The Power to Create - Stop Self-Sabotaging Your Relationships!

You have heard the excuses or even said them yourself. You know the ones like, " I want you to be happy", " I don't want to get hurt", or even "I don't want me or you to settle". The purpose of self-sabotage can sometimes appear to be even noble, that usually means trying to avoid the hurt & pain that comes with the joy & love in relationships. The purpose of self-sabotage can sometimes appear to be even noble, that usually means trying to avoid the hurt & pain that comes with the joy & love in relationships.

Sorry, folks, but all of the above goes hand in hand in relationships. Overcoming past hurts and even embarrassments takes a lot of inner strength because one has to deal with the truth about not only others, but themselves. Learn to be fair to yourself and to be fair to those you love and....that love you back. Beginning anew is not easy to do. So before venturing into the new, make sure you have a handle of the old. Be sure that you are ready to become involved in a relationship before you begin a new one. If you are already in a relationship and it's recognized by you or your significant other that you are pushing your loved one away, then seek out to discover how you can break the cycle of self-sabotage & begin the journey of self discovery. Recognize that you have the POWER TO CREATE. So what do you want to create for yourself, your relationship, your family? Want to exercise your POWER now? Here are some helpful tips to start you on your way to bringing anew :

1. Begin to journal. Writing down your thoughts and reflect monthly to recognize your progress of your healing process.

2. Talk to your significant other about what they see. Don't push if they don't feel comfortable or unable to give you any feedback. That's OK, and beginning the discussion will at least let your loved one know you care and want to be a better companion, person, etc. It can create a world of positive possibilities.

3. Recognize your own power in creating a happier, healthier you. Take ownership of your well- being and the well-being of your relationship.

4. Don't be shy, if needed or wanted, seek help from a trained professional. You should take care of your mental health and well-being like you do your physical health.

5. Above all else, try not to place a timeline on your healing process. The effort of overcoming years of pain and self-doubt takes time. The journey of self-discovery is a life journey.

Neek, the Love Coach

Sex, Relationships & the Love in Between....

2009. All rights reserved.

Talena C. Queen is Neek,the Love Coach,relationship coach and owner/operator of Couchtime.net, is delivering dating & relationship advice for the 21st century that is "Straight with NO Chaser"! "Let's talk about what turns you on &..off." The Love in Between....it's about the love of self, others & life! Tune in and call in every other Wednesday at 11pm (EST) beginning August 19, 2009. Talk to Neek, the Love Coach.....

To keep updated on all of Neek, the Love Coach happenings, visit her website at http://www.couchtime.net

The Importance of Marriage Counseling in Saving Marital Relationships

Nowadays, the prevalence of couples that are going through marital problems is increasing in numbers. To a Christian community, separation and divorce are not the solution to marital problems. Every relationship undergoes rough patch. Almost every one of us experience problems that are brought by indifference, money or financial problems, jealousy, third party and other marital problems. Those people who would like to save their relationship undergo marriage counseling from a Utah marriage counselor or anywhere else they are in the world.

Marital problems are not only brought by problems such as financial instability and third-party relationships. It may even root from the use of drugs by one of the member of the family resulting to depression, anxiety and other mental disorder. If this will be the reason why there are problems in the family, the person involved must undergo treatments and counseling from Utah family therapist, Utah therapy, Utah mental health or any other institution that helps in guiding those individuals to become a better person.

Some marriage counselor's advice couples to have time dating in order to know one another much better. The couples must be given the chance to know more and discover what the couple likes to happen in their relationship. Dating can be an excellent healing process because it allows both parties to remember the times when they first met and the sweetness as well as the love that was developed between them. It can also bring fun to their lives. Marriage counseling often includes dating as a part of repairing broken marriages.

Since almost all couples argue, arguments are normal. In a relationship, someone is always right, and someone is always wrong regarding any argument. The only difference matters on the acceptance of whoever is right and who made the mistake must learn to swallow their pride and be humble in accepting that they are indeed wrong. Although it is so hard to admit that we are wrong, at times, it is extremely beneficial for a person to admit their wrong deeds in order to save the marriage. You and your partner must handle any issue professionally and not by throwing plates or things that are in the house.

Some married couples who have hard times in fixing their relationship seek guidance and professional help from a marriage counselor. Utah marriage counselors or any other counselors for married couples today can teach couples on how to manage their fears, emotions and anger, insecurity and many more. One of the most common reasons for marital problem is infidelity. How many families today are broken because of this issue? If only those who experienced infidelity of their husbands or wives are brave enough to say that they are a victim of infidelity, then we can give a definite answer to that question. Most people prefer to keep silent in order to save their families from shame and rumor or gossip.

Why is marriage counseling so effective in resolving marital conflicts? This is because marriage counselors listen carefully to both sides. Marriage counselors actively listen that is why clients would feel at ease to open up and talk more regarding the things that are bothering them. If only both partners know how to give and take and listen carefully, then there are no broken marriages or broken relationships. Listening is the basic principle in counseling.

In summary, the reason why marriage counseling can save marriage is because of the ability of most marriage counselor to listen carefully with any concern that the couple has. Marriage counselors will listen to whatever things that their client may say and then they provide feedback that will help resolve the issue or give solutions to the problem. Always remember in times that a marital problem gets into worst; seek professional help from any marriage counselor in the community that have proven effective results in saving a married couple.

Sherwin Ree E. Miras has been in the field of handling Utah family therapist for a long time and maintains a Utah marriage counselor company where you can get answers to the rest of your questions.

Understanding and Freeing Yourself From Abusive Relationships

You don't really know what you've got in a relationship until you've been with someone for a long time and by then, you've already got used to that wonderful, charming human being that you'd fallen in love with and then things start to go horribly wrong.

If someone is not treating you the way you deserve to be treated, then it's time to stand up for yourself, which often means having to make the decision to let go and set yourself free to be with someone who will offer you the love and respect you deserve. We are all wonderful, unique human beings and deserve nothing less.

It's hard to withdraw when you've already spent a lot of good times with them, fallen for their charms, love and adore them so much; remembering how good things can be and clinging to the hope that things will get better. You're already strongly, emotionally attached to them, yet they have begun to abuse you mentally, emotionally, verbally, physically and financially. You don't want things to end but at the same time they're making you feel worthless, destroying your self confidence and affecting your health.

They have enslaved you, to some extent, attempting to have total control over every aspect of your life. They have alienated you from friends and family in an attempt to restrict your contact with them, but at the same time will feed them with lies about what a horrible, nasty person you are.

You are aware that they're doing this, but still, you're hopeful that you can fix them; that their behavior will stop and you're not giving up on the dream. Meantime, you're losing the respect of everyone around you because you're refusing to free yourself from this situation.

You are left with him/her and it's YOU who needs therapy. That's their ultimate goal.

Sound familiar?

Why do we meet these people? I firmly believe that we meet everyone in this life for a reason and that the most difficult people we meet are our greatest teachers.

If you find yourself in such a relationship, then you definitely have some self esteem issues to work through. Otherwise, why else would you waste time with someone who would belittle you and make you feel unworthy, when there are so many wonderful people out there ready to complement your life - mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually?

I've had to stand by and watch friends be treated very badly by an abuser and sympathize with them, but, there's nothing I can do for them or that we can do for ourselves, until we decide that we've had enough and it's time to help ourselves.

No-one can help you, but you. And only you, in your own good time, can get to the root of the problem and decide that enough is enough.

Take a look at your past and particularly, your childhood. There was someone then that treated you badly in some way, making you feel unworthy. This person has been put in front of you now to re-awaken those feelings and for you to work through them. You don't deserve to be treated like that or made to feel like that by anyone in this life and, until you realize this and stand up for yourself, then you will continue to go in an out of abusive relationships.

If you refuse to pinpoint and deal with those issues now, then you will continue in your relationship, with things becoming progressively worse. Maybe not - maybe something extreme will happen e.g. they end up beating you severely or walking off with their next victim. In either case, you're left on your own again until the next abusive partner comes along. And so the cycle continues.

Many people just go from one abusive relationship to another, without ever fixing the issues that are leading them into those relationships. It is not until we love, respect and stand up for ourselves, that we end this cycle and allow other, loving and respectful human beings to enter our lives.

What about the abuser? What's their problem?

Again, this person has issues, which are deeply rooted in their childhood. They have obviously witnessed and/or experienced some form of abuse in order for them to have picked up this behavior. However, the abusers can be split into two categories:

The first category is your typical 'run of the mill' abusive relationship. There's a cycle, where there's the abuse, then the apologies, then swearing their undying love to their partner, full of promises that they will change and that they will never do it again. And so, the abused partner, more often than not, goes back for more.

That, to a degree, I can understand because the abused partner is always hopeful that they actually will change. I myself believe that everyone on this earth is inherently good and capable of change, but, at the same time, how many apologies are you going to accept?

Unless your partner is showing definite signs of change i.e. progressing therapy, taking accountability and changes in their behavior, then how long are you willing to put up with their behavior before you decide that you are worth so much more?

The second category is the sociopath. Like your 'normal' abuser, they can be so charming externally, but, once you've noticed that your other half is displaying sociopath tendencies, it's time to withdraw as soon as you possibly can. You can't fix them and you can't make them happy. It's impossible! They don't want happiness and when they find it, they will do all they can to systematically destroy it. They are not 'happy' unless they're miserable.

The difference between the two is very easy to spot because, unlike your 'normal' abuser, who will apologize, try to make amends and can show signs of improvement, the sociopath will show nothing but contempt for those who try to understand and help them. They have no conscience, no guilt and therefore absolutely nothing to apologize for. They can sit and look at pictures of the abuse and swear blind that they didn't do that. Alternatively, they will admit to their behavior, but they fail to recognize it as abusive - it was your fault and you deserved to be treated like that. They will tell you that you are the one with the problem and making big issues out of nothing.

There are other tell-tale signs:

They are incapable of commitment. They may have had some long-term relationships, but these are always tumultuous. They often have several short-term marriages behind them, which have quickly ended in divorce because their sociopath tendencies often accelerate after they have married and have someone they feel they can control, but can't.

The sociopath can also be very promiscuous, since they have no remorse and no personal boundaries. Therefore, it's highly likely that they will have several 'lifeboats' floating around so, once you've stood strong and let them know that you will not put up with their behavior, they will already have found their next, vulnerable victim, long before you've slammed the door shut (although they've probably got your head slammed in the door as it's closing!).

Sociopaths are found among those who have killed animals and people without remorse (your typical serial killer); however, it may not always be that extreme.

This person will set out to destroy you - physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually and financially - if you let them. Believe me, you can't win this one, so, if you have someone who is abusing you and then denying all knowledge or failing to admit that their behavior is abusive, then it's better to admit defeat, cut your losses and run!

Apparently, it's a mental condition that can also be cured since therapists believe that the condition is caused by a traumatic childhood experience such as abuse or abandonment by a parent. However, in order for that person to be cured, they need to admit that they need help and to undergo extensive, cognitive therapy until they've got to the root of the problem.

Since the sociopath is such a skilled manipulator and liar (some have even been known to pass lie detector tests when it is pathological lying) and, because they don't need help, then it's highly unlikely that they will ever seek help and if they do, they will be able to convince a therapist that they are now fine and no longer require their services.

Problems with the mind are the same as physical problems - everything can be fixed. But, in order for this to happen, your partner has to be willing to undergo therapy and in the case of the sociopath, their only chance of any kind of progress, is if you can first of all get them to admit that their behavior is abusive.

If you're reading this and currently experiencing any type of abusive relationship, then please stand strong. We are all unique and wonderful human beings put on this earth to enjoy life, to love and help one another; to live each day like it's our very last and to be happy. No-one deserves to be treated badly. Every one of us deserves love and respect and should settle for nothing else.

Please recognize the issue in yourself that has attracted this character to you, work through this and then take steps to improve your situation. If your partner can't take accountability and take steps to change, then you have to free yourself as soon as possible.

You may be left in a situation (as is often the case) where he/she has taken all of your finances and you're scared to leave. Believe me, if you can close that door, stand up for yourself as a human being and have faith, then there are agencies out there that can help you. God/the Universe will open doors and provide for you. You and your children especially (if you have any), deserve to have a very happy, peaceful, normal life. They deserve nothing less to give them a good start in life.

Remember, it's not the person you will be missing, but the dream of the life that you thought you would be having together.

It was just that, unfortunately, a dream. Remember, that he/she will never change until they decide that they need help and that they will continue to treat people as they treat you. Whoever they have chosen next is being/will be treated as badly as you were (if not worse) because, without help, their behavior will have accelerated.

But, that dream can easily come true for you when you allow yourself to let go and set yourself free to find someone who will truly love and respect you, and who would never hurt you - in any way.

There's one more, very important, thing to remember though, when you do decide to break free - you look yourself in the mirror and tell yourself:

"I am a wonderful, beautiful person. I deserve nothing but the best in this life and will never allow anyone to treat me like that again".

We don't want to be falling into the same trap next time around now, do we?

If you're reading this and in an abusive relationship of any kind, then please seek help at: National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or 1-800-787-3224 (TDD). The hotline has information about shelters, mental heath care, legal advice and other types of assistance.

The Secrets of Sex and Relationships That Last! Keeping the Sex and Passion Alive!

The secret to keeping sex great and passion hot is concentrating on other things that will improve your connections with each other. What makes sex so passionate is the feelings you have for one another. It is so simple that many people overlook it. The most obvious of all the things that go on in any relationship is almost never realized by those inside the relationship.

There are many ways to improve your relationship and sexual performance. Surprisingly though, many of them begin outside of the bedroom. The more you concentrate on the closeness and the quality of your bond together the more barriers you can break in the bedroom.

There is not a single person in the world who does not want to be loved and appreciated. If you focus all of your attention on these things during your times together you will notice a huge change in the quality of your sex lives. Once you begin the hum-drum of daily activities it can be easy to numb yourself to romance. This is an ultimate love killer. Every time you do something unexpectedly kind and with personalized detail, the passion begins to come back. You can do this kind of thing and you should be doing this kind of thing every day.

Make the days that you bring her her favorite flowers or surprise her with something new of her favorite color outnumber the days that you do not. Try and go shopping with her and enjoy it. Men need to try to become more emotionally available. You should cuddle and not look at your watch when you do it. Men need to change and meet the woman half way, if not more so.

The same goes for women only in a slightly different perspective. Try to allow him his space when he needs it, as well as when he is quiet. This means no questions about it either.

Women need to change too. Give him that blow job that he is always crying for and do it out of the blue. Take an aggressive stand to the sex ritual and make him go down on you and tell him specifics while he is doing it! (shucks chucks he will be down there out of sight anyway. So you do not even have to keep your eyes open when you are instructing to him.)

The above is not a sexist remark of any kind unless you take it that way. For women it is often the thought that counts and for men the act that matters. That does not mean there are not reversal scenarios. Some men are extremely sensitive and certain women can be very simplistic. We are all people and it takes all kinds.

The more you do for your partner the better you will feel about your self. It feels good to do for others. Once you get into the habit it will be easy. It will make you feel good about yourself. Plus it will make you more emotionally available to each other. These are good mental health practices too.

Most people do not realize just how vital and important good mental health is for having good sex.

For instance; if you are relaxed and self confident these variables will make themselves available to the performance you give. They reflect who you are at the moment and what you are able to accomplish is so closely related to how you feel. Much like, "I think I can... I think I can... And you will! So keep positive thinking a part of your daily routine while you are serving each others happiness.

That, although to me is no real secret, is one of the most powerful things that I could share with anyone willing to listen. Things like 'knowledge is the key to power' and 'Information is key to the outcome of your performance,' really mean nothing if you do not truly believe in what you are doing. Or if you do not think you are capable of making the transformation then going through the motions will not be near as effective if you are not wholly dedicated inside and out.

One last and final word on lasting relationships and sex. If you are hung up about your past or your partners past, then the future will always be bleak. The past is dead get over it and move on. That is probably the best advice someone gave me when I was younger. My only wish is that I learned it in the womb. But hey, thats all in the past.

These are the secrets to keeping passionate and soulful relationships. The secrets of sex and relationships are in the details of our everyday lives together. One of the most important things is that you listen to each other. I mean really listen. Sex is the highest form of communication. So practice all other forms of communicating and you will naturally improve.

The Secrets of Sex and Relationships are very simple. Respond to your emotions with common sense and honesty. Sex really does matter. Science has researched and found that all happy marriages were of people who were sexually satisfied. In most any relationship, people who are truly happy are satisfied sexually.

Passive Aggressive Men - How They Damage Relationships

Have you had it with passive aggressive men? Are you sick of the mind games and the endless feeling of walking on broken glass? Do you wonder if it's even worth your time to pursue a relationship with a man who makes life difficult with his tricks and games? These men use some complicated tactics to get what they want. If you are involved with this kind of guy, you might be wondering if you can change him - and you might also be wondering if you should cut your losses and move on.

What Is Passive Aggression?

A truly passive-aggressive person suffers from a personality disorder that is marked by some very specific behaviors - or lack of behaviors. Many people have varying levels of tendency toward this disorder, and many of those do not even realize that the way they behave at times can cause trouble with their various relationships. Others are well aware of the way their mentality works, and they use it to their perceived advantage - as a weapon against people they are involved with in various areas of life.

Often, the people who have this disorder are very personable and charismatic, especially at the beginning of a relationship. You may have had fun together, felt like you knew each other instantly, and become very close very quickly. This is just one reason why it can be so frustrating to deal with a person like this once things turn sour.

How These Troubled Men Cause Relationship Damage

Here is a short list of some of the ways passive aggressive men wreak havoc in a relationship. Some of these situations may sound familiar to you.

• Lack of Responsibility and Excuses - People who display the traits associated with this disorder very often make excuses for everything. They often refuse to take responsibility for their own actions, and they have a tendency to blame things that they are responsible for on other people - they often blame their wives and girlfriends for things these women have nothing to do with.

• Learned Helplessness and Victimhood - Passive aggressive men often play the "poor me" or victim role. This goes hand in hand with a lack of personal accountability.

• Obstructionism and Interference - If you have noticed that your husband or boyfriend tends to seem to always be in the wrong place at the wrong time, or has a tendency to interfere in things he has no business interfering in, then it's likely he has some tendency toward the problem. Although passive aggressive men are capable of loving, they very often have difficulty trusting the judgment of others, and they have trouble with intimacy. This is extremely frustrating to deal with.

• Intentionally Causing Chaos - If things seem to be going a bit more smoothly than normal, you should be on the lookout for intentional chaos. This can be as minor as a dropped bag of groceries, followed by him blaming you and intentionally picking a fight - or it can be something major.

What To Do If You Are Involved With A Man Who Has These Tendencies

Mild passive-aggressiveness can be difficult to live with, while a severely disordered person can be a nightmare to deal with. Often, people who suffer from the inability to emote normally are the way they are because they were never allowed to express their true feelings as children. They developed a habit of internalizing everything, and they are often filled with repressed feelings of anger and frustration.
Sometimes this leads to emotional, verbal, or physical abuse.

A mental health practitioner can help a person with tendencies toward passive aggression to realize that they are causing damage within their relationships, and over time, can help that person to live a more normal life. If your loved one is willing to accept help then seek the assistance he needs. If not, reevaluate your relationship. You may be happier elsewhere.

Want to learn more? Go to: 77 Secrets of Love and learn how to make him fall in love with you hopelessly.

Get Your FREE Report When You Visit Today:* Love Triggers Revealed *

This article is contributed by Tina Jones from the Unforgettable Woman Publishing Team. She works together with founder Alexandra Fox and writes dating/relationship articles for women. You can find more about Unforgettable Woman Publishing by visiting their website.

Creating Positive Relationships

I am sure I can offer over ten thousand pages of advice about relationships, but I won't. The world is filled with techniques, books, CDs and seminars designed to help people live together harmoniously. Yet, since the beginning of time, one of the largest problems we face on this planet is the inability to get along with one another. Poor relationships create war, divorce, family separation, runaways, defiance, fear and hostility.

One of my favorite movies is, "Oh God" starring George Burns and John Denver. If you did not see this movie I hope you will. The movie is a classic and full of advice for positive living. One great scene was when God (played by George Burns) appeared to Jerry Landers (played by John Denver) while he was taking a shower. God's request to Jerry, "Tell the world I'm still here. Spread the word that I still care and that the world can work." Jerry is a little distressed by God's request and he quickly challenges God. "The world isn't working. It's not working at all. We need help down here." At that point, God brilliantly replies, "That's why I gave you each other."

I've always believed that God cares for people through people. We need each other for our lives and our world to work. Instead of fighting over the last barrel of oil, we need to change our thinking and understand that our very survival depends on sharing it with each other.

Did you ever walk through the mall and notice someone wearing the same outfit you were? This has happened to me often. Two complete strangers for a brief moment in time stop and smile at each other. Sometimes we may even comment, "nice outfit," or "good taste in clothes," or "you look great." We laugh, and move on. Did you ever drive past someone who had the same car as you? Sometimes when this happens, people nod or beep the horn to acknowledge the coincidence. It's fun to see that someone has the same taste as you or that two strangers have something in common.

How about things we have in common globally? Wouldn't life be great if we could walk up to a total stranger and excitedly say, "Wow, you're on Earth, too? Wow, isn't this great? What a coincidence! We'll have to get together some day and be best friends." This has been the dream of many great leaders. I believe it is a possibility. The following are the five basic elements required to create positive healthy relationships.

1) Open, Honest Communication - before we married, my wife Kathy and I spoke with many couples who were enjoying blissful lives together. We both believe in "modeling" successful people in order to create similar success. Every couple told us the secret to a successful marriage was open, honest communication. Communication is an art form. Whether you are relating to a mate, child, parent, brother, sister or neighbor, your communication skills are a valuable asset. I remember a story about a lady supposedly filing for divorce. The judge began to question her about the decision she had made, so that he could properly hear the case.

Judge: On what grounds do you want to appeal to your husband?

Wife: On the court grounds of course!

Judge: No, you misunderstood the question. What I mean is do you have any grounds?

Wife: Yes. My husband and I own two acres.

Judge: What I mean is, do you have a grudge?

Wife: Yes. We have a two-car garage.

Judge: No! No! No! What I mean is, does he beat you up?

Wife: No. I'm always awake before he is.

Judge: What I mean is was he unfaithful?

Wife: My husband doesn't belong to a church.

Judge: What I'm trying to find out is why you want to divorce your husband?

Wife: I don't want to divorce my husband, he wants to divorce me. He says we have a communication problem.

Although the above story is humorous, it unfortunately happens all too often. The way we communicate with each other will determine the quality of the relationship. Learn to speak to people, not at them. Speak to people in the way they like to be spoken to. When speaking with others look directly into their eyes. This is a sign that you can be trusted and it also demonstrates your high self-image. Before you speak to anyone ask yourself, "How can I say this with sincerity or with tenderness, or how can I make my point understood without creating any hard feelings?" These questions will help you to effectively touch the heart of your listener and a high quality relationship will be inevitable.

Another vital part of communication is to be a good listener. You can win more friends with your ears than with your mouth. When you give your undivided attention to another, he or she will respect you. By listening to others they know that you care and this mindset will create instant friendships. Opportunities are sometimes missed because we do not listen. Nature reminds us that our ears are designed to stay open and our mouth designed to stay closed.

2) Change Your Attitude Towards Others - the truth is that we all have different values. We must never negate someone because their value's are different from ours. Negative attitudes make it impossible to get along with ourselves and with others. This is the basic law of cause and effect! What we give out, we get back. Psychologists tell us that we always see in others what we recognize in ourselves. The world and other people are constantly reflecting back to us - all that we think about it. At the core of your being, begin to recognize the divinity in others and they will soon recognize the divinity in you. Treat all of whom you meet with respect and dignity. We need to constantly ask ourselves the following question about every thought, emotion or feeling we have, "Does this type of thinking create unity or separation?" If the answer is separation, change the thought to enhance the relationship.

Here is a popular technique that I know will help you if you are challenged by other people. The moment you sense a relationship may be threatened, or that someone is about to push your buttons, immediately ask yourself, "What would someone like Gandhi or Mother Teresa do in this situation?" After that, follow your heart.

3) Practice Forgiveness - one of the greatest acts we can perform is the act of forgiveness. This is a master key for high quality relationships. We must remember we make mistakes because we're human. You've heard the expression, "To err is human, to forgive is divine." Every time you extend forgiveness to another person you are expressing your divinity. To express this divinity, it is important that you forgive and let go on an inner level, too. To merely utter the words, "I forgive you" yet still harbor inner resentment is like burying the hatchet but leaving the handle exposed.

I recently worked with a gentleman in New York who was having a challenging relationship with his sister. Apparently, she expressed some unkind words to a lady he was dating. Upon hearing her words, the lady broke off with him and vowed to never speak with him again. Months after the break up, he verbally forgave his sister, but his heart was still angry. He was suffering with all types of psychosomatic health problems which I attributed to his hardened heart. I taught him a great psychological technique that I hope you may find beneficial. I told him to enter a meditative level and mentally speak to his sister. He was to mentally express all of his anger and mentally tell her off. After this, when he was ready, he was to mentally forgive her. He mentally repeated the affirmation, "I now let go of all the negative feelings attached to this event and the negative feelings now let go of me." He explained to me that he felt a moment of peace and serenity after this process as if a big weight lifted from his body. He immediately called his sister and forgave her again, but, this time he meant it. Shortly after this his health problems vanished and he met another lady.

Remember physiologically, when you are angry with someone you create angry, toxic body chemistry within yourself. Similarly, when you curse someone, you're actually cursing yourself and when you hate someone, you first taste the poison.

The power of forgiveness helps us to heal ourselves, allowing us to become whole. It is very difficult when someone hurts us and that is why it is sometimes difficult to forgive. Yet, once we overcome this difficulty, forgiveness strengthens the relationship making us better people. Mark Twain once gave a beautiful definition of forgiveness: "Forgiveness is the fragrance a violet leaves on the heel of the person who stepped on it." That may be the most godly definition of forgiveness I have ever heard.

4) Discover Each Other's Needs - this is a basic rule of thumb for any type of relationship. If you want a high quality relationship, find out the other person's needs and fulfill them. To terminate a relationship the opposite is true - discover the other person's needs and keep those needs unfulfilled. If you want a good relationship with your boss, meet his or her needs by producing high quality work. If you desire a good relationship with your mate or other family members, properly meet their needs with love in your heart. The most fulfilling relationships are the ones where you go to give, not where you go to take.

When you have the willingness to place another's need over your own, you are demonstrating the highest expression of selflessness and love. The more love you give the more love you will receive. When you hold sand in your hand and tightly clench your fist, all of the sand will escape from your hand. However, when you extend your hand and hold it wide open, the pile of sand will sit on your hand and you will barely lose any of it. Therefore, hold your hand out and contribute all that you can toward your relationships. As you put this rule into practice, you will soon discover that giving is receiving.

5) Do Unto Others - this is known as "The Golden Rule." Treat others exactly the way you would like them to treat you. If everyone followed this rule, our planet would become an instant paradise. We would no longer need laws, prisons or a judicial system because we would live together in harmony and in peace. This principle is taught in most of the world's major religions and is an absolute standard for harmonious relationships with others. If you want to have friends, then be a friend. If you want to be loved, then love others. The best way to have your needs met is to lovingly, without strings, meet the needs of others. If you do not want to be judged, never judge another. And if you want to be forgiven, forgive others. This is known as the "Law of Indirect Effort." Practice being the person with whom you would like to have positive relationships. This is the bridge that will help you cross over to relationship fulfillment.

I encourage you to practice and saturate your mind with these five relationship rules. Let these guidelines become an integral part of your lifestyle since these five elements create a powerful foundation for rock-solid relationships.

I wish you luck & success!

John Eric Jacobsen was born to teach and destined to be a writer & motivator. In 1985 John founded "Jacobsen Business Programs, Inc." (JacobsenPrograms.com [http://JacobsenPrograms.com]), a corporate seminar company helping people to succeed personally and professionally.

John's experience is what sets him apart. With a diverse background in business, sales, communications, theatrical arts, dance and acting; John has the unique ability to not only be a great teacher, but also an amazing entertainer who can keep your attention. He has trained and worked with over a half a million people and has performed or taught all over America on stage and on TV.

John has also authored the national seller, "Conversations on Customer Service & Sales." This is an amazing work designed to help businesses improve their sales and enhance consumer relations. John is proud to have the great Brian Tracy as a co-author.

Toxic Relationships - Dangers of Leaving 3 - Toxic People

Do you believe you are in a relationship that is toxic to your well being? Have you been trying to find a way to get out of a potentially dangerous relationship? Leaving a toxic partner can be dangerous if you are not taking the right precaution, so before you decide on an escape plan take these tips into consideration. They can potentially save your life depending on which type of toxin you are dealing with.

Types of Toxic People

1. Emotional Toxin:

This person is not physical, but he will play games to get you back after you've made it perfectly clear you are no longer interested in a relationship with him. He will keep calling you to come pick up some of your stuff, or to let him pick up their stuff from your place. These are all desperate attempts of getting you alone to try, and manipulate you into getting back with him.

When I said before that he will use any means necessary to get you back, I meant it. You will see him cry, sob, scream, and any of emotionally pathetic display he can come up with. This is only an excuse to get you alone, and manipulate you into feeling bad for leaving him, resulting in reconciliation. In this case you are going to need to get a restraining order to protect you from any harassment that will follow your breakup.

2. Physical Toxin:

When breaking up with this toxic partner, he threaten to beat you, or destroy your possessions, until you cave into staying with him. He can vandalize your home, or your car. I once heard of a time where my friend's boyfriend throw her things out of the car window while driving down the street, in hopes it would make my friend see it his way.

Any physical force will be used in this situation for him to convince you that it's a better idea for you to stay with him. Don't fall for it! Get legal help! Obtain a restraining order or whatever else is possible to get for your own safety.

3. Mentally Ill Toxin:

This toxic person will do all of what the other toxins do, and then some. He will threaten you with your life, threaten your family, your friends, or your new lover. He can do creepy and dirty things in attempts to get you to cave in to them, like taking provocative photos of you and your family in secret, then using them to blackmailing you into going out with him again. He'll also fake illnesses, or even a near death experience to connect with you emotionally. Mentally ill toxins will stalk you, show up at random times of the night, call you at home, and at work every 5 minutes.

This toxin is extremely hazardous to your health and well being. Be aware of your surroundings and the surroundings of your children and family. Get legal and lawful help immediately!

If you need to solve a relationship problem, or just want to get relationship advice and tips, be sure to sign up for the free e-newsletter at http://www.abetterwaytolove.com.

Marriage Relationships

Marriage is regarded as a spiritual as well as an intimate bond between two people. In other words, it is a relationship between two people with two separate sets of views and feelings. In contrast to unmarried people who may be cohabiting, divorced, or single, married people enjoy many benefits in the form of higher degree of happiness, better physical and mental health, and improved financial position. But, a marriage relationship becomes fruitful only when the husband and wife face all challenges together, whether it is personal challenges, problems regarding raising children, dealing with family members, financial problems, or other daily pressures of life.

Good marriage relationships are generally marked by honesty. They are based on a foundation of agreement, made up of commitment, honor, love, moral ethics and sacrifice. When a couple steps into marriage, it is important to understand that both of them owe obligations of mutual understanding, care and fidelity to each other. Requisites for a healthy marriage life also include matching up of couple's ages, characters, lifestyles and views.

In order to build lasting marriage relationships, it is important to observe effective communication, mutual trust, ability to overcome problems together, and giving each other the attention and respect that both deserve. It is advisable to spend some time with your spouse, either by doing exercise or taking leisurely walks together. It is also equally important to have sexual intimacy, as it can deepen marriage relationships. Above all, an ideal couple must have the ability to compromise on issues such as career, finance and children. Practices including date nights help to sustain an intimate bond between the two.

To ensure healthy maintenance of marriage relationships, counseling programs or pre-marriage courses become relevant. At present, a lot of counseling firms provide special courses and programs for marriage help, love advice, relationship advice, relationship challenges, relationship counseling, relationship forums, relationship help, relationship problems and relationship skills. With the introduction of the Internet, online counseling has also become popular.

Relationships provides detailed information on Relationships, Online Relationships, Relationship Advice, Relationship Quiz and more. Relationships is affiliated with Interracial Couples.

The 3 R's in Relationships That Can Help You Survive and Thrive

If there's one complaint that we hear over and over about the challenges of relationships, it's this...

"How do you find the time and energy to create and keep great relationships?"

This is such a great question especially since we all seem to be continually busy and stressed much of the time.

This is especially true during the holidays when there are so many activities to attend, gifts to buy and preparations to make. We just seem to be on the go from morning until night--and if we don't interrupt the pattern, it can take its toll on our bodies, our spirits, our emotions and our relationships. So what's the answer?

The answer comes from a surprising source.

Athletes.

Not just athletes-- but world class athletes who seem to always win over and over. They have discovered that renewal drives performance.

Whether they realize it or not the best of the best athletes figure out ways to take mini-rest and renewal breaks--even during matches or games--that will help them to be at their best when it really counts.

Perhaps you've seen the tennis pro switching his/her racquet from hand to hand after a point in an important tennis match on TV. Until it was pointed out to us that this switching allowed the arms of his or her dominant hand and arm to relax, we didn't realize what was going on.

We thought it was just "nervous tension" and we didn't realize that this wasn't just nervous tension but actually a recovery and renewal break that would allow the pro to play at his/her optimum level throughout the match. At this point, you're probably wondering what this has to do with your relationships.

It's simple. If you don't allow yourself to take renewal breaks throughout your day or week, no matter how busy you are, you cannot be who you truly are with those you love--let alone those you don't.

That's why the 3 R's (rest, relaxation and renewal) are so important to you, especially as you try to build and maintain great relationships.

It's true that we all need some amount of stress to expand and grow but continual stress with no rest, renewal and relaxation time is harmful. When we are under continual stress, we say and do things unconsciously from habit and past experiences and do not consciously choose how we are going to be in our relationships and lives.

When you consciously make choices about your words and actions and are not muddled by stress, you are able to speak and act from a place inside you that is true. This truth creates intimacy, connection and love with the important people in your life.

Here are a few tips to encourage you to take rest, recovery and renewal time, no matter what's going on in your life...

1. Breathe deeply

When we get stressed, we forget to breathe. A mini-renewal break can simply be taking a deep breath in and exhaling all of it, emptying your lungs. Write a note to yourself and put it in your car to remind you to take a deep breath as you sit in traffic or deal with the kids who are arguing in the back seat.

2. Take a 15 minute walk outside

We walk around our neighborhood and we've found that even 15 minutes can make a difference in how we feel.

3. Let it go

When something happens that is upsetting to you, don't hold onto it and mull it over. Reliving the painful memory will only keep you from living your life to its fullest and will separate you from the people around you.

Let it go as soon as you have said what you needed to say. If agreements need to be created around the issue, then suggest that the two of you talk about how to "do it differently" the next time.

"Worry" also falls in this category. Don't waste your energy and time "worrying" about someone or something. It only creates more stress and agitation inside you.

Spend your "thought" time on what makes you happy and your heart sing. If you focus on loving yourself and others, instead of worrying about them or holding onto grudges, we think you'll see a big difference in your relationships.

Renewal, rest and recovery may seem to be the last thing that you think you have time for but we'd urge you to re-think that belief. These 3 r's are not only absolutely necessary for the health and happiness of your physical body and mental outlook but are also essential to the health and continual growth of your relationships.

Susie and Otto Collins are Relationship Coaches and authors who help people create lives that are filled with more passion, love and connection. For more tips on creating deeper passion, love and connection in your love relationship, sign up for their free mini-course at Red Hot Love Relationships.com

Bipolar Relationships Taking Steps To Make Life More Pleasant

If you or your Significant Other has bipolar disorder, you probably already know that life can be difficult, miserable, and chaotic. You may be interested to know that it does not have to be that way -- that both you and your partner can take certain steps which will make your lives much more livable and even pleasant. While the focus of bipolar relationships can be seen in terms of adult-aged partners, these facts also hold true in other types of relationships, such as friends, siblings, and co-workers.

Do Not Allow The Disease To Take Center Stage

The main problem in a relationship with a person who has bipolar disorder-- or, for that matter, any type of serious mental condition -- is that the illness can "take center-stage." What this means is that the condition becomes a focal point, and everything else revolves around it, having a very negative effect on everything and everyone else in the person's life. It is often quite difficult for either person to see that this is happening, much less know what to do about it.

In bipolar relationships, the non-afflicted partner is often in either of two positions. Either he or she is in the position of "enabling" the person who is ill, or he or she is in the position of attempting to ignore the illness altogether. Both of these relating methods are destructive to the ill person, the non-ill person, the relationship, and their lives. Fortunately, there are better ways of coping.

Taking Responsibility

The first and most important step in managing a bipolar relationship is to place the responsibility on the person who has it. This does not mean becoming cold and heartless; what it does mean is refusing to allow the illness to run your life. You must acknowledge that this serious condition does exist, and you must also acknowledge that it has to be dealt with.

One part of this, obviously, is for the bipolar person to be responsible for such things as taking his or her medication on a regular basis, keeping scheduled appointments with the mental health professional who is in charge of his or her treatment, and to follow the doctor's advice.

Setting Boundaries

However, successful interactions in a bipolar relationship does not end there; it is also necessary to be clear as to what is and is not appropriate behavior. If you do not set this kind of limits and boundaries, you will very likely be in the position of tolerating inappropriate behavior, and the excuses that go along with it.

If the person is receiving proper treatment, his "extremes" as well as everyday irritability should be under some degree of control from medication maintenance; he also needs to know that he is responsible for his behavior, and not be allowed to use "What do you expect, I'm bipolar!" as a convenient excuse.

Bipolar relationships can be difficult for everyone concerned; but this condition does not need to be a reason for constant friction, disruption, or ongoing chaos. The mental health professional can only do so much; the patient himself must be responsible for his own behavior.

Flor Serquina is a successful Webmaster and publisher of Bipolar-Disorder-Today.com. She provides more resources on topics such as bipolar relationships [http://www.bipolar-disorder-today.com/bipolar-relationships.html], bipolar medications [http://www.bipolar-disorder-today.com/bipolar-medications.html] and bipolar disorder test [http://www.bipolar-disorder-today.com/bipolar-disorder-test.html] that you can research on her website even while lounging in your living room.

Toxic Relationships - 5 Tips For Recovery From a Toxic Relationship

Toxic relationships may be considered so for a multitude of reasons. There may be emotional or other types of abuse, addictions, or infidelity that has caused so much damage that the relationship is toxic. If you have managed to make your way out of such a situation, you have accomplished a difficult feat. It is very important that you take good care of yourself in the aftermath of the breakup. If you find that your emotional state is debilitating you and becoming overwhelming, see a doctor or mental health professional for guidance. Otherwise, here are 5 tips to help you recover from being in a toxic relationship:

1. Take a look at what you're eating. It may seem basic, but starting with taking care of your body is important, as the mind and body are connected. Try to eat fresh vegetables and fruits, proteins, and whole grains, avoiding sugars and highly processed foods whenever possible. If you are having trouble eating enough, try carrying around healthy snack foods and eat throughout the day. If you tend to eat too much for comfort, limit your eating to times when you aren't distracted, i.e. watching TV. Also, you can set a time at night past which you won't eat anymore.

2. Use supplements if needed. A good multivitamin is a good place to start, along with a calcium supplement if you don't eat a lot of calcium rich food. Fish oil is a great supplement that has many benefits, including support of a healthy brain. 5 HTP (hydroxytryptophan) is a natural antidepressant, a precursor to serotonin, a brain neurotransmitter that helps regulate mood. L-Theanine can be a helpful anti-anxiety supplement. It is a good idea to consult with your health practitioner about supplements you wish to try.

3. Start a doctor approved plan for getting exercise. Cardiovascular exercise is excellent for elevating mood, due to the feel good endorphins that are released when your heart rate is elevated over a period of time. Optimally, you will work up to 45 minutes of exercise 5 days per week. Any exercise, however, is better than none.

4. Talk things out with a professional and with the rest of your support network. A counselor who is trained and unbiased toward your situation can be a great resource for feedback and perspective. Your friends and family can help support you emotionally, as well as fill your social schedule.

5. Do small things for yourself each day. You can create a list of small things or activities that you enjoy. Pick one to do each day, and cross it off your list. Make a new one once that is completed.

Are you interested in addressing your life challenges from a holistic standpoint, assessing the physical, emotional, and relationship components?

For a free copy of my ebook, "Natural Methods To Fight Depression", click here: http://www.stoptoxicrelationships.com/gifts-naturalmethodstofightdepression.html

Shannon Cook is a personal coach and resource guide who has written a number of informative articles and ebooks on the topic of toxic relationships and holistic personal growth, including physical, emotional and relationship health.

Starting Over After a Toxic Relationships - 3 Tips For a Positive New Start

If you have had the unfortunate experience of being involved in a toxic relationship, you know that it can be difficult to leave it. Often, this is because your self esteem has been chipped away by the hurtful and destructive acts of someone who is supposed to love you and have your best interests at heart. Fortunately, you have resources at your disposal to help you restart and create a far happier life, and better future relationships. Here are 3 tips for a positive new start after leaving a toxic relationship:

1. Make yourself a priority. Attend to your physical well being. Eat healthy foods, choosing organic and unprocessed choices whenever possible. Take vitamins and supplements as needed. Many people can benefit from a food based multivitamin and a fish oil supplement. A naturopath can create a supplement plan specifically tailored to your health needs. Get regular exercise according to your doctor's guidelines. These actions not only improve your overall health, but they send the message to yourself that you are worth the time and effort.

2. Gather your support network around you and spend time with those who love, affirm, and treat you with respect and care. Friends and family can be a great emotional support, as well as filling your social calendar. Remember that your toxic partner programmed you into believing negative things about you. Spending time with positive and living people can help counteract this effect. Don't hesitate to engage support professionals as well. A counselor can be very helpful if you are sorting out overwhelming emotions and dealing with past issues. When you are ready to achieve your vision for your life and attain goals, working with a life coach is a huge benefit.

3. Avoid contact with your toxic ex partner. Especially in the beginning when you are vulnerable, don't engage with your ex. You need time to heal and gain perspective on the situation. If you must have contact due to children, etc, stick strictly to the topic at hand and disengage if your partner tries to take the conversation off course into something more personal or hurtful.

Are you interested in addressing your life challenges from a holistic standpoint, assessing the physical, emotional, and relationship components?

For a free copy of my ebook, "Natural Methods To Fight Depression", click here: http://www.stoptoxicrelationships.com/gifts-naturalmethodstofightdepression.html

Shannon Cook is a personal coach and resource guide who has written a number of informative articles and ebooks on the topic of toxic relationships and holistic personal growth, including physical, emotional and relationship health.

Depression and Relationships

Depression is a toxic soup of negative emotions that extends for a longer than expected period of time. Many people who struggle with depression cannot feel emotions such as joy, pleasure, or grief. They have become numb and colorless. Depression is much like a vampire sucking the life blood dry until only a shell of the once enthusiastic vibrant person exists. In this informational article titled "Depression and Relationships" we will explore the many faces of depression in relationships.

 

Relationships are a delicate balance between feelings and ego. These intricate personal interactions are totally reliant on how you relate to others. The most common characteristics of depression in relationships are withdrawal and avoidance. Other common characteristics are irritability and overly critical behavior.

 

Let's see how this might look in the Smith household.

 

Joe Smith has always been a loving family man but recently his emotions have started to get the best of him due to financial difficulties. Just the other day mild mannered Joe arrived home from work only to find his wife vacuuming rather than fixing dinner. Joe explodes, ranting and raving about dinner, noise, and getting a new wife that knows her place. Joe's wife Cindy is stunned. She has never heard her husband talk this way and decides to try to avoid a confrontation by simply apologizing. She tells Joe that she lost tract of time and it won't happen again. Joe simply ignores her apology and storms out of the house leaving her in tears. End

 

Most people reading the story above think that situations like the one above only happen to other people. Perhaps you know someone who has been acting out of character lately. So let's explore a number of ways depression affects relationships and see whether any of the bullet points might remind you of someone you know.

 

* Recently, I just can't seem to be as compassionate as normal

* Is it my imagination or are my friends and family avoiding me

* I seem to be becoming more reclusive even though it's really not in my nature

* I haven't been able to live up to the expectations of others

* My desire for intimacy is almost nonexistent

* There is no one that cares or understands me

* I have never felt more alone

* I am looking old and tired

* My temper is getting worse and my fuse is getting shorter

* There just isn't anyone to talk to about my problems

 

Depressed people normally go one of two ways, either they withdraw or become irritable and aggressive. Which ever way they go it makes depression and relationships a difficult matter to handle, especially for the people closest to them. If you know someone whose personality has changed for the worst and you suspect that depression might be the primary driver of their behavior then convincing them to get help would be the right thing to do.

 

Additionally, many people with mild to moderate depression are looking for affordable answers that don't involve extended therapy sessions or expensive prescription drugs. For these individuals natural depression remedies could are options worth considering. Many of the more popular remedies for depression are herbal blends which are very safe and have shown to be effective in both promoting and maintaining emotional and mental health.

R.D. Hawkins is an enthusiastic advocate of alternative natural health products and supplements with over 10 years experience. To learn more about homeopathic natural health visit Purchase Remedies.com

Powerful and Successful Relationships - Enhance Your Relationships Like an Ambassador of Compassion

Our relationships improve when we make a genuine effort to be more compassionate toward others, and we end up feeling like a million bucks.

Maybe we're often too busy or self-absorbed to focus our attention on the misfortune or needs of others. As a result, our relationships are not what they could be. Yet, developing a more compassionate approach to people will make your relationships soar!

What's The Big Deal About Compassion?

Compassion may be defined as concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others. We are able to develop compassion when we develop an awareness of the unfortunate circumstances people are in or the problems they may be encountering.

When we avoid judging or criticizing others and seek to understand them, it is possible to feel compassion more fully. What a way to improve our mental health!

It is a good feeling to withhold judgement and to take the time necessary to see another's life more clearly. Then we can understand their circumstances and how we can help them . . .

And it is a good feeling to connect with people in a non-judgmental and compassionate way.

In fact, compassion is an effective anti-depressant!

How Compassion Helped Me

My experiment with compassion began as a New Year's Resolution a few years ago. I decided to become more attentive to the plight of people in my life (and community) and to be more of a help to them. I didn't want to save anyone, or to be a hero, just to more completely understand . . . and to offer people the gift of my acceptance, empathy and concern.

As the year went by, not only was I able to touch more lives in a positive, caring way, but all my relationships benefited from my new way of seeing and interacting with people.

I spent less time telling people what they did wrong or what they should do, and more time finding the value in their lives and giving my heartfelt positive regard.

I was quicker to communicate my concern. I began to go out of my way to let them know I cared. I said what was in my heart without fear of their response.

Surprisingly, I found myself giving a more helpful and beneficial energy to all my relationships . . . my relationships began to feel different . . . they grew stronger and more positive.

As a side benefit, my life assumed a greater sense of meaning and purpose. And I felt better about myself, to say the least. Giving more compassionately is a wonderful self-help technique.

How To Become More Compassionate

1. Change your thinking habits. As soon as you catch yourself rushing to criticize or condemn, step back and suspend judgement. Analyze the situation more deeply.

2. Take time to understand, rather than giving in to a knee-jerk-reaction. Just try and see without allowing emotion to cloud logic.

3. Adopt a different approach to people you tend to avoid, dismiss or dislike. They're people too. Give them a chance. Actively look for the good in them, and allow yourself to find their hidden beauty.

4. Ask yourself what person(s) in your life would benefit from your complete and unbiased understanding or sympathetic attention. And consider how you might communicate it to them. Give more compassion and give it straight-up.

5. Try to find opportunities to make a difference in someone's life, no matter how small.

6. Be creative in supporting others more and helping them to overcome their difficult problems or circumstances. Have fun thinking of ways to help. Be more childlike in trusting your imagination for inspiration.

7. Walk a mile in others' shoes. This old adage really works. If you take the time to stop and put on someone else's shoes, and to walk around in their life, you will feel what they feel. Compassion will follow.

8. Ask your Higher Power to help you to become less egocentric and more concerned about the lives of others.

9. When others judge harshly and withdraw their support of someone, give your understanding and acceptance.

10. In prayer or meditation, open yourself to a more compassionate way of interacting with people.

Real Life Suggestions

Do you know an elderly person who recently lost a mate? What can you do to bring a smile to his/her face? Bake cookies? Give a surprise birthday party? Make a pot of coffee and spend some time together?

Do you know a family whose house burned down? Do something to help. Call them and offer your support. Share some of your extra possessions with them. Most of us have too many.

Is someone in your apartment building ill? Why not offer to go to the pharmacy for them or take them a homemade meal?

Compassion brings new power to networking. If you know a colleague who is down and out, offer your compassion. Your good deed will come back to you in many ways.

Is someone in your life miserable because of the poor choices he/she keeps making? Try a compassionate approach. Instead of lecturing or saying "I told you so," offer your kindness and sympathy.

Remember: You are far more likely to help someone if you offer an expression of compassion instead of your critical remarks and complaints.

They will feel more empowered and be more likely to return your good will. Live with and act on your compassion, and you'll make your community, and the world, a better place.

Become an ambassador of compassion, and your relationships will soar!

Richard Hamon is a professional therapist and coach with over 25 years of experience. His business, Relationships For Success Coaching, helps people to improve their relationships and enjoy success in all areas of their lives.

Richard has written a unique eBook, The Ultimate Relationship Solution: How Secrets Discovered From A Near Death Experience Can Help You Ignite Passion and Realize Success in All Your Relationships. The eBook tells about an actual Near Death Experience the author had in 2003, which transformed his life and led to a series of insights, revelations and secrets about relationships.

You can find Richard's eBook, The Ultimate Relationship Solution at: http://ultimate-relationship-solution.com/

13 Toxic Relationships Signs - Why These Kinds of Relationships Are Bad For One's Overall Health

The majority of relationships are based on love and commitment, where couples actually want to be together and really do love one another. These are the kinds of relationships that everyone desires to have, men and women both. However, there are many other couples that are together, not because of love, but because of fear or what they believe is love. These are called toxic relationships and any couple who has a relationship like this need to be away from each other. Why are toxic relationships so bad for each person in the relationship?

Why Toxic Relationships Are Bad For People

When a relationship is considered toxic, it's a major threat to a person's overall emotional and spiritual health. It can make a person feel completely and utterly depressed and worthless. They may feel so bad about themselves that they'll stop doing the things they used to do; afraid if they do something, they will anger or upset their significant other. The worst-case scenario for a person in a toxic relationship is suicide; this means they felt they had no other alternative to get out of this kind of relationship.

Signs To Watch Out For In A Toxic Relationship

Since toxic relationships are so bad, what can you do to ensure that you stay out of one? What signs should you be looking for? Are there any signs that will tell you a relationship is toxic? While there is no easy way to identify the chances of a toxic relationship before you get into one, you do have at least 13 signs to know if you are in one currently. What are they?

- First, your significant other puts you down either in public or private.

- Second, your significant other doesn't allow you to hang out with friends or family.

- Third, your significant other is calling you non-stop to see what you are doing or who you are with; this happens even when you are working.

- Fourth, your significant other doesn't value any of your opinions even if the reasoning for them are important.

- Fifth, you have changed who you are just to please your significant other.

- Sixth, your significant other puts down for how you look or act, all in the goal to make you feel unattractive and unintelligent.

- Seventh, your significant other is overly jealous and always accuses you of cheating on him/her.

- Eighth, your significant other has a Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde personality; one minute he/she is very loving and sweet, the next minute they are overly mean and violent.

- Ninth, your significant other has total control over your life and money, leaving you entirely dependent on him/her.

- Tenth, your significant other will only go where he/she desires to go and doesn't care to go where you would like to.

- Eleventh, your significant other claims he/she loves you but doesn't act like it.

- Twelfth, your significant other always makes you feel afraid for your life.

- Thirteenth, you can't remember a time you felt happy when you were with your significant other.

Get Out Of Toxic Relationships By Seeking Help

It's important to remember that no matter how much you love a person, toxic relationships are bad for all involved. It's highly unlikely you will know about your significant other's dark side beforehand; however, once you know about them, you need to get out of the relationship right away. This is when you need to speak with someone you trust such as a family member, church member, social worker, etc.; anyone you believe can help you escape the relationship.

Do whatever you can to get out of those toxic relationships and don't ever think you can change a person after you left them because chances are they won't change. For that reason, you should never, ever, try to get your ex back. However, if you and your partner are willing to make a change, then consider trying to work it out. Just bear in mind that many times people change for a short while only to go back to the way they were before, which means you're right back in the same position you once were.

If you are currently in a toxic relationship, first realize that you do have choices and have the power to change your situation by getting out of the relationship. If you still want to get your ex back, you should know the risks of taking such an action if you are going at it alone. However if both of you are willing to make changes and are willing to put in the hard work to make it work, then you can rebuild a healthy relationship. The magic of making up [http://towinbackex.com/magic-of-making-up-review/] is a powerful ebook by TW Jackson that has helped tens of thousands of people spanning 77 countries to rebuild their relationship. Please visit [http://towinbackex.com/magic-of-making-up-review/] before you make your next move. You will learn some conventional and some very unconventional advice and techniques in the book including how to get relief from the pain and anxiety of a break-up.

Marriage Relationships - 7 Warning Signs That You Have Let Your Marriage Go

Do you know how some people "let themselves go"? Similarly, sometimes couples let their marriages go also. Just like neglecting your body can affect your physical health, neglecting your relationship can affect the health of your marriage. Read on to discover seven warning signs that you have let your marriage go.

What does it mean when people "let themselves go"? Generally, it means that they have quit investing their time and energy on their bodies. They may have gained weight because they are not exercising or eating the proper foods. Maintaining their looks is no longer a priority. Perhaps they have quit paying attention to their wardrobe, hair, or make-up. Over time, this can take a toll on their appearance and perhaps on their health.

The same thing can happen to marriages. Couples quit investing themselves in their relationships. They get too busy or they are too tired to spend time together. Also, they quit making each other feel special. Our bodies and our marriages take work to maintain in top condition. A lot of times, people do not even realize that they have neglected their marriages until they have drifted apart.

Here are five warning signs that you have started to let your marriage go:

1. You no longer do things together.

Spending time together keeps you in touch with each other. We all change over time and if you are not spending time together you will end up as two strangers living separate lives while living in the same house.

2. You no longer have common interests and goals.

If you quit doing things with each other, you will lose interest in each other. Over time you will not longer have anything in common.

3. You do not talk to each other any more.

Spending quality time talking keeps your relationship cemented together. It is the only way that you will keep up with your spouse's current goals, desires, and dreams.

4. You do not do special things for each other any more.

Doing those special little things for each other is one way to express your appreciation and love for your mate. It helps you and your spouse feel special about yourselves and your relationship.

5. You have quit touching outside of sex.

Nonsexual touching helps you to connect emotionally and also sets the stage for connecting physically. If you have quit touching outside of sex, then you probably have started to let your marriage go.

6. You are more irritable with each other.

Even though irritability can stem from fatigue and stress, it also can be from unresolved issues. Sometimes it is easier to ignore problems than to deal with them. Those problems can eventually fester and damage the foundation of your marriage.

7. You no longer look forward to your future together.

Neglecting your relationship will eventually leave your feeling cold about your marriage and your future together.

Even if you have let your marriage go, there are still things that you can do to rekindle your relationship. If you are ready to know how to fall back in love or stay in love with your spouse, then I invite you to get our special report, "Keeping That Loving Feeling: 7 Secrets Every Couple Should Know" at [http://www.BuildingYourDreamMarriage.com/LovingFeeling.html].

For more great tips and tools for building your dream marriage, visit our website at [http://www.BuildingYourDreamMarriage.com]. At our website, you can sign up for our free e-course, "5 Common Barriers to Building Your Dream Marriage".

Good luck with building your dream marriage- Laurel Barnet

Sacre Love - Be in Your Element in Love - an Ayurvedic Perspective of Relationships that Last

I will summarise these body types here for you

o Earth People - Stocky

o Water People - Round and fleshy

o Fire people - Medium muscular

o Air People - Short thin

o Ether - Tall thin

Ether / Ether

Tranquillity meets wisdom. Life is filled with unlimited ideas, beautiful thoughts, deep and wise conversations, and peaceful and fulfilling discussions. Not bothered about right and wrong. They seek knowledge from each other.

In this relationship two people will reach for the skies and no amount of reality will thwart them. It's a dream come true. High above the clouds two Ether Predominant people will dream and fantasise about the world as it should be or even could be. Space, space, and more space is needed for you both to thrive. They are into touch and feel and sensual delights. Long courtship, foreplay and plenty of after sex conversations means these two need to set the alarm to get out of bed in the morning.

Alarm Bells: It is easy to be dwarfed by Ether, so Etheric, so out there, so sure of themselves that sometimes Ether on Ether means one of the two of you might gravitate to their second element in order to support the other." Warning bells ring here. The unhappiest people have changed their natural constitutional behaviour in order to make another person happy. Hold yourself equal to your partner.

Ether / Air

A new theme meets a perfect caption! Tranquil Ether has met dynamic Air. It is almost like Ether suddenly discovered a new window, overlooking the most beautiful ocean after being in the same room for half a century.

Dreams are now poems. No more just formless dreams, they are spoken words now. These are two creative and dynamic lovers always inventive and tactile. When they can concentrate and relax their minds, the smooth rhythm of Air merges with the outlandish fantasies of Ether to create quite an athletic duo. Far away in some distant land it may all make sense but to an observer these two are visitors from a different world.

Alarm Bells: Although Air is the master communicator; it is often quantity rather than quality that can make working this relationship, a challenge. Air can't help itself, it must share, it must communicate, the rest is irrelevant for tomorrow there will be more, the download can take forever, and listening is not crucial - just a nod every now and then can suffice. Ether thinks a lot, and that's a bit frustrating for Air, especially when Air is talking and Ether is thinking. You both need space, quiet and agreements on talk time.

Ether / Fire

Ideas on Fire. A flame learns to be still. Being with Ether is meditation for Fire. Now, Fire feels cantered, gets more focused at least enough to become more precise.

Love is on Fire for the first time! It's love at first bite. Fire lights the flame and Ether has no interest in putting it out. Its all systems on go. There are places to go, people to see, new ideas to share and no time to waste. It's a lifetime in a week. Everything is possible, the rocket is alight and the ideas are aflame. As lovers anything and everything is possible. With Ethers fantasies and Fires obsessions, this couple can become bed ridden. How long can it last? Oh they both look worn and tired but through it all, lust and love merge for Fire and Ether and life only gets better.

Alarm Bells: Ideas won't work by themselves. Ether doesn't realise it easily. Fire smells it from miles away. Fire's growing appetite and obsession with the results can drive Ether away. The sacrificial love, the sacred Fire of this relationship can begin to burn out if they don't do some careful maintenance. Fire becomes obsessed, Ether begins to drift, the energy is hard to sustain, the highs were highs and the lows can be low. Trust, loyalty and expectations can make this relationship sour easily. It is up to you both to cut each other some understanding. Fire needs space and Ether can provide support.

Ether / Water

Blue sky touches a full river. Water gets a new world of ideology in addition to its nurturing nature. Ether witnesses a new practical meaning to their philosophy, that of giving. Calmness surrounds them.

Ether, all of a sudden, thinks about a family. The feminine aspect meets the divine and the powers of the heavens merge with Mother Nature. This couple can glide through life, giving and taking, sharing a wonderful sensual and exciting existence. The diversity of their element guarantees lots of laughs and the softness of their nature's guarantees stillness. If you are the Ether-Water pair, celebrate the great gifts that nature has brought your way.

Alarm Bells: "When are you going to start taking responsibility?" Water is irritated finally. Indifferent Ether makes Water think that he is selfish and obsessive. The combination of Ether and Water, although a heavenly pair, may just find that too much of a good thing can become mundane. Water's contentment and Ether's virtual reality can clash from time to time. The whole world may begin to become irrelevant, and the relationship may take on a meaning much bigger than ever intended. Be careful to maintain a healthy aspect of exercise, travel and social life.

Ether / Earth

Philosophy is finally put into practice! If Ether inspires Earth with ideas, Earth can spend their whole life on it until fruition. Ether never has seen this before!

The beauty of this love is its dichotomy. The sparks will fly, the flint is often ignited in a positive sense, and this makes for all manner of sexual gymnastics. It makes for creative development and manifestation. This couple can imagine and make it real. It's a formidable duo when the world of the arts considers that such a pair is a stereotype of the great artists. Manifestors who need the muse, and creators who need management. This is the joy and the bliss of this union, a creative but grounded love affair that will never ever be boring (unless one or the other gets too dominant). Earth gives love by protecting Ether from the ravages of the world. Ether gives love by inspiring Earth to achieve their dreams.

Alarm Bells: Control, control, control Ether don't like the way they are treated. The problem may lie in the fact that Ether don't need protection and are happy with things as they are.

So there is a giving that might not be appreciated. There is a loving that might be seen as controlling. It really isn't wrong, just confusing.

If this is your elemental combination, be mindful that the way you see the world of your partner is just that, your view, not always theirs. If you can understand each others elements, you can thank each other for the love, laugh at the different forms, and get on with life.

Air / Air

Dynamic duo. Carefree spirits. Life is full of freedom for them. Friendly lovers? Not impossible. These are linguistic kings and queens, a magnificent merging of spirits, two blessed and happy souls merging in this relationship to find that conversation is a cornerstone of their love nest. Fun, light and open they celebrate life at every turn and find that making things happen is a great joy for them both, while together. People love to be around air - air relationships, they are infectious spreading love and happiness. Sometimes they get so wrapped in each other that they forget that the world is round, it's just one big rose garden for these two kindred spirits.

Alarm Bells: Two angry cats in a bag? Scattered brain? Blocked communication? Inconsistent and unreliable to each other? Don't know what to say? Insecure relationship? You can talk non-stop about this breaking down relationship at the office or in the bed.

If you over wind an alarm clock the spring eventually snaps and so too, Air and Air can wind each other up until they are off the planet. They can emotionalise each other, spin each other out and there's no stopping them. They may very well attack each other instead of taking responsibility to be self aware and self-responsible, and get out of trouble. Be careful my two Air friends - avoid blame at all cost and you will celebrate love forever.

Air / Fire

Dancing winds and a blazing flames!

The relationship is exciting, spontaneous, never bored and light hearted. What dynamics have you chosen? A joyful, fun loving experience with a wild and wonderful life existing between Fire and Air. Everything is possible, with a minimum of fuss. You'll love each other's ideas, be in a hurry to do whatever comes to mind and can keep up with each other's fast pace of change. A sexy couple, you'll find great holiday resorts, fantastic bush walking trips and places to make love no one else has thought of yet. A powerful and wonderful dynamic.

Alarm Bells: Thinking is like talking for Air while living is undertaking action for Fire. While Air talks about it, Fire starts doing it. Air people often change their minds while Fire people may have already committed themselves to it. Then Air changes their mind again and now, Fire is frustrated. Try to understand each other. Air needs a listener, not a doer.

Fire needs to practice 'calm' before they 'storm' into action, especially when dealing with Air. Air needs to do their homework before presenting an idea in this ever-changing world, especially to Fire. Try creating cooling-off periods before action on any new venture or idea. You'll have so much joy and happiness in this relationship as long as you take those precautions.

Air / Water

Elusive air and embracing Water signals an affair of Air and rain clouds. As the Water learns to flow with grace, Air learns to make ripples in Water.

Ahh bliss - the contented pair, the soul mates, who are never apart. Air and Water live in harmony so much so the world becomes an intrusion. Water loves to nurture, Air loves to be nurtured. Water loves to listen and air loves to share. What bliss could befall these two elements co-habiting. To top it all the sex will be beyond comprehension. Long, slow, fun and sensual. A wonderful symbiotic bond means the physical attraction is blended with heart and mind to make a 'Kamasutra' experience automatically.

Alarm Bells: Nature and nurture, the contradiction in the universe. To stay or go, to move forward or celebrate life as it is, Air loves ideas and thoughts and is always looking to improve, invent and develop new and exciting solutions. Water is happy evolving as the need arises. The challenge in this relationship is to manage growth, to decide on when and where to act. Water will wait while air will be impatient to open new doors. Love each other and see that it is the combination of the two of you that really makes the right pace. Love will blossom but be mindful to respect the differences.

Air / Earth

Communication in action. Air, being a voracious talker, articulates well and the Earth is in constant motion. Earth can try to match that in action! Now if there was in ancient times the model of the warrior and the lover, Air and Earth would be it. The brave hands on hero and the angelic being floating in his or her mind - the flowing silks set against the stone walls of the impenetrable castle walls. Yes, we know the hero always wins but his or her secret is always the angel of love. You two will live the magnificence of the ancients. Grapes always in hand to drip into each other's mouths. Undying loyalty and faithfulness, protector and angel, sweet and sour, ice cream and jelly, this is the life that built the pyramids, and you will do that and more.

Alarm Bells: Duty calls Earth, there's that time in the movie when the hero must decide, love or duty, and there is always a tearing of the heart. Air floats on love, Earth survives on duty. The challenge in the real world is priorities. Earth needs to meet his or her obligations and Air can change them in a moment. The daily challenges of work and play, of love and material is the cross you both must bear. Strong lines of demarcation, clear time allocation and no compromise work-home boundaries will make this relationship sail into the future, the maidenhead flying in the wind, the masts trimmed to perfection and the ship, ship shape as always.

Fire / Fire

An explosive, fast and furious team, this is the best combination to analyse and resolve any problem. Here the two Fires can feed each other with what they both need most: stroking. They understand each other, play together intensely, climb mountains together, are part of the same football team, collect stamps together. They are persistent and demanding lovers - looking for excitement, playing near the boundaries, a virile and demanding regularity, Fire and Fire are kindred spirits in all physical aspects of life.

Alarm Bells: Competition can be destructive and jealousy can easily flare up. This competition can kill their bodies. Beyond human action plans and heartless strategies. Premature greying, aging and wrinkling will tell you all about it. Ahh, but there's a catch. Competition means Fire on Fire might just begin to unconsciously play games. Physically they may meet, and in love they may be kindred spirits, but their minds may play games. Jealousy, insecurity and uncertainty can befall the Fire/Fire couple and then a gap can appear. If you are in a Fire/Fire relationship, be alert so that you do not become obsessed with winning - or being right all the time. It's a 50/50 win-win situation. Your partner has strengths in places you don't and for that they can champion your cause.

Fire / Water

A 'precise and caring' team.

Fire spices up the Water's romance. Water formulates recipes. Fire falls intensely in love with them, markets them brilliantly and it's a great family business. Fire and Water, just think about the combination. Fire can turn Water to steam and Water can put the Fire out. A beautiful balancing act of moderation, fun and joyfulness, a great tenderness and beautiful softness that can sweep these two into love's embrace. Deep and meaningful, long and sensual you two are made for warm nights in front of the open fire. A great working combination, a sensitive caring couple you can also use your energies to help others who don't understand love and life. The romance is physical, emotional and heartfelt. A tender touching and most romantic relationship filled with all the beauty life can bring. Lucky Water, lucky Fire - you were made for soft moments and juicy sex.

Alarm Bells: Fire can take things for granted. It just might become too easy, too comfortable and then resentment can surface. Water thinks Fire is heartless and Fire thinks Water doesn't have any business intentions. Without lots of communication, this polar opposite can fall apart easily. Hey you two, you are in love and there's more to love than just smooching around. Remember the weeks of romance, the honeymoon, that's not for special occasions - it's how it needs to be every day. You both need to make a conscious effort to support and impress each other. With this you are destined to be in a long and happy relationship.

Fire / Earth

Fast and practical partners. They rebuild worlds faster than any other team. Earth gives Fire solid fuel. Fire loves it. Fire burns, transforms and changes the world.

The love will build and material strength will support you both. The world is your oyster and you can rest assured that the energy between you will be thankful, hopeful and joyous. Sustaining the Fire - building the ground beneath your feet will come easily, the team you are is formidable. In bed - well there'll be hours and hours and hours of magic, vital life giving lovemaking.

Alarm Bells: The alarm bells for this relationship are purely self created - Earth may slow to a crawl wanting to put things in order - Fire may see new horizons and growth may be in separate directions. When this happens, destinies part. The future is built into your dreams. Earth - keep up - Fire be mindful not to go off in all directions for the sake of change. Boredom can kill any relationship - guarantee your future - keep growing together.

Water / Water

They are born to nurture each other and anyone around them. Intelligent Water/Water team can hold your attention for hours. They are deep lakes of stillness, calm oceans of silence. When the water moves, you see them everywhere inside, outside and around you.

Intimate and deep relationships are also sensual and intensely emotional. Not many words, but lots of expression, emotional commitments, heaven on earth, love cocoon, two teddy bears hibernating in winter, and with the door shut and the curtains drawn its time for love and smiles and snuggles and cuddles. Two Buddha's deep in compassion, peace and love everywhere signal a reality for any two beings, whose love and passion are soft and comfortable. The joy is infinite, the warmth, and radiant. You two can become a universe in a capsule. There's no turning back, it's slow and steady and long and generous. A giving, snuggling and mushy world of kisses and cuddles and lots of care about the world around you.

Alarm Bells: Food, joy, cuddles and love. What bliss. What about the real world? What happened in the last 5 years? Did you follow up on your career? What happened to the bank account and your health? Be careful Waters for still Waters run deep but they also form swamps. Be mindful of the other six areas of your life. Keep yourself healthy and diversify your interests, otherwise you may end up unable to celebrate love because there's not enough energy or time.

Water / Earth

Water is poetry to Earth's facts. Rocks start melting And Water gets some good grounds.

Earth makes the decisions. Water brings the romance. Hold onto your seats ladies and gentlemen, because these two are about to go on a roller coaster ride which is wonderfully sensual, physical and emotional through thousands of years of history, journeying through the great rivers and canyons and up the tops of the highest mountains. A great celebration of mother Earth, the Water Earth combination screams with rapture at the meeting of minds and hearts. Its one out of the box, a relationship filled with gifts and giving of hugs and holding. A deeply passionate and wildly sexual meeting of hearts! Lucky you two, have fun.

Alarm Bells: Earth wants control and Water refuses it. Earth thinks and Water feels, so there's often a conflict between values and what comes from the tender heart of Water and what comes from the gentle mind of Earth can often arouse much disagreement. How does on then, move forward? Well it's a matter of compromise - don't negotiate - just work on the values, which are important and hold on to them. You can do it, the twinkle in your eyes and the love in your heart can overcome these small challenges.

Earth / Earth

This team is extremely stable and productive, built to last and born to build. They accumulate a lot of wealth and property.

Now here's a couple you'd never ever want to mess with. They have it under control, they know what they want and will protect each other to the death - Romeo and Juliet were Earth and Earth. A couple, whose love died with their bodies. If you are in an Earth/Earth relationship, jump for joy you are about to celebrate the depth of life from which everything is possible. Don't worry about long term - you two are glued at the soul. Loyalty and certainty are your strength.

Alarm Bells: Life can be boring if earth/earth can't get out of their 'repetitive' nature and 'pathologically organised fun'. It can be intense. You both love order, and you both love to be in control, how can you live together like that. In this relationship there is need for balance, and understanding. To evolve together you need time out, tenderness relaxation and just chill time. You need to draw the line at control issues, need clear boundaries so that there's just no confusion whose life is whose. Otherwise, there may be just one too many rules.

Chris Walker is a world leading change agent, an environmentalist and author of more than 20 books. Born and bred in Australia, he consults to people and organisations throughout the world on improved relationships, health and lifestyle through the application of the Universal laws of Nature. The result he offers is that we stay balanced, share loving relationships, work with passion, enjoy success, and live our personal truth. To learn more about Chris?s work and journeys to Nepal, visit http://www.chriswalker.com.au