Understanding and Freeing Yourself From Abusive Relationships

You don't really know what you've got in a relationship until you've been with someone for a long time and by then, you've already got used to that wonderful, charming human being that you'd fallen in love with and then things start to go horribly wrong.

If someone is not treating you the way you deserve to be treated, then it's time to stand up for yourself, which often means having to make the decision to let go and set yourself free to be with someone who will offer you the love and respect you deserve. We are all wonderful, unique human beings and deserve nothing less.

It's hard to withdraw when you've already spent a lot of good times with them, fallen for their charms, love and adore them so much; remembering how good things can be and clinging to the hope that things will get better. You're already strongly, emotionally attached to them, yet they have begun to abuse you mentally, emotionally, verbally, physically and financially. You don't want things to end but at the same time they're making you feel worthless, destroying your self confidence and affecting your health.

They have enslaved you, to some extent, attempting to have total control over every aspect of your life. They have alienated you from friends and family in an attempt to restrict your contact with them, but at the same time will feed them with lies about what a horrible, nasty person you are.

You are aware that they're doing this, but still, you're hopeful that you can fix them; that their behavior will stop and you're not giving up on the dream. Meantime, you're losing the respect of everyone around you because you're refusing to free yourself from this situation.

You are left with him/her and it's YOU who needs therapy. That's their ultimate goal.

Sound familiar?

Why do we meet these people? I firmly believe that we meet everyone in this life for a reason and that the most difficult people we meet are our greatest teachers.

If you find yourself in such a relationship, then you definitely have some self esteem issues to work through. Otherwise, why else would you waste time with someone who would belittle you and make you feel unworthy, when there are so many wonderful people out there ready to complement your life - mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually?

I've had to stand by and watch friends be treated very badly by an abuser and sympathize with them, but, there's nothing I can do for them or that we can do for ourselves, until we decide that we've had enough and it's time to help ourselves.

No-one can help you, but you. And only you, in your own good time, can get to the root of the problem and decide that enough is enough.

Take a look at your past and particularly, your childhood. There was someone then that treated you badly in some way, making you feel unworthy. This person has been put in front of you now to re-awaken those feelings and for you to work through them. You don't deserve to be treated like that or made to feel like that by anyone in this life and, until you realize this and stand up for yourself, then you will continue to go in an out of abusive relationships.

If you refuse to pinpoint and deal with those issues now, then you will continue in your relationship, with things becoming progressively worse. Maybe not - maybe something extreme will happen e.g. they end up beating you severely or walking off with their next victim. In either case, you're left on your own again until the next abusive partner comes along. And so the cycle continues.

Many people just go from one abusive relationship to another, without ever fixing the issues that are leading them into those relationships. It is not until we love, respect and stand up for ourselves, that we end this cycle and allow other, loving and respectful human beings to enter our lives.

What about the abuser? What's their problem?

Again, this person has issues, which are deeply rooted in their childhood. They have obviously witnessed and/or experienced some form of abuse in order for them to have picked up this behavior. However, the abusers can be split into two categories:

The first category is your typical 'run of the mill' abusive relationship. There's a cycle, where there's the abuse, then the apologies, then swearing their undying love to their partner, full of promises that they will change and that they will never do it again. And so, the abused partner, more often than not, goes back for more.

That, to a degree, I can understand because the abused partner is always hopeful that they actually will change. I myself believe that everyone on this earth is inherently good and capable of change, but, at the same time, how many apologies are you going to accept?

Unless your partner is showing definite signs of change i.e. progressing therapy, taking accountability and changes in their behavior, then how long are you willing to put up with their behavior before you decide that you are worth so much more?

The second category is the sociopath. Like your 'normal' abuser, they can be so charming externally, but, once you've noticed that your other half is displaying sociopath tendencies, it's time to withdraw as soon as you possibly can. You can't fix them and you can't make them happy. It's impossible! They don't want happiness and when they find it, they will do all they can to systematically destroy it. They are not 'happy' unless they're miserable.

The difference between the two is very easy to spot because, unlike your 'normal' abuser, who will apologize, try to make amends and can show signs of improvement, the sociopath will show nothing but contempt for those who try to understand and help them. They have no conscience, no guilt and therefore absolutely nothing to apologize for. They can sit and look at pictures of the abuse and swear blind that they didn't do that. Alternatively, they will admit to their behavior, but they fail to recognize it as abusive - it was your fault and you deserved to be treated like that. They will tell you that you are the one with the problem and making big issues out of nothing.

There are other tell-tale signs:

They are incapable of commitment. They may have had some long-term relationships, but these are always tumultuous. They often have several short-term marriages behind them, which have quickly ended in divorce because their sociopath tendencies often accelerate after they have married and have someone they feel they can control, but can't.

The sociopath can also be very promiscuous, since they have no remorse and no personal boundaries. Therefore, it's highly likely that they will have several 'lifeboats' floating around so, once you've stood strong and let them know that you will not put up with their behavior, they will already have found their next, vulnerable victim, long before you've slammed the door shut (although they've probably got your head slammed in the door as it's closing!).

Sociopaths are found among those who have killed animals and people without remorse (your typical serial killer); however, it may not always be that extreme.

This person will set out to destroy you - physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually and financially - if you let them. Believe me, you can't win this one, so, if you have someone who is abusing you and then denying all knowledge or failing to admit that their behavior is abusive, then it's better to admit defeat, cut your losses and run!

Apparently, it's a mental condition that can also be cured since therapists believe that the condition is caused by a traumatic childhood experience such as abuse or abandonment by a parent. However, in order for that person to be cured, they need to admit that they need help and to undergo extensive, cognitive therapy until they've got to the root of the problem.

Since the sociopath is such a skilled manipulator and liar (some have even been known to pass lie detector tests when it is pathological lying) and, because they don't need help, then it's highly unlikely that they will ever seek help and if they do, they will be able to convince a therapist that they are now fine and no longer require their services.

Problems with the mind are the same as physical problems - everything can be fixed. But, in order for this to happen, your partner has to be willing to undergo therapy and in the case of the sociopath, their only chance of any kind of progress, is if you can first of all get them to admit that their behavior is abusive.

If you're reading this and currently experiencing any type of abusive relationship, then please stand strong. We are all unique and wonderful human beings put on this earth to enjoy life, to love and help one another; to live each day like it's our very last and to be happy. No-one deserves to be treated badly. Every one of us deserves love and respect and should settle for nothing else.

Please recognize the issue in yourself that has attracted this character to you, work through this and then take steps to improve your situation. If your partner can't take accountability and take steps to change, then you have to free yourself as soon as possible.

You may be left in a situation (as is often the case) where he/she has taken all of your finances and you're scared to leave. Believe me, if you can close that door, stand up for yourself as a human being and have faith, then there are agencies out there that can help you. God/the Universe will open doors and provide for you. You and your children especially (if you have any), deserve to have a very happy, peaceful, normal life. They deserve nothing less to give them a good start in life.

Remember, it's not the person you will be missing, but the dream of the life that you thought you would be having together.

It was just that, unfortunately, a dream. Remember, that he/she will never change until they decide that they need help and that they will continue to treat people as they treat you. Whoever they have chosen next is being/will be treated as badly as you were (if not worse) because, without help, their behavior will have accelerated.

But, that dream can easily come true for you when you allow yourself to let go and set yourself free to find someone who will truly love and respect you, and who would never hurt you - in any way.

There's one more, very important, thing to remember though, when you do decide to break free - you look yourself in the mirror and tell yourself:

"I am a wonderful, beautiful person. I deserve nothing but the best in this life and will never allow anyone to treat me like that again".

We don't want to be falling into the same trap next time around now, do we?

If you're reading this and in an abusive relationship of any kind, then please seek help at: National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or 1-800-787-3224 (TDD). The hotline has information about shelters, mental heath care, legal advice and other types of assistance.

Rescue A Relationship: Dealing With An Abusive Relationship

In order to rescue a relationship from a difficult situation, it is most important to be positive and understand how to restore the love you shared with your partner.

Sadly all too often relationships involve abuse from one or other of the partners. Such a problem arises not only from physical abuse, although that is bad enough, but also from mental abuse at the hands of the person to whom you are the closest.

In such a case is it worth wanting to rescue a relationship like this?

Regrettably, unless the abusive partner is ready to be helped and change their behaviour, the answer is simply to leave. It is too common to hear a person stay loyal to a bullying partner with the reason 'I still love him/her' or 'I know I can change him/her.' Research tends to show however that such a situation gets worse and not better.

Indications Of An Abusive Relationship

Most people associate abuse with domestic violence, the most obvious type that is characterized by the use of physical violence and intimidation. The instances of this type of abuse are difficult to quantify, as by it's very nature it is a private matter and will often not be reported. What indications we have however tend to show the level of this type of abuse increasing.

Statistics in Britain show that during 2007 10% of men and 19% of women reported being the victim of physical abuse from a partner at least once since the age of sixteen. In some countries this figure may well be greater. Interestingly the problem exists across all socio-economic groups and indeed over both sexes. The problem is fairly widespread and more women suffer physical violence than men but the gap seems to be closing slightly.

Physical abuse is not the only aspect of abuse however. Emotional abuse is likely to be much more common and, while it is less obvious, it can be as damaging if not more so. Very often physical abuse is accompanied by a level of emotional abuse too.

Such mental or psychological abuse employs guilt, shame, fear or intimidation or a combination of these. Threats may be made against the partner or perhaps his or her friends and relations. Sadly this has the effect of minimizing the self-worth of the victim and creating a mood of helplessness and desperation.

Far too common too is a level of sexual violence when a partner is forced to have sex against his or her will. Once again this may involve both psychological and violent behaviour.

The signs you are in an abusive relationship are fairly clear. You will be treated badly by your partner, perhaps by being criticized constantly, being treated purely as a sex object, finding you are being checked upon, frequently being yelled at, experiencing excessive jealousy, you or your children being threatened, becoming deliberately isolated from family, friends and/or money, finding your property destroyed or stolen or even suffering your partner threatening suicide if you do not comply with his or her demands.

There seems little doubt that for a relationship to work there needs to be honest and open communication. This means you will know things are not right when you become afraid to broach certain subjects with your partner or simply live in fear or antagonizing him or her. You may even start to feel you deserve to be badly treated or that you cannot do anything right. You will find yourself doing everything to please your partner.

Should You Rescue A Relationship?

The abusing partner frequently refuses to admit he or she is trying to dominate you or will make excuses for their words or actions. It would nonetheless be worth in the first instance talking to your partner and explaining how you feel and the effect the abuse is having on you.

It is important to never rationalize or understand what he or she is doing. Often abusers were the victims of abuse when younger but will be more cold and calculating than you might suppose. They will abuse a partner out of earshot of any witnesses and strike at a part of the body where cuts and bruises will not be easily seen. It is always a mistake to believe they cannot help their behaviour: we all have a choice.

Be honest with yourself about your situation. Seek out help, as you never need to face the situation alone; more and more agencies are seeking to understand and deal with the problem and are ready to assist victims who approach them for help. Police forces for example are realizing how much domestic abuse can escalate into serious crime and will act quickly once such a situation has been identified.

Children are particularly vulnerable in an abuse situation. Their home is usually the centre of their universe and they are especially sensitive to any friction between their parents. A little while ago I was aware of an abusive relationship that had been going on for years where the father severely restricted the movements of the mother and regularly beat her. When things got particularly ugly the children would dash into the road outside in terror. The children are now grown up but still display the scars of the abuse in their behaviour.

It is possible for abusers to civilize their behaviour but sadly too many will never admit they have done anything wrong. If this letter situation exists, there is little a victim can do except leave the vicinity and go to a place unknown to his or her partner. A worrying statistic shows that 75% of women murdered by an abusive partner are killed after they have left the relationship so it is important for them to find some sort of protective environment and not to try to rescue a relationship.

Conclusion

Therapy is available for both parties in an abusive relationship but this does rely on their cooperation. There seems little doubt that the best action, certainly in the short-term, is for the partners to stay completely apart to improve the health and well-being of both of them.

The temptation is to rescue a relationship on every occasion but unfortunately there are times when it is better to protect yourself and your family. In those instances trying to rescue a relationship is the wrong thing to do.

Keith Braithwaite is a generally nosey and opinionated guy but his heart is in the right place. After nearly thirty years in the corporate world and twenty keenly observing direct selling, he is now following interests in self-development, internet marketing and historical studies and is fascinated by human nature and behaviour.

Keith now likes to help people rescue a relationship from his site http://RescueARelationship.com

Rebuild trust in a relationship.

Opting Out of an Abusive Relationship

Letting go of an abusive partner is surprisingly one of the toughest choices that victims of abuse will eventually make. Victims are often unaware of the unhealthy turn of their relationship and tend to stay trapped in it unless concerned family members and friends bail them out.

Violence and abuse are often normal in the eyes of the abusive partner, and the victim learns to accept this view after repetitive programming and mental conditioning. If you are in this type of abusive and unhealthy relationship, its about time that you pack your bags and learn the art of letting go. Here are some lessons for you:

When you leave an abusive relationship, prepare to pass through a number of phases. The first of the lot is rationalization.

In this phase, you think of reasons to reconcile or explain your partners abusive behavior: You have done something very wrong and deserve to be abused as a form of punishment. You also presume that your partner is plagued with problems which account for the aggressive behavior. When you are in the rationalization stage, you should allow yourself to be egotistical. Your life is your own business and your responsibility. Your partner should not make you the scapegoat for any screw-ups that occur in your relationship.

The next phase that you experience when you are considering leaving an abusive relationship is one in which you feel that you will be unable to live without your partner. This is extremely common. It is quite likely that as you have progressed through the relationship that the person who has abused you has made you dependent on them for many things.

Your abusive partner has had a considerable degree of control over you after breaking your spirit and rebuilding it sans any regard for your needs. When you withdraw from this control, you tend to feel empty. This is just how things work. Don't get stuck in this stage. If you want to unload the burden of sorrow from your life, you must be ready to leave on your own. You do not need anyone's guidance or control.

Value your personal safety. Your abusive partner cannot always temper any aggressive impulses, so watch out for any type of violent behavior. The smallest problem can very well escalate to a serious and big-time abuse without your knowing.

You could become seriously injured, and you could even be killed as a result of physical abuse. If you experience emotional or psychological abuse, you could end up suffering from depression. Believe it or not, this could actually have an impact on your physical health as well. You must consider yourself, your future, and your health.

Once you decide to walk away from an abusive relationship, it is important to understand that the abuser may not like this at all. They could even attempt to hurt you while you are making the attempt. It is important to ensure that you have a plan that includes additional people that can help you through the experience.

Leave without a trace. Do not give your abusive partner any clue of your whereabouts. Opting out of your unhealthy relationship may no longer be so difficult if you follow these tips.

Liz Johnson is a recognized expert on bad relationships [http://www.Magicof-MakingUp.com/wordpress] If you have found this article useful please visit her web site for more tips, information and practical advice on leaving an unhealthy relationship [http://www.Magicof-MakingUp.com/wordpress]

Recovering From an Emotionally Abusive Relationship - 3 Steps to Success, Part 1

Anyone who is coming out of and trying to recover from the experience of an emotionally and psychologically abusive relationship knows that it is very challenging. It can be very difficult to stay strong and follow through with a split, even though your intellect may tell you it is the right thing to do. Going back and leaving several times in a common occurrence. Fortunately, there are things you can do to increase your chances of success. Here is Part 1 containing 3 steps you can take to help you successfully recover from your emotionally and psychologically abusive relationship:

1. Address your diet. The mind and body are linked, and the health of one substantially impacts the health of the other. Concentrate your diet around fresh vegetables, fruits, lean proteins, and whole grains. Reduce your intake of sugars and other highly processed foods as much as possible. If you are having any trouble with appetite, carry around snack foods like jerky, nuts, and fruit and vegetables to eat throughout the day. If you are overeating, be sure to stop eating in the evening by a certain time you set, and don't eat while distracted, such as when you are watching television.

2. Take supplements. Start with a good, food based multivitamin. You may also add calcium supplementation if you do not consume a lot of calcium rich foods. Fish oil is an excellent supplement that has many physical benefits, including anti-inflammatory properties, cardiovascular benefits, and benefits for brain health. 5 HTP (hydroxytryptophan) is a natural antidepressant, and L-Theanine is a good anti-anxiety supplement often used in conjunction with 5 HTP.

3. Implement a doctor-approved exercise program. Focus in cardiovascular exercise, which is ideal for mood elevation. What you want is exercise that raises your heart rate over a sustained period of time. The goal would be 45 minutes of cardio activity, 5 times per week, but any exercise is helpful. Not only does it elevate your mood, but you will achieve greater physical fitness and improve your body image.

Are you interested in addressing your life challenges from a holistic standpoint, assessing the physical, emotional, and relationship components?

For a free copy of my ebook, "Natural Methods To Fight Depression", click here: http://www.stoptoxicrelationships.com/gifts-naturalmethodstofightdepression.html

Shannon Cook is a personal growth and relationship expert who has written a number of informative articles and ebooks on the topic of toxic relationships and holistic personal growth, including physical, emotional and relationship health.

Leaving an Emotionally Abusive Partner - 4 Steps to Maintaining Health and Sanity

Making a big decision in life, like leaving a toxic and unhealthy relationship, is challenging and requires a good deal of courage. If you have come to the place of acceptance that this is the right decision for you, it doesn't mean you will not have struggles and setbacks in following through on what you know is a good choice. Often, your toxic partner will use the same tactics he or she did to keep you in the relationship to draw you back into the relationship, and even increase his or her efforts. Now is an excellent time to take good care of yourself and take steps to clear your head in order to move forward. Here are 4 steps to maintaining your health and emotional clarity as you navigate leaving your emotionally and psychologically abusive relationship:

1. Eat well. Avoid highly processed foods and sugars, opting instead for a diet that is centered around fresh fruits and vegetables, lean proteins, and whole grains. If you find your appetite is dulled during this stressful time, try carrying around healthy snack foods to munch on throughout the day. If you tend to overeat, be sure you are not distracted when you have meals, i.e. don't eat while watching television. Try setting a time in the evening beyond which you don't consume any more food. Take supplements if needed, including a food based multivitamin, calcium, and fish oil, which has many benefits to the body including supporting brain health. 5 HTP is a natural antidepressant that can be of help in many cases, and L-Theanine is a good anti-anxiety supplement. It is advisable to check with a doctor or naturopath before taking a new supplement.

2. Start exercising. This is a fantastic and healthy way to elevate your mood. Check with your physician to determine the best activity level for you. Cardiovascular exercise is ideal, as it allows for the release of feel good endorphins, compounds which are released during activities that elevate heart rate for a sustained period. Swimming, running, the elliptical machine, basketball, dance -- all can be good cardiovascular activities. A good program may include 45 minutes of cardiovascular exercise 5 times per week, but don't let this recommendation prevent you from doing what you can. Some exercise is always better than none.

3. Talk things out with a counselor. You have been through some trauma as a result of this experience, and it is very helpful to have a trained, unbiased person who can offer you feedback and perspective in your life. Also, gather your support network of friends and loved ones close during this time. You need the positive influence of those who affirm, love, and support you.

4. Avoid interaction with the toxic ex partner whenever possible. If you begin to feel anxiety and slipping back into old patterns when you speak to this person, that is a good sign it is time to end the conversation. If you must communicate about certain issues, such as children, stick with the subject and don't allow the conversation to get personal. You are not required to divulge information that isn't relevant to the discussion. If you find yourself stuck in a situation where you must interact and your ex gets personal or off topic, try repeating a nonsense phrase like "lalala" in your head while your ex is speaking.

Are you interested in addressing your life challenges from a holistic standpoint, assessing the physical, emotional, and relationship components?

For a free copy of my ebook, "Natural Methods To Fight Depression", click here: http://www.stoptoxicrelationships.com/gifts-naturalmethodstofightdepression.html

Shannon Cook is a personal coach and resource guide who has written a number of informative articles and ebooks on the topic of toxic relationships and holistic personal growth, including physical, emotional and relationship health.

Women in Abusive Relationships - The Issue in Plague Proportions That Hardly Ever Gets Mentioned

Women in abusive relationships is a scourge that is a plague throughout the world.

Before I proceed I need to comment on the widely held belief that abounds today that abuse in relationships is as likely to be perpetrated by women as it is by men.

My comment is - poppycock. In other words, this is nonsense. The figures we constantly hear are that 1 in 3 women all around the world are in abusive relationships, and that does not include the broader definition of all the non physical aspects of abuse.

It diverts our attention away from dealing with the issues associated with women being abused in relationships. So little has been achieved to this point in time and this red herring gets thrown into the ring to distract us.

In my view it is an indication of part of the problem. It attempts to contradict the vastness of the issue of women in abusive relationships, and demonstrates how those who put forward this belief, are blind to the consequences.

This is not to deny that some women are abusive in relationships, but it is not comparable.

In all my years as a counsellor, I saw women constantly who were living in absolute fear of the men they were living with. I have never seen one man who has claimed he is living in fear of the woman he was living with.

It never ceases to amaze me how the issue of women in abusive relationships gets such little attention.

We keep hearing that 1 in 3 women experience physical abuse in their relationships, not to mention all the other abuse that is experienced as well.

We hear that 3 women a day are killed by a male partner in the US. In Australia it is 1 every 5 days.

Being a woman in an abusive relationship, is still the biggest threat of injury to women - more than heart attacks, cancer, strokes, car accidents, muggings, and rapes combined.

Statistics tell us the most dangerous place for a woman to be is in her own home - not some dark alley, or seedy neighborhood, or a parking lot.

Yet the warning that is regularly put forward is to be wary in such places - and also of strangers.

In addition, today, we are bombarded by the belief that we are at the mercy of terrorists and we need to be alert to the possibility of being targeted. Billions of dollars is being spent on our protection.

The outcomes of women being in abusive relationships highlights the contrast, and the evidence against, the panic associated with so-called terrorism.

Terrorism in the home throughout the world, is gigantic in comparison, yet barely gets a mention, and peanuts is spent on dealing with it in any meaningful way.

Any money that is spent on the issues associated with women in abusive relationships, tends to be on what I would call band aiding issues.

That is to say, it is usually spent on paying for women to live in safe houses and the expenses associated with getting them to that point.

Whilst this is necessary and a good thing, it plays no part in creating any real changes that are necessary to make a difference.

Some governments have policies claiming to aim at eliminating and preventing abuse in relationships, yet have nothing more in place than indicated above.

A major campaign is required as a start for overcoming the problem of women in abusive relationships.

The community generally needs to be made aware of the widespread nature of the problem.This needs to be done by making contact with a broad cross section of media outlets and getting them to do interviews with those who have the information available.

Articles about the problem of women in abusive relationships need to be submitted to these outlets as well. In addition talks must be organized with a whole range of people such as corporate groups, schools, government departments etc., etc.

The issue of women being in abusive relationships is increasingly being recognized as a serious violation of basic human rights.

Today, international organizations, such as the World Health Organization, regard the prevention of abuse in relationships as a high priority and there is a need for urgent action.

A World Health Organization report demonstrates that women being in abusive relationships is widespread and deeply ingrained, and has serious impacts on women's health and well-being.

According to Amnesty International, violence against women in relationships is the greatest human rights scandal of our times.

Leo Ryan has been a relationship counselor for more than twenty years.He discovered inequality is a major problem and his focus is How To Have Equality in a Relationship. Go to his website: http://www.TheEqualRelationshipGuy.com and get a Free report about how to solve a common example of inequality in a relationship.

Leaving an Emotionally Abusive Partner - 4 Steps to Maintaining Health and Sanity

A relationship in which there is an element of psychological and emotional abuse is a very difficult one to leave.  Your abuser knows what to say and exactly how to say it to convince you that your perceptions are incorrect, the problems are your fault, he or she will change, etc etc.  The dialogue may change, but the tactic is the same:  To draw you back into the relationship and assert control over you.  If you are in the process of, or considering leaving someone who is emotionally and psychologically abusive, there are steps you can take to help yourself through this difficult process.  Here are 4 steps to maintaining your health and sanity as you leave an emotionally and psychologically abusive relationship:

1. Eat right.  The mind and body are closely connected, and the health of one impacts the health of the other.  By taking care of your body, you give yourself more emotional strength to make it through the challenging moments.  Focus on eating fresh vegetable and fruits, lean proteins, and whole grains.  Reduce your intake of processed foods and sugar, and avoid stress eating.  Take supplements, starting with a good food based multivitamin, calcium if you do not consume large amounts of calcium rich foods.  Fish oil has a number of benefits to the body, including improving brain health.

2.  Implement a doctor approved exercise program.  The ideal type of exercise for elevating your mood is cardiovascular exercise because it promotes the release of endorphins, the feel good compounds released into the body during exercise.  What you want is an activity that elevates your heart rate for a sustained period of time.  Ideally, you will work up to 45 minutes of cardio exercise 5 times per week.  However, any exercise is better than none, so make the effort to get moving, however you can manage it.

3.  Talk out the issues and trauma you have faced.  Allow for the fact that you have been through a great deal emotionally.  A professional counselor who specializes on abuse issues can be of great help in offering a trained, unbiased perspective on you and what has happened.  Friends and family are also very important to draw close to during this time for emotional support.

4.  Above all, make every effort possible to avoid contact with your abuser.  Think of this person like poison that has the potential to damage you anytime you interact.  If you must communicate due to children, etc, keep the conversations strictly on topic.  You do not need to respond to anything off the topic, so feel free to ignore messages or say, "I need to hang up now," if your abuser tried to draw you back in to a personal conversation.  This is a wonderful exercise in setting your boundaries and reclaiming your power over who and what you allow into your world. 

Are you interested in addressing your life challenges from a holistic standpoint, assessing the physical, emotional, and relationship components?

For a free copy of my ebook, "Natural Methods To Fight Depression", click here: http://www.stoptoxicrelationships.com/gifts-naturalmethodstofightdepression.html

Shannon Cook is a personal growth and relationship expert who has written a number of informative articles and ebooks on the topic of toxic relationships and holistic personal growth, including physical, emotional and relationship health.