Foundations For a Healthy Relationship, Steps to Making Your Relationship Great

Many people are in denial in regards to their relationship. We all want the fairy tale yet many of us have the soap opera. We have the soap opera but continue to believe that we are in a healthy relationship. We pretend we are in a loving, supportive, respectful relationship when in fact most of us are borderline miserable. If you want to build your relationship into a healthy, happy one, then here are some ideas.

1. We often project a false image and deny who we are so for the sake of the relationship we do things that we really don't like, we develop phony persona's and then we are stuck. You should be who you really are and not play this game. Have the confidence to be who you are whether you are going out with someone new or if you are in a committed relationship. In a healthy relationship partners do not try to remake each other - they love each other for who they already are.

2. When you communicate, both talk and LISTEN. Someone once said that the good Lord gave us two ears but only one mouth so we would know to listen to each other. By listening, and hearing your partner out you will begin to build the trust that you need to be successful as a couple. Each of you should have a safe place in your partner. Find a healthy way to communicate, if your partner does something to bother you, you should be able to express it and be heard. Put away blame, anger, ridicule, and arguing and communicate with respect and maturity - this is the way to a great, healthy, and loving relationship.

3. Do opposites attract? Opposites often seem exciting to each other at first, but a relationship with two who are complete opposites may grow very old. So be careful about an initial excitement and be sure your relationship ages well. If you and your partner are worlds apart on the things most important to you then there may be problems. But if you can respect your differences and opinions then you may have a chance. It is a real challenge though if your core values are different. You expect fidelity and your partner believes in open relationships, you want children and your partner does not - these differences may cause real problems and lead to lots of fights if you are not synced up on them. There is no need to waste your time on a bad relationship so carefully pick your partner. Your partner doesn't have to be "perfect," your partner just needs to be right for you. Picking your partner right is the thing that will lead to a respectful, fun, loving, and healthful relationship.

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