Healthy Relationship Advice and Counseling

For some, it's difficult to decide whether they have a healthy relationship or not, for others, it's easy to tell that they have a healthy relationship. When it comes to looking for healthy relationship advice and counseling, you need to understand exactly what it incorporates a healthy relationship in the first place.

A healthy relationship is one where there is complete acceptance of each other. These two individuals have accepted the faults, the good, the bad, and even the ugly in each other and still find a way to admire and respect them at the same time. In order to have a healthy relationship most people need to be happy with themselves first, and then the relationship grows due to the personal happiness. You'll also want to look at basic moral beliefs, basic compatibility, and basic financial management techniques.

In a healthy relationship, you will see that each partner makes the other feel as if they are the greatest person in the world. At the same time that they're doing that, there's a good chance that they recognize that this person has faults and love them anyway. In order for a relationship to be healthy, this acceptance of each other is mandatory. No one is perfect, and this love and acceptance for an imperfect individual is reciprocated by the individual themselves. Once you feel loved and accepted including all of your faults, you can give love and acceptance to another. Adoration and respect grows as you watch your partner's struggle with these faults and try to improve themselves as human beings.

Most people that are in a healthy relationship are very happy in their own little world. They care about themselves, recognize their faults, seek constant improvement, and love themselves as they are. This allows them to find joy in another human being, and accept others with all their human traits. If you're unhappy with yourself, you will have trouble finding happiness with another individual and your relationship is liable not to be healthy. Insecurity, feelings of self-worth, as well as basic unhappiness is a result of someone who is not happy with themselves.

It's important if you're seeking out a healthy relationship that you understand that self improvement of yourself must come first. There are plenty of ways to becoming a healthy individual, and once you're a healthy individual with not just physical health but also mental health, you'll begin to have more healthy relationships. Without acceptance of yourself, acceptance of your faults, and a feelings of self-worth it will be extremely difficult to have an honestly healthy relationship. Look to advice columns, professional counselors, and even free help in your community to better yourself and become happy with yourself.

A healthy relationship is a vital to your own feelings of self-worth. If you find that you're in an unhealthy relationship seek out counseling, seek out advice, and try to better yourself as a human being so you can eventually be happy with yourself and have a healthy relationship.

http://www.answerstolove.com/

Answers About Healthy Relationships

1. What does a healthy relationship look like?

2. What do I do if I love someone and they keep hurting me?

3. What do I do if I love someone and they don't want to commit to me?

4. How do I know if someone is right for me?

5. What do I do if my boyfriend only wants to see me when he drinks?

6. How can I help to heal the wounds of someone I love?

7. What kind of standards should I have in a relationship?

8. What do I do when I don't feel comfortable "being in love" with someone else?

THE ANSWERS

1. What does a healthy relationship look like?

A healthy relationship is based first and foremost on trust. It stems from both people being authentic, genuine, caring about themselves and the other person. There is mutual respect, and appreciation. There is an expressed desire from both people to be in the relationship, and for it to flourish. You would never do to the other what you would not want them to do to you, in any manner, and in any way. Both people are there for each other during difficult times. If there is a disagreement, it is discussed openly and honestly so that you can come to a mutually agreeable solution. There is compromise and acceptance from each person for the other, but never at the expense of your dignity.

Each person knows they are safe to bring up anything that they are not happy about, so that it can be worked out and not fester into more than it really is.

All healthy relationships require personal emotional and psychological health, as well as sobriety. How can you really get to know someone when they are intoxicated? You can't! So it is vital that you are both straight and sober if you want authenticity and clear communication to resolve any matter that may come up.

A healthy relationship stems from both people being open and willing to discuss anything. There is no avoidance, punishment, abuse, neglect, dishonesty, or ill intentions.

There is sexual chemistry that is expressed in a loving and healthy manner, so that you can really make love to the one you are with, from your heart, and have fun while you're at it.

It is based on intellectual and spiritual compatibility, shared ethical standards, and a common bond based on love that will endure any difficult time.

Healthy relationships take work on both parties. They do not just "magically happen" and stay "happy forever after." Each person has to show that they want the relationship to work, and they work hard by authentically communicating - that is the key - it is healthy communication, combined with all of the above. If you've got someone like this in your life, and you love them, then you've found a gem!

2. What do I do if I love someone and they keep hurting me?

Are you a doormat or a human being? If someone keeps hurting you, first you can discuss it with them, and let them know what they did, how you feel, and what you would prefer. If they then change their actions and never do that again, that is fantastic! However, if they keep saying "I'm sorry" and keep repeating their hurtful actions the only thing you can do is leave.

You did not choose to come into this life to put up with abuse in any form. If you are not being respected enough, then it's time you respected yourself enough to walk, permanently.

When someone really loves you, they will do what it takes to keep you in their life. If they are mistreating you, then you have to ask yourself one serious question: "Is this what I really want?" If the answer is "no, but..." then the only one you are bullshitting is yourself.

The more self-love you have, the more of a zero tolerance you will have for bullshit. It takes a LOT of guts to take an inner stand, and show it in your actions, for yourself on the outside. You are not a toy, or a person that has to walk on eggshells to wonder what is coming next.

If you can forgive the other person, and forgive yourself for allowing yourself to be treated less than the way you deserve, then you can walk away without bitterness, and with your head held up high. You can be honest, and the most important honesty is in your actions. If you threaten to leave the relationship, but you never do after repeated mistreatment, then the only one you are really hurting is yourself. You deserve to be treated exactly the way you would treat someone else.

This means that the relationship is equal and reciprocal. Anything less than that is far less than you deserve, and you will meet someone else that can treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Never settle!

3. What do I do if I love someone and they don't want to commit to me?

You date other people, and live your own life to its fullest, and give yourself the opportunity to meet someone that DOES want it all with you.

Real love never dies. You can love someone and still live a full life. You can love someone and not be together. You can love many people in your life, and still be good to them. But to place yourself "on hold" and not even give yourself the chance to meet someone else is perpetual agony.

You can't make someone want to commit to you, or play games either, because they never work. Be really honest with yourself and ask yourself if the person ever let you know that they didn't want to get too involved. If they let you know, then that is your answer. It might hurt, however, if you are getting the truth, you can't change someone's truth.

Imagine if someone was in your life and you really didn't want to commit to them. They would simply have to accept that and keep in living their own life. That is really all you can do, and the most important part of it all is how passionate you are about your own life! If you are with someone to fill a void within yourself, that void will never be filled! YOU have to fill the inner void you feel with all you are passionately absorbed in. Discover your life purpose. The person can be a PART of your life, not your central and universal focus. There is a BIG difference.

Love YOURSEELF enough to really LIVE, and swing the doors WIDE open to meet someone that DOES want to be with you. If the feeling is mutual, and you are communicating, sharing interests, and really being there for each other, that is a LOT better than keeping yourself on the sidelines hoping that maybe someday the person will change their mind.

Get on with your life, and have some faith that certain people enter our lives for profound reasons. Many times it is a lesson in self worth, self value, and self love. The ONLY way anyone will have the capacity to love you wholeheartedly is then they love THEMSELVES wholeheartedly.

There is nothing you can do to "fix" that, You can only heal within your own self, and that is exactly what you deserve to do.

4. How do I know if someone is right for me?

Do you love their company? Can you talk to them about anything in the universe? Can you tell them things you would never tell anyone else? Is there real passion in bed? Do you share similar values and interests? Do you respect each other? Can you be real friends? Are you there for each other during times of need? Do you know each other's family and friends? Are you EACH showing each other in your ACTIONS that "this is it"? If you answered yes to those questions, and you can really communicate, then you are with someone that is right for you. How fantastic!

5. What do I do if my boyfriend only wants to see me when he drinks?

You have two options, because this is YOUR choice.

Option One: You can receive many mixed messages from induced intoxication, and receive even more mixed messages during those sober moments, resulting in much confusion and pain - Or:

Option Two: You can realize that you are with an active alcoholic, and if they do not want to get help, then the only thing you can do is open the door for someone that can give you clear and sober messages all of the time, and create a relationship with a person that loves themselves too much to destroy themselves in front of your eyes.

Alcoholism is a permanent, life-long disease.

Either you are with a drunk, or you are with a person that is sober, period. It's like being with a person that's a little bit pregnant. Either they are, or they are not.

If the person does go to get help at an anonymous meeting place, and is in active treatment to heal, then by all means, if you love them, support them, forgive them, and be there for them, as long as they are being there for themselves!

If the person refuses to get help, and remains a drunk, then your only chance for sanity is to GET OUT of the relationship, so that you CAN have a sober and sane relationship with someone that has the capacity to give this to you.

Give the person their choice. Allow them to make the choice for themselves. You have no right to try to force anyone to do anything that they do not want to do - including heal. You, however, must make the choice for your own sanity, emotional and psychological health, and really get honest with yourself.

It is deeply painful to be with someone that is a drunk. It is even more painful when they won't do anything about it.

It is life renewing when they DO do something about it, and ge the help that they need.

This is a process of deep self-discovery, and requires a LOT of patience on your part to be there for them during a most difficult process.

You can only have a sane and healthy relationship with someone that is sane and healthy. Please remember that!

6. How can I help to heal the wounds of someone I love?

The ONLY way you can help to heal the wounds of someone you love, is when they are really trying to heal themselves.

You cannot "save" or "fix" anyone, anymore than someone else can save or fix you.

We ALL have inner work to do, or we wouldn't be here in Earth School. There is not one person alive that does not have issues to heal, unless they have really healed them in this lifetime.

If someone is deeply wounded, you can love them, and accept them, however NEVER at the expense of your safety and self worth.

So if someone had a terrible childhood, and they are hitting you, then you MUST GET OUT of this relationship - because this is ABUSE.

If someone has difficulty communicating their emotions, then you can understand. There is no such thing as "the perfect person." Everyone has flaws, everyone.

It is the DEGREE of the flaws, and how it is impacting your life, as well as how committed the person is to you in the relationship.

If you are committed to each other, and there is a deep love, then be loving and supportive, always.

If they are using their troubled youth as an excuse to cause abuse and harm to you, then they are just living a life of excuses and doing nothing to really be there for you. So is this what you want? The choice will always be yours.

If someone is actively really working on themselves, and you are not in danger, and you are in a real relationship, then be towards them how you would like them to be towards you.

If you are being mistreated, abused, lied to, cheated on, then you are not being in a real relationship - you are being a real doormat!

Heal your OWN wounds, and then as you grow with more self-love, you will see the difference in what you will and will not tolerate. Always be true to yourself - this is the only way you can ever have the capacity to be true to someone else.

7. What kind of standards should I have in a relationship?

Each person is different, and each person has preferences that they absolutely could not live with, or without in a relationship.

Ask what yourself what you are really looking for in a person, and how you really want to be treated. Ask yourself what really matters to you, and what is not so important.

For example: Some people "must" be with someone that is intellectually deep and stimulating, where someone else would absolutely abhor intellectual conversations and intellectual stimulation.

Some people love food, a lot, and want a partner that also loves food, cooking, eating out, etc. Where someone else really doesn't care that much about making food a central part of their lives, and would rather read a book.

I firmly believe that when we are whole inside, have self value, feel self love, and know what WE are all about, THEN we can easily attract a great partner that is our EQUAL.

It all boils down to your preferences. There may be certain things someone may do, like leave the entire toilet seat up when you like it down. Can you live with that? Some people couldn't care less, and some people are fanatical about that.

Then there are character traits that can fall in the "must have" "must not have" and "can live with" area - even if it drives you nuts at times. Some people are more impulsive, and some are more methodical. One is not "better" than another, they are just different, and really can cause a bit of frustration. However, they CAN be lived with, as long as there is acceptance and tolerance in differences in character traits.

Some people love to travel, and "must" have a person in their life that also loves to travel a lot, and often, while another person may just like a get-a-way once in a while.

Your list of standards in what you desire in a life partner must be solely based on your truth. This way you can really have a blast, go through ups and downs, and still be in love when all is said and done, because it was based on truth the entire time, and that is something that will endure for eternity.

8. What do I do when I don't feel comfortable "being in love" with someone else?

If you don't feel comfortable "being in love" with someone else, that is because you have not yet fell in love with yourself first!

It is time for you to really take a good hard look inside of your heart, and up-root every untruth you have ever been told, every lie you ever bought into about yourself, and every insult that you have ever called yourself, and replace that with pure self-love, without an outward condition attached to it.

When you can really feel your own value, and you can appreciate all of the good that you really are, THEN you will feel comfortable "being in love" with someone else, without the fear that you will somehow be consumed, controlled, or lose your self completely.

No one can ever control or consume you, unless you allow them to do so. Start to allow yourself to slowly feel the love you have inside, and take tiny steps to show that on the outside. Once you see that the world is still the same, and you are actually safe, then you can take another step with more confidence.

You can only give what you have inside, so it is not so much that you are not comfortable being in love with someone else, as it is that you have not been comfortable really loving YOU.

True love for Self does NOT come from ego. Self hate comes from ego. So it is a valuable lesson to love every part of your being - especially the parts you want to disown. It is important to view ALL of you as worthy, and not just certain parts of you. There are many people that have many different challenges in life. Some physical, some emotional. However, each one is an inherently special and precious spiritual/human being - including you!

Once you re-train your mind to view yourself with more love and acceptance, then you will more easily and comfortably be able to show this to someone else in return.

© Copyright by Barbara Rose, Ph.D. All rights reserved.

Barbara Rose, PhD. most widely known as "Born To Inspire" is the best selling author of "Know Yourself", "If God Hears Me, I Want an Answer!", "Stop Being the String Along", "If God Was Like Man" and Individual Power. She is an internationally recognized expert in the field of personal transformation, relationships and spiritual awakening. Barbara is a pioneering force in incorporating Higher Self Communication, the study and integration of humanity?s God-Nature into modern personal growth and spiritual evolution. Her highly acclaimed books, public speaking events, tele-seminars, widely published articles, and intensives have transformed the lives of thousands across the globe. She is the founder of IHSC -Institute of Higher Self Communication, inspire! Magazine and Rose Humanitarian Alliance. Barbara holds a Ph.D. in Metaphysics and works in cooperation with some of the greatest spiritual leaders of our time, to uplift the spiritual consciousness of humanity. Visit her website http://www.borntoinspire.com

Healthy Relationships Rekindled

How about a weekend get away to rekindle your marriage relationship with vigor and health? That is what we did last weekend!

Going back a few years my husband came up with a great idea, "A weekend away from home at home."

At the time he worked away from home during the week. All 3 of our children were adults and had families of their own so it was just the two of us. I was self-employed and worked from home part of the time. When my husband got home for the weekend (sometimes he was able to work a 4 day work week) he was ready to stay home. I sometimes had the urge to go somewhere and do something different.

It was complicated to go somewhere for the weekend because it meant my husband had to get ready to leave home immediately after being gone all week. And when we would return on Sunday afternoon from a weekend outing, he would again immediately have to leave to go back to work. Also we had animals that required making arrangements for someone to stop by and take care of each day. Plus, it cost a lot of money to go somewhere, get a hotel room, eat out, and do whatever activity we might chose to do.

A weekend away from home at home gave us both a break and we could look forward to a relaxing weekend. It only required a little preparation and planning to make it successful.

Preparation included making sure the house was tidy and clean. We planned simple healthy meals with grocery shopping completed ahead of time.

We set our own rules for the weekend. The rules varied according to the current situation but we always kept in mind that we were not to do anything we could not do if we were really away from home.

Of course, we have to feed and water the animals but that only takes a few minutes each day. We work together to clean up any mess left from cooking our simple healthy meals. It is not fun to have a dirty kitchen at the end of the relaxing weekend.

A weekend away from home at home gives us the opportunity to talk and discuss personal (and sometimes business) goals. It is a time to reflect and plan. Over the years we have done things like read short books together or watch a movie. Typically we do not watch TV or spend time on the computer unless we want to look something up that adds to our discussions.

Some simple physical activity is important such as a nice walk or hike. We live in the mountains so a hike or a bike ride is always fun. Just spending time together with no distractions makes the weekend special.

Occasionally, one evening we will go out for a date to a nice restaurant and pretend we are dating again (after 50 plus years).

We may entertain ourselves with our own karaoke (my piano playing) since we both enjoy singing. Now this is an exception we allow ourselves on this weekend away at home because I use the piano at home as we sing ole' time favorites.

Last weekend was the first weekend away at home we had done in quite a long time. Somehow with taking care on 2 houses (one in CA and one in NM), overseeing my mother-in-law's care in a nursing home, my mother living with us for several months a year, and various other things; we had forgotten to take this time for ourselves. This last weekend has rekindled our desire to get back into planning a vacation or weekend away from home at home several times a year.

When was the last time you really planned a weekend get-away retreat with your spouse?

My blogs usually focus on health and nutrition but how can you be healthy if your relationships are not healthy? And how can your relationships be healthy if you do not put time and energy into making them the best they can be? I would love to hear about special times you have had with your loved one or ones. Tell me about it in the comment section below.

My hope for you is a rekindled relationship!

Pat Moon is a health and nutrition coach. She gives her readers helpful information on how to stay healthy with proper nutrition. You are invited to visit her blog at http://www.bestrealhealth.com Her articles provide up to date, practical tips on how good nutrition reduces the risk of serious illness. Pat has worked in the health and nutrition industry for over 25 years. Your comments and questions are welcome and useful in writing future articles.

Thank you for visiting and commenting.

3 Secrets For a Healthy Relationship

For some people being in a relationship can be very challenging. Marriage is supposed to be full of romance, fun, security and safety. For some couples they have been blessed with having succeeded in actualizing this ideal. For many other couples, unfortunately, they have instead experienced conflict, anger, insecurity and loneliness. These couples are left bewildered, confused and disappointed, wondering what "marriage" is really all about.

There are three key factors that determine the quality of the marital relationship. They are; respect, personal emotional health and realistic expectations. When these "three keys" are working well the relationship can flourish.

1 - RESPECT

The concept that a husband and wife being equal partners is an essential factor in a successful relationship. The abstract concept of "equality" applied in action is the behaviour of respect. When a husband and wife behave respectfully with each other they become assistants, each enhancing and supporting the other.

The behaviour of respect is typically characterized by:

1) Gentleness of Speech- soft vocal tones void of criticism and anger.

2) Loyalty- my spouse as opposed to someone else, like my religion or country, is always right. This is commitment to loyalty is acted upon in speech and deed.

3) Democratic Decision Making- both husband and wife have equal power in decision making.

2 - PERSONAL EMOTIONAL HEALTH

The "act of marriage" does not mean a person has automatically all the necessary emotional resources to succeed. For example, growing-up in a home where as a child a person was not respected or even abused can leave deep psychological wounds that need healing as an adult. Parents that argued and disrespected each other did not provide the necessary role-modelling needed to learn what a healthy and respectful marital relationship is like. As a marriage counsellor, I have worked with many people that find it very difficult to be emotionally intimate with their partner because of the hurt they experienced as a child. When individuals come from childhood homes characterized by multiple separations between parents and severe ongoing conflict they often fear accepting the responsibility of making there own family. They may get part way, for example they marry, but they won't agree to have children. Or they have a child and for some inexplicable reason they become depressed or want to leave their partner. Some solutions to repairing these childhood deficiencies are:

1) Reading self help books.

2) Observe healthy families. Try to get invited to their homes and learn.

3) Participate in psychotherapy with a professionally trained therapist.

3 - REALISTIC EXPECTATIONS

Creating a family requires the successful transition from one developmental stage to another. Just like children learn in sequence to role-over, sit-up, crawl, stand and walk, etc. families go through clearly demarcated stages of growth. They are; courtship, marriage (commitment), living together, getting to know each other, producing a child, raising children, being together after the children have left and growing old together. Each of these stages requires realistic expectations. For example, while in the "raising children" stage expecting to have the same passion and excitement as during the "courtship" stage as very unrealistic and can lead to unfair criticism of one=s spouse and chronic disappointment. It is certainly reasonable to make increased intimacy and passion a goal at any stage of the relationship-but goals shouldn't be confused with demands or entitlement. Not knowing what to expect can make one vulnerable to letting feelings make the decisions. Feelings are useful information, but should not run someone's life. The mind should rule the heart. Some helpful ideas to help develop realistic goals are:

1) Read about different stages in family development.

2) Talk to friends and family members who have already been through it.

3) Consult with a professional Marriage and Family Therapist.

These three key factors; respect, personal emotional health and realistic expectations are all interrelated. They each impact on the other. For example, someone with unhealed childhood wounds may find it difficult to respect their partner.

By learning and working in all three of these dimensions, or one at a time, we can all eventually have a realistic chance of having the marriage and family we want and deserve. Healthy relationships are the greatest opportunity for personal happiness. Perhaps, in some situations it may not be realistic to expect marital bliss, but with sincere effort we can in most cases achieve friendship, companionship and even a little excitement when together.

Abe Kass, M.A., R.S.W., R.M.F.T., is a registered Social Worker, registered Marriage and Family Therapist, certified Clinical Hypnotherapist, and award-winning educator and writer. He has a busy family therapy practice working with individuals, couples, and their families in Toronto, Canada. Abe is a member of the Ontario College of Social Workers, the Ontario and American Associations for Marriage and Family Therapy, and the National Board for Certified Clinical Hypnotherapists.

For more information about Marriage visit: http://www.gosmartlife.com/products-page/maritalpartner-harmony/ or Visit http://www.GoSmartLife.com for more Self Help and Improvement Information.

Healthy Sex - Helping to Create a Healthy Relationship

The experts in the field of sex and health always keep experimenting on core issues. They might differ on many issues, but they agree on one point that the act of 'sex' produces certain types of hormones that bring happiness to the mind and body of the people involved. And these helping hormones help make human bodies more fit and the minds healthier.

The experts also claim that pleasurable sexual intimacy promotes wellness, as the act of sex boosts certain chemicals in the body, the chemicals which protect us against certain diseases. Strangely enough the experts place their views that sex, including masturbation, might help easing the pain in joints and muscles. It could combat depression, promoting health of heart, and thus lengthening life span. 

There is a growing awareness among the couples that great sex is not a gadget of sky that just happens by a chance of like that. But it can be learned in a shared and an open manner. There can be experiences, which could yield greater rewards than a good sexual relationship. It is experience of most of the persons that a good sex life means a good relationship with his or her partner or spouse and this makes the life happier and stress free.

Some leading consultant psychiatrists go to the extent declaring that the act of sex is a way of bonding at the physical, mental and emotional level and that certainly leads to good health. If the sexual act is used as a mechanical process, it may have limited benefits. But the men and women should keep in mind that the sexual satisfaction creates a feeling of being wanted. On a larger scale that feeling of being loved and wanted works to help clearing many psychological roadblocks.  

For reading similar articles on relationship, you can visit the following links.

HEALTHY SEX HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP

HOT SIGNS FOR ATTRACTION

The article sent is original one, and I am not connected with any person or company attached with publishing business. I write the articles using what I have read in various newspapers and websites freely available to the public.

Apart from doing literary writing, I'm a writer, a novelist, I try to see how a particular event would and could affect people living in its immediate surround.

Health Fundamentals For A Healthy Life

Everyone desires wealth, a better world, and a brighter future. Most of us work extremely hard to get there, even at the expense of our health. We take our physical health for granted and place inordinate amount of stress on our system. The result of that is we gain wealth now but pay with our health later in our years. Our fundamental value of how we perceive our health must change to avoid landing into some chronically diseases. Irony is that everyone desires to be in a place where people are free of ailments and worries; and everything is fresh and vibrant. But we unconsciously or consciously never make it there.

How can you possibly change that? It requires a fundamental change in placing value on yourself and your health first. Health is wealth, this old saying so true. Ask yourself if you are living to work or are you working to live. Those are two different things; when you are living to work your reason for your existence is to just work hard. On the other hand, when you are working to live, you strive hard to earn enough just for your needs and balance your time in keeping a healthy body and savor life. This is what health fundamentals are also about.

Fundamentally, being healthy should be your number one priority. When you are in good health, you can perform your tasks well and as well enjoy leisure activities with your loved ones. Yes, when you are healthy, you can also build more healthy relationships through patience, love, and bonding. To promote good health among your loved ones, good health must be reflected within you first. You cannot promote something that you do not have.

When your body is healthy, your mind follows suit. You can think clearly, decide wisely and do things almost perfectly. Eat healthy and engage in healthy activities like yoga and meditation. What you take in your body will reflect on what you do. When you are nourished, you can also nourish your loved ones. Your renewed health fundamentals will also let you keep in touch with your inner self.

Your inner self is a power that resides in the depth of your being. When you are in touch with this power, you can have strength and wisdom in continuing your life even if it is full of struggles and hardships. Living with such fundamental principles in life, even during these hard times, you will keep your health. Getting in touch with your inner self will also let you bless your relationship and bless the world. They say if you are noble, you will find the world noble.

However, today not everyone practices this fundamental knowledge that first promotes health in body and then in mind and spirit. Once we loose our physical health, we loose material and spiritual wealth as well. If we have good health in our body mind and spirit, only then we can spread this wellness to others around us and feel content & peaceful.

Thank you for your time & attention to this subject. Please read more and share with your friends the Change your Health Fundamentals Before Its Too Late for long life health benefits awareness

Rakesh would like to invite you to check out more articles on wellness, health, health tips, natural home remedies, healthy relationship advice etc. Most importantly you can Opt in to receive FREE mini course and alerts on new information posted on the following blog site:

http://www.promotehealthwellness.com

Healthy Relationships - How to Develop Them

There are many people whose preference is to have healthy, happy relationships with the people in their lives... whether they are parent-child relationships, marriage or love relationships, family relationships, friendships, or even relationships with work colleagues. Building healthy relationships is a normal and natural desire. In fact, healthy relationships are a vital aspect of mental health, and general health and wellness. So what do we need to know about building and maintaining healthy relationships?

Let us define some of the qualities of healthy relationships:

Each person takes responsibility for their own needs
You can easily discuss conflict and differences, without blame
The relationship is important to each person involved
Each person communicates openly and honestly
Abuse is absent -- this includes physical, verbal, or emotional abuse
Each person has healthy boundaries -- can say "no" to requests without feelings of guilt

Certainly, it is important for each party in a relationship to understand, and be able to practice these aspects when interacting with others. It is my belief, however, that the key to healthy relationships is found, first, in our interactions with our Self, with our Inner Being.

What is your relationship like with your Inner Being?

Are you in conflict with yourself?
Do you ever heap blame on yourself?
Do you get angry or frustrated with yourself?
Is your relationship with your Inner Being important to you?
Do you communicate openly and honestly with your Inner Being?
Do you abuse yourself...with thoughts, or words?
Can you follow your inner guidance without feeling guilt?

If your relationship with your Inner Being is not a healthy one, then keeping up a healthy relationship with others in your life could be challenging for you. The relationship you have with your Inner Being is the most important relationship you will ever have... and every other relationship is a reflection (in some way) of that most intimate, inner one.

Do you ever feel angry or frustrated with yourself, or blame and criticize yourself? Your Inner Being never argues with you, or blames you, or gets angry or frustrated or disappointed with you... your Inner Being always beams pure, positive, love energy to you -- without exception. If you blame or criticize yourself, then you are in conflict with your Inner Being -- and you feel that tension through negative emotions.

Do you value your relationship with your Inner Being? Is it important to you to feel good, and feel happy? When you value your relationship with your Inner Being, then you make every effort you can to feel happy, and to focus your attention on thoughts that feel good when you think them.

Do you communicate honestly and openly with your Inner Being? This is as easy as tuning in to your emotions. Your emotions give you feedback about your relationship with your Inner Being...when you feel positive, happy emotions, then you are in tune with your Inner Being. Negative emotions show that you are thinking of something that does not agree with what your Inner Being knows.

Do you take time to nurture your relationship with your Inner Being? Do you nurture and soothe yourself? There are many ways you can nurture your spirit...you can meditate or listen to soothing music. You can also nurture yourself by thinking of someone you love, or taking a warm bath, or by taking a walk, or by just giving yourself permission to chill...just for a moment.

Do you abuse yourself with thoughts or words? It always feels good to receive support and encouragement from others...but we can also be supportive and encouraging toward ourselves. This can mean not asking or demanding too much of ourselves in time and effort -- by realizing that you don't have to do whatever-it-is this minute. We can applaud our efforts, and focus on what we did right (and not what went wrong).

Can you follow your Inner Guidance without feeling guilty? Do you trust your emotions and your 'gut' feelings? I have noticed that when I follow my 'gut' feelings and trust my emotions, my path always leads to new and improved experiences -- I feel inspired, and creative, and passionate, and alive.

So...what is your relationship like with your Inner Being?

If you make the effort to improve your relationship with your Inner Being, and make it a healthy one, then every other relationship in your experience will also improve, and you will enjoy healthy relationships.

Bec Owen is the founder of The Happiness Group website which is dedicated to sharing ideas, insight, and inspiration for creating real happiness using the Law of Attraction. If you are interested in exploring these topics further, visit her website at http://thehappinessgroup.com to find more practical tips and techniques on how to apply the Law of Attraction in real life.

(c) Copyright - Becky Owen. All Rights Reserved Worldwide.

Having a Sexually Healthy Relationship Can Improve All Areas of Your Life

Seeking a sexually healthy relationship can be accomplished by paying close attention to details in all areas of our life. Having the desire to improve is the starting point of any worthwhile dream or goal. So by defining the problem, you can take the appropriate measures in relieving the symptoms and re-energizing your sexual health.

Modern science has found many cures for the unbelievably amount of ailments that can effect your health. Choosing to inform yourself on these subjects can have everlasting benefits. The human psychology plays a major roll on how we function sexually. Trying to keep yourself as stress free as possible will help tremendously in accomplishing your goal. Leaving your work problems at work is considered sound advice as many have come to realize that you must learn to adjust to your current surroundings and not worry about the things that you have no control over. The other steps that you may choose to take are taking care of your health, staying physically fit and pampering yourself by keeping yourself well groomed. When you look good, you will also feel good about yourself. Having the confidence and assurance that you are taking the proper steps to keeping yourself sexually healthy, will enable you to function at your optimum potential.

Studies have proven that all natural treatments are better for the human body and with minimum to no known side effects. When choosing anything that you feel will benefit your health keep this in consideration.

Staying socially active and continuing to interact with other people with the same interest as yourself, will definitely have you on the right track. Staying sexually healthy has a very profound effect on everyday living and will help you with finding and maintaining a sexually healthy relationship.

To your healthy lifestyle!

I have been a musician for more than thirty years and am still learning. Thank you, for allowing me to share with your readers one of my health goals.

Warm Regards: J. Marquez

Family Dynamics of Recovery - Establishing Interdependent Relationships and Learning to Be Healthy

Growing up in an addicted family creates a host of interpersonal and "intrapersonal" conflicts. One of the most common, yet complex conflicts acquired in an addicted family is the intrapersonal conflict over the need for dependence and independence.

Remembering that alcoholic or other addictive families create a climate where stability and consistency is nonexistent. Children are dependent on the family for developing a clear sense of individuality and self-esteem. They are dependent on the physical and emotional resources of the family. They are dependent on the family for learning how to recognize and process feelings. If there are no consistent resources available in the home for these characteristics and skills to be established, the child grows up knowing that they cannot depend on others to have their needs met. They learn to be "independent" and to rely on themselves-in some ways. In other ways, they don't believe that they can really depend on their own skills, perceptions, or feelings, because they have also learned not to trust these characteristics in self.  Not trusting their own inherent worth, they seek out partners with potential, so that they can invest their own resources in the development of their significant other.

Children growing up in alcoholic homes are frequently plagued with anxiety, self-doubt, and inability to make decisions. Sometimes when people from dysfunctional families find their way into recovery, they grab hold of some basic knowledge about enabling and the need to stop that.  They learn that it is important to be assertiveness and "independent", so they try to eliminate dependent behavior. Those just beginning to heal from family addiction, do the opposite of what they have learned to do in their childhood, believing that to be recovery. Some move from extreme dependency to extreme independence or "counter-dependence". In reality, counter-dependence does not equal "independence".

Counter-dependency looks very independent on the surface, but is a response to fear of dependency needs. If those recuperating from dysfunctional family systems apply themselves long enough and hard enough, they will ultimately come to a point somewhere in the middle on the "dependence/independence" continuum. Somewhere in the middle is "interdependency". This is the healthy place for individual identity and relationship behavior. Growth, as marked on a continuum, involves movement across the various points on the line between the extreme ends.

Resolving the independence/dependence conflict means moving from the "extreme" dependency position of inappropriate caretaking and enabling to cooperative problem solving about relationship issues. It means moving from "giving" to feel safe in the relationship to "giving" to feel the joy of giving. It means moving away from obsession and pre-occupation with the feelings and behavior of others into conscious responsibility of one's own reactions, feelings, and behavior. People in recovery stop trying to meet the imagined expectations of others.  They learn to identify and meet their own reasonable expectations of self. They stop anticipating the needs of others while ignoring their own needs.

As people strive for independence and self-efficacy, and move into health, they do not ignore or trample on the feelings and needs of others. They practice respect and courtesy, while caring about the needs and feelings of others without taking control or responsibility for them.

Healthy interaction with others involves a change from being responsible for others, to being responsible to them. That involves being honest and real with others about what you see and what you feel in regard to their behavior.

In the process of being responsible for one's own health, wealth, and happiness, the healthy, "interdependent" person can cooperatively participate in relationships. To cooperate does not mean to be a door mat, but to be flexible while maintaining appropriate boundaries. Mending actually means being able to engage in cooperative, mutually satisfying relationships, where giving is done freely without resentment and hidden expectations. Healthy people can be themselves, while allowing others to be themselves. Healthy people don't "build walls".  They set and maintain "proper boundaries". Walls create isolation and loneliness.  Boundaries create empowerment.  Healthy people can take life's challenges in stride and deal with problems as they occur.  They perceived themselves to be generally competent. 

In relationships, they can accept positive criticism from others.  They tend to be optimistic with life events, finding within those events, opportunities for growth.  They have positive expectations about their relationships with others.  They expect to like and be liked by others. They can be patient and tolerant of others' differences, and can promote the growth of significant others.  They don't live in fear of abandonment.

Remember that recovery is a process, not an end state. Recovery is about moving toward these characteristics, abilities, and worldviews.  The process is continuous. Nobody does it perfectly.

Dr. Peggy L. Ferguson, Ph.D., LADC, LMFT, Marriage/Family Therapist and Alcohol/Drug Counselor. Whether you are dealing with addiction issues, emotional or mental health issues, relationship issues, or need some additional living skills, my website is available to you. The "Links" page offers a wide range of resources for additional help. There is a "Recommended Readings" page and an "Ask Peggy" column. My site is a work in progress with additional features, articles, and resources being added to it on a regular basis. Check it out at http://www.peggyferguson.com

Click here to ask Peggy a question about this topic or others or to subscribe to a newsletter that will alert you to additional informational and educational opportunities on this topic and others. http://www.peggyferguson.com

Benefits Of Healthy Love Relationships

Some people say that love is the answer to everything. During bad times and good times, in sickness or in times of good health, love keeps you in sync with your true self. But did you know that love can also fill you with positive energy and help you to maintain good health? True love is like a natural medicine that redeems you from the pain of living.

Natural stress-reliever: Love is extremely effective in reducing your stress levels. When one is in love and also involved in an intimate relationship, the adrenaline glands produce a hormone called dehydroepiandrosterone (DHEA), which minimizes a person's stress levels. Passionate love making relieves one from mental tension, negative energy, and also keeps us fit. Sex can help you to burn fat and maintain your cardiovascular health.

Reduction of pain: Love has been proven beneficial in reducing pain as it activates the part of the brain which handles pain in our body. Headaches, back pain or any kind of pain can be extracted away by love. The next time pain overcomes you, you know what to do.

Increase in blood circulation: Do you remember why your cheeks used to turn red when you talked to your crush in high school or had your first kiss? It was because happiness and the feeling of love increase our blood circulation. Similarly, when you are in a healthy love relationship your circulation will improve, resulting in glowing skin, better hair, and a happier you.

Increase in life expectancy: It has been proven in a study that the average single person is five times more likely to die at an early age, as compared to the average married person. It is because married couples feel connected, loved, and have a sense of belonging, which enhances their health manifolds. Also, when you fall ill and you know that someone is there to take care of you and love you then you automatically feel motivated to be better. You have the right attitude and support to overcome illnesses.

Decreases blood pressure: One study found that expressing love either verbally or physically reduced cholesterol in the body. When cholesterol is kept at a healthy level, the blood pressure remains in check. This, in turn, allows us to have a healthy and fit heart, thus, making us live longer.

Quicker healing process: When faced with an injury such as a wound, couples have been found to heal faster than single people. This is again because the blood circulation remains under control, allowing an adequate amount of nutrients to heal the wound over time. Single people took twice as long to heal similar wounds.

Forever young: Our body releases an anti-aging hormone when we experience euphoria and contentment. Therefore, couples look young for longer, as compared to singles.

Healthy love relationships benefit us in numerous ways. Therefore, one must try to be happy and also keep their partner happy while in a relationship.

Learn more about healthy love relationships and love relationships benefit

Enjoying Healthy Relationships Through Yoga Meditation

We all know that the practice of yoga meditation can benefit us in, both the physical and the mental disciplines. And such practices have grown so vast that it has braved the test of time. A classic, so to speak.And healthy relationships through yoga meditation is achievable. And the practice of such does not only limit with meditations or flexibility, it also helps its practitioners in achieving a healthy relationship. As you practice yoga meditation, you learn how to respect your body. You learn the importance of being fit and enjoy its benefits. With this, one learns the importance of Respect, which is very vital in a healthy Relationship.

This word here is an important factor, an important key to the success of a relationship. With yoga meditation, one learns flexibility. First this term would only refer to the physical aspect. But later as the yoga meditation practitioner progresses, he slowly understands the meaning of his activity beyond its physical aspect alone. He learns that he can apply what he has learned not only in its exercise state but also in the life as well. Flexibility now becomes an applied character. So the practitioner now has a broader sense of understanding and is now capable of adjusting well, both in a crowd or in a relationship as well.

In here the yoga practitioner learns RESPECT! During the practice of yoga, one develops Mind Power! A key ingredient, to better equip a person in his/her journey through life. In here one learns how to cope, adjust and even know when to fight back in facing the challenges in life. In the relationships point of view, a yoga practitioner can apply the concept of Mind Power, by showing to his/her partner that he/she knows how to control his/her emotions, as well as the yoga practitioner knows when will be the proper time to react to a certain situation. In the practice of yoga meditation, one learns the concept of fulfillment or shared happiness as a goal, and this can be learned through shared love and thoughtfulness.

All these are basic elements needed in a relationship. These are basic elements but vitally important as well. Imagine a relationship without thoughtfulness and shared love, it's like a house built beside a riverbank. A relationship bound to be doomed. But a healthy relationship built on strong and sturdy grounds of shared love, thoughtfulness and respect is like a house built with strong foundations and elevated grounds. In here the yoga practitioner applies the concept of COMMITMENT! Balance is another factor taught in Yoga Meditation, which is very beneficial in a sound and healthy relationship. In here the practitioner knows how to weigh situations and decide wisely as well.

This concept lies in the aspect of "a balanced mind, leads to emotional and physical control as well." Your level of Awareness also enhances. A yoga practitioner here begins proper control of his well being and his partner. As a result your partner's level of Trust to you strengthens and thus you gain Respect and later Commitment begins. These three bonded together as one is a powerful foundation needed to build a strong and healthy relationship. These can all be learned in the practice of yoga.

The author of this article Rose Windale is a Health and Wellness Coach who has been successful with several natural health programs for many years. Rose decided to share her knowledge and tips through her website http://www.healthzine.org. You can sign up for her free newsletter and enjoy a healthy and happy life.

Signs Of A Healthy Relationship - 3 Signs of a Healthy Relationship That Signal a Healthy Love Life

What are the signs of a healthy relationship and can reading about them guide you to create a healthy relationship? Let's find out....

Healthy Relationship Sign 1: Multiplying your blessings

It is a good practice to look for the signs of a healthy relationship. It is much better to look at your relationship from the perspective of what is good and what is working well, than to look at it searching for faults and flaws. That is just a fundamental piece of good personal psychology tantamount to always looking on the bright side of life. When you count your blessings, you activate that part of your mind called the Reticular Activating System and, as a result, you spot more and more good things in your life. You will find that this is a major sign of healthy relationships. People in healthy relationships look for the good in each other. They reinforce the positives by giving all their attention and appreciation towards what they like and enjoy about their partner, and accept and play down those things that they cannot change. This creates an on-going cycle of appreciation, enjoyment and love for one another.

Healthy Relationship Sign 2: Putting in time and effort

Another one of the major signs of a healthy relationship is that each partner has accepted the fact that love and romance do not just happen by themselves. They need to be worked at. And people in healthy relationships have a tacit understanding of that. Each partner puts in the time, effort and creativity necessary to create relationship magic. At a pragmatic level, this involves being kind, thoughtful and affectionate with your partner. It translates as hugs and kisses, compliments on appearance and achievements, little gifts and loving notes, acts of thoughtfulness and care. Basically, you do everything you can reasonably do to add joy to your partner's daily experience and to increase his or her feeling of happiness. This is the act-ion of Love, something you commit to doing every day.

Healthy Relationships Sign 3: Two powerful individuals

Another one of the main signs of a healthy relationship is that each member of the couple is a unique, strong and independent person. A useful metaphor for a healthy relationship is that the two people involved are like two powerful upstanding pillars. Together they can support the relationship aloft. But if one of the pillars is leaning over onto the other pillar, the relationship becomes unstable and falls. There are of course lots of times when you will need the support of your partner and will lean on them in those times. The signs of a healthy relationship though are found in 2 people who are strong and independent, who understand the give and take of relationships, and work hard to stay in relationship credit by regularly investing their time and energy into the relationship in ways that their partner appreciates and benefits from.

The way to relationship health

By looking for the signs of a healthy relationship, you open your mind to new ideas that can shape and improve your romantic love life. With all of life's challenges, it can be hard to stay on your toes and do all the things you wanted to do when you first started out to make your relationship terrific. With all our busy-ness, staying creative and coming up with ideas to enhance and make our relationships healthy can be challenging. That is why I found 'The 50 Secrets to Blissful Relationships' such a godsend. It's packed full of ideas, advice and tips gleaned from couples who have built healthy, long-term love relationships that have survived the distance and grown from strength to strength. I think whatever you can get your hands on to shortcut the process of creating healthy relationships is worth its weight in gold and it's my pleasure to recommend that resource to you (see my resource box below). Emulating the success of others is a great strategy employed in all the best marriages and, yes, another sign of a healthy relationship.

Want a 'fairy tale' relationship? They do exist! Don't miss out! Discover the secrets to a blissful relationship at: http://www.blissfulrelationship.com Find out all the signs of a heathy relationship and the secret strategies that happy couples use to build amazing successful relationships that grow more joyful and fulfilling every day!

Copyright 2007 Anne Amore ~ May you be now and forever blessed with love. So it is.

Healthy Relationships: The Ultimate Supplement?

We are all concerned with taking good care of ourselves, eating healthy and choosing vitamins and supplements that do our body good. We will spend extra money on organic foods and maybe even go out of our way to make fresh meals for our families. But there is a something that we forget to take into consideration regarding our health.

It's our relationships. Humans are highly social. We're not designed to be solitary or live in isolation. In fact, our society considers solitary confinement as the ultimate punishment. But we forget just how important our relationships are. Our connection to others can stimulate our brains. When we interact with others it gives us a feeling of belonging, and this is vital for good mental health. When we have the opportunity to express ourselves to others and be able to hear other viewpoints in regards to a variety of circumstances, we are able to raise our consciousness to a higher level. Not only is this how we learn, but it also gives way to spiritual growth.

Studies have shown that those who are mentally healthy have solid meaningful relationships and a strong support group that they interact with on a regular basis. I hope you have noticed that I have mentioned healthy relationships in this article. I am not talking about controlling, manipulative, domineering, or abusive relationships. These are toxic and raise big red flags regarding your mental health. I am talking about healthy and supportive relationships that are positive and stable. There are ways to start making new friends and begin socializing with the right type of people by volunteering, joining a club, or getting involved in your local community.

Remember, it takes a little time to nurture and build relationships, so be patient and learn to be open to new people. You can reconnect with good friends that you may have lost touch with by reaching out over the phone, or sending an e-mail.

Let's not forget the power of our furry friends. Pets have long been known to aid in the longevity of good health with their endless supply of unconditional love. Animals can give us a feeling of importance and take our focus off of problems for a while. They help us lighten up and release stress.

So, the next time you are looking for that magic vitamin, take a friend out to lunch or play catch with your pet, it will do a body good.

Marla Sloane, Ph.D., is the author of The Masks We Wear and How to Live Without Them," which is the topic of her teleclasses; From Ordinary to Extraordinary...Unmask Your Potential. The seminars teaches individuals how to stay balanced; emotionally and spiritually. She is a noted expert providing phone counseling sessions and has written numerous articles about releasing stress, how to find your authentic self, and the importance of living in your truth. Her Positive Affirmations subscribers have reached world-wide proportions, and Marla has also produced, Trilogy of Meditations, for your Mind, Body, and Spirit: helping you reduce stress and obtain inner peace. The CDs are distributed nationwide, and in Europe.

You can visit her web site at: http://www.marlasloane.com
Sign up for free affirmations at: free positive affirmations

Mind Body Spirit Health, Do You Know How to Keep All Three Healthy?

Here are some ways we can create our mind body spirit health and keep all three healthy. Making sure our three bodies are working at their top performance is essential for good health.

Our first part of mind body spirit health is our mind, subconscious or emotional body, this body works invisibly to help us achieve our goals in life. We have control over it to some degree and are able to reprogram it to help us achieve what we desire most.

Our emotional body

We need to keep our subconscious body healthy by keeping good relationships and fixing broken ones. If we keep hold of old broken relationships and don't try to fix them, either by healing the relationship or by forgiving and then forgetting the relationship then our emotional body still feels hurt, and the hurt can cause other problems.

Another thing about our subconscious body is that it keeps thousands upon thousands of situations and thoughts inside itself. If any of these thoughts or situations are not fulfilled or completed then we are renting rent-free space in our brain for those hurtful or unfulfilled things. If we can complete those things or forgive and forget, we can open our emotional body to better and greater things to come.

One way to help our emotional body is by talking to ourselves in a mirror. This may sound funny at first but it is a very good way of helping our emotional body in its health. We can start out by asking ourselves

"How are you today?" and "It is good to see you again." Then we can start by saying "I would like to complement you today on..." We then start to list all the things that we have accomplished today. They can be very little things like going for a walk, or chewing our food properly so that our digestion will work better, or that we made a step towards a better relationship with someone, or that we are doing more exercise, or we are completing one of our goals.

Our emotional body loves hearing all these praises and it will thank us afterwards by giving us a happy and satisfied feeling. After we are finished talking to our emotional body, we can tell ourselves in the mirror that we love ourselves.

Having a healthy respect for our self is a very important part of mind body spirit health. Telling our emotional body we love ourselves, helps a great deal in balancing our bodies, because many times we may feel that our life is missing love, or friendship, or we may be unsatisfied with our physical body and because of that unsatisfied feeling, our emotional body is affected.

However, when we tell ourselves that we care and we do love ourselves our emotional body becomes happier and is then more willing to listen to our needs.

Next on our list of mind body spirit health is our physical body. This is a very important part because our physical body has a big affect on our emotional body as well.

Our physical body.

We need to keep our physical body fit, strong, and healthy by doing daily exercises, by eating right and by doing our best to live a stress free lifestyle. If we can achieve these things, our physical body will be in top shape. We will feel full of life, energy, vigor, strength and confidence.

Our emotional body will thank us for our efforts because from having, a well toned and healthy body, we create good remarks and admiration from others. We also have good sex appeal. Our emotional body loves these things, so by keeping our physical body healthy we start to help our emotional body as well.

The last part of our mind body spirit health exercise is to help our spiritual body. Doing this will greatly help the other two bodies work together nicely.

Our spiritual body

We can keep our spiritual body happy by giving in charity to others in need, by being kind and humble to others, by praising God or the universe, by setting an example for others to follow.

Anything that we can do that will help others in living better, in feeling better and in learning more about God or the universe makes the soul happier. Our souls are happiest when they are in tune with God or the universe. So, by doing acts of kindness and charity to the less fortunate ones, we can further our progress towards the greater good.

If we can practice on a daily basis, be kind to everyone, be humble to others, and learn to forgive and forget, our souls will develop a great happiness, which will help us to become balanced in all three of our bodies.

Acharya D Hargreaves, is a published author of two health books, Digest Alive Lose Weight and build a great body Naturally, Digest Alive The Natural Cure to Heartburn and the owner of [http://www.natural-way-to-lose-weight-fast.com] a website dedicated to helping overweight and obese people with their weight problems.

"Obesity and Overweight issues are signs that our bodies are unbalanced, to naturally Lose weight quickly and keep it off, we need to make our bodies feel the need to balance themselves out, when this happens we will lose weight fast and keep it off." He says.

In his spare time he likes to do 3D modeling and work with Art and writing, Acharya D Hargreaves lives on an Organic fruit orchard with his wonderful family.

Personal email: sight800@yahoo.com

Communication - The Key to a Healthy Relationship

The newest computer can merely compound, at speed, the oldest problem in the relations between human beings, and in the end the communicator will be confronted with the old problem, of what to say and how to say it. -- Edward R. Murrow --

How to say it. Ah. That is the question. That is the difference between a fight and a conversation; between kids or animals running for cover and a quiet evening at home; between divorce and a happy marriage.

The importance of healthy communication cannot be underestimated. In this sometimes emotionally stunted society of ours, we have downplayed the importance of interpersonal communication to the point where it affects not only our own health, but the health of others. (In some cases, it affects your health because others are unwilling to communicate with you. - I will write on psychic vampires [those who suck your emotions dry] at a later time.)

Think about how many of the world's problems could be solved with healthy communication. Think about how many of your own problems could be solved by healthy communication. Yes, but there's the key word there - healthy communication.

We all communicate, it's how we communicate which is the issue. How many people do you know who refuse to speak to someone because of their pride, or because they don't want to get into a "confrontation."

But not all communication to work out problems wind up in 'aggressive confrontation.' Some people just - talk. Who in your circle would you have a better relationship with if you were able to more effectively communicate with them if ego would allow? Your parent, child, friend, spouse, co-worker? How much better would you feel? How much would airing things out help your own health and well-being? How much more would it allow you to effectively meet the challenges of everyday life if you didn't have emotions inside you simmering like a pressure cooker, or if you weren't in a constant state of battle?

Certainly not everyone is experienced at win-win communication, and chances are if you are, you will eventually run into someone close to you who is not. Everybody has different communication styles. What is yours?

Non-assertion: The "inability or unwillingness to express thoughts or feelings." (Adler & Towne, 2004) This style stems from low self-esteem or lack of knowledge of other communication styles (ie: it was not modeled for them). ((

One form of non-assertion is avoidance. This can be either physically removing yourself from someone's presence, or by simply refusing to talk about the issue by changing the subject, joking, etc. ((

Accommodating is also a form or non-assertion. Some people will simply 'give in' to avoid conflict. This is often a co-dependent's solution: putting other's needs above their own. ((

Non-assertion is not always a bad thing. There are times which you have to 'pick your battles", for instance, where speaking out may cost you your job, or where the relationship either doesn't mean enough to you to expend the effort, or means so much that it's too small of an issue in the big picture. More often than not, however, people who are nonassertive either have too little confidence or don't know how to ask for what they want.

Direct Aggression: Lashing out with attacks, whether it be verbal (character attacks, ridicule, etc.) or physical.This can be not only ineffective, but damaging to the target and the relationship.

Anybody who has suffered the effects of direct aggression can attest to the damaging effects it has on them as the target. Often it is committed by those who have such low self-esteem that they need to 'feel bigger' than the person opposite them. They do this by any type of attack that allows them to feel strong, when in reality, it weakens everything about the relationship they are communicating in.

The worst part of direct aggression is the 'domino effect' it produces. Words are powerful things. One aggressive comment can lead to defensive aggressive reactions. The idea is to allow your communicating partner to respond, not to push them into a corner by having to react.

Passive Aggression: The act of 'pushing someone's buttons,' so to speak, with subtle verbal or non-verbal messages without confronting the person directly. Sometimes called "crazymaking" (Adler & Towne, 2003), this is one of the most difficult forms of communication to deal with if you are on the opposite end of it. Passive aggression stems from a great amount of hostility and a severe need to control one's own life without risking criticism. It may result in extraordinary resentment on the part of person at which the behavior is targeted, which can lead to a complete breakdown of the relationship, over a period of time.

Passive aggressiveness can come in many forms: people who avoid conflict altogether; those who say they understand your feelings but continue to act with the same intent; those who lay guilt trips on you; those who 'hit below the belt' with intimate knowledge they know will upset you; those who give you the 'silent treatment'; those who make a joke about everything and those who tell you they will help you, but sabotage you in some way. If confronted, the passive-aggressive person often just denies intent.

An example of passive aggressive behavior might be a person who tells you they will help you get a job interview because they know someone, who then subtly sabotages the meeting in some way. (

Passive aggression is never a good option for long-term results and can severely damage individuals and relationships.

Indirect Communication: Sending indirect messages through hinting, or a third party. This can be a way to avoid conflict by taking initiative, but without hostility, and might be a preferable option when one person wants to help the other "save face." (Adler & Towne, 2004) Indirect communication is one of the most common ways people try to convey messages. ((

How many times have you 'hinted' to someone that you are ready to leave their party early by saying you have to work the next day, without having to tell them you aren't having a good time? It saves face for them.

In the vein of avoiding confrontation, some people may send messages through other people. By making a comment about the target person to a third party, the target may or may not get the message but, if they do, they may feel that they have been 'backstabbed,' which starts a cycle of hostility which makes communication more difficult in the future.

While at times useful, the problem with indirect communication is that there is the risk that the intended target may not get the message. If the message is that important, a more direct, assertive, approach is necessary.

Assertion: The ability of the communicator to express their thoughts and feelings in a clear manner which does not undermine or attack the other person. Delivering your message, expressing what you want and feel, in a non-judgmental manner can be one of the most effective ways to resolve a conflict. If done appropriately, it minimizes defensiveness in the other person, allows them to clearly understand what you are saying or asking for, and is usually your best chance of resolving conflict with "minimal damage." (Adler & Towne, 2004)

Everybody may be capable (or culpable) of all of these behaviors at some point in time. The question is, do you recognize it and change it when appropriate, and how do you handle the behavior when it is targeted at you? How best do you present yourself in an assertive, non-confrontational style? There are some things you can do:

Respect Boundaries: If you know that something is a 'hot-button issue' don't throw it in their face. Disrespecting boundaries is one of the quickest ways to escalate a conflict.

Stay Focused on the issue at hand: Don't bring up things from the past that have nothing to do with the current issue. This is very close to crossing boundaries. By staying focused you honor both you and your partner without mucking up the water. When you feel an issue veering off course, bring attention back around to the topic at hand.

Actively Listen: Listening is one of the most important, and sometimes one of the hardest things you can do. Some of the problems people have with listening are: thinking about what they will say next instead of listening and responding; getting defensive; interrupting. When people feel they aren't being heard, they may feel that their feelings are being discounted and/or invalidated, which leads to more anger, and an escalation of the situation.

De-escalate: If you see the situation heating up, speak in a calm tone of voice. Repeat back to them what they have said so they know you listened to them and so both of you have a clear understanding of the intent of their message. If things are getting too hot and you feel you cannot calm it down, then take a break. Don't storm out of the room, but calmly explain that you feel that things are too escalated and you are going to go into the other room so both of you can calm down. When you do leave, breathe.

Empathize: Try to see things from their point of view. It doesn't mean you will agree with them, but if you at least can understand where they're coming from, you have a better chance to acknowledge & validate their feelings so that both of you can come to a solution.

Use "I" messages: When speaking, use "I" messages rather than "you" messages. Don't say "You always make me feel so unimportant", say "When you forget to call when you won't be home for dinner, I feel unimportant." This way you are taking the responsibility for the feeling, but you are associating it with a behavior, rather than risking it sounding like an attack on them personally.

Admit your mistakes: When you recognize that you've made a mistake -- admit it. T There is nothing more maddening than someone who refuses to take responsibility for their own actions. Admitting a mistake and apologizing for it is a sign of strength, not one of weakness. It will clear the air and allow both of you to focus on a solution.

Change your response: One of the first rules of psychology is "if you want to change somebody else's behavior, change your own." In other words, if you respond differently, they will in turn change their behavior because they are not getting the response they expected. Many times, behavior is meant to do just that, elicit a certain response.

In rare cases you may run up against a person who is completely unwilling to communicate or is such a master manipulator that no matter what you do, they will find a way to start an argument with you, or make your life miserable. They may be so passive-aggressive that it just turns into 'crazy-making,' or they may simply flat-out refuse to acknowledge there's a problem and refuse to listen or discuss the possibility of it at all. In these cases what are you to do?

The broad answer is, "Take care of yourself." If you are being hurt by the situation, you need to take care of yourself, first and foremost. The method by which you do that, however, can only be found by your own introspection and assessment of how important that specific relationship is to you. If you are being hurt, and you have sincerely tried every option to stop the incoming behavior, you need to make some decisions about how important the relationship is to you.

But introspection is the start. To make the types of decisions you need to make in situations like these, you need to know yourself. Getting in touch with your own higher-self & spirituality has a healthy and calming effect on your life. Resolve to meditate, play, relax. Giving to yourself in a loyal, loving and devoted way can open up a communication process within yourself that may well protect you from psychic vampires as well as preventing you from becoming one.

Communication. It's fundamental. It's how we operate. By learning a few basic techniques, and by communicating with our own higher being, we can become more content, better equip ourselves to rise to the challenges of our everyday lives, and better communicate with others &/or understand how to deal with it, even when they won't.

References:

Adler, Ronald, B., & Towne, Neil (2003). Looking Out Looking In. 10th ed. Belmont, CA: Wadsworth/Thompson Learning.

Adler, Ronald, B., Towne, Neil, & Proctor II, Russell F. (2003). Interplay. 9th ed. Oxford, NY: Oxford University Press.

Creating Strategies. (2008). Retrieved February 9, 2008, from the World Wide Web: http://www.creatingstrategies.com/articles/communication_tips/deescalate_a_conflict

Stress Management: about.com. (2008). Retrieved February 9, 2008, from the World Wide Web: http://stress.about.com/od/relationships/ht/healthycomm.htm

Lisa Larson (Spiritcaat) is an intuitive consultant and has a master's degree in human behavior.

For intuitive coaching for communication and relationship problems, see http://spiritcaat.com

For other spiritual resources, visit http://www.mysticalpedia.com

Am I in a Healthy Relationship?

Frequently, my clients and members of our website ask me, "Is my relationship healthy? How do I know if it is healthy?"

Just as physical health is on a continuum, emotional health and relationship health are also on a continuum. And, like physical health, each person may have different criteria regarding what constitutes health. For example, some people say they are very healthy if they get a cold or flu a few times a year, while others' health criteria is that they never get sick at all.

For some, a healthy relationship is two people who never fight or argue, or who take care of each other and basically agree on everything, or are very easy-going and give in to each other.

For others, a healthy relationship is a relationship filled with sexual passion, while others believe that a healthy relationship is when two people can talk things out in ways that reach resolution.

Rather than looking for an external definition of a healthy relationship, I suggest that you look inside and define for yourself what is very important to you in a relationship. While your relationship may have all the traditional characteristics of a healthy relationship, if it isn't what you want, then it may not be a healthy relationship for you.

Glenn, in his early thirties, was ready to get married and start a family. He had been in a number of long-term relationships that had ended for various reasons. When he consulted with me, he had been in a relationship with Katherine for 3 years. She was pushing to get married and he was resisting, but not understanding why.

Glenn and Katherine had much in common. Both were intelligent, emotionally open people, and they both wanted children. They had similar spiritual beliefs, handled money in similar ways, and enjoyed the same activities. Their sex life was good. So what was in the way of Glenn wanting to marry Katherine?

"I don't look forward to spending time with her. We don't seem to click when it comes to talking. I love to delve deeply into feelings and ideas. I love sitting at the kitchen table and talking for hours without knowing how late it is. With Katherine, conversation is difficult. Everyone thinks she is so perfect for me, but I don't feel "in love" and I think it's because we don't play off each other with our humor and we can't get into in-depth conversations."

Glenn had never before articulated how important this was to him in a relationship. Without this, the relationship was flat.

It was hard for Glenn to end the relationship with Katherine, because even though he wasn't in love with her, he did love her and didn't want to hurt her. But he knew he was not going to marry her.

A year after ending his relationship with Katherine, Glenn met Liz at a party. From the moment they started to talk, Glenn felt that, not only had he known Liz all his life, but that they could talk for hours. And talk for hours they did - and they still talk for hours after getting married and having children. Glenn says he is delighted with his healthy relationship!

So what does a healthy relationship mean to you?

A healthy relationship is one where: (you might want to mark the ones that for you constitute a healthy relationship)

We can talk about anything without fear of the other's anger or withdrawal.
We support each other in doing what makes each of us happy.
We each take responsibility for our own feelings and are able to share love, rather than expecting the other to fill us up with love.
We laugh easily together and have a lot of fun with each other.
We have similar interests and enjoy much companionship.
We each contribute financially.
We each contribute with household responsibilities and/or childcare.
We find each other endlessly interesting and always look forward to spending time together talking and sharing ideas.
We have deep trust, respect, and admiration for each other.
We have a wonderful sex life.
We are both very affectionate and love to hold, cuddle, and kiss.
We share common spiritual values.
We have the same religion.
Other - add your own.

We each have the right to decide what is most important to us in a relationship. If you find that you are not in a healthy relationship, don't despair! By doing your own Inner BondingR work, there is a good possibility that you CAN heal your relationship.

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books, relationship expert, and co-creator of the powerful Inner BondingR process - featured on Oprah. Are you are ready to discover real love and intimacy? Click here for a FREE CD/DVD relationship offer, and visit our website at www.innerbonding.com for more articles and help. Phone Sessions Available. Join the thousands we have already helped and visit us now!

Healthy Relationships Revealed

Healthy relationships are dependent on the health of the people in the relationship. This is not exclusive to physical health; in fact the physical health is lower in importance for realizing a healthy relationship. Mental and spiritual health are the most influencing factors when it comes to the health of a relationship.

Mental health

The easiest way to explain mental health is to say it is how an individual views and treats themselves. Yes, mental health is often influenced by outside stimuli, but it still boils down to how the individual responds to that stimulus towards themselves. Besides, life in itself is nothing more than an accumulation of outside influences and experiences. It is how that individual responds, grows and matures from those experiences that measure their mental health. By looking at it in that manner, it is much easier to see how important mental health is to a healthy relationship. If someone does not have a healthy relationship with themselves, then they will not be able to experience or contribute to a healthy relationship with anyone else.

Spiritual health

While typically people tend to associate spirituality with religion, there is actually a great difference between the two. For the concept of healthy relationships, we will have to separate the two even more. Spiritual health is better associated on how an individual views and treats others. This is our spiritual health because, if we are kind and generally loving to others, we tend to be spiritually sound. But if someone generally takes advantage of others and generally mistreats people, then their spiritual health is very lacking, and over time can completely dissipate. Spiritual health may be more apparent to the contribution of a healthy relationship, as it is how someone treats others. Since a relationship is the cohesive interaction and growth of two individuals, each individual's spiritual health is important.

The interesting thing about the spiritual health is that people who have a poor spiritual health will typically find themselves partnered with those who have poor mental health. This type of coupling tends to produce not only an unhealthy relationship, but more likely a completely toxic relationship. When people get depressed, place their personal happiness on the shoulders of someone else, they open themselves to those who thrive on that negative energy. It is this type of relationship that is most common, and of course the most damaging to both individuals. People with sound mental and spiritual health might find themselves with someone who is lacking in either area, but they will remove themselves from this unhealthy relationship as soon as possible. Failure to do so, will begin to drain on their own health, until they eventually, for lack of a better word, compliment their partner deficiency.

Understanding these basic foundational concepts will provide you with the pathway to be able to contribute and experience healthy relationships. Not only healthy romantic partnerships, but friendships and even family as well. If you find yourself in unhealthy relationships from time to time, then that might be a good indicator for you to look at yourself. Now if you find yourself in those toxic relationships, especially if they seem to go on and on for long periods of time, then you must immediately look at yourself. Focus on your own mental health. If you are unable to look at yourself alone, then get some help. Work on the things you don't like about yourself, retrain the way you treat yourself. Focusing here is where your efforts will pay off the most, as an individual's mental health will affect their spiritual health. Raise one, and the other will follow. Sometimes your mental health will depend on your physical health. If so, then start there.

The most important thing to remember is that if you want to have a healthy relationship, you have to be healthy yourself. You cannot depend on someone else to do this for you. It is completely impossible. Healthy people will not stay with unhealthy ones. And if you are able to bring a healthy person to an unhealthy level, then it is no longer capable of being a healthy relationship. So fix your broken parts till you can smile at yourself in the mirror. Treat others as you wish to be treated. Respect yourself, and don't allow others to take advantage of you. Be willing to go out of your way for someone special for nothing in return. When you are able to be at that point, you will find yourself with someone similar to you, and the two of you will experience the most incredible, lasting, healthy relationship you ever imagined.

The Romance and More website Romance, and Relationship Resources

The relationship enhancing, romance inspiring, intimacy bringing, bedroom shaking, thought provoking, truthfully speaking, tastefully sexy, yet delightfully wicked website for the hopeless romantic deep inside all of us.

Creating A Healthy Physical Relationship

Experience the uplifting boost of the natural equivalent to Viagra. Feel young and active again. Regain the vim of your younger years. Activate and push the right inner buttons to build inner conditioning that contributes to staying power. You do not put your heart at risk of failure because of overloading it with a sudden burst of energy your health does not support.

A gradual build up from the inside with these vitamins and minerals is insurance you can do what you want. You have prepared your body for the task that is to come. And you do not have to worry about Physical let downs. Improper physical exertion will overload the heart. With proper ingestion of these action fueling products,you can get back in the driver's seat and stay there.

Good physical health is a must. Then we can do things we want,without fear of a health problem. The interest and ability to partake in satisfying relationships. It is vitally important that we condition ourselves for normal living. Nothing better for a man,and nothing makes him happier than knowing that he can function again.

But there are many causes of sexual dysfunction.

Loss of interest,

Serious medical conditions,

Psychological disorders,

Fatigue,

Overwork,

Lack of sleep,

Lets say these are all cousins. All relating to that same common statement...Not tonight honey,I just do not feel like it.

We can do something about the way you feel.

Arginine,

Dhea,

Coenzyme Q10,

Ginko Biloba,

Gla,

Magnesium,

Vitamin C,

Vitamin E,

A dedicated regimen and intake of these will have you working out in no time. You can take pride in being a real man again.

The world of information sometimes is what allows us to improve our quality of life. At [http://www.bertrush.com] we strive to inform the public with in depth info and quality but life giving products

Foundations For a Healthy Relationship, Steps to Making Your Relationship Great

Many people are in denial in regards to their relationship. We all want the fairy tale yet many of us have the soap opera. We have the soap opera but continue to believe that we are in a healthy relationship. We pretend we are in a loving, supportive, respectful relationship when in fact most of us are borderline miserable. If you want to build your relationship into a healthy, happy one, then here are some ideas.

1. We often project a false image and deny who we are so for the sake of the relationship we do things that we really don't like, we develop phony persona's and then we are stuck. You should be who you really are and not play this game. Have the confidence to be who you are whether you are going out with someone new or if you are in a committed relationship. In a healthy relationship partners do not try to remake each other - they love each other for who they already are.

2. When you communicate, both talk and LISTEN. Someone once said that the good Lord gave us two ears but only one mouth so we would know to listen to each other. By listening, and hearing your partner out you will begin to build the trust that you need to be successful as a couple. Each of you should have a safe place in your partner. Find a healthy way to communicate, if your partner does something to bother you, you should be able to express it and be heard. Put away blame, anger, ridicule, and arguing and communicate with respect and maturity - this is the way to a great, healthy, and loving relationship.

3. Do opposites attract? Opposites often seem exciting to each other at first, but a relationship with two who are complete opposites may grow very old. So be careful about an initial excitement and be sure your relationship ages well. If you and your partner are worlds apart on the things most important to you then there may be problems. But if you can respect your differences and opinions then you may have a chance. It is a real challenge though if your core values are different. You expect fidelity and your partner believes in open relationships, you want children and your partner does not - these differences may cause real problems and lead to lots of fights if you are not synced up on them. There is no need to waste your time on a bad relationship so carefully pick your partner. Your partner doesn't have to be "perfect," your partner just needs to be right for you. Picking your partner right is the thing that will lead to a respectful, fun, loving, and healthful relationship.

Discover the best techniques to build a healthy relationship in your life. Click the link or just go directly to http://www.TheMagicOfMakingUpFast.com and get your free relationships report.