need to comment on the negative, they are doing it to themselves already. Nor is their a need to rescue them from their self destructive thinking. Simply focus your heart on the positive. And let the negatives take care of themselves.

7. Protect your love. In a business we manage the strategy to be sustainable and competitive. That means we protect the unique position of the business. All business are different, just as all relationships are different, they all have some uniqueness that must, at all cost, be protected. Friends, family, work, obligations must always be placed in lower priority to the relationship. Children are not as important as the relationship. You must also be aware of the negative affects of ex lovers on relationships. Sometimes this can suck the life out of a thriving dynamic. Not all associations are healthy to a new and budding flower.

8. Appreciate, appreciate, appreciate. When people first meet, they totally appreciate the fact that they have just met the love of their lives. They appreciate the other person. But often, especially men, once they have the love of the lady they pursue, they start taking it for granted. Two things result; First their partner starts to feel unappreciated (a really big turn off) and secondly their partner looses respect for anyone who doesn't appreciate them. So, men especially, act like your lady will leave you any day, if you don't show her how much you appreciate her because the truth of the matter is, that after 2 or 3 years of not feeling appreciated, any partner is going to have an affair, or leave, or start working hard. Remember, it takes one act of depreciation to counterbalance 100 acts of appreciation. What parallel can you draw from this for business - think customer.....

(footnote here; one of the greatest signs of lack of appreciation for another person is trying to help them change. Even if they ask for it, truly there is nothing to change, just something that deserves to be appreciated)

9. Love is cumulative. It is what you do everyday that matters. Birthdays and Christmas, and Valentines days are disasters because they cause people to delay thank you's to a "public day" - this is a disaster. We must be humble every day. Humble to the magnificence of the person we are with. We must avoid comparing who we are with to some idol whose other side we still don't know. WE must remember that everyone has every trait, and the person we are with is everything. Including a mirror of us. Love is cumulative and that is why emotionally unstable people have heart breaks and short term relationships. They can't accumulate, they fluctuate instead.

Be love and remember

Hard work is bad management




Chris Walker is a world leading change agent, an environmentalist and author of more than 20 books. Born and bred in Australia, he consults to people and organisations throughout the world on improved relationships, health and lifestyle through the application of the Universal laws of Nature. The result he offers is that we stay balanced, share loving relationships, work with passion, enjoy success, and live our personal truth. To learn more about Chris's work and journeys to Nepal, visit http://www.chriswalker.com.au




2012年7月27日 星期五

Are Physician's Relationships To Pharmaceutical Companies Unhealthy For Their Patients? (Part One)


The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 94% of all physicians receive some sort of compensation from drug companies. These incentives may be in the form of food and beverages in the workplace, free drug samples, reimbursements for professional meetings or their continuing medical education, and direct payments for consulting, speaking, or enrolling patients in trials or studies.

Such gifts and payments have a direct influence on the physician's ability to make sound medical decisions. The vast amount of amenities that the majority of physicians accept has made it difficult for them to any longer distinguish between legitimate sources of medical information from that which has been influenced by the pharmaceutical companies desire to market their products. This unfortunate situation has also blurred the lines between that which is actually educational, and that which is merely a marketing ploy.

Drug Companies Might Very Well Be Your Doctor's Only Source Of Education

It is quite likely that your doctor does not spend much time after hours going over reports and statistics on the latest drugs. It is more likely that the information he or she receives comes from drug representatives who are peddling their specific brands of medicines. According to a 2008 report, drug companies spend more than $50 billion dollars per year in promotions to help make sure that your doctor is actually listening to their high paid drug pushers.

Do These Doctor-Drug Company Relationships Effect Patient Health Care?

Although you would be hard put to find one doctor in a million who would admit that the many free gifts which they receive and enjoy from the pharmaceutical companies has any effect on what they prescribe to their patients, research has shown otherwise. These amenities in fact actually do influence prescribing practices. The nearly $20 billion dollars per year that the drug companies spend in building and maintaining relationships with physicians all over the country is proof enough that your physician's behavior is affected by these relationships, and these relationships do in fact increase sales or else the drug companies would not dish out that kind of money.

I believe that we place physicians on a great pedestal in this country and forget that they too are merely human beings who are just as capable of being influenced and persuaded by the love of money (greed), perks, and entitlements, as any other human being on the planet.

In this writer's opinion the question of whether or not a physician's financial relationship with a pharmaceutical company has any effect on the overall health care of a patient is really a no-brainer. It would actually be almost impossible to stay 100% committed to that which is actually best for the patient under a physician's care if the physician were promoting the drugs which paid for his or her new luxury automobile. This is quite obvious to me, but the question is, is it obvious to you? For your sake and the physical and financial well being of this great country I hope you will consider what is here written and start to make positive dietary and lifestyle changes in your daily walk and begin to rely less on your doctor who might very well rely too heavily on a big pharmaceutical company.




I am passionate about health issues, and the state of the health of our wonderful America. I believe the American diet is literally killing us and that a steady flow of money and perks from the meat, egg, and dairy industries to the U.S. government is the reason we have had a long sustained brainwashing campaign that has precipitated the shift from a predominantly plant-based diet to an animal-based diet. The result has been an unprecedented increase in heart disease, diabetes, stroke, and cancers of all varieties. I believe Americans are suffering from a lack of truthful information concerning our diets. I enjoy writing motivational articles that will help to correct the problem regarding this lack of information and also examine the prevailing misinformation in the light of truth.

Healthy Vegetarian Choices For Life
Dedicated to the advancement of informed choices that will benefit our health, our environment, and our animal friends. Please visit my website at http://www.ourhealthforlife.com and look around awhile. I would very much appreciate comments concerning your reaction to what I have written as well as any input that might aid me in the task of making my site more helpful. I thank you in advance for your consideration.




Boost Your Relationship And Weight Loss


I'm not sure if you're aware of this, but your relationship can have a significant impact on your physical health. Ideally, your partner would be exercising regularly, eating healthily and encouraging you to make positive lifestyle changes. But what if that were not the case?

Well, that shouldn't be an excuse to gain unwanted weight or eat poorly. It all boils down to this: You need to take charge, with your partner as a supporting force. Regardless of whether the relationship has taken its toll on your physical health or vice versa, you will start to make notable improvements in both areas once you both embark on a fitness routine.

Studies have proven that exercise promotes the release of hormones called endorphins, which help improve your mood, calm your mind and act as a powerful antidepressant. Emotionally, this can help you have better interactions with the people in your life, and thus better relationships. If you've experienced that post-exercise 'high' after great workout, you'll know what I mean.

Struggling to get him involved? Start small instead of rushing headfirst into an exercise program. I ofter hear of complaints such as "contrasting schedules", "work commitments" or "different fitness goals", making exercising together impossible. Well, if you have time to dine or watch TV together, you should able to find the time to exercise together.

If you're into fitness and healthy eating, it can be difficult to come to terms with the fact that your partner isn't. What's just as difficult: Trying to change someone who isn't ready for it. Instead of the usual candlelit dinner, why not sign up for a dance class together? What about cooking lessons or an outdoor adventure, such as hiking, biking or white-water rafting? These activities will benefit your body and help you bond: plus, they sure beat the same old movie night loaded with extra calories from popcorn and soft drinks.

Feed off each other's energy and motivation, and keep one another accountable for every step the both of you take. Even better, do something different, like experiment with fun activities that the both of you would enjoy. The benefits: You'll both not only look and feel healthier; you'll also gain more confidence personally, socially and professionally.

If you're single, why not get a workout buddy? Support from a partner will leave you more likely to succeed!




Visit Health Product Reviews [http://healthproductreviewsite.com/] for more information about health and fitness.




3 Simple Ways to Empower Your Health and Happiness From Inside Out!


Empowerment is not just about confidence and speaking up or taking risks. It's really all-inclusive - relationships, finance/career and health. Integrative empowerment involves spirit, mind and body. One of the reasons we struggle throughout life is that we are taught to compartmentalize ourselves.

There is too often a disconnect between how we really feel and what we do, or what we say. We talk about "pursuit of happiness" yet, when we or others attempt to come from an inner place of authenticity, if it does not fit inside of a narrow little box, there is not uncommonly, shame, guilt or blame heaped upon the one who finds a little courage to venture outside the "accepted" behavior for the group they currently associate with.

Well, I think it's time to talk about how these dynamic impacts in a negative way everything from your health and aging, to whether or not you die with your joy and happiness locked deep inside of you. Over the many years I spent practicing medicine, I found that the people who were happiest, healthier and had the happier relationships tended to be open-minded, less concerned about what others thought of them and more likely to have a sense of humor or playfulness.

When we think that acting like an "adult" means that we have to be "serious", or that to be successful we have to "work hard" or that health comes from focusing on avoiding being sick - we disempower ourselves in all of these areas. These are just common myths, common beliefs.

Just because a lot of people see life this way, does not mean that it is the best way, and certainly not the only way. As you may recall, the majority at one time also thought that the world was flat. What I have found is that, while there are principles or "secrets of the universe" that when followed work no matter what culture, century or educational level you apply them to, most of the stuff we believe is just a bunch of hand-me-down beliefs that may no longer apply to the current times or be in your best interest.

For example, happiness is not something that can really be obtained outside of you for any significant time. Haven't you noticed how transient our feelings can be when tied to some person, place or thing? Or how about working hard - why can't we be successful without all of the "sacrifice" and struggle? Of course we can, but if you only see life this way - this is the way that your nervous system will cause you to focus to "make you right".

In fact, if your success comes easy, if you have this belief of hard work and struggle, you may sabotage yourself just because you feel guilty about life being so abundant for you. Hopefully, you get the point - much of the way we look at life is making our experience hard and full of struggle not because it has to be this way, as much as it is because this is the way we expect it to be.

You do have the right to change your mind. In fact, that is the only way you can let new, more empowering information in.

Here are 3 simple ways that you can switch your paradigm to one that is more likely to give you results tending toward more health and happiness and I use them all and they are working for me. Let me make it clear that I use to also believe, very much so, that life was hard and that success took much struggle and preventative health meant, "avoiding disease".

For Mind Health:

1. Make it your business to escape the trap of all work and no play -

examples:

Get uncomfortable and play at the beach, get messy and wet in the sand, join a group that sets an intention to go on "play dates", watch funny movies, this could be a long list. Let your imagination and "inner kid" come back to life. This is the best way to "anti-age" yourself. The point is, stress is a killer, accounting for as much as 90% of all visits to primary care doctors. When you play and relax, you counteract the cascade of the stress response which damages your brain cells, - literally.

For Body Health:

2. Of course, exercise and plenty or rest, but also some less often realized ideas include focusing on health and instead of fearing that you will be the next cancer victim. Worry actually weakens your immune system. Well, guess what? A weakened immune system makes you more susceptible to cancer and other diseases. Hence, the fear that you have is making you more likely to experience the very thing you want to avoid.

Your brain and mind cannot tell the difference between something vividly imagined and something really happening. You may just be scaring yourself to death with all of your fear of having a disease.

For Spirit:

3. Spirit is not the same as "religious" though some people do use the term interchangeably. Happiness is generally a response to something we want. The key to peace of mind and joy though is to either desire without "needing" and wanting to control or hold on. It has been so empowering for me to realize that I cannot micromanage the Universe and it is futile to try. It is also better for my health and mind. It just makes for much resistance and unhappiness and blocks the joy that can only come from within. Joy/happiness that is lasting is coming from our core, our spirit and looking for it outside ourselves is looking for it in "all the wrong places". The belief that you can "be happy when _________ is one of the most common self-sabotaging myths going. Let it go.

These are three real and lasting yet uncommon ways to empower up from the inside out. Notice that they all overlap in many ways, as our mind, emotions, body and spirit are one - all interconnected and until we start to bring these pieces of ourselves into a whole unit, we are not very likely to find the joy, abundance and peace of mind that a truly empowered life can bring.




Website: Visit http://www.ValenciaRay.com for your free jump-start report & audio, "7 Common Myths That Block Your Vision for Your Life - And What to Do About It"

Valencia Ray MD is a former eye surgeon who with clear intention sold her medical practice to now show women entrepreneurs and professionals how to eliminate blind spots that they don't even know are limiting not only how they see themselves, but also limits their vision for business success, happy relationships and good health.

Every week she gives uncommon tips and strategies in her Mind Muscle Minutes and blog, to expand your vision for your business, relationships and a healthy lifestyle, and how to make it happen! You can claim your free reports and learn more at http://www.ValenciaRay.com




2012年7月26日 星期四

Sexual Health: 5 Simple Ways to Boost Sexual Vitality


Ready to put the spark back in your love life? We've got all the juicy secrets to boosting sexual vitality and creating a more nurturing, loving relationship.

Healthy digestion not only improves your physical well-being and reduces risks of illness and disease, it can also boost your sexual health and deepen the intensity of your relationship. Today, I'll talk about the top 5 eating-related lifestyle adjustments you can make to invigorate your sex life.

Healthy digestion is an important first step in maximizing the intimacy and endurance of your relationships - specifically, how you absorb foods impacts your sexual vitality. To add passion to your sex life, try these five simple ways to improve digestion:

1. Sit down to eat

The stress of eating while doing other tasks, such as running, standing, driving, doing business, concentrating, and reading, can lead to ulcers and poor digestion. Sitting down to eat focuses your attention on the present moment, so you can fully enjoy your meal and your partner's company without distraction. This simple step not only improves digestion, but also cultivates appreciation for your food and relationship.

2. Chew your food

Digestion begins in the mouth. Amylase enzyme in saliva breaks down carbohydrates so the body can more easily absorb them. As complex carbohydrates (like brown rice) are converted into simple sugars, they become naturally sweeter. Chewing foods 50-100 times not only improves digestion, it also allows you to more easily embrace the sweetness in life, including being with your partner.

3. Eat at regular times

A regular mealtime schedule brings rhythm to your daily routine. When your digestion functions on a predictable cycle, you are in harmony with the natural order, and your relationships with people, animals, food, and yourself are more balanced.

4. Eat whole foods

Over time, eating rich, heavy, or greasy foods, such as meat and hydrogenated oils, burdens digestion and blocks sexual function. Cooked whole foods, like leafy greens and grains, nourish digestion and help the body cleanse and revitalize your reproductive organs.

5. Eat a moderate amount of food

Skipping meals, dieting, overeating, or under eating can all weaken your digestion, which becomes overworked and exhausted. Eating a moderate amount of food restores digestive function and boosts sexual vitality as you absorb more nutrients and energy.

By improving your digestion, you'll strengthen your body from the inside out. As you learn the art of eating, your relationships will become sweeter as well.




Julie S. Ong is Your Guide to Macrobiotic Living and author of The EverythingR Guide to Macrobiotics (Adams Media, 2010). She helps couples boost energy, improve sexual health, and nurture loving relationships through better ways of eating. To find out how she can help you take your relationship to the next level, visit her site at http://www.everythingmacrobiotics.com. Copyright 2010 Julie S. Ong.




Path #3 to Infidelity - Do Men and Women Recognize Attractive Threats to Your Relationship?


A report in Men's Health Magazine is a must read for every man and women who wants to affair-proof your relationship. Find out how men and women learn to recognize and guard against attractive threats to your intimate relationship as you read my summary of this Men's Health report:

Path #3 To Infidelity: You don't know how to recognize or guard against attractive threats to your relationship

Researchers in a McGill University study found that men and women reacted differently when asked to evaluate "attractive alternatives" to their intimate relationship.

When women were presented with photos of an attractive person of the opposite sex, women avoided the photo. Men didn't.

When women were asked to imagine an interaction with an attractive classmate of the opposite sex, women increased their thoughts of commitment and threat. Men didn't.

McGill researchers suspect that women strive to be the protectors and gatekeepers of their relationships, or that women view threats to their relationship as personal. Whereas men tend to let their guard down, possibly because they don't define themselves by their relationship as much.

The remedy:

McGill Researchers noted that when women see an attractive alternative moving in, they tend to use if-then contingencies that spark their automatic defense mechanisms. For example:

If he comes over here, then I'll excuse myself to go get a drink.

Researchers found that when men develop their own if-then plan before entering a situation with many other women, men are more likely to perceive threats and guard their relationship against these "attractive alternatives".

Will you develop your own if-then plan to protect your intimate relationship against the threat of an affair?




And you'll find more leading edge advice on how to create happy relationships in Hadley Finch's articles, songs, podcast show and novel with songs, TRIBE OF BLONDES.

Not a hair color, it's a resilient optimistic spirit that unites us and fuels our passionate choices and personal triumphs. In that spirit, Hadley Finch helps couples spark up existing relationships, and she introduces savvy singles seeking their great love through video chats, special events and travel vacations in the Singles Club.

Gain free instant access to inspired advice for happy relationships or sign up for a free trial of the Singles Club when you visit http://www.tribeofblondes.com




2012年7月25日 星期三

Improving Doctor-Patient Relationships


The real concern is not about the wait although that's important, but because our medical professionals are so busy, how can we be sure that we really get the full ten minutes we're allotted in the system. I'm not saying that we should keep an eye on the clock, but I am suggesting the importance of you and your medical provider being "present" together throughout the appointment.

There is lots of scientific literature and books about being "mindful". As I interview those with illnesses I'm wondering how our doctors would respond if we tried to practice mindfulness during our appointment. Is it possible to create a sacred space within the doctor's office? Could we invoke some level of control over our appointment by suggesting to our medical provider that we both get centered for a moment making the interaction more human and relationship based and gets both us and our providers to match energetic forces as we tackle the big questions about test results, examinations and treatment?

Would we absorb more and become more responsible patients if we had the doctor's attention to the degree that the two of us, for a brief period of time, were really the only ones in the world....just for those ten minutes. It's important to remember that it's not about the quantity of time you spend with your medical provider but the quality of the visit. Keeping focused and holding the doctor's attention is critical to good care. Having the ability to express yourself and be understood alleviates misunderstanding and increases more efficacious treatment strategies. Taking the guess work out of a treatment plan allows you to have more confidence in your medical team and that elevates your intention to comply with the instructions and in turn elevates the odds for a positive outcome.

It may be difficult to think about medicine as a domino effect, but the truth is that your interaction with your healthcare team impacts the doctor's willingness to go above and beyond the call of duty. You'll have greater access to your medical team because they know that each and every contact is initiated with purpose. There is nothing more detrimental to the doctor-patient relationship than creating an adversarial relationship. The doctor and patient must respect each other and understand that everyone is working toward the same goal...wellness.

If you're facing a health challenge take a personal inventory of your relationships. Note those things that create better relationships between you and your friends and family. Apply those same principles to your relationship with your medical team. Each visit is an opportunity to connect person to person, not simply as doctor to patient. These human relationships create a bond where everyone is vested in the best outcome possible, not out of duty, but out of desire. Don't you want to be at the top of someone's priority list out of choice and not circumstance? "Presence" will give you the edge in the world of medical overwhelm.




Looking for other ideas to improve your relationship with your doctor? Get your FREE copy of the special report "The 5 Pillars of Health and Healing". As a bonus I'd like to offer you the multimedia program "Instilling Hope for Health". Want to benefit from my experience with illness and twenty years of working with clients who have been diagnosed? Get your FREE report and multimedia program at http://www.survivingstrong.com




Key Tips to Dating Someone With a Mental Health Illness


The saying that true love knows no bounds is absolutely correct - and those that suffer from mental conditions have every right in the world to the same happiness and fulfillment that those without such illnesses enjoy. There is still a certain social stigma that stems from the topic of dating someone with a mental health illness, but those that find themselves attracted to someone already in the process of handling such an issue can still find happiness in spite of all odds. Behind every person with a mental health illness is someone that deserves love, kindness, and respect. The problem is that there can be a lot of misunderstandings between someone with a mental health issue and someone without that issue - those misunderstandings can often lead to deeper problems that lead to painful breakups. This article will cover three tips that you can try today to create a pleasant experience when dating someone with a mental health illness.

First, it is important to become a very good listener. One of the major concerns that people with mental health illnesses have is that they are not fully being heard and understood, or worse - ignored because they have a mental disorder. This fear can raise paranoia levels higher than normal and cause negative behavior patterns to surface as a way of getting the attention they feel they are missing.

This can create a fair amount of tension between any two people, but when someone has a mental health illness, this tension can be even greater than before. There's plenty of ways to avoid this, though: listening thoroughly to what is actually being said without letting personal emotions get in the way is a great method to diffuse most relationship problems of this nature. To demonstrate that you're listening to what the other person really has to say, try to weave in past conversations into present ones. For example, if they mention really wanting to see a certain movie or read a certain book, you might place a movie review on the desk or surprise them with tickets. Your gestures of understanding do not have to be elaborate, but they must be sincere. There is nothing worse than finding that the emotions someone has for you aren't authentic, and such a thing will cause further problems to develop.

Just as good listening is key to dating someone with mental issues, so is giving appropriate space. When someone with a mental-emotional disorder is hurting, they may want to spend time alone. A common mistake that many people without a mental health illness do is attempt to force a dialogue on whatever might be bothering the person at the moment. This often ends in disaster: the affected party feels as if they're trapped, and may only give a response just to get you to let the issue go. The better approach is to let them have the space they need without judgment.

Anytime we choose to date someone there will undoubtedly be problems and bumps along the way. However, if you follow the tips and tricks in this guide, you'll have all the information you need to start a relationship off on the right foot - even with other issues in the background!




Looking for more tips on how to create lasting, dynamic relationships with people with mental health issues? We have you covered on our mental health social network, where friends of mental health sufferers as well as people dealing directly with mental health problems exchange tips openly and freely in a highly supportive environment. Why not check it out today?




Relationship Tips - Making the Effort


Trying to figure out how to put the romance back into your relationship? Want to feel more connected to your partner? The following tips can help you get more out of the relationship you have now.

Tip #1: Keeping in Touch with your Partner

You tune up your car. You go in for dental checkups and annual doctor appointments. Have you ever considered how important it is to have a "check up" for your relationship? What is the purpose of a check-up? To ensure that your health/teeth/car are all in working order!! Why would your relationship be any different? Think about it. Your needs constantly change, your partner's needs change too. Logically, your relationship has to change over time as well. It is important to communicate these changes to your partner; otherwise, your partner is making the attempt to meet past needs that may not have a purpose in your current life (and vice versa). The more you "check in" with your partner, the greater opportunity you have to circumvent misunderstandings and maintain a healthy relationship.

Tip #2: What Goes Around Comes Around

Have you ever heard of the saying, "Givers gain?" This is the motto to an international networking group, BNI. The belief is that if you give unconditionally without worrying about what you'll get out of it, that your giving will be returned tenfold. How often have you thought about withholding yourself from your partner because they haven't reciprocated in a while or because you've tried in the past to no avail. Think about this....if you gave to your partner unconditionally, that they will be more willing to return the giving??

I'm not talking about giving so much of yourself that you end up becoming resentful. I'm talking about the little things that can go a long way. Try it and see how your partner responds!

Tip #3: Go Beyond the Holidays

During the holidays, it is fascinating how everyone goes all out to demonstrate their love for one another: chocolates, cards, candy, flowers, jewelry...It's all nice, but love needs to be demonstrated to your partner 365 days a year (366 if it's Leap Year!). Love can be expressed in many ways. How do you express love to your partner? Is it the type of love your partner needs? Some people like gifts, other like hugs, and even others prefer help with the daily routines.

An open discussion between you and your partner can uncover if the type of love you give is actually what your partner needs and vice versa. Understanding how your partner appreciates you will allow you to respond appropriately, resulting in an increased connection and less feeling unappreciated. Remember love is...year around! And it gives so much in return!!!

Tip #4: Keep in Touch!

This time is full of responsibilities: children, bills, finances, work, health...but where does your relationship fit in?

You need to give your relationship equal time to be successful. It's easy to say, "We'll do that tomorrow," but if "tomorrow" becomes "tomorrow" again and again, eventually, you may wake up one morning and realize it's been weeks or even months since you've made time for your partner.

You and your partner made time for each other when you first met. How did you make time for each other then? You went on dates. You would agree on a time to go out, be picked up at the door and spend an evening together. You did it once! You can do it again! Start by setting at least one night a month for the two of you to go out. Get a babysitter (if needed), make reservations and enjoy the time to reconnect.

Remember, the bills, finances and work responsibilities will be there the next day. One day the children will be off and having families of their own. Your health may not be what it is today. For all these reasons, today is the day to make a strong connection with your partner...and keep it nourished and healthy.

Tip #5: Claim Your Space

Nurturing your relationship and quality time is important. However, it is equally important to nurture yourself as individuals. Take time occasionally for yourself away from your spouse. Go out with friends...get involved with a hobby...whatever interests you have, foster them. It gives you a chance to regain your identity separate from your relationship, and provides you opportunities to share more with your partner at the same time.




c2007 Jodi Blackley, M.S., M.F.T.
Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist
If you are interested in receiving more Tips, please visit my website at http://www.jodiblackley.com/relationshiptipoftheweek.htm and sign up to receive more ways to get the relationship you want!!




2012年7月24日 星期二

Soul Purpose - Real Love - The Keys to Happiness, Good Relationship and Health


Arguably, love is the most important, sort after, misplaced and trouble making experience of our lives. As if the soul of human beings is directed at love as a pre programmed target, and all else is simply distraction.

To love your work, your past, your future. Love might just be the soul purpose of life. Love is not holistic. To love something, anything it seems, might be enough. To love self or a Guru, might satiate the hunger. To love a dog or cat, friend or business, to love a sport or environment - maybe the love, real love of something is enough for the soul to feel purpose and therefore rest in the journey.

For me, the love of anything other than a person has rarely lasted. I love what I do, but deep down, there's a part of me wanting to achieve something as a result of what I do, therefore it is not real love. I love going to Nepal and climbing up those magnificent Himalayan slopes, but, I feel that this is an addition to my life, therefore it's not real love.

I have friends I love, deeply, they are wonderful. But their lives are not entwined with mine, therefore there is not the depth of provocation that causes me to feel vulnerable, as it seems my soul requires in order to feel satisfied, this love, I think, is not the Real love.

To further challenge my virtue in following the path of Real Love, soul purpose, I found the need to understand a sense of a God in my life. As a spiritual human being, I acknowledge the presence of a creator, the cause of creation. I struggle to put a name or face to this origin of everything. The whole universe comes from a beginning one can never know. From that first thought, like in our own lives, everything began. Who thought it? This is my idea of a creator.

That thought is real love. The original thought. And so, for me, God is love. Love was the first thought, and all that follows it, the creation and destruction of stars and moons and heavens and earths, came from, and exists in, that first thought. Then, maybe my soul purpose is to tune to that first thought? Because it was the first thought, then it exists in everything, everywhere. Maybe this, is the definition of the souls purpose, to see what already is.

When I fall in love with a person, I fall because it is new. It is like a new territory, unexplored universes, and I wish to find the love that is hidden in it. But we are distracted. Children, jobs, houses, health, money, careers, friends, family and more. We are distracted from love because these things are treated as separate from it.

People try to parent their children. Achieve in their jobs, own their houses, improve their health, increase their money, succeed in their careers, help their friends, and collude with their family. Such ambitions it seems are normal, but for me, such drivers, lack the love my soul aspires to.

Love is the synthesis of all emotion

To love a child is beyond prescription, but to avoid an emotion with that child is to avoid love. Parents who are afraid to be strong, or soft, of challenge or support. Cannot love, can only placate a child, manipulate and control by non confrontation.

To love a job is to explore challenge, to face the reward and hardship with equal enthusiasm. This seems, for many people, to be the one area of life they are unafraid of, primarily because they are free to be aggressive in this one area of life, tough on themselves to live out their hypnotized expectation of life.

To love a home is a substitute for an understanding and trust of anything bigger than self. The ego thrives in a home that is loved. Self obsession reaches its pinnacle if the home one lives in is a proud and designed environment. Here an individual feels they, and their universe are one. Deluded in an avoidance of their real fear.

Money is essential, the love of money is vital. Obsession and possession with holding, building and creating wealth is the fastest and strongest path to the avoidance of love. For the broken heart, the fearful mind, the belittled spirit, an obsession with collection and protection of money is the antidote to lovelessness.

Small is good. A healthy humility is a rich asset in this grand universe. We are nothing, and it is wise to know it. But is a healthy mind, small is wonderful, because small means we are a part of something huge, and that hugeness is the magnificence of that first thought, the whole of creation, the magnificence of a love beyond. But for most people their smallness is not humility, it is shame and irrelevance. Then they cling to careers that kill them, families that need them. This cave is a shelter from the vulnerability a belittled spirit feels. When a person looses their place in a loving universe, they create a substitute, and this substitute is attachment in which pride, need and safety are at the core. This is not love.

Like a child in a kindergarten, we play with toys. We play innocently thinking that our games are real and like a child in kindergarten, we eventually become bored with the games, we need bigger toys, faster swings, more challenging puzzles. We automatically grow out of our shoes, and we automatically grow out of our obsessions. Soul seeks love and cannot remain inside a body that substitutes.

Take human hardship. Take the purpose of soul. Understand the keys of Soul love - real love and our innate desire for it. Like a tree searches for the sun, we too have a life giving quest. That quest is not satiated in anything earthly, it is only guided to grow through them.

Love is not another possession. One finds it for someone, something and one grows and adapts and becomes used to it. The profound becomes the mundane. Therefore in the purpose of the soul, a relationship holds no key other than an initial witnessing of a new possibility and the removal of a distraction. The quest - the quest of the soul, will not be satiated within a job, a career, a family, a relationship, a bank account or anything we can build or own.

True happiness, true love comes from the journey, the ongoing quest to witness the beauty of creation. To see beauty in family, money, relationship, career, home is to deconstruct it and in doing so, reveal that first thought of creation within it. That deconstruction is not a moral or ethical one, those are human laws. The deconstruction and the purpose of the soul is to witness the universal laws in all, everything, and therefore evolve, through real life, to real love. Everyday, every hour, another step on the path to the purpose of the soul. It simply wants to go home, from whence it came, home to the thought that created it, through love.

To the body - mind there is pain and pleasure, and mine and yours, life and death. But to the soul, no such boundaries exist. It only knows its purpose, though life after life, body after body, all it knows, is that it is away, uncomfortable - it wants to go home, to its creator, home to love.

Now, you may understand a little more, why relationships feel so good at first, but might not feel so good at last. When your soul feels love, that falling in love it feels home. But this is not home. This is an earthly reminder of where home really is. And before it reaches that home a million billion such reminders will be required. They, like moments of sunlight nourish, guide and direct its growth, going home, from whence it came. To that first thought, to love.

Live with Spirit

Chris Walker




http://www.chriswalker.com.au Chris Walker is a world leading change agent, an environmentalist and author of more than 20 books. Born and bred in Australia, he consults to people and organisations throughout the world on improved relationships, health and lifestyle through the application of the Universal laws of Nature. The result he offers is that we stay balanced, share loving relationships, work with passion, enjoy success, and live our personal truth. To learn more about Chris?s work and journeys to Nepal, visit http://www.chriswalker.com.au




Collateral Benefits - Be Good to Your Mate, It's Good For Your Health!


You're in the middle of a screaming yelling fight with your mate. You can feel your heart racing, your blood pressure rising, and after the fight, even though you smoothed things out, your stomach is still a mess. You think "I can't do this anymore. This is just not good for me!"

Or it's that daily litany of things that irritate you about your relationship, the annoyances you put up with, the little things that grate on your nerves, like his snoring, or her never quite putting away all her stuff. His overly loud laugh when someone says something he thinks he should laugh at even though he doesn't think it's funny, or her forgetting to mail the bills on time. You never quite feel relaxed, you tense up every time he/she does it again, your digestive system suffers and you think "I can't do this anymore. This is just not good for me!"

And you're absolutely right. It isn't good for you. When you feel angry or even very irritated, annoyed, your heart beats more chaotically, your blood vessels may constrict and with that, your heart pumps blood less efficiently throughout your body. Parts of your brain shut down as less blood reaches them, and you're functioning on far less than your full potential. Various chemicals and hormones are released in response to your agitation, contributing to your physical distress and lowering your immune response. All in all, not a pretty picture.

"Well, now what?" you ask, "Leave my mate to preserve my health?" No, of course not, unless your spouse is abusive, which is a whole different subject. But what you can do, is focus your attention more on what you do like about your spouse, what you can appreciate about what he or she brings to the relationship, to the betterment of your life, and less - much less - on what you don't like, on what has little value for you, and frankly annoys you.

So you appreciate that he voices his opinion, and you turn your attention to trying to understand why he has an opinion so radically different from yours, rather than angrily defending your position. You appreciate the inevitable good that will come out of working things through rather than screaming them through.

You appreciate the emotional warmth and comfort of sleeping by his side, and look into solutions for his snoring. You take a step back, and value her spontaneity and easy-going nature which benefits you far more than her untidy habits damage you. You appreciate that he does laugh, even if it's loud. You appreciate how she juggles so many things at once - work, kids, household - and find other ways to manage timely mailing.

Why would you do all this? Because it's not only good for your relationship, it's good for your health. Studies show that when you feel and think appreciation, your heart rate smoothes out, good cardiovascular health is supported, your hormonal balance is improved and your immune system enhanced. Your brain functions at full capacity, firing on all cylinders as it were. And the cascade of chemicals and hormones which flow from an appreciative state of mind all benefit the overall well-being of your physical and emotional self.

Collateral benefits: when you look for what works, for what is positive about your mate and your relationship, not only does your relationship improve dramatically, but your personal health and well-being do as well.




Noelle C. Nelson, Ph.D. is a respected relationship expert, consultant, speaker and author. Her latest book is "Your Man is Wonderful," (Free Press, 2009). For more than a decade, she has helped people live happier, healthier lives through appreciation--at work, at home and in relationships. E-mail: nnelson@dr.noellenelson.com, website: http://www.noellenelson.com