Correct Perspective About Money and Emotional Health

Preoccupation with Money at the Expense of Health

Becoming instant millionaires or at least being financially rich is the aim of many people today. This has given rise to the mushrooming of self help gurus, books and motivational courses to cater to the needs of such people. People are becoming more and more pre-occupied with the idea of making money and more money. There is nothing wrong with this trend as long as they keep it in perspective and realise the importance of other aspects of life as well. For instance there is no point in making more money if they end up with vast reserves of money and are unable to enjoy it due to poor health. And in most cases, poor health stems from mental stress and negative emotions which interestingly blocks their ability to attract wealth into their lives

Money Cannot Buy Everything

Acquiring money should not be the end result of perseverance. People should know what to do with money and how to get money work for them. They should also realise that money is just a tool to help them get what they want in life and that money is not the end all of their efforts. Then there are many things in life that money cannot buy, so if people live their lives intelligently while being aware of what they can achieve, with or without money, they can be assured of a better quality of life. As is widely known in many circles, you can use money to buy a house but not a home, a clock but not time, a bed but not sleep, a book but not knowledge, a doctor's services but not good health, a position but not respect and last but not least, blood can be bought but not life. So there is more to life than just getting preoccupied with acquiring money.

Money Alone Isn't Enough

When people are solely preoccupied with making money and acquiring material possessions, their world view gets distorted. And they fail to observe all other aspects that are necessary for a successful life, like healthy relationships and good health. This preoccupation and obsession leads to more and more people suffering from stress related ailments. The sad part is that accumulated negative emotions can kill. From my private practice as a hypnotherapist, I find that negative emotions that are not released can get congested in different parts of the body, causing physical ailments, which if left untreated, can even be life threatening.

How Emotions affect our Life

Our life is made up of a constant flow of events, with events from our past, our thought projections into the future and a never ending stream of 'Nows'- all affecting us at the same time. In other words, we are a sum result of our past, present and future. Out of each moment, we weave the tapestry of our life. All our memories, hopes and dreams, successes and failures, depend on what we do with each fleeting moment. Our experience of life is based on our interpretation of each event which in turn again depends entirely on the emotions that we attach to the event. How we feel about each situation, determines our experience of, and our reaction to, the event.

Understanding Emotions for Better Financial Stability

Our emotions affect our thought processes and attitude and vice versa. For example, people can get upset when things go wrong, like when there is a slip up at work, when things are not done on time, when they cannot meet deadlines or when they are overworked. As their emotions take a turn towards unhappiness, their attitude also swings in the same downward direction, becoming prone to more negative thoughts. This soon starts affecting every aspect of their lives. When people are unable to function as a result of all these negativities, they start attracting misery and misfortune instead of wealth, health and happiness. So a good understanding of emotions and how to manage them will help people take charge of their life and adopt a more positive outlook. This way, they are in a better position to attract wealth, health and happiness into their lives.

A Matter of Choice- What will you do?

It is a fact of life that life is not just a bed of roses. At some points in our life, we are bound to face setbacks and disappointments. The question is: Do we get sucked in when we face adversity or are we able to maintain a positive outlook and an optimistic view of life? Are we able to use our skills in situations that take a turn for the worse? Are we strong enough to withstand pressures and survive tough times? Are we able to understand our emotions and manage them effectively? Are we able to prevent outside events like the rise and fall of stocks to influence our judgements or affect our performance? Are we able to rise up to the occasion instead of wallowing in self-pity and resigning ourselves to what fate has in store for us? Are we able to control our attitude and take charge of our life and prevent outside factors from controlling us? It is all a matter of choice. If the answers to all these questions are 'yes', then we've got the right attitude. However, many people have found that despite all the good advice they get about how to succeed in life and despite the numerous motivational talks they've attended and the equally numerous self-help books they've read, they're still clueless as to how to succeed in life- mentally, physically and emotionally. What then is the ultimate solution?

Whose Help Do You Seek When Faced With Emotional Issues?

The more we understand our emotions, the better we'll be in trying to manage them so that they do not adversely affect our performance, both in social and business situations. In many cases, when we get overwhelmed by our negative emotions, we are unable to make wise decisions. This situation can be counter productive in a business setting when we have to make decisions that are financially sound. However there is always a solution. Just as we seek the help of specialists for health reasons, we need to seek the assistance of hypnotherapists when it comes to emotional issues that may seem overwhelming.

How Emotions Influence Judgements

Albert Schweitzer (Jan 14 1875 to Sept 4 1965), a German philosopher, physician, humanitarian and theologian who was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize in 1952, once said that most people, especially westerners, tend to conceive themselves as rational human beings driven by rational thought, but he felt that this view was not true. Schweitzer said:

"People undervalue the extent to which emotions influence their judgements."

How can a Hypnotherapist Help?

A hypnotherapist can help people understand their feelings and how to manage them. The way it's done is through the subconscious mind, so the results are more often quite permanent. When I work with clients, I start off with psychotherapy where I talk to clients and help them reframe their thought patterns and feelings. Then I do hypnotherapy with them working according to the issues that are uncovered during the process. Finally I teach them self-hypnosis which empowers them and lets them take control of their life and not be dependent on me. They are able to practice this everyday until we meet again for the next session. This also ensures that the session they do with me is reinforced, making the whole process more effective. And this skill is something they take back with them for life so that if another problem surfaces later in life, they will know what to do.

Take Action Now!

Why wait? If you want to remove mental or emotional blockages to your success and if you want to remove past baggage that is preventing you from being as successful as you want to be, then call me now so that you can start transforming your life. This is the time to start attracting wealth, health and happiness into your life so that you can claim the life that is rightfully yours.

How to Contact Me?

Please email info@petrahypnosis.com or fauziahshah@gmail.com for more details. You may also call my office at +65-64639500 or my business mobile at +65-91000432. To know more before you contact me, you may visit my website: www.petrahypnosis.com.

You may check out my profile on my websites and other internet sites.

With you on the Path to Success!

Fauziah Shah (Ms)

www.petrahypnosis.com

Mental - Emotional Disorders and Chinese Medicine

The Nei Jing which can be said to be the "Source" of all ancient theories of Chinese Medicine and which is also widely accepted as the earliest text devoted to medicine says: "In children blame the spleen, in adults blame the liver, in the aged blame the kidneys". What this means is that in children the most common cause of illness is a weak spleen which in effect means weak digestive abilities, in adults the main cause of illness is related to the liver, of which the most common TCM pathology is Liver Qi stagnation. In the aged the kidneys are to blame because it is the kidneys that hold the essence of life which have by now been largely consumed just as a candle consumes itself by giving off light. It is the statement with regard to adults that I will elaborate further on.

The liver in TCM is said to control the flow of qi in the body, it also opens into the eyes, stores blood (which it releases to other areas of the body when required), controls the contraction and relaxation of muscles, controls the emotions of anger, irritability and frustration and also influences strategy and decision making. We say that the liver houses the Hun, the ethereal soul which leaves the body when a person passes away and also allows for the focus of the individual on long term goals and objectives. The reason that the Nei Jing says blame the liver in adults is because adults are by definition those who have now come to live with "delayed gratification" as opposed to a child who seeks "instant gratification". This social constraint of not being able to do what we want to when we want to do it is in effect an inhibition of the qi mechanism, which in turn causes the qi to stagnate. This qi stagnation, since it being a function of the liver to maintain free flow of qi, first affects the liver manifesting as anger, frustration and irritability on a mental emotional level and because of the interrelationships of the liver with other organs can manifest as stomach cramps, nausea and vomiting, and in fact a myriad of other symptoms depending on which organ or system is attacked by the build up of qi in the liver.

The classic feature that presents when any of the above symptoms are due to Liver qi stagnation is that the symptoms are worse for stress, it is therefore useful to ask: "Is it worse for stress?" or if you feel you will be leading the patient ask what the symptoms are worse and better for.

Acupuncture points that are useful for liver qi stagnation include Liver 3, Liver 13, LI4, Ren12, UB 18. Herbal formulae that are useful include Xao Yao San, Chai Hu Shu Gan San and even Bu Zhong Yi Qi Tang when accompanied by Spleen qi vacuity.

The liver is the organ/system most often implicated in mental-emotional disorders though the other organs/systems also have similar relationships as follows:

Spleen/Stomach - Excessive worry and thinking can damage the spleen/stomach causing such symptoms as loose stools, metrorhaggia, profuse bleeding, poor appetite and in long standing cases are often the cause of many autoimmune disorders. Such patients may also have difficulty making decisions and be prone to obsessive behaviours

Kidneys - The emotion of the kidney is fear and it houses the Zhi which is the will, hence lack of willpower and inordinate fear are typical when the kidney is weak. Fright or excessive fear may also induce kidney weakness which may then manifest as bedwetting, incontinence and impotence.

Lungs - The lungs are weakened by grief and sadness. Since the lungs are intimately involved in the production of qi in the body this often leads to deficient qi manifesting as chronic fatigue, shortness of breath and asthma.

Heart - The heart is damaged by excessive joy, which we say slows the qi down or causes it to become "slack", this can be fatal if the individual already has a heart condition.

Sometimes patients come in for a particular mental-emotional or prediagnosed psychiatric condition. TCM is well suited to treating such disorders because of the novel approach and tools at the practitioners disposal, here follows the common patterns that are behind many of these disorders and some tips on their treatment:

Obsessive-compulsive disorders/tendencies - This condition is most often related to a weakness of the spleen with resultant accumulation of dampness. Acupuncture points include ST40, SP3. Herbal formulae include Modified Si Jun Zi Tang.

Withdrawal - Often due to either kidney yang vacuity in which case the problem is not enough willpower to engage the outside world or cold-phlegm obstructing the portals of the heart which almost always presents with a tongue with a thick white coating that covers the majority of the tongue surface. Points: Kidney vacuity - UB23, K7; Phlegm - ST40, Yintang. Herbal formulae: Kidney vacuity - Fu Gui Ba Wei Wan; Phlegm - Ban Xia Bai Zhu Tian Ma Wan

Mania - Can be due to liver-fire or phlegm-fire obstructing the heart. Points: Liver-fire - Liv 2; Phlegm - ST40, Liv 2. Herbal formulae: Liver fire - Long Dan Xie Gan Wan; Phlegm - Wen Dan Tang

Anxiety - Usually either blood or yin vacuity.

Paranoia - More often blood stasis but can be blood vacuity as well

Seasonal Affective Disorder - Almost always Kidney yang vacuity

It must be stressed in conclusion that although Acupuncture and Chinese Herbal Medicine can effectively treat many mental-emotional disorders, the practitioner cannot assume the role of the psychotherapist or psychologist. It is essential that if the underlying pattern has an issue that needs addressing by a qualified counselor or therapist, as in the case of trauma, that the TCM practitioner work together with such a professional in managing the illness together.

(Please note: This article is intended for practitioners and to give an insight to the public on how Chinese Medicine is able to treat mental health issues, if you are not a practitioner please do not act on the advice given herein, rather consult a professional practitioner of Chinese Medicine who will be able to treat based on the individual nuances of your condition)

Dr Latib is a lecturer and practitioner of Chinese Medicine and Acupuncture in Johannesburg, South Africa. He is also a professional board member of the Allied Health Professions Council of South Africa and is actively involved in the academic and regulatory aspects of the profession.

You can visit his website at [http://www.drlatib.com]

Emotional Connection and Good Health - Why We Shouldn't Do It All Alone

"Self-sufficiency" and "independence" are qualities our culture promotes and even idealizes. Look to the movies for the attractiveness of "the strong silent type" of man. And the professionally successful, self-reliant woman achieves higher social status today than the warm, nurturing, relationship-oriented woman of decades past.

One could say that we have not only enculturated a love affair with self-reliance, but also gone to the extreme of promoting pathological self-reliance. While self- sufficiency and independence to a point are important benchmarks of adulthood, taken too far, these same traits are hazardous to our hearts.

Henry S. Lodge, MD, author of Younger Next Year, writes, "the science of the past decade has demonstrated that love, companionship and community are deeply women into our DNA. Emotional connection is a biological imperative, and we pay a high price for ignoring it. Isolation is what's unnatural--and deadly."

Lodge notes that men who have heart attacks who go home to empty houses and have "a high level of stress are four times more likely to die within the first few years." For those who are most isolated, the risk of premature death from any cause is up to five times higher.

And being connected impacts the small stuff as well as long-term health. More connected people are happier and healthier across the spectrum of life. Having a strong sense of social connection will reduce the number of colds you'll get, in addition to increasing the odds of surviving cancer. Many of us take daily vitamin tablets. We also have daily requirements for love, friendship and community!

We would all be healthier if our culture would teach emotional literacy skills--to know ones own heart, and to value the time investment required to build and sustain intimate relationships. Instead of trying to push away, shut off, ignore or medicate our emotions, we need to learn to understand and heed the messages they give.

Emotions get a bad rap in our culture, and this creates a dangerous form of emotional illiteracy. Our bodies and brains have a constant stream of sensations, thoughts and feelings, providing a sense of who we are, what we want and what we need. Trying to shut our emotions off is hazardous to our health. Learning to speak the language of our emotions and our bodies can help live a healthier and happier life.

This information really challenges the "I am a rock, I am an island," socialization process for men, which also has effected more and more women, as our society has promoted professional success and devalued investing time in nurturing relationships. I am afraid the pathological self-reliance idealized in our culture is rooted in the degree of heart trauma people live through and then ultimately, live with.

How do we promote connection in our daily lives?

1. Make time to cuddle up. My cats curl up with one another and sleep contently every day. The same can hardly be said for most people in our culture, including those who live with a partner.

2. Understand the biological imperative to be part of a group. It may be easier to do everything on your own, but you will go farther and last longer if you take the time to do things with friends, family and loved ones. Lodge says, "reconnecting with your community becomes a life-affirming, lifesaving and urgent priority."

3. Invest in and value your primary relationship. Men who are married live longer than men who are not. This may be credited to their wives' emotional connections. A woman's death cuts about five years off her husband's life expectancy. The fact that if a man dies, his wife's life expectancy drops for the first four years, but as she adjusts to her new life, her life expectancy increases. Men would benefit greatly from putting more effort into building an emotional infrastructure.

4. Reach out to others. So many of us are always waiting for the other person to make the first move. Don't wait. Initiate. Find a concert you want to attend, and invite a friend or loved one to join you. Have a group of people over for dinner. Talk to the person exercising next to you at the gym.

5. Turn off the tv, and tune in to your relationships. So many people rely on the constant chatter of the television set to keep them company as they decompress after a long day. While the news can be a constant companion, it's not the same as a real- time conversation--or silent moment--with a loved one or friend.

©2008 Linda Marks

Linda Marks, MSM has practiced body psychotherapy in Newton, MA for more than 23 years. She works with individuals, couples and groups, and leads workshops on "Healing the Traumatized Heart." Linda holds degres from Yale and MIT. You can reach her at http://www.healingheartpower.com

Linda's blog is http://www.heartspacecafe.com/blog

Emotional Health for 2007 and Beyond - Six Practical Strategies

January is the best time of the year to start fresh. Worn-out, dysfunctional ways of thinking of the previous year should give way to practical, effective "mental" habits. My priority for this year is to share with you my experience and knowledge about mental health, and how you can improve it.

To perform optimally at work or at home, we need to be aware of our emotions and have to manage them well to further our goals. With a healthy emotion, we can make good decisions, maintain enjoyable long-term relationships, and become more productive.

Reduce stress

Too much stress is lethal because it harmfully affects not only our emotions but also our physical health. In my practice, I've seen people who develop clinical depression, frequent fatigue, back pain, and headache from severe stress.

So contain stress as much as possible. Prevent conflicts at work. If possible, don't overwork and never deprive yourself of adequate rest and sleep. At home, establish humor and let your kids and partner laugh. They will treasure it forever.

Moreover, avoid unnecessary debts and always pay bills on time. Don't assume any added responsibilities you can't handle. Say "no" if you don't feel like saying "yes" and I can assure you, life will be better for you when you say what you exactly feel.

Involve in regular exercise

Several studies have consistently shown that physical and mental activities are good for your health. Those individuals who exercise regularly have better quality of life, strength, feelings of well-being, and physical functioning. In fact, regular exercise can prevent the occurrence of high blood pressure, stroke, and heart attack.

In addition to physical health benefits, exercise can enhance psychological functioning by addressing mild anxiety and depression, improving self-esteem, and reducing stress-related conditions.

While brisk walking and jogging can keep your body healthy, frequent reading, playing card games, and solving crossword puzzles can keep you mentally sharp. These exercises cost almost nothing and the benefits are huge.

Watch your food intake

Exercise is not enough though. Your food intake can likewise determine how you feel. Eat low salt, low-caloric, and high fiber foods. Wheat, rice, fish, fruits, and vegetables are outstanding examples of healthy foods. Avoid fatty meals and processed foods with high amounts of dehydrogenated fats that increase your risk of developing heart problems and stroke.

Alcoholic beverages should be minimized if not completely avoided. Aside from memory lapses, excessive alcohol use can impair your thinking and judgment. Because alcohol is a depressant, it also makes you feel depressed. Meanwhile, excessive use of caffeinated drinks such as coffee, tea, and soda can keep you awake at night and make you feel anxious during the day.

Practice the I AM principle

In my practice, I have taught individuals the I AM principle -- an acronym that refers to three important ways to live a peaceful existence. One, Ignore trifles. If we can only focus on two to three things that we value and that really matter to us, then we can live a more contented life. Unfortunately for some of us, we chase new toys, acquire huge houses, and work overtime up to the point when our health, our families, and our peace of mind suffer.

Two, Accept the things that you can't change. I've met many people who feel miserable simply because the weather is "lousy", or an ex-wife had committed adultery, or that they failed to buy Microsoft stocks 15 years ago. It's important to dwell on things that you have some control -- the present. And three, Move on. Yes, always attempt to release the past and trifles from your grip so you can move on and enjoy life right now.

Establish good relationships

Having a healthy relationship is one of the keys to happiness. Many contented individuals share one thing -- they give love and are loved in return. In anything we do, we need to develop positive relationships. Success is based on establishing networks that will take you to the next level.

When at work, try to get along with everyone especially with your boss. Stress level is reduced and productivity increased when you work harmoniously with others. At home, couples who openly communicate and develop ways to resolve differences have lasting marriages. And families who share something special together end up happy together.

Make people feel important. Shower them with praise and show that you care. When they speak, give them your focus and attention. Make them laugh.

Ask for help

One of the mistakes most people make is not to ask for help when faced with problems or emotional difficulties. Instead, they remain in denial or they procrastinate with the hope that the problem will soon go away.

This attitude, although it serves a purpose for some people, is actually a recipe for self-destruction simply because any unaddressed problem can result in more difficulties and more complicated issues later on. In my practice, I've seen marriages breaking down simply because the initial "minor miscommunication" between couples has gradually eroded to major fights. It's always prudent to face personal and marital issues head on.

During hard times, monitor yourself closely for any mood changes. Do you feel down, anxious, tired, or restless? Have you lost interest to do things? When you notice any mood problems or if you can't handle your personal and work issues, then ask for help.

In summary, those individuals who diligently prepare survive but only those who are emotionally capable will thrive. I hope that these six strategies can help you attain the emotional health you deserve for 2007 and beyond.

Copyright c 2007. Dr. Michael G. Rayel - author (A 31-Day Series and First Aid to Mental Illness) psychiatrist, and inventor of emotional intelligence games -- The Oikos Game Series. Recently, he has published his blog Shrink your troubles away! http://www.shrinkyourtroubles.com/blog/ as an online resource for mental health and personal development. For more information, visit http://www.oikosglobal.com

How Do I Move Forward After a Relationship Breakup With an Emotional Abuser?

You've come to the place on your journey since involvement with an emotional abuser where you've asked yourself no less than a gazillion questions. Getting the correct answer to your next question, "How do I move forward after a relationship breakup with an emotional abuser?" is paramount.

Why is the correct answer paramount? The correct answer is what will give you peace and will lay the groundwork for what will possibly be the most exciting next chapter in your life if you so choose to ever enter the dating scene again in hopes of finding the true knight in shining armor.

After a relationship breakup, time is required to mend and heal your broken heart. One of the thoughts that will enter your mind during the healing process after a destructive and emotionally abusive relationship is the fear of, "What if this happens again to me?"

You might even be able to recognize that you've had a repeat pattern of getting involved with the same type of person with similar outcomes, so you fear even more so the thought of ever dating again. If you recognize a repeat pattern, it is possibly due to your not investing time in your healing process determining what it is you want in your next relationship.

If you've gone through a relationship breakup and immediately immersed yourself in the dating scene thinking getting involved with someone else will help ease the pain, beware. You most likely will attract and be attracted to the same type of person you just broke up with or who just broke up with you.

Taking the time and asking yourself, "How do I move forward after a relationship breakup with an emotional abuser?" from the following perspective will prove to be foundational for successful future relationships, if you choose to ever date again.

Looking at the relationship that you just had with an emotional abuser should give you an extremely clear picture of what you do not ever want again in your life. Your horrific and life threatening relationship has allowed you to find out exactly what you do not want and what you will not tolerate.

If you look at the relationship you just got out of with an emotional abuser from the perspective that it was a waste of time, a waste of money, as well as a waste of a whole lot of other things, it will be difficult, if not impossible to move forward in complete health. It is part of the process of getting out of the relationship to assess how you are wasting time, money, your health, safety, etc., but in the healing process these factors need to be put in their proper perspective.

Identifying, acknowledging, and accepting that you wasted valuable resources and that you allowed yourself to be personally devalued is an angering and humbling experience. How can you move successfully forward being empowered after such an experience?

You ask yourself, "How do I move forward after a relationship breakup with an emotional abuser without being bitter and broken? How do I move forward with strength?"

The answer to your question begins with the gradual understanding that your experience of being in an emotionally abusive relationship gave you the clearest picture life could ever give you of exactly what you do not want. With that lesson, you can begin to identify exactly what you do want.

Once you are able to identify exactly what you do want and focus on those things, you are positioning yourself to look for, attract, and be attracted to the types of people that have those qualities.

Walking out your life knowing exactly what you want is a priceless key.

This truth might initially be difficult to swallow depending on where you are in your healing process. For some, this truth might not be able to even be tolerated.

For those who want to be empowered and strengthened by the torment and living hell of having been involved with an emotional abuser, this truth will be foundational.

This truth will prove to be foundational in finding peace and living with the hope that, yes, there are good people out there. And, yes, there is a knight in shining armor looking for you, just as you look for him.

FREE eBook, "5 BIGGEST Mistakes Made in a Relationship With an Emotional Abuser" - http://grabyourfreegift.com/ruthd

FREE guides "What is emotional abuse?" and "What is an emotional abuser?" - Ruth Elaine David, Professional Mental Health Provider, teaches people how to prevent and stop emotional abuse in their intimate relationships with narcissistic/emotional abusers

To access your FREE eBook and guides TODAY, visit: http://www.EscapeEmotionalAbuserNow.com

Your Emotional Health and Your Relationships

Your relationships are affected by your emotional health. The healthier you are emotionally the stronger your relationships will be with others. The best thing you can do for your spouse, family and loved ones is to take care of yourself. Here are some tips on how to take care of yourself so you can better care for others:

1. Your emotional health requires you to listen to your emotions - Even though you can't afford to be controlled by your emotions they are often an indicator of how you are handling the stresses of life. If you find yourself experiencing an inordinate intensity of emotions (fear, anxiety, anger) or, if there is a particular emotion that seems to be dominating you, usually it is an indication that something is "out of joint" in how you are thinking and approaching your life and relationships.

You may want to discuss with a close friend or your partner the emotions you are struggling with. Often times they will be able to help you identify where the emotions are coming from. Ultimately, it is what you are meditating on that determines your feelings. Your life will always move in the direction of your most dominate thought.

The scripture says; "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me-put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you." [Philippians 4:8-9]

2. Your emotional health requires that you withdraw - In the Bible we read, "Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, "Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest." [Mark 6:31] Here we see that after an intense time of ministry, Jesus encouraged His disciples to take time to recharge and re-energize their hearts.

In the same way, it is necessary to have a regular time where you withdraw from the demands of life in order to be with Him. It is in these times that you are able to allow His Spirit and Word to breathe new life and energy into your soul.

3. Your emotional health requires you only carry what is yours - It is easy to make the mistake of carrying responsibilities that aren't yours. You are not responsible for everyone's happiness. For example, just as you are responsible for your choices and attitudes it is the responsibility of others to choose their behavior and attitudes.

It is exhausting to attempt to carry the weight of the responsibility of others, in addition to carrying the responsibility of your own life. Jesus says, Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." [Matthew 11:29,30]

http://www.relationship-builder.com

http://www.relationship-builder.com/how-to-be-happy-in-marriage/

A Guide to Emotional Abuse in a Relationship

One of the most difficult settings a person has to live and cope with is a relationship. It can be complicated, as many may have experienced. Here and there, online and offline, texts about tips on relationships abound, as if it is a mystery having to be deciphered, or a leap into a void of uncertainty. But is there ever an accurate manual in creating a successful relationship? After all, relationships differ from one to another, just as one person is distinct from the next. Certain rules may apply for some, for others not. As there is no definite or step-by-step guide to having a happy relationship, those in it are placed in a vulnerable position.

For instance, if a relationship happens to be abusive, then this can create a broken or disintegrated person within the scenario. If one party in the relationship is abused, it can have massive consequences on their mental and emotional health. From this particular problematic core, other aspects in their life are then often negatively affected. There is quite a large percentage of relationships in which a party is emotionally abused. Emotional abuse more often takes on the form of brain washing. In an almost systematic and relentless way, a person becomes stripped of their self-esteem and self-confidence. Emotional abuse is inflicted by constant belittling, berating, domination, intimidation and humiliation.

The result is then somebody who not only suffers from unhappiness or depression, but the wounds can go far as losing one's sense of self and personal value. There may not be physical signs of emotional abuse. But the effects are far more deep, cutting down to one's very spiritual heart. An emotionally abused person may in fact not recognize the abuse inflicted on them. There is the so-called cycle of emotional abuse which parents pass on to their children. A person who themselves grew up in an abusive environment may not be able to distinguish that they themselves suffer from emotional abuse.

For them, an environment of emotional abuse has become the usual. An abused person may not be able to determine what normal relationship strife is from emotional abuse. Even the healthiest relationships experience conflicts and disagreements from time to time. No two people in any context agree on every single issue. But there is a distinction between occasional conflict and abusive behavior. For a person suffering from emotional abuse, this distinction is blurred. And they ma emotionally abused person y live in constant unhappiness which could lead to deterioration. For a person experiencing emotional abuse, they ought to identify and recognize the abuse.

This is not an easy step, but it would help if they talked to friends or family members who can listen without judging. A counselor, social worker or support group can also be of much help. The longer the emotional abuse takes place, the more difficult it is to escape. Emotional abuse strikes the very core of a person. And emotional abuse in a relationship determines whether a person is happy or not, responsible or otherwise, a success or a failure. This is the significance of a relationship- it can make or break a person. Relationships are dealt with day by day, and are supposed to grow in the same manner.

Random occurrences take place, both good and bad. For a relationship to succeed, it takes people who are keen and flexible enough to cope with random events. There is no step by step guide to relationships, but the most basic rule remains that people in it keep an open mind to growth and giving each other proper due.

The author of this article Rose Windale is a Health and Wellness Coach who has been successful with several natural health programs for many years. Rose decided to share her knowledge and tips through her website http://www.healthzine.org. You can sign up for her free newsletter and enjoy a healthy and happy life.