Your Relationship Could Be Killing You

The dangers of staying in a bad relationship are real and can negatively impact your health. If there seems to be something really important missing from your relationship and yet you hang on, it is time to do some self-analyzation...stagnation will always bring pain. Since bad relationships always lack something one or both partners need there is a level of stress that can undermine your health and general well-being.

Physical abuse in a relationship is never something that should be tolerated. If you are in a physically abusive relationship get help today. Taking those steps can be excruciating and you may even feel embarrassed to discuss this issue, but trust me, it will be the best thing you can do for yourself. You deserve peace and happiness and a safe loving environment on a consistent basis.

Emotional and mental abuse can also be devastating to your health. If you know that you are unhappy with a relationship and you have not made any attempt to change things, you have fallen into a trap. You may find yourself making excuses for your lover. He or she may be disrespecting you by calling you names, not attending important life events, or he or she may even be sneaking around with others. If you find that you are making excuses about his or her work schedule or travels taking up a good part of life, or telling your family and friends that "he or she didn't mean it" when they verbally lashed out at you, it is time to evaluate your situation.

You may have told your friends and family members that this person is wonderful and in reality they are selfish or abusive. But it is you that has continued to acquiesced to this behavior, accepting less than what you know in your heart you deserve. If you are trapped you need to get some emotional support so that you can move beyond this love roadblock and experience the exquisite love you deserve.

Wise people will tell you that there is someone out there who is your perfect match, but if you do not let go of a detrimental relationship you will never experience that incredible love waiting in the wings. The vacuum law of prosperity teaches us that we must let go of the worn out things in life, those things that we have outgrown, things that are no longer repairable, or no longer fit us well, in order to have something more appropriate.

Don't get me wrong, it is not always necessary to let go of a relationship that is causing distress. Sometimes all that is needed is conversation. It is quite common in relationships that one person is moving faster toward love than the other person can or wishes to. I know women and men who have told me that they immediately knew their husband or wife was the one for them, and others have said that it took time. Why does this happen? Sometimes it is just that the other person is afraid of falling in love because they have been hurt before, and other times, they may not feel worthy, or may not be able to accept the unreal feeling that true love has come their way.

Waiting for someone to change a lifestyle may be fruitless. Do not expect a married man or woman to give up their spouse for you - it rarely happens. But, giving an unattached lover time to feel more confident and comfortable in a love relationship may definitely be worth it. Only you know how long you can remain in a painful relationship without hurting yourself.

It is interesting to me that in counseling so many individuals the people that you think would have the most self-confidence often do not. I've seen gorgeous men and women (beautiful inside and out) put up with horrible relationships. Some people get married for all of the wrong reasons having nothing at all to do with love but rather some obligation or convenience. How sad.

Chemistry between people can be mind-blowing. If you have never experienced what is called "love at first sight" you cannot imagine the overpowering impulses that take place within the human body, mind and spirit. This kind of love can be the love that lasts a lifetime, and other strong relationships can be built with time and friendship. Eventually, whomever it is that you have fallen in love with needs to become your dearest friend or it will never really last or be healthy.

Be certain that whatever it is that matters most to you in a relationship is reciprocated. If you are someone who needs to live a totally committed monogamous life, do not choose someone who does not have that capacity or desire. If you are someone who loves to have sex frequently but your partner is happy with a habitual once a week encounter, that won't work either. If you adore home cooked meals, being with family and friends and entertaining but your partner loves his or her solitude above all else - conflict could be a forever thing. If you love romance, thoughtfulness not just in day-to-day life, but in the bedroom as well, but your partner shows prominent signs of selfishness, you need to have a conversation to try and balance things.In any relationship worth keeping it is important to compromise. As we give of ourselves in ways that are uncomfortable it shows that we are willing to contribute towards the success of a relationship.

If you continue to put up with less than you know you deserve in a relationships you need to ask yourself why. Are you addicted to negative behavior? Or could you be emotionally or chemically addicted to your lover? Both of those things are very real. Some children become addicted to negative behavior because the attention that they receive is often related to disobedience. After a while the human psyche cannot differentiate between the attention one gets from negative behavior or from positive behavior. All a child comes to recognize subconsciously is that they are receiving attention. So check your pattern.

Now regarding addictions to people - Haven't you ever just loved being around someone? Sure you have! Everyone enjoys the company of certain people who are charismatic, handsome, or beautiful, funny, and outgoing! It is a joy to be with people who are always uplifting and make you feel good about yourself. But personal chemistry addictions can be stressful as well.

Have people ever told you something like this: "I just love being around you!" If you are one of those people that attract many admirers you could be a real heartbreaker whether you know it or not. Sometimes people are just addicted to the love that emanates from certain individuals. Those people tend to just sparkle and light up a room; they can turn sadness into joy, and boredom into exhilaration. They tend to see the possibilities in life rather than the roadblocks. They are great storytellers. In fact, these are the people that can see the very best in you even when you can't recognize it in yourself.

If you happen to be in love with one of these charismatic people you know that they can turn average sex into something unforgettable, or make you feel as though all of your problems disappear in their arms; and they tend to be wonderful in business if they are leading the organization. They are often the ones in a relationship that know how to keep things fresh and exciting on all levels. But if you are not ready for these whirlwind relationships they can cause confusion. These shining stars tend to jump into life and situations; they can be so vivacious and alluring that you don't know what hit you!

Love can be such fun and add so much to the joy of every day life. Be sure that the love you are engaging is for real and you are not trapped in a relationship that is beneath that which you deserve. Listen to the thoughts and observations of those who know you best. If you feel the relationship is worth saving, talk with your lover/spouse and get some help if need be. Sometimes all it takes is bringing the problem to the other party's attention. We tend to go through life with a certain level of expectation. We expect in life and from others to be treated as we would wish to be treated ourselves. That is the golden rule that I choose to live by. I also tend to give everyone the benefit of the doubt time and time again, seeing the very best in people. However, if someone pushes me in a direction that is injurious to me on any level--I draw the line.

Never move against that which you know in your heart is right and good for you. Do not give up your moral or ethical code to win the admiration or love of any one. If you do so - you may eventually be sorry. Why waste time, take action now to create the life that you really deserve and desire.

Enjoy healthy relationships and love life!

Janet Angel is a sought-after wellness expert with advanced degrees in nutritional biochemistry and psychology. She believes that everyone needs to educate themselves on the wellness opportunities available around the world. Dr. Angel has counseled many prominent citizens across the United States and has participated in several international research programs surrounding health. She has been a guest on many radio programs, is a public speaker, author and seminar leader. Dr. Angel believes that the body has the innate ability to heal itself in most circumstances, given the right environment, the right elements and the opportunity. For further information on her drive to help others reach their fullest potential, please go to http://www.Totallywell.com.