Looking at the basic psychology of relationship conflict and break ups can help plan your next moves to get your ex back. All relationships, whether you are dating or married, have periods of difficulty and arguments. How you deal with those difficult times will determine whether your relationship stays together and grows or whether it ends.
One thing is very clear, men and women do react differently to conflict within a relationship and after a relationship breaks up.
A study funded by the National Institute of Mental Health showed that many young couples who had only been together for a few months tended to avoid being dependent on the other person. It also discovered that the individuals exhibited high levels of anxiety over being rejected or abandoned.
What was really interesting about this study was how different the results were between men and women. When it comes to relationship conflict psychology, the reaction in men was far more noticeable. Men showed a higher level of anxiety when faced with conflict within the relationship.
What the researchers found was that women are more likely to face the conflict head on and try to get the problem solved. However, men were much more passive. While they wanted to resolve any conflict, they did not want to face the situation head on and grasp the bull by the horns.
Other papers, published very recently in The Journal of Health and Social Behavior, also showed that young men put much more value on the quality of a relationship than women. Women were more concerned about whether they are in a relationship or not rather than how consistently happy it is.
They found that when a relationship broke down, women are more likely to feel depressed and seek solace and comfort from their network of friends. Men, however, were more likely to express their feelings through substance abuse.
The researchers concluded that this is because men rely on their partner more to validate their feelings of self-worth and self-identity. While men do have close friends, the friendship relationship tends to be competitive rather than nurturing.
How does this research tie in with saving your relationship or getting your ex back?
While we are all individual and not simply numbers and statistics, the relationship psychology studies show that men and women have different needs within a relationship.
Men - understand that your girlfriend or wife wants to be in a relationship (even if it isn't perfect!), have a close social network of supportive friends and would prefer to meet conflict challenges head on. Knowing these basic psychological facts about women in relationships can help you resolve your relationship problems and get your ex back.
Ladies - understand that your boyfriend or husband is relying on you as his main source of nurturing. He needs you to admire him and his skills to validate his feelings of self-worth. Remember though that men generally do not like to tackle emotional conflict head on. If you want to get your ex back you need to approach him with a softly-softly attitude.
When looking for get your ex back advice and guides choose a system that works with human behaviour and psychology rather than against it.
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