Our relationships improve when we make a genuine effort to be more compassionate toward others, and we end up feeling like a million bucks.
Maybe we're often too busy or self-absorbed to focus our attention on the misfortune or needs of others. As a result, our relationships are not what they could be. Yet, developing a more compassionate approach to people will make your relationships soar!
What's The Big Deal About Compassion?
Compassion may be defined as concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others. We are able to develop compassion when we develop an awareness of the unfortunate circumstances people are in or the problems they may be encountering.
When we avoid judging or criticizing others and seek to understand them, it is possible to feel compassion more fully. What a way to improve our mental health!
It is a good feeling to withhold judgement and to take the time necessary to see another's life more clearly. Then we can understand their circumstances and how we can help them . . .
And it is a good feeling to connect with people in a non-judgmental and compassionate way.
In fact, compassion is an effective anti-depressant!
How Compassion Helped Me
My experiment with compassion began as a New Year's Resolution a few years ago. I decided to become more attentive to the plight of people in my life (and community) and to be more of a help to them. I didn't want to save anyone, or to be a hero, just to more completely understand . . . and to offer people the gift of my acceptance, empathy and concern.
As the year went by, not only was I able to touch more lives in a positive, caring way, but all my relationships benefited from my new way of seeing and interacting with people.
I spent less time telling people what they did wrong or what they should do, and more time finding the value in their lives and giving my heartfelt positive regard.
I was quicker to communicate my concern. I began to go out of my way to let them know I cared. I said what was in my heart without fear of their response.
Surprisingly, I found myself giving a more helpful and beneficial energy to all my relationships . . . my relationships began to feel different . . . they grew stronger and more positive.
As a side benefit, my life assumed a greater sense of meaning and purpose. And I felt better about myself, to say the least. Giving more compassionately is a wonderful self-help technique.
How To Become More Compassionate
1. Change your thinking habits. As soon as you catch yourself rushing to criticize or condemn, step back and suspend judgement. Analyze the situation more deeply.
2. Take time to understand, rather than giving in to a knee-jerk-reaction. Just try and see without allowing emotion to cloud logic.
3. Adopt a different approach to people you tend to avoid, dismiss or dislike. They're people too. Give them a chance. Actively look for the good in them, and allow yourself to find their hidden beauty.
4. Ask yourself what person(s) in your life would benefit from your complete and unbiased understanding or sympathetic attention. And consider how you might communicate it to them. Give more compassion and give it straight-up.
5. Try to find opportunities to make a difference in someone's life, no matter how small.
6. Be creative in supporting others more and helping them to overcome their difficult problems or circumstances. Have fun thinking of ways to help. Be more childlike in trusting your imagination for inspiration.
7. Walk a mile in others' shoes. This old adage really works. If you take the time to stop and put on someone else's shoes, and to walk around in their life, you will feel what they feel. Compassion will follow.
8. Ask your Higher Power to help you to become less egocentric and more concerned about the lives of others.
9. When others judge harshly and withdraw their support of someone, give your understanding and acceptance.
10. In prayer or meditation, open yourself to a more compassionate way of interacting with people.
Real Life Suggestions
Do you know an elderly person who recently lost a mate? What can you do to bring a smile to his/her face? Bake cookies? Give a surprise birthday party? Make a pot of coffee and spend some time together?
Do you know a family whose house burned down? Do something to help. Call them and offer your support. Share some of your extra possessions with them. Most of us have too many.
Is someone in your apartment building ill? Why not offer to go to the pharmacy for them or take them a homemade meal?
Compassion brings new power to networking. If you know a colleague who is down and out, offer your compassion. Your good deed will come back to you in many ways.
Is someone in your life miserable because of the poor choices he/she keeps making? Try a compassionate approach. Instead of lecturing or saying "I told you so," offer your kindness and sympathy.
Remember: You are far more likely to help someone if you offer an expression of compassion instead of your critical remarks and complaints.
They will feel more empowered and be more likely to return your good will. Live with and act on your compassion, and you'll make your community, and the world, a better place.
Become an ambassador of compassion, and your relationships will soar!
Richard Hamon is a professional therapist and coach with over 25 years of experience. His business, Relationships For Success Coaching, helps people to improve their relationships and enjoy success in all areas of their lives.
Richard has written a unique eBook, The Ultimate Relationship Solution: How Secrets Discovered From A Near Death Experience Can Help You Ignite Passion and Realize Success in All Your Relationships. The eBook tells about an actual Near Death Experience the author had in 2003, which transformed his life and led to a series of insights, revelations and secrets about relationships.
You can find Richard's eBook, The Ultimate Relationship Solution at: http://ultimate-relationship-solution.com/
