When you are next looking at how to improve your love life, don't just look at your genitals and think how you can add an extra bounce. Think outside the domain of that little area and focus on all seven realms of love. Although love can end up being expressed sexually through the genitals, love making covers a much wider domain of human emotion.
In my new book, sacred love I describe 5 steps to a sacred relationship. Those five steps are actually sequential, and there's a priority of them to create sustainable love. Sure, it may result in a highly enthusiastic and long term sex life, but there are so many other layers to gratify.
There are 5 steps to sacred relationship, a relationship that lasts forever. Today, in this article I am going to explore a small portion of the second step, turning up. There is a physical aspect and a mental aspect to turning up in a relationship. Both are critical.
Turning up in a relationship means that you arrive in the relationship un encumbered with ex partners, parents, children, health problems, fear, psychological problems, sleep disorders and fantasies of meeting someone who is going to solve your life long sadness.
This is not to say, that turning up means we don't have children, parents, ex partners, health issues, fear, psychological problems, sleep disorders and fantasies. Turning up means we protect the sacredness of our relationship from them. Self management means we isolate issues and put solutions in place that, whether we are single or double, deal with the issue. For example, single parenting is a great challenge, but also a great gift. If a person is walking around imagining what it will be like with a surrogate parent helping them, and they meet a lover, then that person doesn't turn up. Their hopes of a helper, a surrogate, a rebuilding of a unit turn up. And this blocks love.
There are many unhappy people who are looking for love. They actually hope that love will resolve their unhappiness and it does, for a week or two. But an unhappy person has an attitude, and in that attitude there is a glitch. This glitch will not be compensated by a lover.
On the other hand a person with deep seated fear cannot show up. There was one lady who had a sister who was violent. The lady was very peaceful, because this (as you will see in my article on excess and deficiency) is how sisters balance each other. So, from the very beginning, this lady always put on a half face, she was always peaceful on the outside, and therefore all her rage and anger went inside. So, when she fell in love, she could only trust sex. She couldn't trust herself. When a man really, really loved her, she couldn't accept it, because she judged her sister, and therefore herself, so much for the anger and violence.
Turning up for sacred love is easy. But it requires absolute humility. Sometimes that humility comes from realizing we made a bad mistake leaving someone just because we didn't feel worthy of their love. That is humility isn't it?
Here is a quote from this weeks Love Inspiration......
To fall from your high perch and suffer the agony of broken love is what in the East is called rebirth. The self is crushed and you are reborn anew. Let this old self, that was filled with yesterday and promises of tomorrow, die. There is nothing to worry about. Just hurt, let it hurt. Most important is don't fight it. Let it hurt. Fall and the old self will die and there will come a day of sunshine, more quickly if you don't resist. This is stillness, falling from the high perch. losing control. Most important is to let go. Don't hold on. Forget hope and wishing to be back together, that will hold you in pain, fall, let go, surrender and then find your feet again. Let go.
I want to share with you a teaching that I use to help people turn up for love in the physical sense of it. I hope you enjoy it.
Your body is divided into seven levels. Your heart is in seven segments and there are seen realms of love. Those seven realms are described in the sacred love book, and on an article on the web site at http://www.chriswalker.com.au - look for articles.
For simplicity, and conformity with Chinese and ayurvedic teachings I have written this synopsis based on only five levels. I have merged two levels together.
The first area
First, from the hips down to the ground, your earth side. This area determines your groundedness. If there is a problem in this area of your body, it is reflecting a mineral deficiency. You can start taking mineral supplements such as calcium and magnesium. (these are on the periodic chart)
Problems below the hips reflect either trying to hard or not trying enough and they come from your dreams. If your dreams are too expansive, then your legs will become painful from over stretching. If your dreams are too small cellulite, and arthritis will set in. Torn hamstrings come from over reaching.
These problems are reflected in your sex life by inability to orgasm or premature orgasm. If these problems aren't in your life, then, your mineral balance is good, and your dreams seem to be real.
The second area
Second, the area between the pubic bone and the ribs. The water territory, bladder, colon, reproduction. This area is most vulnerable in block us from turning up in love because it is the area where we hold onto someone we love, and can't let go. It manifests in sore lower backs, bladder infections and constipation. This area is fed by herbs and therefore things that are green fertilize and strengthen this area. If you have problems in this area it may be wise to use herbal tea and Chinese herbs to help strengthen this area.
Problems in this area are associated with holding. Colon, bladder, water retention, constipation, and diarrhea, cancers and all reproductive issues reflect either excess or deficiency in attachment. Holding on to the past, or holding onto the future. Running away from the past, running away from the future.
These problems are reflected in your relationship by judgment, criticism, expectations and ultimately depressions and disappointment. If you find yourself giving advice that wasn't asked for or being critical all the time because your partner doesn't meet your desired level, then, you can easily address with herbs. Either heating or cooling depending on your specific issues.
The third area
Third, the area around the heart. This is the fire level and this is the most common reason why people can't show up in relationship. They are still angry, bitter, pissed off about something in the past. The words most used by people who have a block to a past experience are acceptance, forgiveness and unconditional love. This area can be easy transformed with the use of spices. Heating and cooling spices and some vitamin supplements like vitamin C.
Problems in this area are reflected in criticism of some past love, bad breath, heart problems, lung problems and sore upper back/neck. A person who can't turn up because of blockage in this area will promise the earth, but can't deliver. They are deeply and secretly angry, broken hearted about someone who they really love, still love, who hurt them in the past (even by dying, dumping them, or being naughty)
These problems are reflected in your relationship by a certain independence. A commitment to love but an undying commitment to remain free spirited, to hold their power, to remain strong, to make choices that are self sustaining, but couple destructive. This person is the seducer. They want you when you run, then they run when you want them. This person can't turn up because deep down, they are still reacting to the past.
The forth area
Four is the most difficult. The forth level is associated with ambition. It is an intellectual area of knowledge and awareness. It blocks us turning up in love because we don't know how to create boundary. The person with excess or deficiency in this area, wants everything. They want it all, but most of all, they want to be in control. Protein and meat are the most important anti dote to either excess or deficiency in this area. Both are earthing and provide the solidarity for love.
The person whose blockage is in the forth area, is often a vegetarian. Most often because they can't sit still long enough to digest mean and also because they will have some philosophical mirror of how killing animals is against nature. The cause of blockage in this area is competition, comparison and trying to like or not like someone else.
Blockage in this area is revealed by hyperactivity, avoidance, fear, uncertainty and most of all, untruth. The person with this blockage will not reveal themselves. They are too competitive. Turning up is painful for this person because they fear you aren't going to like what you see. So they usually turn up in a disguise. A religion, a Yogi mask, a Buddha mask or a Moslem mask. These invented personas become the identity this person presents to their partner. They, themselves, rarely really show up in their real truth, only in aspiration of who they could be.
The fifth area
Seeking approval is a normal childhood quest. We want love and because parents are busy, we reach out for it. This is how our ego develops. By the time we are 3 it's complete, we only need to dress it differently as time goes on. But when parents are arguing, or one parent seems to be the victim (not really the truth) we develop a excess or deficiency in this area. We start wishing for love, instead of seeking it.
This blockage stops people turning up because they are unable to sustain presence. They dream and in dreams, we just don't turn up for real love. We only dream about how this person will fulfill our dreams, like a childhood story book, we're not in love with the person, we're in love with the story this person can cause.
The only cure for this last level is depression, sadness, heart ache, nervous breakdown. The usual remedy sought is self absorption, isolation, peace and meditation. Eventually, the loneliness of these temporary fixes drives the individual to the real solution which is to value what they have more than what they think they deserve.
I hope you found this fascinating.
The laws of nature - woven into the fabric of our lives in excess and deficiency. The seeking of illusion, and therefore the transient victories of lives that lack the most beautiful gift possible in life. Turning up for love.
With Spirit
Chris
If you only know two words in all you life, excess and deficiency can be them. Too much and too little.
Chris Walker is a world leading change agent, an environmentalist and author of more than 20 books. Born and bred in Australia, he consults to people and organisations throughout the world on improved relationships, health and lifestyle through the application of the Universal laws of Nature. The result he offers is that we stay balanced, share loving relationships, work with passion, enjoy success, and live our personal truth. To learn more about Chris?s work and journeys to Nepal, visit http://www.chriswalker.com.au
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