The Importance of Marriage Counseling in Saving Marital Relationships

Nowadays, the prevalence of couples that are going through marital problems is increasing in numbers. To a Christian community, separation and divorce are not the solution to marital problems. Every relationship undergoes rough patch. Almost every one of us experience problems that are brought by indifference, money or financial problems, jealousy, third party and other marital problems. Those people who would like to save their relationship undergo marriage counseling from a Utah marriage counselor or anywhere else they are in the world.

Marital problems are not only brought by problems such as financial instability and third-party relationships. It may even root from the use of drugs by one of the member of the family resulting to depression, anxiety and other mental disorder. If this will be the reason why there are problems in the family, the person involved must undergo treatments and counseling from Utah family therapist, Utah therapy, Utah mental health or any other institution that helps in guiding those individuals to become a better person.

Some marriage counselor's advice couples to have time dating in order to know one another much better. The couples must be given the chance to know more and discover what the couple likes to happen in their relationship. Dating can be an excellent healing process because it allows both parties to remember the times when they first met and the sweetness as well as the love that was developed between them. It can also bring fun to their lives. Marriage counseling often includes dating as a part of repairing broken marriages.

Since almost all couples argue, arguments are normal. In a relationship, someone is always right, and someone is always wrong regarding any argument. The only difference matters on the acceptance of whoever is right and who made the mistake must learn to swallow their pride and be humble in accepting that they are indeed wrong. Although it is so hard to admit that we are wrong, at times, it is extremely beneficial for a person to admit their wrong deeds in order to save the marriage. You and your partner must handle any issue professionally and not by throwing plates or things that are in the house.

Some married couples who have hard times in fixing their relationship seek guidance and professional help from a marriage counselor. Utah marriage counselors or any other counselors for married couples today can teach couples on how to manage their fears, emotions and anger, insecurity and many more. One of the most common reasons for marital problem is infidelity. How many families today are broken because of this issue? If only those who experienced infidelity of their husbands or wives are brave enough to say that they are a victim of infidelity, then we can give a definite answer to that question. Most people prefer to keep silent in order to save their families from shame and rumor or gossip.

Why is marriage counseling so effective in resolving marital conflicts? This is because marriage counselors listen carefully to both sides. Marriage counselors actively listen that is why clients would feel at ease to open up and talk more regarding the things that are bothering them. If only both partners know how to give and take and listen carefully, then there are no broken marriages or broken relationships. Listening is the basic principle in counseling.

In summary, the reason why marriage counseling can save marriage is because of the ability of most marriage counselor to listen carefully with any concern that the couple has. Marriage counselors will listen to whatever things that their client may say and then they provide feedback that will help resolve the issue or give solutions to the problem. Always remember in times that a marital problem gets into worst; seek professional help from any marriage counselor in the community that have proven effective results in saving a married couple.

Sherwin Ree E. Miras has been in the field of handling Utah family therapist for a long time and maintains a Utah marriage counselor company where you can get answers to the rest of your questions.

Marriage Counseling Advice - Here's What You Should Look For When Choosing a Marriage Counselor!

For those of us looking for marriage counseling advice on how to choose the right marriage counselor, there are many considerations we need to take in to make our decision. You should most definitely want to choose a marriage counselor who has a successful marriage.

What I'm saying is do you want someone who is happily married, divorced, with or without children, or a male or female counselor? These are very important factors you need to think about in choosing a counselor to help fix problems in marriage.

You need to be able to trust your marriage counselor enough to be open and honest with them. They should be able to handle issues that cause breakdown in a marriage. Issues like infidelity, anger, unemployment, sexual dissatisfaction, or lack of communication.

The first thing you should is seek advice from friends or family who have used a marriage counselor. If they recommend someone and you trust them, then you may not need to search for a counselor yourself. There are many counselors that don't have professional training or a license.

Make sure you choose someone with a licensed mental health professional. Make sure that they are available outside of the session too. You should be able to call your counselor for help if there is an emergency in your marriage or you really need someone to talk to.

When you and your spouse first visit your marriage counselor you should feel comfortable with them. If you both are unsatisfied after the first visit then look for another counselor with the same considerations in mind to avoid wasting both time and money.

Marriage counseling generally costs $100 per session. There are many couples that can agree with the fact that a relationship isn't a bed of roses, and that it takes work for them to succeed. With that in mind, for marriage counseling advice in choosing a marriage counselor this should definitely help you in making your decision.

Are you interested in a eye-opening, jaw dropping guide that helped me learn about saving relationships? If so, please visit here - Marriage Counseling Advice

Marriage Relationships

Marriage is regarded as a spiritual as well as an intimate bond between two people. In other words, it is a relationship between two people with two separate sets of views and feelings. In contrast to unmarried people who may be cohabiting, divorced, or single, married people enjoy many benefits in the form of higher degree of happiness, better physical and mental health, and improved financial position. But, a marriage relationship becomes fruitful only when the husband and wife face all challenges together, whether it is personal challenges, problems regarding raising children, dealing with family members, financial problems, or other daily pressures of life.

Good marriage relationships are generally marked by honesty. They are based on a foundation of agreement, made up of commitment, honor, love, moral ethics and sacrifice. When a couple steps into marriage, it is important to understand that both of them owe obligations of mutual understanding, care and fidelity to each other. Requisites for a healthy marriage life also include matching up of couple's ages, characters, lifestyles and views.

In order to build lasting marriage relationships, it is important to observe effective communication, mutual trust, ability to overcome problems together, and giving each other the attention and respect that both deserve. It is advisable to spend some time with your spouse, either by doing exercise or taking leisurely walks together. It is also equally important to have sexual intimacy, as it can deepen marriage relationships. Above all, an ideal couple must have the ability to compromise on issues such as career, finance and children. Practices including date nights help to sustain an intimate bond between the two.

To ensure healthy maintenance of marriage relationships, counseling programs or pre-marriage courses become relevant. At present, a lot of counseling firms provide special courses and programs for marriage help, love advice, relationship advice, relationship challenges, relationship counseling, relationship forums, relationship help, relationship problems and relationship skills. With the introduction of the Internet, online counseling has also become popular.

Relationships provides detailed information on Relationships, Online Relationships, Relationship Advice, Relationship Quiz and more. Relationships is affiliated with Interracial Couples.

The Keys Needed to Unlock a Successful Marriage in Your Relationship

Marriages are crumbling in America. There are many reasons why marriages are failing and it would be impossible to name all of those reasons here. Times are changing and people's concept of marriage has changed. Some people are waking up to the fact that they were probably better off single. Some chose an incompatible mate but chose to have a family and stayed with their mates. Many people chose to be married but live separate lives. Whatever the case, marriages are definitely on the rocks.

The family unit is giving into the pressures of society as far as how relationships are. On television, most families are characterized as being schizophrenic, sex crazed or having serious problems with extended family members. This has an effect on American society in which television has distorted what the family should be striving for which is an element of understanding, harmony or peace.

What has really did damage to marriages is the fact that parts of the civilized world has defined marriage as the woman wanting to be secure (home, possessions and security) while the man provides these things. Women are waking up and providing these things for themselves, making decisions for them, which according to patriarchal rules, is a no-no. So most women are choosing to be single and most men are not committing because of various factors. Society is changing as far as marriage, communication, and other aspects is concerned.

Most marriages are breaking up because of not understanding the purpose of the other individual. People want to expand their horizons of self worth within marriage and because of traditional rules that were made up to keep relationships subject able, many people are escaping that mentality of slavery in any kind of relationship.

So if you are married, there are several things that you must do to create an atmosphere of harmony between you and your spouse and here are some of those elements to make your marriage a happy marriage.

1. Create a portal in which your mate can explore her/his real life passion.

This is very important. Even within a marriage, each person is an individual. Though communication and socialization is important for better relationships, we all have our personal desires. You should help your mate accomplish their individual goals.

2. Give your mate plenty of room to grow and experience life.

Just because you are married does not mean that it has to turn into a prison. Let your mate do the things that they need to do to make them happy.

3. Make sure that your mate has significant time to themselves to think about their life purpose.

This is important. Everyone needs a time for reflection so provide your mate with those private times that he/she needs to get their mental and spiritual thoughts together.

Marriage and Family Counseling - Really Important!

Marriage and Family Counseling is important. Marriage and Family counselors help couples work out their problems to develop a system of love, trust and oneness in a relationship. Counselors can dig and see the root cause of the problem through enabling effective communication skills to overcome challenges for the couple or family. Marriage and family counselors are mental health professionals who bring a family perspective to a person, couple or organization. They treat families, mental, emotional and various health and behavior problems.

If you have children, it is great to have them as a part of the program since they are a part of the family. Marriage counseling considers peripheral characters, such as the Mother-in-Law, Father-In-Law, other relatives and the effects that they have on a successful marriage. This is accomplished via personality interviews with extended family members.

Marriage counseling brings out controversial issues. It could be some elements of a spouse's past that are hidden which affect the relationship deeply. Many of these issues can stop a marriage cold, such as incest, rape of a relative and abuse in a previous marriage. When problems like this occur, marriage therapy is truly needed to solve the problem. If your mate agrees, then this is one way to improve your marriage or else, the misery will continue.

Creating Fields of Love with Marriage

Many married couples are always confrontational because they can not forgive and forget. Some couples never recover from the problems in a relationship but choose to stay the course while being totally miserable with the choices that they made. They stop romancing each other and doing the things that allowed the relationship to flourish in the first place.

If you seek the professional help of a marriage counselor, they can provide a battery of tests and evaluate to study, comprehend and obtain new solutions for helping couples in their marriage. Most individuals resign themselves to live under a roof of controversy and loudness. This is detrimental to people who have families. Counseling is great and can heal the wounds of a person, family or extended family. Counseling can focus on brief, solution-focused, family-centered treatment which is center towards the cause of problems in your marriage instead of the symptoms. If you are married, you might want to consider this kind of treatment to resolve your problems.

Recognizing Certain Problems in Marriages

These issues are widely known to cause problems in marriages:

- Families facing severe mental illnesses and emotional disorders, such as schizophrenia and depression.

Many marriages have to take on the extra responsibility of a loved one or parent coming down with an illness. Sometimes, this causes pressure on one or both people in the relationship and can be financially taxing. The trend is to put that person in a nursing home or facility that can treat their disorder but a married couple can turn these kinds of situations into gold if they plan correctly and realize that not all is bad. This could actually enhance and help the marriage if looked at from a proper perspective.

- Substance abuse

A big problem in marriages is when a husband or wife has a drinking problem. Substance abuse can lead to spousal abuse. It can also cause children to become upset and carry memories of abuse for a long time. This issue has been studied for years and now, local governments are implementing free programs for spouses that have a problem with substance abuse to get help.

Overall, marriage can be a good deal if you really work at respecting each other and love each others purpose. This comes through better communication. It takes time to improve your relationships. Enhancing your communication skills is one of the quickest ways to improve your marriage because it is the key to an effective marriage.

Joshua Uebergang is owner of Tower of Power, an Australian communication skills company, where he can give you free relationship-communication skills to enhance your marriage and any relationship you have with people. He has a free newsletter on relationships you can sign up to where you'll get a bonus video on communication and relationships upon subscribing.

Build a Stronger Marriage by Setting Relationship Goals

When you consider what your relationship needs, consider the laws of gravity. An object that is set in motion will continue to move, unless something stands in its way. On the flip side, a motionless object will never move unless something acts upon it. Your relationship or marriage will remain inert unless you act to put it and keep it in motion. And, just as day-to-day goals keep you moving from one task to the next, setting goals for your relationship will infuse your relationship with that vital momentum.

When you and your partner work together to create goals that improve or maintain the health of your relationship, you also create an atmosphere of collegiality and companionship. Relationship goals will help you and your partner remain focused whenever the relationship goes through the difficult transitions that all unions experience. These goals can also act as the antidote to the stagnation and lethargy that can creep into any marriage over time.

Establishing relationship goals does not have to be a complicated process. In fact, the simpler and more straightforward the goal, the better. The biggest challenge you'll face is remaining consistent in your efforts toward reaching your goals.

Working toward your relationship goals means working to become a better partner to your mate. A word of warning, though: Do not establish goals for your partner! Focus on establishing your own goals, your partner should focus on his/her goals, and the two of you can create joint goals (e.g., traveling more, spending more time socializing with other couples, sharing household tasks).

Relationship goals--Where to begin:

First, pick an area of your relationship that you'd like to work on. Here are some examples:

1. Communication goals: How can you become a better communicator? This might involve asking your partner more questions about his/her job, not interrupting your partner while s/he is speaking, or stating your needs more directly.

2. Compassion/support goals: This might involve asking your partner what s/he needs, driving him/her to a doctor's appointment, or setting aside a certain amount of time each day to check in with each other.

3. Affection/love goals: How often and how clearly do you express your emotions? Being affectionate can take on many different forms: directly with loving statements; through touch, such as hand-holding or a shoulder rub; or by establishing special gestures that only the two of you share. Establishing goals to be more demonstrative means finding creative ways to express loving feelings on a regular basis.

3. Negotiation/compromise goals: Being in a committed relationship means learning to compromise. Taking steps to appreciate your partner's viewpoint (even when you may not agree with him/her) sends the message that you take your partner's needs seriously. Negotiating and learning to "agree to disagree" are essential for the health of your relationship.

4. Commitment goals: You can't feel an intimate connection with another human being unless you first feel safe with him/her. When you demonstrate commitment, you lay the groundwork for emotional safety and therefore, for intimacy. Think of commitment like a safety net: even during difficult times, that commitment will be there to break your fall. Establishing commitment goals might involve spending more time with your partner or making decisions that clearly demonstrate that your relationship is a top priority in your life.

5. Physical intimacy goals: Take steps to become a more attuned, responsive sexual partner. For instance, take the time to discover all the ways in which your partner would like to be sexually satisfied or come to an agreement with your partner regarding how often you'd both like to make love.

6. Shared interests/activities goals: The most successful married couples cite friendship as a key ingredient of their long-term success. Work toward developing activities that you both enjoy and that you both enjoy sharing with one another. You might try a new activity together each month, such as taking tennis lessons or learning to speak a new language.

7. Household responsibility goals: How involved are you with completing household chores? Does it feel like the work is equally or fairly divided? The mundane details of daily life (things like cooking, shopping, cleaning) should be negotiated, not just assumed by default. Find out if your partner is happy with the current arrangement by asking if there is more that you can do.

This list is by no means exhaustive. Reflect on the areas of your relationship that you'd like to improve. Do some introspecting on your own and also think back to feedback you may have already received from your partner. For instance, if your partner has questioned your commitment by noting, "You never call when you say you're going to," you can develop a goal to show your commitment by becoming more reliable in following through on your promises.

Is your relationship worth protecting? Are you ready to make your marriage everything it can be?

Find out how to create the relationship of your dreams: Sign up for the free Relationship Toolbox Newsletter at http://StrengthenYourRelationship.com/ and immediately receive two FREE reports that will help you achieve your relationship potential.

Rich Nicastro, Ph.D. is a relationship coach who is passionate about helping couples protect the sanctuary of their relationship.

Marriage Relationships - 7 Warning Signs That You Have Let Your Marriage Go

Do you know how some people "let themselves go"? Similarly, sometimes couples let their marriages go also. Just like neglecting your body can affect your physical health, neglecting your relationship can affect the health of your marriage. Read on to discover seven warning signs that you have let your marriage go.

What does it mean when people "let themselves go"? Generally, it means that they have quit investing their time and energy on their bodies. They may have gained weight because they are not exercising or eating the proper foods. Maintaining their looks is no longer a priority. Perhaps they have quit paying attention to their wardrobe, hair, or make-up. Over time, this can take a toll on their appearance and perhaps on their health.

The same thing can happen to marriages. Couples quit investing themselves in their relationships. They get too busy or they are too tired to spend time together. Also, they quit making each other feel special. Our bodies and our marriages take work to maintain in top condition. A lot of times, people do not even realize that they have neglected their marriages until they have drifted apart.

Here are five warning signs that you have started to let your marriage go:

1. You no longer do things together.

Spending time together keeps you in touch with each other. We all change over time and if you are not spending time together you will end up as two strangers living separate lives while living in the same house.

2. You no longer have common interests and goals.

If you quit doing things with each other, you will lose interest in each other. Over time you will not longer have anything in common.

3. You do not talk to each other any more.

Spending quality time talking keeps your relationship cemented together. It is the only way that you will keep up with your spouse's current goals, desires, and dreams.

4. You do not do special things for each other any more.

Doing those special little things for each other is one way to express your appreciation and love for your mate. It helps you and your spouse feel special about yourselves and your relationship.

5. You have quit touching outside of sex.

Nonsexual touching helps you to connect emotionally and also sets the stage for connecting physically. If you have quit touching outside of sex, then you probably have started to let your marriage go.

6. You are more irritable with each other.

Even though irritability can stem from fatigue and stress, it also can be from unresolved issues. Sometimes it is easier to ignore problems than to deal with them. Those problems can eventually fester and damage the foundation of your marriage.

7. You no longer look forward to your future together.

Neglecting your relationship will eventually leave your feeling cold about your marriage and your future together.

Even if you have let your marriage go, there are still things that you can do to rekindle your relationship. If you are ready to know how to fall back in love or stay in love with your spouse, then I invite you to get our special report, "Keeping That Loving Feeling: 7 Secrets Every Couple Should Know" at [http://www.BuildingYourDreamMarriage.com/LovingFeeling.html].

For more great tips and tools for building your dream marriage, visit our website at [http://www.BuildingYourDreamMarriage.com]. At our website, you can sign up for our free e-course, "5 Common Barriers to Building Your Dream Marriage".

Good luck with building your dream marriage- Laurel Barnet

Are Female Sexual Health Problems Killing Your Marriage?

Marriage is a sacred and very strong bond. Yet many married couples seem to be struggling in retaining the intimacy in their marriage that could have been distanced by many factors including age, stress of raising children, very tight and busy work schedules, and probably the most common: loss of sex and passion. These two are the main recipe for intimacy, they are not only significant within the limits of the bedroom, but are also essential in both male and female sexual health.

Some people may deem the loss in sex drive as nothing but a meager threat in a relationship. But when nothing is done about it, it could lead a marriage into a miserable turn by shattering the intimacy between the couple. So basically, what started off as a little decline in men / women's sexual health may actually grow to being the main cause of a marriage's demise.

Although both genders experience the loss of desire in sex, women experience it more than men do, the numbers being greatly multiplied by the fact that almost all birth control pills bring an inevitable side effect - loss of sex drive. Birth control pills restrain ovulation, which is the part of a woman's cycle wherein her sex drive is at its peak. Obviously, this makes female orgasm difficult, if not impossible to achieve.

As men's redemption of their lost libido has been solved by the efficacy of the products addressed specifically for them, women have found the solution for their problems in the shape of female libido supplements. These supplements not only help a woman boost or reclaim her lost sex drive but it also helps in providing her with vitamins, stimulants, hormone-like compounds, anti-aging qualities, anti-oxidants and nutrients which are essential in promoting a well-rounded female sexual health.

Female sexual supplements are now widely available in many different forms. Ranging from creams and oils to the more common form of pills. These products are guaranteed to act as a female libido booster, to help a woman reclaim her lost drive and bring back the intense intimacy within a couple's sexual relationship. More importantly, it helps a woman achieve a rounded sense of well being by bringing back her confidence in her sexual health.

As the availability of female libido supplements become prolific, more of the challenge is left to reside in how a woman could find the most appropriate product for her. The best guide in this daunting process would be through the aid of reviews conducted by experts on the top female libido supplements, and weigh down its efficacy through the help of women who had experienced using the products for themselves.

As we now know, products such as these are not only intended for the recovery and increase of women's lost sex drive, but also to help them regain their confidence and bring back the drive in womens sexual health. By its benevolence, it could even rekindle a broken relationship that's caused by loss of intimacy, passion, and sex. It could even save a marriage that shared the same fate, but only if the couple cooperates with its wondrous benefits and work hard on their relationship.

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Die Young As Late As Possible - Healthful Marriage Means Taking Care of Yourself

San Diego State University psychologist Linda C. Gallo, PhD, tracked the health and happiness of 493 women for 13 years. Using blood tests, Gallo found that women with the luck, skill, or emotional fortitude to have created highly satisfying marriages were simply in better health¹.

We've all heard the scientific evidence, confirmation of our assumptions, and out and out speculation about a connection between a happy marriage and good health.

Mortality rates, for example, are greatly affected by marital status. The mortality rate among single men under 34 is about 2½ times higher than that for young married men. Widowed and divorced men over 80 have a mortality rate one third higher than married men. Single, widowed and divorced older women all have higher mortality rates than their married peers.

One of the biggest factors in our food obsessed, overly sedentary culture is, of course obesity. The prevalence of obesity in America doubled from 15 percent in 1980 to 27 percent in 1999. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 30% of children and two-thirds of adult Americans are overweight, no thanks to poor diet and lack of exercise. Nearly 2 in 3 Americans is overweight, and more than 50% of those are considered obese. This doesn't just have an impact on the health care budget, even though obesity costs us nearly $117 Billion dollars per annum. It also costs us in one of the prevalent outcomes of overweight: divorce. Ask any married couple this question, "would you marry your spouse again if you knew they'd be overweight?". If they're honest they'll say no. Too much body mass causes all manner of health and other problems, not to mention it's just unattractive.

No news there. But let's turn that around for once; is the opposite equally true? Do people who take care of themselves find that their marriages are happier as a result? And is this a self-fulfilling prophecy? Does taking care of ourselves lead to better health, which leads to a happier, more satisfied mate? It would seem so intuitively. It could be that we have it exactly backward; it could be that people who find themselves in a satisfying marriage automatically watch their weight, don't smoke, drink in moderation, buckle up and in general take fewer chances with their physical well being. This could be an unconscious reaction to knowing someone loves us enough to expect nothing less.

Expectations in marriage mean a lot. In my own relationship, for example, it would be an impossibility that one of us would take up smoking. My mate would assume I'd gone 'round the bend; seeing her with a cigarette, I would assume the same. Neither of us drinks very much. We'd no more drive without buckling up than walk into traffic blindfolded. We exercise daily, either walking, biking in the neighborhood, or at a nearby public park. We have an almost daily drill where we compete with each other to do as many sit-ups as we can (she always wins). Our diet is healthier, and, counterintuitively, more satisfying than ever.

Recently, we acquired a copy of a cookbook/earth greening manifesto titled Food Matters: A Guide to Conscious Eating², which contains all manner of recipes, food and agricultural information, planetary impact data and health related observations about what we buy at the grocery, cook in our kitchens, and put in our mouths. Food Matters is now our only cookbook. Hint: we keep beans in the pantry at all times, and, yes, Beano®, too. We just feel it's important to stay slim, healthy, attractive and attentive for each other.

The current health care controversy may revolve around a hidden factor here, that those who initially care enough about their own health gravitate to others like themselves, and overall, impact the health care system less than those who abuse their bodies. Anecdotally, those people are likely involved in unsatisfying marital relationships.

Speaking of expectations, marital bliss doesn't necessarily mean sexual satisfaction, but the two are pretty closely aligned. Here are the stats: According to the American Urological Association, overweight men are more likely to suffer from erectile dysfunction than slimmer correspondents³. Considering how most men feel about sex and their partners, this is likely a reason to stay slim, or slim down after the middle age spread has begun. Research suggests that Americans do in fact gain about ten pounds per decade on average, and we're living longer, so do the math. Most divorces in America, too, have as a factor the loss of sexual attraction in men and women. The bottom line is that to enjoy sex longer, and to keep our mates happy regardless, we need to take better care of ourselves. Here are a few tips on how to do that.

Regular exercise: How many times have we heard that? Set a timer. Every thirty minutes leave the computer, get on the floor, and do as many sit-ups as you can without strain. In no time you'll be proud to say you can do 100 sit ups per day, and your tummy will thank you. Your mate will, too. Take a walk after work. Don't eat dinner till you've exercised at least fifteen minutes. Hold hands while walking; it will increase the enjoyment, and it embarrasses your kids, a good thing.

Eat less, and eat better. The story about beans? It's true; they're the best thing we can eat, full of nutrients, high in protein, low fat, low carb, satisfying, and good if fixed imaginatively, which isn't hard. (See notation #2). Also, why do we keep eating till every scrap and morsel is gone? Is that mom's admonition to clean our plates? The cure for this is ridiculously simple: when you're no longer hungry, stop. The grocery bill will decline, too.

Stop with the snacking & grazing. Research suggests that several smaller meals throughout the day is better for us than the standard three squares. A lot of our food habits, indeed a lot of our weight gain problem is pure habit: We're surrounded by food; we eat by time instead of hunger; we finish everything rather than 'waste' it, which is an interesting choice of words when you think about it. By eating after we're no longer hungry we're effectively 'wasting' food.

Don't nag your mate about their weight. Tough not to, but the habit of mentioning weight gain and unhealthy eating habits creates a spiral toward even more of the same. If weight gain is becoming an issue, look at other factors in the relationship first. Praise is always a slimming agent.

Finally, consider that your mate really does love you enough to want you to stick around a long time. Sure, you're their beneficiary, but that doesn't mean they want to cash in on you right away. Attributed to various sources, the following quote is appropriate. "The idea is to die young as late as possible." For good marital satisfaction, this means taking care of our health, and being considerate enough of our mates to do that for a lifetime.

¹©2009 Rodale press. Writer Deb Dellapena.

²©2009 Mark Bittman.

³© 2003-2009 Bio-Medicine.

(s):
Byron & Mariah Edgington are the creators of Caffection, LLC dba Caffection, a marriage enrichment website. Caffection.com offers happy couples a portal for daily quotes, weekly affirmations, a monthly e-newsletter, exclusive gift items, seasonal and remembrance items, several interactive pages and entry to a newly identified, exclusive club of married best friends.

Got Caffection? Go to http://www.caffection.com, and find out.

The No 1 Question - What Is Normal Sexuality In a Marriage And Relationship?

Everyone wonders about this most intimate of phenomenons. Are our friends having more sex than we do? Do any other couples have this problem where one partner has high desire, and the other one has little to none? There must be something really wrong with us! Everyone wants sex 24/7 don't they?

The answer to these most commonly asked questions are NO. Not really. More than 40 million Americans feel stuck in low-sex or no sex marriages. Research studies tell us that 1 in 3 women and 1 in 7 men reported little to no sexual desire. Sometime in a marriage more than 50% of couples experience one or both partners with little to no sexual desire.

Desire problems are the most frequent complaint of couples entering sex therapy. They are also often the underlying and unspoken complaint of couples entering relationship therapy. Let's address the importance of first ruling out any physical or biological medical problems.

With this in mind, it is recommended to make an appointment with your general medical doctor, or get a referral from your Sex Therapist (Board certified Clinical Sexologist) to see a specialist such as, a urologist or gynecologist that specializes in hormone replacement therapies. Your therapist will recommend that the medical doctor run a hormonal profile along with a physical exam to rule out any other problems, such as medical disease or medications that could be affecting your libido or sexual desire.

In today's society relationship issues including, sexual anxieties, inhibitions, and problems are the norm. We're afraid of not doing it "right", like in movies and books. "Right" would be intercourse, with both parties craving each other all the time and having simultaneous orgasms every time they're intimate. In other words, "being all over each other 24 hours a day.

Wrong! Healthy sexuality means giving and receiving touch that is pleasurable. Sexuality and intimacy may include 1001 different modes of showing love and affection for one another. There is no 1 one "right way" of making love. The optimal experience would be that of being together, with no "editing" of the respective partner.

In other words, take your time, experiment, kiss, touch, and take time to build up the level of excitement with one another. If there is always an ultimate goal of an absolute outcome...surely one of you is likely to be disappointed.

Great sex and love- making is not goal oriented, but process oriented. (The journey, not the destination.) It allows both partners to enjoy pleasure. It varies. Sometimes one or both has an orgasm. Sometimes not. And that's ok. What's not OK is not caring about yours or your partner's needs.

There are many possible reasons for a discrepancy in desire between partners. The first is biological. As I mentioned in the statistics above, more than twice as many women than men have problems with sexual desire. This is because after the infatuation phase of the relationship, when hormones are running rampant, things settle down to natural biological rhythms. And biologically speaking, whoever has the most testosterone usually has the most desire.

However, that is not to say that this is absolutely gender specific. It is often the other way around, where a couple will present with issues of the male partner not being interested in sex (low desire) with symptoms of low libido, which can be precipitated by a chemical or physiological issue. (again it is important to visit with your medical doctor to rule out any biological/physical medical problems).

Other reasons relevant to both genders are performance anxiety, emotional pain in the relationship, coerced intimacy, sex used as a bartering tool, lack of time, lack of energy, and fear of intimacy to name a few. These can be helped with an understanding therapist.

A full and enjoyable relationship will include intimacy and a healthy sexual component. The pleasure and joy of intimate connection is as important to your life as the air you breathe. Research shows that individuals that are in coupled in marriage or relationship live healthier and longer lives than those that are in unhappy and unfulfilled relationships.

You deserve the most out of life with your partner! Being responsible for your own sexual health means becoming and educated consumer. Never take just one doctor or clinicians opinion without exploring all comprehensive health options.

Check with your local doctors for references or utilize the internet to find a specialist such as a clinical sexologist to help you sort through the psychological and physiological issues that may be preventing you from living the best life you can!

Dr. Arlene G. Krieger is well known in the South Florida community for the past 30 years for her philanthropic and community work. She is a licensed Marriage and Family therapist and Board Certified Clinical Sexologist working in the tri-county areas of Palm Beach, Miami-Dade county and Broward Counties. Dr. Krieger specializes in Relationship and Intimacy issues in her private practice in Boca Raton, Florida and can be reached via her website: http://www.BocaTherapy.com and http://www.AskDrArlene.com

Discover What Your Marriage is Missing - Your Relationship Check-Up is Long Overdue

No one can deny the benefit of preventive medicine. First of all, it's often easier to prevent an illness than it is to cure it--that's why you go in for your annual physical (or why you should). And we all can agree that feeling healthy is preferable to feeling sick. So looking out for potential illnesses before they take over your life is the reasoning behind the medical check-up.

But when was your last relationship check-up?

Everyone needs a Relationship Check-up...

Unfortunately, couples and couples counselors have not adopted the philosophy of the regular physical for relationships. Most often, the approach is to wait for problems to arise, persist, and then to seek help. To compound the problem, most marriage counseling is focused exclusively on the presenting complaint--this problem-centered focus often obscures any resilient aspects of a relationship that already exist, ones that might be used in a healthy way. This sends the message that couples should only seek counseling or give their relationship close attention when a crisis arises. Couples counseling is seen as a last resort, an act of desperation.

Shouldn't there be an alternative to this approach?

The typical journey to marriage counseling:

Meet Joanna and Bernie-the "every" couple.

Like many modern-day couples who try to juggle numerous commitments and responsibilities, Joanna and Bernie have their share of stress. And this stress has taken a toll on them. Over time, their relationship has suffered.

Depending on circumstances, relationship problems surfaced but then seemed to disappear...only to resurface at some later point. As time passed, this pattern intensified and became more frequent, often with no resolution. The vitality and life that was once a part of their relationship started to give way to hurt feelings, then withdrawal and finally indifference. As their marriage became more painful, Joanna and Bernie started to channel their energies elsewhere: Work-related activities, parenting and/or time spent with family and friends supplanted the time that was once spent enjoying each other.

As unresolved issues continued to fester, the familiar relationship that once offered comfort and meaning was nowhere to be found. Beleaguered and hopeless, it became painfully obvious to Joanna and Bernie that marriage counseling was needed if they wanted to head off a divorce.

Couples often endure an agonizing existence for years before seeking help-and like a slowly developing medical problem, the more time that elapses before seeking treatment, the poorer the prognosis.

But what if Joanna and Bernie had been going for an annual relationship check-up?

Isn't it possible that their marriage problems could have been identified early on and Joanna and Bernie been given the tools needed to tackle these issues?

Unfortunately, few options exist for couples who want to evaluate the overall health of their relationship before problems crop up.

When is a problem a "real" problem?

There is a level of decisiveness when someone is dealing with a physical aliment: if you develop a pounding headache that won't go away, you call your doctor; when you injure your back to the point where you can hardly move, you see a specialist immediately.

This level of decisiveness is lacking when it comes to relationship aliments.

Some couples quarrel often and still have strong relationships; however, conflict can signal the start of significant trouble for others. Some couples make love infrequently but still feel fulfilled and connected with each other, while for other couples, a lack of physical intimacy is a sign that help is needed. In other words, a problem for one couple isn't necessarily a problem for another.

Would you call a counselor for a relationship check-up if you faced any of the following?

~Lately your marriage seems less fulfilling;

~You start wondering if this is all that love has to offer;

~Over the last few months, you and your husband have been arguing more frequently;

~You've noticed that your wife has been withdrawing from you and avoiding intimacy;

~When you have the choice, you prefer spending time with friends rather than with your partner;

~You find that you have no desire to make love to your husband.

If you answered "no" to the above question (whether or not you'd call a professional if you faced any of the aforementioned issues), you're not alone. And quite frankly, your marriage or relationship might be fine in spite of any one of the above concerns. But then again, one of these observations might also signal that your relationship needs some attention. This is why ongoing attention is so vital for the health of your relationship.

What a Relationship Check-up Can Do for You:

A relationship check-up should focus on all aspects of your relationship-highlighting what is working well, each person's unique strengths, how these strengths can best be utilized in the relationship, as well as any areas that might need attention so problems can be prevented. Couples can leave a relationship check-up invigorated and with a plan of action that will help them keep their marriage or relationship moving in the right direction.

This preventive medicine approach is a healthy alternative to "just putting up with" relationship problems before seeking help.

Are you ready to implement the preventive medicine model for your relationship? Dr. Nicastro offers a FREE relationship check-up by phone!

Visit http://StrengthenYourRelationship.com/ to schedule your free relationship check-up. And don't forget to sign up for Dr. Nicastro's Relationship Toolbox Newsletter.

Richard Nicastro, Ph.D. is a relationship and intimacy coach with fifteen years experience helping individuals and couples. Dr. Nicastro's relationship advice has been featured on television, radio and in national magazines.

Five Common Health Issues - If Not Addressed Can Ruin Your Marriage or Any Relationship

1. Premature ejaculation

Premature ejaculation (PE) is a very common condition affecting many men. For the average male, the time from insertion to ejaculation is less than three minutes. The definition of PE is ejaculation that occurs prior to when a man wishes or occurs too quickly during intercourse to satisfy his partner.

It's thought that PE at least partially originates during the late adolescent to late teenage years, when young men often experiment with masturbation. During those younger years, they essentially need to please only themselves. As a result, they learn to do it quickly. Additionally, they often had to "speed things up" in the bathroom while masturbating because they surely did not want to be busted by the home police (a.k.a. mom or sister).

This learned behavior is often very difficult for men to change and can lead to sexually dissatisfied partners. A sexually dissatisfied spouse is vulnerable to temptations outside of the marriage, which can lead to very complex and often irreversible problems. An adage states that "bad sex" has a much greater impact on ruining a relationship (up to 70%) than "good sex" has on improving it (15%).

Thankfully, there is help for men with this condition. Essentially, men must learn to control their pubo-coccygeal (PC) muscles, which originate from the pubic bone, go under the genitals, and attach to the tailbone. A man can discover these muscles by attempting to stop his urine flow midstream. Men with this condition need to go to reputable websites and talk to a doctor or other qualified health professional about how to gain more control over these muscles to stop PE.

2. Chronic, loud snoring

Chronic, loud snoring is often due to a condition called obstructive sleep apnea (OSA). OSA is caused by a collapsing of the upper air passages during sleep, causing a blockage of air to the lungs, which results in low blood oxygen and disrupted sleep.

People who leave this condition untreated can suffer from many complications including depression, loss of sex drive, hyperactive behavior, leg swelling (if severe), heart arrhythmia, heart failure, high blood pressure, and stroke.

In addition to all the above serious personal health problems, the spouse of someone with OSA suffers a great deal too. The non-snoring spouse may be forced to sleep in a different room or may endure many sleepless nights in the room with a snoring spouse. Either way, OSA may be the source of lots of stress in a marriage and can potentially lead to many serious marital problems.

Thankfully, there is a solution to this common health problem. The fix for most people is to get a doctor-prescribed sleep study and likely wear a CPAP device (a small machine attached to a facial mask that blows air through the nose and/or mouth while you are asleep). Be sure to talk to your doctor or your spouse's doctor about this condition so you can both sleep happily ever after in the same bed!

3. Untreated depression or other mental illness

The time has come for all of us to start recognizing mental illnesses such as depression, anxiety, and bipolar disorder as true medical conditions - just as we recognize high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and heart disease. As a physician, I can tell you that some people are just born prone to depression or to some other mental illness.

Most common mental illnesses have a biological basis, not just an emotional or spiritual basis. Most are due to either overproduction or underproduction of certain neuro-hormones in the brain. For example if your brain is significantly under-producing serotonin (the cause of clinical depression), there is nothing you can do about it other than seek treatment. Think of it like this: If your blood pressure were too high and you tried different self-treatments without success, it would be time to start formal treatment options.

When someone has an untreated mental illness, essentially this person is not himself or herself. It is very difficult to maintain any relationship, let alone a marriage, if you are not "yourself." People with untreated mental illness often come back to themselves after starting treatment and realize how many past relationships they inadvertently destroyed while they were just not themselves.

4. Obesity/letting yourself go

Obese, how dare someone call you that! For many people, being told they are overweight or obese seems downright insulting. But it is important for people to know that the term obesity is not a social judgment; it is a medical term that health care providers use to define how much fat is in a person's body.

Obesity and being overweight can make a person sick in many ways, including serious conditions like heart disease, diabetes, and arthritis. In addition to the obvious potential health problems, letting yourself go physically may lead to your spouse finding you less attractive, and you may have less energy for the things that you used to love to do with your spouse.

Keeping your temple/body as fit as you can will not only make you more attractive to your spouse, but will also help you avoid the obvious health problems that can easily derail whatever ambitions you may have for yourself, your spouse, and your family. To stay fit:

Get 30 to 40 minutes of physical activity three to five times a week. Start out by walking (walk like you're running late).
Never try to lose more than one to two pounds a week. Lose more than this and you will likely gain all the weight back plus extra because you have tricked your brain into thinking there is a "famine" in the land (a reflex from our ancient past).
To lose one pound in a week, you'll need to burn an extra 3,500 calories a week, or 500 calories a day.

Remember, being fit is not just about being thin; it is and should be about being healthy!

5. Female sexual dysfunction (FSD)

FSD involves several female sexual symptoms, including pain during sexual intercourse, not finding sex pleasurable, lack of desire for sexual activity, an inability to orgasm, and/or a lack of vaginal lubrication (arousal). It's been estimated that 43 percent of women complain of some type of sexual dysfunction.

While the causes of FSD are not fully known, they likely involve complex interactions between women's emotions, hormones, stress levels, certain medication side effects, and certain diseases. A number of health problems can interfere with a woman's ability to enjoy sex and feel pleasure, including:

Chronic health conditions (e.g., depression, diabetes, hypertension, and high cholesterol) can affect sexual function in a variety of ways.
Pelvic surgeries (e.g., hysterectomy) can damage and narrow blood vessels and prevent the flow of blood to genital tissues, thus reducing arousal.
An underactive thyroid gland (hypothyroid) can reduce a woman's sex drive.
Genital and urinary tract infections can cause discomfort and sometimes painful sex.
Vulvovaginal atrophy is common due to the loss of estrogen production associated with menopause and other conditions (e.g., postpartum), which leads to atrophy of the vulva, vagina, and urinary tract.

Although researchers have yet to determine the exact causes of FSD, many symptomatic treatments exist, so it's important for a woman suffering from any sexual dysfunction to bring it up to her primary care provider or ob-gyn. Women should enjoy sex just as much as men do!

by Jeffrey B. Brown, MD

Jeffrey B. Brown, MD
http://www.jeffreybrownmd.com

Health and Marriage: How Caring For Your Body Can Enhance Your Relationship

Do you find that you are often sleepy, exhausted, or just plain out of energy? Do you feel insecure about your body and uncomfortable about being naked in front of your partner? Do you wish that you and your partner shared an activity that would help you both improve your health AND give you a chance to talk and connect?

Your body needs care. This is a fact that you cannot ignore. People who do not care for their bodies properly often end up with illness, injury, or their body breaking down. We often put the things we "should" do to keep our bodies healthy last on our list of priorities. After all, there are only so many hours in a day and we have many other important things to tend to. But, for the sake of your health AND your relationship, it's essential that you don't ignore your body

Getting the exercise you need to stay healthy doesn't have to feel like blood, sweat and tears. It doesn't mean you have to lift weights in a sweaty gym or run your heart rate up so high that you feel like your heart is going to burst out of your chest - unless you like that - and there are people who do!

My guess is that all people who exercise long-term do so not just for the health benefits, but also because they enjoy it. That's the key to making your workout a permanent part of your lifestyle: finding some way to move your body that you enjoy. What would make working out more fun for you?

Here are a few ideas:

Take a class to improve your skills or learn something new.
Is there a sport you like? Check out your recreation department or YMCA for adult teams/leagues.
Hire a personal trainer to work out with you both, together. (This can be a great source of shared laughter!)
Find a way to work out with your spouse. Reminisce about ways you used to exercise together when you first fell in love and find ways to do them again.
Think back to which healthy activities you loved to do as a kid and incorporate them into your routine.
If there's a sport your kids compete in, look for ways you can get more involved.
Remember that sex is a form of exercise. Are you having the type and frequency of sex you most enjoy or is there a need to communicate with your partner to make it better?

When trying something new or just beginning a workout routine, start small. You want these healthy changes to last, so that they become an enjoyable part of your life, rather than a burden.

Being healthy can have many positive effects on your relationship such as:

feeling better about being naked together
being more sexually responsive
feeling more energetic and adventurous
spending time together playing, having fun, and talking
reduced medical expenses which leads to more money for saving and playing.

You'll improve your health AND your relationship.

Meredith M. Keller, LPC has helped many couples to strengthen their relationships and improve their lives. Meredith is the owner of Couples Therapy Center of NJ, and holds her master's degree in Counseling, is a Nationally Certified Counselor, and is a Licensed Professional Counselor in the state of New Jersey. She has completed advanced training in couples counseling and is a Certified Imago Therapist with Imago Relationships International.

A Longer Life and Greater Health: The Rewards of Marriage

The health benefits of being married are huge.

Studies have shown that if you are a single man you have an increased risk of dying at an earlier age than if you had been married. If you are married however you have a much higher chance of living a healthier and happier life.

A recent study showed that a married male had a 9% lower risk of dying in any given year than a single male. For females the figure was 3%.

Why is this? It could be the social support of the partner, or having someone to look out for them. Or it could be that a single person has a more excessive lifestyle.

Married men are more likely to exercise, eat breakfast and have regular health check ups and be less likely to smoke. Single people are more likely to suffer mental health problems such as depression and loneliness.

The positive effects of marriage are dependent however on having a good marriage. An unhappy relationship actually increases your blood pressure when with your spouse. Your blood pressure then goes down when you are away from your spouse. In a good marriage the opposite is true.

Marital stress doubles the chance of diabetes, or a heart attack. A good marriage boosts your immune system and reduces your risk of heat disease by reducing your stress levels. The benefits are better physical health, more resistance to infection, fewer infections, and a reduced likelihood of dying from cancer, from heart disease, from all major killers. All this results in a longer and happier life.

If you have a good marriage you will have less depression, less anxiety disorders, less phobias, and fewer injuries due to accidents.

So if being happily married is good for you, what can you do to make sure it is good, and that it stays that way? Here are a few tips.

(1) Communicate. E.g. talk to each other every day, setting aside time to do this without distractions.

(2) Say nice, complementary things to your spouse, showing them that they are appreciated.

(3) Remind yourself each day why you are so lucky to be with your partner.

(4) Plan a long term future together. Make this something that you are really both very excited about. E.g. "retiring in 7 years time, and retiring to a beach front villa in Miami, where we will both scuba dive together, fully explore the everglades, and become expert dancers on the local salsa scene".

(5) Avoid rejecting your partner. Watch out for when your partner is making a particular point of reaching out to you, and make sure you respond positively.

(6) Develop your own little couple habits, words, and actions. Like calling your partner "My Gorgeous."

(7) Be open and honest with your spouse.

Being married is better for you in the following ten ways. (1) It's safer, (2) It can save your life, (3) It can save your kid's life, (4) You will earn more money, (5) You will get much richer, (6) There is less chance of promiscuity, (7) You'll have better mental health, (8) You'll be happier, (9) Your kids will love you more, and (10) You'll have better and more frequent sex.

While being in a good healthy married relationship is best for you, being in a good and healthy non-married long term relationship also has similar health benefits. BUT most of the studies done have all shown that the health benefits of being married are much greater than the health benefits of cohabiting.

So do you want to be happy and healthy? What do you do? Simple. Go and find a great husband or wife! What could be simpler!

How do you find a great husband or wife? Well, that topic deserves a whole article to itself!

Damian Miles is a writer of ezine articles an ebooks, on the five key elements of any successful life: health, wealth, happiness, love, and security. Through his website http://dlmiles.co.uk he runs his weekly ezine and sells his ebooks and eproducts. His ezine "Think Yourself Fitter in Thirty Days." His ezine teaches how to develop the right attitude to health and fitness, an attitude that will almost guarantee you set and achieve your health and fitness goals. Damian is currently developing a workshop on Happiness, and training to run the 2007 London Marathon.

Marriage - 3 Things That Can Dramatically Improve Your Health and Your Marriage

In life and marriage you have two-choices: Health and happiness; or Illness and unhappiness. It's a sad fact; but most people are unhappy in life - and in marriage. But if this is a choice, why would people choose to be unhappy? And what can be done to to improve our marriage and our health?

Of course, people don't make this choice consciously; they allow habitual thinking to turn into habitual behaviors, and they fall into unfulfilling routines - or "ruts." Unhappiness is an unconscious choice we make when our habits, favorites, or judgments are challenged by our reality - or by our experience of reality, anyway.

There are three very similar skills you can cultivate to help yourself be happier while becoming a better and better marriage partner: Flexibility; Willingness; and Sacrifice. Concentrate on developing these three essential relationship skills; though it may be difficult, at first, to resist your automatic (programmed) behaviors or habits.

1. Flexibility

2. Willingness

3. Sacrifice

1.) Flexibility: Having a flexible mind leads to having a flexible body - and your life will flow more dynamically, as well. Being flexible means being open to changes and new possibilities; you don't always have to do the same things in the same ways. And, you don't always have to be perfect. You can be flexible; or you can be rigid. The choice is yours; but it is much healthier to be flexible than rigid.

2.) Willingness: Willingness, like flexibility, requires openness to new things; but willingness adds a degree of positivity and agreeability - both are critical ingredients in a happy relationship. Willingness requires a certain lack of attachment - to your own agenda, favorites, expectations, and judgments. Willingness also requires a spirit of generosity, as you are investing your energy in something new - oftentimes, even someone else's idea.

3.) Sacrifice: Sacrifice essentially means "giving for the grander cause." Sacrifice isn't necessarily the same as "martyrdom." Sacrifice, in this context, simply means that you learn to give so that others can have. Say, "Yes!" as often as possible; and you will hear, "Yes!" more and more in response. Give your partner the last bite, or the last piece of something wonderful. Cancel your own plans once in a while to facilitate others. It is said that the best thing you can do with a human life is to give it away. In marriage, or any relationship, giving freely of your self is an important key to success.

Of course, there's much more to marriage than anyone could imagine when they get married. Marriage is a full-time job; and, if both people aren't working on it, then they need to be asking themselves why they are in the relationship in the first place. Chances are it isn't for the same reason they got into it.

But, regardless of your reasons for being in, or staying in, a relationship, you'll benefit in many ways from becoming more flexible, willing, and giving. Working on any one of these areas, or skills, will dramatically improve your life; mastering them all will give you access to a power far greater than most people will ever know. But, more importantly, simply taking the time to think of these things before you act will immediately improve every part of your life, health, and relationship.

Pete Koerner is the author of The Belief Formula: The Secret to Unlocking the Power of Prayer. The Belief Formula is a look at how you can use ancient wisdom and modern scientific awareness to learn how to use your mind to reclaim your health and create the life of your dreams.

For a Free Report on Making The Belief Formula Work for You, visit: http://www.TheBeliefFormula.com

*To download your FREE, Illustrated Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) Manual, go to: http://www.ExploreExpandEvolve.com/free_download/ (It only takes about 10-seconds to get your Free EFT manual and start erasing fears, painful memories, and limiting beliefs that could be limiting your happiness and expression!)

5 Incentives For Improving Your Relationship - Why Would I Want to Work on My Marriage?

It's nice to talk about being sweet to each other and living happily ever after; but it's not always realistic because it's not always that easy. It's easy to get jealous when you see someone else's "prefect relationship;" but don't make the mistake of assuming that their relationship just "magically" happened to them, or that it was always easy for them.

Building a truly great relationship requires attention and energy; and most people need a pretty good reason before they put attention and energy into anything. What's the payoff? Why should I work on my relationship? You benefit in many ways when you improve yourself and your relationships. We all do. But, in case you need specific reasons to put energy and effort into your life, here is a list of five-incentives for investing your time and energy into the improvement of your relationship.

1. Your life is a series of experiences and perceptions that can span many decades. Marriages often last decades. If you are not happily married, and you do nothing to improve it, you are surrendering many happy years of life. You can justify your misery and you will end up looking back on a miserable life; or you can improve things and have a fun life.

2. Stress is blamed for approximately 90% of all trips to the doctor's office. Relationships are one of the biggest sources of stress. If you improve your relationship, you can expect to see dramatic improvements in your health - and you'll probably even lose some weight if you're holding on to unwanted pounds.

3. Happily married people live longer than anybody. Working on your relationship is the same as working on extending your life on earth - and improving the quality of that life on a daily basis.

4. A good marriage is like a good team. A strong partnership can build great things - much greater than what one can build on their own - and a strong union can endure great adversity. By working to improve your relationship and support and encourage your partner, you will be gaining a powerful ally and asset for your journey through life. If you improve your relationship, it will sustain you in the most difficult times.

5. Being married is less expensive than being single; and, if you're going to be married, you might as well enjoy and get the most out of your situation by learning to be happily married. When people are stressed - by their relationship or anything - they often exhibit costly behaviors such as: consuming food, drugs, alcohol, and other consumer goods and services, at a much higher rate than people who are relaxed and happy. Being single is expensive, and being married and stressed and unhappy is expensive; but being happily married is beneficial to you in every conceivable way. Learn to be happy and at peace in your relationship; you almost can't afford not to.

You can improve any area of your life and relationship if you have a reason to do so. For some people, suffering and discomfort are reasons enough to change the way they do business; but others need a good reason, or a clearly and obvious benefit to making any changes at all in life. Consider that, if you are married, your marriage affects every other part of your life; and, by improving it, you will automatically improve every other area of life. So, if you're going to be married anyway, you should seriously consider learning how to do it right; your health, longevity, happiness, success, and prosperity will all improve with each step you take toward enhancing your relationship. Make your own list of reasons - or use these - and get started making tomorrow better than today.

*To download your FREE, Illustrated Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) Manual, go to: http://www.ExploreExpandEvolve.com/free_download/

It only takes about 10-seconds to get your Free EFT manual and start erasing fears, resentment, stress, anxiety, grief, negative emotions, negative self-talk, phobias, and limiting beliefs that could be holding you back and limiting your life, health, and relationships.

Pete Koerner is the author of The Belief Formula: The Secret to Unlocking the Power of Prayer. The Belief Formula is a look at how you can use ancient wisdom and modern scientific awareness to learn how to use your mind to reclaim your health and create the life of your dreams.

For a Free Report on Making The Belief Formula Work for You, visit: http://www.TheBeliefFormula.com (This report focuses on improving your health with your thoughts.)

Marriage Fitness Test - A 10 Point Checkup Measuring Marital Health and Well-Being

In my years of private practice specializing in couples therapy, I have come to some central truths about elements vital to marital health and the prognosis for intimate relationships based on ten critical factors. Give yourself and your spouse a giant service by each taking this ten minute test and comparing notes.

If individually or together you average below 80% when you tally up, your marriage is limping along and needs some work! If your scores are 80% or higher, you are already doing a lot of things right, and it's probably not an accident. Now your job is to become more aware of who's doing what to nurture the marriage, so you can both commit to consciously continuing the good work!

Rate your relationship on a scale of one to ten, with ten being the highest score:

1. Do you both have an overall feeling of happiness in your relationship?

2. Do you spend quality time together on a regular basis?

3. Do you divide the chores of life (childcare, bill paying, housework, laundry, shopping, earning a living, etc.), in a way which feels fair and even-handed to you both?

4. Do you show appreciation and respect for eachother?

5. Do you feel free enough to speak openly about your wants, needs, and hurts?

6. Do you each put energy into being emotionally / sexually close?

7. Do your fights feel safe and ultimately productive?

8. Do you honor eachother's need for space (alone time, individual friendships)?

9. Do you protect eachother from other people's unacceptable or hurtful behaviors?

10. Do you keep agreements and promises?

Reflect upon, and discuss your results and scores. In areas where you have scored lower, resolve to making one significant change with an action plan in the coming weeks, as a good beginning. Retest yourselves in one month and notice any improvements, then move on to another area of weakness and do the same thing. If nothing seems to shift in a meaningful way, you may consider professional help.

Susan Lager, LICSW, is a board certified psychotherapist in private practice in Portsmouth, N.H. where at The Couples Center, she specializes in providing comprehensive services to married and unmarried partners at all stages of the coupling process. In May 2010 she launched Couplespeak, for online coaching, consultation, training programs and materials designed to assist individuals and couples strengthen and build their relationships. Look for her now on her blog about relationship issues at: http://susanlagerbeaclosercouple.blogspot.com/

Living Together Without Marriage Improves Men's Mental Health

A study in England of thousands of women and men found that people who went through the good and bad times with the original mate and stayed together were much happier mentally.

It was also found that men who played the field got over the relationships when they ended much quicker then women did.

Women who stay single who once had a great love that did not work out tended to be mentally stable.

The fact that women who live with a man without benefit of marriage are not as happy as the men is because there is no financial protection for them when the relationship ends. Security is everything to women and marriage represents stability and although the relationship can end they will have some rights. This explains why women who are married are more mentally stable then if they simply lived together.

Women have children and need a stable lifestyle and a strong desire to protect themselves and their kids. So marriage is very important financially and also there is the question of respect that everyone needs. If a women has her own career and here own money these thing may be less important.

From a man's point of view and if he's over 25 security is not very important. But most men don't want to be squeezed into a relationship by the women he loves. He want's it to be his idea. The trick for a woman is to make him believe it is His Idea.

Being married has always been associated with greater mental and physical health. Bachelors don't live, as long, at least that's what the myth indicates. In the past studies have shown married men live a longer life with greater psychological happiness.

There was an English study for 10 years ending in the millennium of 10,000 adults. Both men and women were interviewed and asked a series of questions about being depressed or anxious.

Long-lasting relationships that have weathered the storm provided excellent mental health.

People that had failed relationships and were now alone had combinations of grief and anger and were often depressed. Both men and women had poor mental health after this experience. But for those who could move on to new relationships, much of the damage was somewhat reversed. Although women seemed to have a harder time of letting go than men did.

Women's mental health progressively deteriorated with the more break-ups they experienced.

For men that had several different experiences it seemed the opposite was true. Men who had more then one relationship and moved on seemed to be in excellent mental health. Those men that had only one relationship and not moved on were not as mentally stable.

Women who never married but lived with their mate were in great mental health unlike men in the same situation.

Jeffrey Broobin is a free-lance writer on family and finance issues; his main goal is to help people during their complicated period of life. Website: http://www.legalhelpmate.com Email: jeffreyb@legalhelpmate.com

Your Perspective of Your Spouse and Yourself Will Determine the Health of Sex in Your Marriage

You're married, you love each other, and you know sex is an important part in the health of your relationship. So, where do things stand, have you clearly identified what you both want and are you doing what you need to do to have it?

You have heard it before, regardless the truth stays the same...It's all in your head. Examine what's going on in your head to start the process of having the very best.

1. How do you feel about who you are sexually?

Feeling good about your sexual identity is paramount in what will happen in your relationship with your spouse. When you are secure with yourself, your desires, and your body, you are open to what you can give, receive, and experience together. You're too busy being in the moment when you have confidence and security to step into sex halting issues.

However, when you lack certainty about your sexual identity and your perception of yourself in general your thoughts will be preoccupied with low self-esteem, lack of confidence and insecurity, which when mixed with the stressors of life make for a disappointing, and empty sexual relationship.

Ex: When I have been preoccupied with poor body image my desire to be seen naked, as well as sexual interaction with my husband is overridden by my insecurity. My husband and I both lose in this situation and sex is filed away eliminating relationship bonding moments.

2. Are there any existing issues between you and your spouse that are standing in the way of you enjoying each other?

Women and Men (that's right I'm including Men) can be driven by their emotions and when things are not "right" in the relationship each gender can be distracted and led away from being in a frame of mind that precipitates a healthy, rewarding sexual experience.

Ex: When my husband and I have had a heated discussion, and I'm thinking we should have make-up sex he it not receptive and is does not happen.

Trust is a huge component when it comes to "feeling" as though one can be vulnerable with their spouse. Trust can be violated in many ways in marriage leaving someone withdrawn and feeling trapped. That person may desire a sexual relationship with their spouse, but their lack of trust may leave them feeling as though giving into that will be more hurtful to them than going without it.

3. What is going on with you physically that may be hindering who you are sexually?

Knowing what is going on with you physically is just a good idea in general. Since sex is so good for us physically as well as emotionally and psychologically shouldn't we have a solid idea of how our bodies are contributing to enjoyable sex or prohibiting it from happening?

Take note of what medication you are taking and the side effects on your body. I am a firm believer in doing whatever you can holistically to treat your body before you resort to any type of chemical treatment. Having said that, I realize medication is sometimes a necessity. Learn how your medication may be affecting you, and what you may be able to do about the side effects of it. Don't settle.

Also, be aware of how stress, and yes, age may have an impact on changing your hormones and how that affects your libido, emotions, self and relational perception.

Are you exercising regularly, and taking responsibility for your daily diet? A poor diet and sedentary lifestyle will sabotage who you are sexually and will ultimately affect what you and your spouse may be able to enjoy. Making healthy choices together adds so much to your general health, as well as the health and enhancement of your sexual relationship.

4. How do you and your spouse perceive sex in your relationship?

It's a shame that couples can fall into a rut with how they are handling the sexual part of their relationship, which is often times an indicator of how the relationship is in a rut in general. The problem is they may not recognize they have drifted into a lack luster pit with each other that only becomes more of a barrier as time passes unless they see it for what it is and do something about it.

The fact you that you are reading this means you are somewhat interested in making sure your relationship with your spouse is treated with the love and attention is must have to thrive.

Sex means different things to each of us, and it can become a wielded weapon for some in their marriage. Woe to the spouse, and or couple who use sex as a vehicle for position and power in the marriage. When sex is based on a punishment/reward system the marriage is in trouble.

Is sex an outward expression of your love for each other, your desire to please one another, a celebration of your marriage and union? Do you delight in the fruits of your spouse while simultaneously delighting in who you are sexually with them?

5. What things in your life are you allowing to get in the way or to provide an excuse for not having sex?

Yes, we all have busy, hectic lives and the multitude of things we need to get done in a day's time begin to pile up on us leaving us feeling overwhelmed, tired, and desperate for time without any demands or expectations.

Whether it's career, children, extended family, church, etc...That's demanding our time; we all must find balance in our lives in order to have genuine happiness and good health. It does not take long to get out of balance and start having a long list of negative thoughts which lead to negative feelings, and eventually destructive behavior.

When we are out of sorts in the marital relationship and life keeps coming at us regardless it may temporarily seem easier to use "life" as a means of escape from dealing with what is going on with our spouse and marriage. For example, you find yourself or your spouse saying, I'm too tired, I have a headache, I have to take care of the children, or I have to get this work done, etc...And this is more often than not, a strong indication that immediate action needs to occur. Something is out of balance and should be dealt with to protect the relationship and each spouse from going down a negative path that will lead to dysfunction and often hurtful, negative consequences.

6. How do you personally view sex?

Maybe this doesn't seem like a big deal, but it is. The belief system we developed as children can really get in the way when it comes to how we approach, and perceive ourselves and our spouse sexually.

I'm not going to go into all the many ways a faulty perception can sabotage the health of a sexual relationship, but I will say you need to really examine your beliefs. Whether they are spiritually manifested by parents, and or church, or maybe a previous negative experience with a partner, your conscious and sub-conscious beliefs will either propel you forward or constantly sabotage you if not addressed.

Many Christian-marriage books, as well as other well meaning literature regarding sex in marriage refers to the "man's" need for sex in marriage. If one does not use discernment when reading such literature faulty perceptions can be adapted.

If a women thinks that sex in her marriage is primarily about meeting her husband's needs then where is she to be with her own needs, desires, and beliefs about who she is sexually? If a man believes (and in his mind righteously believes) that sex in his marriage is about his wife meeting his sexual needs and nothing else that will probably lead to a one sided relationship that breeds resentment, hurt and frustration. This is merely an example of how distortion in beliefs may lead to problems.

This is in no way meant to disparage the wonderful Christian authors who have written excellent books to educate, and guide couples to healthier, happier marriages.

This is simply meant as a means to start the wheels spinning in your mind as to how you each personally view sex, and recognize any faulty perceptions that are hindering the health of your sexual relationship with your spouse.

This provides a great start to identifying where you and your spouse are sexually in your marriage, who you each are sexually, and what you want. Don't delay; every day is the best day to really enjoy your spouse, yourself and your marriage. Mix together some introspection, connection, discussion and experimentation and you have a wonderful recipe for a fantastic union.

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Sexual Health - A Key To Successful Marriage

Sexual Health affects all areas of your life, from your career, to your relationship, to your family. When you think about it, all life starts with sex. Every woman and man on the planet was brought into the world by a woman, through sex. Though our media is fascinated with sexual entertainment, thoughtful or practical discussions of real life sexual health and happiness, especially regarding women, are avoided. Western culture tends to not take the sexual health and happiness of women seriously. According to a University of Chicago study, 33.4% of women suffer from a low sex drive, 24.1% have problems reaching orgasm and 14.4% experience pain while having sex. Obviously we are having problems. So why should you address your sexual health and happiness?

An unhealthy sex life inhibits the development of relationships, most important one being the relationship you have with yourself. Neglecting your sexual being can be destructive to your self esteem. Having poor self esteem affects how we perform as employees, managers, business owners, mothers, wives and girlfriends. Low self esteem causes in-decisiveness. Because you doubt yourself, you doubt your decisions and if you doubt your decisions, so do other people. Low self esteem poisons relationships with friends, family, co-workers, parents and kids for several reasons. When you feel inadequate you set yourself up to be victimized by others or you victimize others.

Have you ever noticed how when you are wearing a hot new outfit and your hair looks right and your nails are done, things seem to magically go your way? When your self-esteem is through the roof, people feel it and treat you the way you treat yourself. John Eliot a psychologist who specializes in human performance cites confidence as one of the key ingredients in over-achievement! Feeling good about yourself makes good things happen! And how you feel about yourself sexually is a major component of your self identity.

Having a healthy sex life is also important in your romantic relationships. Do you enjoy having sex with your partner? Does sex with your partner satisfy you or do you always feel frustrated and unfulfilled? Do you still find your partner sexy and do you feel attractive and satisfying to your partner? Though there is much more to a great relationship than great sex, bad sex is definitely a problem! No one wants to be in an un-fulfilling relationship? And no one wants to suffer the damage of a divorce or break up when it could have been avoided. No matter how your relationship started, there comes a time when a healthy and fun sex life will take a conscious effort of communication, patience and education. To learn new things you must try new things!

"The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results". - Albert Einstein

Nowadays, not only does your sexual health have a serious effects on the health of your body but those of your children also. Many people are still undereducated about safe sex. Despite modern technology there are still record number of accidental pregnancies, while the rate of new reported STD cases grows astronomically. Some of these diseases can kill and can be passed on to unborn children. What many people don't want to talk about is that even married and monogamous women becoming infected, because they are in physically and emotionally unhealthy sexual relationships with their husbands.

So ladies (and gentlemen if you are reading), please take your sexual health and happiness seriously because so much is at stake! Take time to educate yourself on how to enjoy sex safely. Have intelligent discussions with friends and families. Stay abreast on the latest developments in sexual health and medicine and understand that the art of giving and receiving sexual pleasure is as important as important, if not more so than cooking, painting or music. Yes, there is such a thing as dirty sex, but sex is not dirty.

Kat Williams

Ladies, go to GreatSex4Girls.com and learn how to better enjoy sexual intimacy with your husband or boyfriend!