6 Simple Steps For Getting Our Belts Around Today's Health and Wellness Issues

Recently there was a news flash which reported that the United States Coast Guard had upped the average weight per person by 25 pounds which means fewer of us would be able to travel on ships and ferries at the same time. At first I thought maybe they were overreacting but then I looked down at the 5 pounds I had packed on in recent months eating those dastardly ice cream sandwiches for desert and decided that it probably was true.

But then again was it really? I really didn't know for sure and decided to take a closer look at my neighbors, co-workers, fellow airport travelers, and friends. What I found was shocking as their belt sizes seemed to be growing faster than livestock on steroids and their general wellness deteriorating faster than a shopaholic can make it to the mall after hearing the word sale.

The next question was what has changed making those of us who are typically fairly health conscious to all of the sudden start moving in the wrong direction when it comes weight management and health and wellness.

The truth is many reasons for this are quite obvious.

The first obvious one would be that fatty high calorie food simply taste better and delivers a higher crave-ability factor. After all most people crave what they can't have and psychologists tell us that the subconscious mind doesn't do a good job of distinguishing between can and can't have. So by telling someone they can't have their chicken fried steak and gravy with cheesecake for dessert it actually only giving them more motivation to sneak off and indulge when no one is looking.

The second thing is stress. Stress causes the body to secrete hormones such as cortisol which cause the body to store fat. Here lately most of us would consider our stress levels to be somewhere between very high and very, very high due to finances, loss of job security, natural disasters, gas prices, relationship struggles, mortgage foreclosures, and so on and so forth.

There are other reasons as for the general decline in health and wellness but the two listed above are two of the most common.

So what can be done?

Most people know what they need to do to keep their waist size under control, blood pressure in a manageable range, cholesterol low, and reduce their chances of falling victim to a serious illness which puts life on hold but may need a casual reminder once in a while.

While the steps below have proven to be tried and true for me and my family they are not for everyone and certainly not intended to diagnose or treat any major illness. This article is meant to help you start the race toward returning to health and wellness rather than providing information for crossing the finish line.

Steps for maintaining and reducing belt size while encouraging wellness

*Stay active: If you can squeeze in 20 minutes a day to take a walk or participate in some type of light doctor approved exercise you might be surprised how much good it will do both in short and long-term. So dust off those walking shoes and get going.

*Don't eat too much: One of the best pieces of advice for me has been simply not to consume more calories than I will be able to burn. For example if you are behind a desk all day consuming 2000 calories or more for lunch will eventually end up as excess body weight.

*Control saturated fat intake: According to the American Medical Association a heart healthy diet includes only 10 percent or less of saturated fat. While few have the discipline to achieve this lofty goal it is not too difficult to keep it under 20 percent with a little effort.

*Don't forget about supplements: Supplements can play a valuable role in health and wellness when used in the right way. A few examples would be to take bilberry based remedies for eyesight, B12 to keep dangerous cardiovascular saboteurs such as homocysteines under control, and glucosamine and chondroitin to improve joint health.

*Mental health is important for both maintaining weight and overall health: When you are feeling bummed out it is difficult to stay active. Additionally, most of the pharmaceutical medications for mental health have a list of side effects just about as long as this article which could make alternative herbal and homeopathic remedies realistic options worth considering.

*Get enough sleep: Lack of sleep is terrible for both short and long-term health. Most sleep experts stress going to bed at a certain time and getting up at a certain time to help alleviate sleep deprivation. If you feel you might need a little help and don't want to trouble your doctor for a prescription there are a number of safe and effective homeopathic remedies currently available.

Robert D. Hawkins is an enthusiastic consumer advocate for the use of alternative natural health products and supplements, with over 10 years experience in the field. To learn more about natural remedies for supporting current and future health visit Purchase Remedies.com

Bipolar Relationships Taking Steps To Make Life More Pleasant

If you or your Significant Other has bipolar disorder, you probably already know that life can be difficult, miserable, and chaotic. You may be interested to know that it does not have to be that way -- that both you and your partner can take certain steps which will make your lives much more livable and even pleasant. While the focus of bipolar relationships can be seen in terms of adult-aged partners, these facts also hold true in other types of relationships, such as friends, siblings, and co-workers.

Do Not Allow The Disease To Take Center Stage

The main problem in a relationship with a person who has bipolar disorder-- or, for that matter, any type of serious mental condition -- is that the illness can "take center-stage." What this means is that the condition becomes a focal point, and everything else revolves around it, having a very negative effect on everything and everyone else in the person's life. It is often quite difficult for either person to see that this is happening, much less know what to do about it.

In bipolar relationships, the non-afflicted partner is often in either of two positions. Either he or she is in the position of "enabling" the person who is ill, or he or she is in the position of attempting to ignore the illness altogether. Both of these relating methods are destructive to the ill person, the non-ill person, the relationship, and their lives. Fortunately, there are better ways of coping.

Taking Responsibility

The first and most important step in managing a bipolar relationship is to place the responsibility on the person who has it. This does not mean becoming cold and heartless; what it does mean is refusing to allow the illness to run your life. You must acknowledge that this serious condition does exist, and you must also acknowledge that it has to be dealt with.

One part of this, obviously, is for the bipolar person to be responsible for such things as taking his or her medication on a regular basis, keeping scheduled appointments with the mental health professional who is in charge of his or her treatment, and to follow the doctor's advice.

Setting Boundaries

However, successful interactions in a bipolar relationship does not end there; it is also necessary to be clear as to what is and is not appropriate behavior. If you do not set this kind of limits and boundaries, you will very likely be in the position of tolerating inappropriate behavior, and the excuses that go along with it.

If the person is receiving proper treatment, his "extremes" as well as everyday irritability should be under some degree of control from medication maintenance; he also needs to know that he is responsible for his behavior, and not be allowed to use "What do you expect, I'm bipolar!" as a convenient excuse.

Bipolar relationships can be difficult for everyone concerned; but this condition does not need to be a reason for constant friction, disruption, or ongoing chaos. The mental health professional can only do so much; the patient himself must be responsible for his own behavior.

Flor Serquina is a successful Webmaster and publisher of Bipolar-Disorder-Today.com. She provides more resources on topics such as bipolar relationships [http://www.bipolar-disorder-today.com/bipolar-relationships.html], bipolar medications [http://www.bipolar-disorder-today.com/bipolar-medications.html] and bipolar disorder test [http://www.bipolar-disorder-today.com/bipolar-disorder-test.html] that you can research on her website even while lounging in your living room.

How to Stay Away From A Toxic Relationship - 3 Steps For Success

Many people have the unfortunate experience of being involved in a toxic relationship. Whatever the issue that has created the damaging dynamic between the partners - abusive behavior, untreated addictions, affairs, or personality disorders - the result in often a partner who suffers a blow to self esteem and self worth through the destructive behavior of the toxic partner. If you've chosen to break free of such a toxic scenario for your own well being, this is a huge step and requires a lot of courage. However, it is important to have support and resources internally and externally to help you stay strong. Here are 3 steps for successfully following through on your decision to leave a toxic relationship:

1. Make your physical well being a priority. Your mind and body are connected, and the health of one affects the health of the other. Focus on eating healthy foods, preferably unprocessed, organic choices. Take vitamins and supplements as needed. A naturopath can construct a tailored supplement plan for you - many people can benefit from adding a fish oil and food based multivitamin supplement as a start. Exercise regularly according to your doctor's recommendation. Cardiovascular exercise is excellent for releasing endorphins, the feel good compounds that contribute to a greater sense of well being. These measures will improve your physical health and send you a message that you are worth the effort.

2. Gather and develop your support network. Spend time with loving friends and family. It is important that you hear as many positive messages about your worth as possible to help counteract the negative messages you assimilated through being in the toxic relationship. Don't hesitate to hire support professionals such as counselors and coaches to help you heal and achieve visions and goals for your future.

3. Avoid interaction with your toxic ex partner. Your ex partner is likely to continue to use whatever tactics that worked to hold you in the relationship. Give yourself some time to gain strength and perspective. If you must have contact with your toxic ex due to sharing custody with children, etc, keep your communication centered around the issue at hand. If the conversation gets off track or personal, disengage and either hang up the phone or leave.

By the way, what is holding you back from making the best choices to achieve the life you deserve?

For a free copy of my ebook, "Strategies For Escaping Emotional Abuse", click here: http://www.stoptoxicrelationships.com/gifts-strategiesforescapingemotionalabuse.html

Shannon Cook is a personal coach and resource guide who has written a number of informative articles and ebooks on the topic of toxic relationships and "difficult" divorces, including the physical, emotional, practical and relationship components.

Avoiding the Toxic Relationship - 2 Steps to Success, Part 1

Most people have the desire for a happy, fulfilling relationship where both parties are mutually respectful, loving, and caring. When both partners have emotional balance and a level of commitment and effort, this result is certainly possible. However, there are instances in which one or both individuals brings personal issues into the relationship that cause hurt and destruction within the partnership. Whether it is addiction, abusive tendencies, unfaithfulness, or other damaging behaviors, the result can be a toxic situation for the other partner. Here are the first 2 of 4 steps for avoiding such a toxic relationship, whether you are just getting out of such a relationship, or seeking to avoid the potential for one in the future:

1.       Take care of yourself physically and send yourself the message that you are worthy of the effort and care. Your mental and physical well being are also tied together, so supporting the health of your body will help support a stable mental state. Eat health foods, focusing on unprocessed organic choices wherever possible. Take vitamins and supplements as needed - a naturopath can create a complete supplement plan for you based on your unique health needs. A fish oil and food based multivitamin supplement can benefit many people to start. Start a doctor approved exercise program, ideally centered around cardiovascular exercise. This type of workout encourages the release of endorphins, feel good compounds that elevate mood.    

2.      Surround yourself with people who are supportive, loving, and affirming. This is key because the actions and words of the toxic partner can be like programming, which causes you to assimilate and believe negative messages about yourself. Immersing yourself in more positive and affirming messages from your support system will help you deprogram the false beliefs about yourself and reality.

By the way, what is holding you back from making the best choices to achieve the life you deserve?

For a free copy of my ebook, "Strategies For Escaping Emotional Abuse", click here: http://www.stoptoxicrelationships.com/gifts-strategiesforescapingemotionalabuse.html

Shannon Cook is a personal coach and resource guide who has written a number of informative articles and ebooks on the topic of toxic relationships and "difficult" divorces, including the physical, emotional, practical and relationship components.

Building Trust in a Relationship in Seven Steps

Trust is perhaps the most basic and yet most necessary element of a successful relationship. It is only when we are able to fully trust our partner and that they are able to fully trust us that we are truly safe and happy. It is easy to get caught up in sensual chemistry, commons interests, that "magic:" that TV and the movies tell us we needs to have when in fact, predictability, routine, and having things we can count on are much more important to the health of a relationship. The seven suggestions that follow will help you to identify if your relationship is a good one and if not, how to make your relationship successful. What follows are seven steps that will help you to build trust in a relationship.

The first thing to look at is consistency. How consistent are you in your relationship? How about your partner? Can you count on each other? Are you there for each other day to day in consistent ways? Romance and excitement are nice adornments, but day to day routine and consistent expectations contribute to a feeling of safety. Being reliable on a day to day basis will build a relationship based on trust.

The next thing you need to pay attention to are communication skills. How well do you deliver your intended message to your partner and them to you? Do your words match your facial expressions? Does your body language match what you are saying? Also, is your intended message being received? Most disagreements in a relationship occur due to a misunderstanding. It isn't the toothpaste cap that is the issue; it is typically an underlying communication mishap. You and your partner need to be able to trust each other's words, to have complete surety that what is being said is exactly what is intended. When your words match your body language, when you say what you mean, you will build trust in a relationship.

Believing in yourself, believing in your partner and in each other's competence as human beings is crucial to a relationship built on trust. If there are aspects of your partner that you are not comfortable with, a gentle and honest discussion about your insecurities is far better than silence, fear and resentment for building trust in a relationship. Finding your partner's strengths and then noticing them with compliments and praise creates a feeling of safety and acceptance in their part. This will, in turn, come back to you. If your partner does something you don't like or is inadequate at something that is important to you, a loving and accepting conversation, while perhaps difficult, will become the base of a loving and trusting relationship.

Complete honesty is imperative in any successful relationship. The fourth step you must take is learning and practicing how to be truthful with your partner. You cannot build trust in a relationship if you are keeping secrets. Secrecy of any kind will destroy the trust in a relationship. Being honest and open can seem basic and easy but it requires intention. The truth will always be revealed and the truth will always set you free. Keeping a secret puts barrier between you and your partner. Secrets require energy to keep and more lies to maintain. This is time and energy you could be putting into your relationship. No matter how difficult it may seem, an honest and open relationship will always be a trusting relationship.

Good communication has already been identified a necessary part of building trust in a relationship but the fifth step, communicating your needs takes this to the next level. It can be uncomfortable to share your needs, especially early on in a relationship. But we get our needs met whether we express them or not and often in unhealthy ways. In order to keep solid in your relationship and build trust it is necessary to share your needs, physical, emotional and social with your partner. You must also be willing to hear your partner's needs and try to meet them. Making your girlfriend or boyfriend guesses what you need or what you are upset about creates tension and resentment which will get in the way of building trust in a relationship. Expressing your needs does not make you selfish but rather self aware and this will go a long way in being able to trust your partner.

The Sixth Step is to learn to say no. It is human nature to want to please others, but when you are putting some else's need and wants ahead of yours all the time it can have a negative effect. When you say yes and actually mean no then you send a conflicted message that will make your partner uncomfortable. He/she needs to know that you mean what you say. It is a good thing when your partner voices his or her needs but you don't need to say yes to everything. Saying no when you need to will help your partner see who you are and respect you because you are laying down boundaries. A partner cannot respect you if you never say no. Standing your ground, when appropriate, and seeing your partner do the same creates a climate of give and take and will help to build trust in a relationship.

Step number seven is all about you. You must always continue to grow and stretch as a human being. Anything that is alive needs constant nurturing and attention and is always growing and changing. By continually bettering yourself and allowing and encouraging your partner to do the same you become two stronger halves of your whole relationship. You must also continually nurture the relationship as its own living entity, separate from the two of you. Like a river, there are times when the water slows and gets murky. It widens and slows, the bottom disappears. Eventually, to maintain health, the river becomes narrow and turbulent. The water flows over rocks and tumbles down waterfalls. Your relationship will do the same and while the rocky parts can feel uncomfortable, the cleanest water is just after a waterfall. Acknowledging these aspects of a relationship and weathering them together will build trust in a relationship.

Watch this video to learn more about how to build trust, how to get your ex back and How to get your boyfriend back.

Recovering From an Emotionally Abusive Relationship - 3 Steps to Success, Part 1

Anyone who is coming out of and trying to recover from the experience of an emotionally and psychologically abusive relationship knows that it is very challenging. It can be very difficult to stay strong and follow through with a split, even though your intellect may tell you it is the right thing to do. Going back and leaving several times in a common occurrence. Fortunately, there are things you can do to increase your chances of success. Here is Part 1 containing 3 steps you can take to help you successfully recover from your emotionally and psychologically abusive relationship:

1. Address your diet. The mind and body are linked, and the health of one substantially impacts the health of the other. Concentrate your diet around fresh vegetables, fruits, lean proteins, and whole grains. Reduce your intake of sugars and other highly processed foods as much as possible. If you are having any trouble with appetite, carry around snack foods like jerky, nuts, and fruit and vegetables to eat throughout the day. If you are overeating, be sure to stop eating in the evening by a certain time you set, and don't eat while distracted, such as when you are watching television.

2. Take supplements. Start with a good, food based multivitamin. You may also add calcium supplementation if you do not consume a lot of calcium rich foods. Fish oil is an excellent supplement that has many physical benefits, including anti-inflammatory properties, cardiovascular benefits, and benefits for brain health. 5 HTP (hydroxytryptophan) is a natural antidepressant, and L-Theanine is a good anti-anxiety supplement often used in conjunction with 5 HTP.

3. Implement a doctor-approved exercise program. Focus in cardiovascular exercise, which is ideal for mood elevation. What you want is exercise that raises your heart rate over a sustained period of time. The goal would be 45 minutes of cardio activity, 5 times per week, but any exercise is helpful. Not only does it elevate your mood, but you will achieve greater physical fitness and improve your body image.

Are you interested in addressing your life challenges from a holistic standpoint, assessing the physical, emotional, and relationship components?

For a free copy of my ebook, "Natural Methods To Fight Depression", click here: http://www.stoptoxicrelationships.com/gifts-naturalmethodstofightdepression.html

Shannon Cook is a personal growth and relationship expert who has written a number of informative articles and ebooks on the topic of toxic relationships and holistic personal growth, including physical, emotional and relationship health.

Leaving an Emotionally Abusive Partner - 4 Steps to Maintaining Health and Sanity

Making a big decision in life, like leaving a toxic and unhealthy relationship, is challenging and requires a good deal of courage. If you have come to the place of acceptance that this is the right decision for you, it doesn't mean you will not have struggles and setbacks in following through on what you know is a good choice. Often, your toxic partner will use the same tactics he or she did to keep you in the relationship to draw you back into the relationship, and even increase his or her efforts. Now is an excellent time to take good care of yourself and take steps to clear your head in order to move forward. Here are 4 steps to maintaining your health and emotional clarity as you navigate leaving your emotionally and psychologically abusive relationship:

1. Eat well. Avoid highly processed foods and sugars, opting instead for a diet that is centered around fresh fruits and vegetables, lean proteins, and whole grains. If you find your appetite is dulled during this stressful time, try carrying around healthy snack foods to munch on throughout the day. If you tend to overeat, be sure you are not distracted when you have meals, i.e. don't eat while watching television. Try setting a time in the evening beyond which you don't consume any more food. Take supplements if needed, including a food based multivitamin, calcium, and fish oil, which has many benefits to the body including supporting brain health. 5 HTP is a natural antidepressant that can be of help in many cases, and L-Theanine is a good anti-anxiety supplement. It is advisable to check with a doctor or naturopath before taking a new supplement.

2. Start exercising. This is a fantastic and healthy way to elevate your mood. Check with your physician to determine the best activity level for you. Cardiovascular exercise is ideal, as it allows for the release of feel good endorphins, compounds which are released during activities that elevate heart rate for a sustained period. Swimming, running, the elliptical machine, basketball, dance -- all can be good cardiovascular activities. A good program may include 45 minutes of cardiovascular exercise 5 times per week, but don't let this recommendation prevent you from doing what you can. Some exercise is always better than none.

3. Talk things out with a counselor. You have been through some trauma as a result of this experience, and it is very helpful to have a trained, unbiased person who can offer you feedback and perspective in your life. Also, gather your support network of friends and loved ones close during this time. You need the positive influence of those who affirm, love, and support you.

4. Avoid interaction with the toxic ex partner whenever possible. If you begin to feel anxiety and slipping back into old patterns when you speak to this person, that is a good sign it is time to end the conversation. If you must communicate about certain issues, such as children, stick with the subject and don't allow the conversation to get personal. You are not required to divulge information that isn't relevant to the discussion. If you find yourself stuck in a situation where you must interact and your ex gets personal or off topic, try repeating a nonsense phrase like "lalala" in your head while your ex is speaking.

Are you interested in addressing your life challenges from a holistic standpoint, assessing the physical, emotional, and relationship components?

For a free copy of my ebook, "Natural Methods To Fight Depression", click here: http://www.stoptoxicrelationships.com/gifts-naturalmethodstofightdepression.html

Shannon Cook is a personal coach and resource guide who has written a number of informative articles and ebooks on the topic of toxic relationships and holistic personal growth, including physical, emotional and relationship health.

A Kernel of Truth about Relationships: 4 Steps to Improvement

It's all about relationships! proclaimed my father during our recent holiday visit with my parents. Santa Claus coffee cup in one hand and a wagging finger toward my wife, Elizabeth, with the other. When you retire, thats what you realize is most important in life (okay, so thats not him in the photo).

Dad recently retired from 30+ years as an orthopedic surgeon and the major shift in lifestyle seems to have brought about a significant shift in his outlook on life. For me, his statement about relationships became much broader and more profound than I thought such a simple and reasonable statement could ever become.

At first look, it makes sense that relationships are vital to our lives. Whether it is friendship, dating, marriage, family or community, relationships with others are a part of our everyday life. They give us belonging, meaning, companionship, intimacy and love. But, pulling back from this view and taking a broad gander at the subject I realized that relationships are more than just meaningful interactions with people. When we relate or interact with something we are, in fact, in relationship with it. For instance, our relationship with work, our relationship with ourselves, our relationship with our health and our relationship with our spirituality. By defining relationships from this broader perspective, our relationship list becomes almost endless.

You see, when we look at our relationships, we look at our interaction with every part of our lives; people, places, things, and events. So, what is our relationship to our work, ourselves, our environment, our health, our spirituality? How do we relate to these things? Or, better yet, if it is all about relationships how are our most important relationships?

Coming from the psychotherapy world, I often helped couples, families and individuals improve personal relationships by working through a series of 4 questions. Once I broadened my definition of relationships, I found that these questions are applicable to all types of relationships. The questions go something like this:

1. What relationships do you value most?

Be clear about what you value and which relationships are truly priorities to you.

2. Why do you value them?

Understanding the value these relationships have for you underscores the importance of the relationship and clarifies why a relationship feels important.

3. How do you nourish each relationship?

Now that youve identified how and why a relationship is important, you must define what it is that you do to keep that relationship alive and growing.

4. How do you maintain your commitment through the tough times?

Are the divorce stats really any different from the number of other relationships that end in our own lives (i.e., dropping the diet, forgetting exercise, leaving job after job, putting personal goals and dreams on hold, getting around to the God/spiritual thing when you have more time, etc)? These relationships may not necessarily be a marriage but like a marriage these relationships have their challenging times. Similar to a marital relationship, we must work through the difficult times in our other relationships rather than set them aside until a better time or just plain hope the struggles go away. This is often the point at which my coaching clients seek my assistance.

You will inevitably find that nurturing these relationships is often like a juggling act. Though, once we identify the key relationships in our lives and begin relating with them rather than leaving them on our To Do list, we will soon find that balance in life is an attainable goal and that, in fact, life truly is all about relationships.

© 2004 by Dr. Robert A. Eubanks

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5 Steps to Sacred Relationships Book - Step One, Turning Up for Sacred Love

When you are next looking at how to improve your love life, don't just look at your genitals and think how you can add an extra bounce. Think outside the domain of that little area and focus on all seven realms of love. Although love can end up being expressed sexually through the genitals, love making covers a much wider domain of human emotion.

In my new book, sacred love I describe 5 steps to a sacred relationship. Those five steps are actually sequential, and there's a priority of them to create sustainable love. Sure, it may result in a highly enthusiastic and long term sex life, but there are so many other layers to gratify.

There are 5 steps to sacred relationship, a relationship that lasts forever. Today, in this article I am going to explore a small portion of the second step, turning up. There is a physical aspect and a mental aspect to turning up in a relationship. Both are critical.

Turning up in a relationship means that you arrive in the relationship un encumbered with ex partners, parents, children, health problems, fear, psychological problems, sleep disorders and fantasies of meeting someone who is going to solve your life long sadness.

This is not to say, that turning up means we don't have children, parents, ex partners, health issues, fear, psychological problems, sleep disorders and fantasies. Turning up means we protect the sacredness of our relationship from them. Self management means we isolate issues and put solutions in place that, whether we are single or double, deal with the issue. For example, single parenting is a great challenge, but also a great gift. If a person is walking around imagining what it will be like with a surrogate parent helping them, and they meet a lover, then that person doesn't turn up. Their hopes of a helper, a surrogate, a rebuilding of a unit turn up. And this blocks love.

There are many unhappy people who are looking for love. They actually hope that love will resolve their unhappiness and it does, for a week or two. But an unhappy person has an attitude, and in that attitude there is a glitch. This glitch will not be compensated by a lover.

On the other hand a person with deep seated fear cannot show up. There was one lady who had a sister who was violent. The lady was very peaceful, because this (as you will see in my article on excess and deficiency) is how sisters balance each other. So, from the very beginning, this lady always put on a half face, she was always peaceful on the outside, and therefore all her rage and anger went inside. So, when she fell in love, she could only trust sex. She couldn't trust herself. When a man really, really loved her, she couldn't accept it, because she judged her sister, and therefore herself, so much for the anger and violence.

Turning up for sacred love is easy. But it requires absolute humility. Sometimes that humility comes from realizing we made a bad mistake leaving someone just because we didn't feel worthy of their love. That is humility isn't it?

Here is a quote from this weeks Love Inspiration......

To fall from your high perch and suffer the agony of broken love is what in the East is called rebirth. The self is crushed and you are reborn anew. Let this old self, that was filled with yesterday and promises of tomorrow, die. There is nothing to worry about. Just hurt, let it hurt. Most important is don't fight it. Let it hurt. Fall and the old self will die and there will come a day of sunshine, more quickly if you don't resist. This is stillness, falling from the high perch. losing control. Most important is to let go. Don't hold on. Forget hope and wishing to be back together, that will hold you in pain, fall, let go, surrender and then find your feet again. Let go.

I want to share with you a teaching that I use to help people turn up for love in the physical sense of it. I hope you enjoy it.

Your body is divided into seven levels. Your heart is in seven segments and there are seen realms of love. Those seven realms are described in the sacred love book, and on an article on the web site at http://www.chriswalker.com.au - look for articles.

For simplicity, and conformity with Chinese and ayurvedic teachings I have written this synopsis based on only five levels. I have merged two levels together.

The first area

First, from the hips down to the ground, your earth side. This area determines your groundedness. If there is a problem in this area of your body, it is reflecting a mineral deficiency. You can start taking mineral supplements such as calcium and magnesium. (these are on the periodic chart)

Problems below the hips reflect either trying to hard or not trying enough and they come from your dreams. If your dreams are too expansive, then your legs will become painful from over stretching. If your dreams are too small cellulite, and arthritis will set in. Torn hamstrings come from over reaching.

These problems are reflected in your sex life by inability to orgasm or premature orgasm. If these problems aren't in your life, then, your mineral balance is good, and your dreams seem to be real.

The second area

Second, the area between the pubic bone and the ribs. The water territory, bladder, colon, reproduction. This area is most vulnerable in block us from turning up in love because it is the area where we hold onto someone we love, and can't let go. It manifests in sore lower backs, bladder infections and constipation. This area is fed by herbs and therefore things that are green fertilize and strengthen this area. If you have problems in this area it may be wise to use herbal tea and Chinese herbs to help strengthen this area.

Problems in this area are associated with holding. Colon, bladder, water retention, constipation, and diarrhea, cancers and all reproductive issues reflect either excess or deficiency in attachment. Holding on to the past, or holding onto the future. Running away from the past, running away from the future.

These problems are reflected in your relationship by judgment, criticism, expectations and ultimately depressions and disappointment. If you find yourself giving advice that wasn't asked for or being critical all the time because your partner doesn't meet your desired level, then, you can easily address with herbs. Either heating or cooling depending on your specific issues.

The third area

Third, the area around the heart. This is the fire level and this is the most common reason why people can't show up in relationship. They are still angry, bitter, pissed off about something in the past. The words most used by people who have a block to a past experience are acceptance, forgiveness and unconditional love. This area can be easy transformed with the use of spices. Heating and cooling spices and some vitamin supplements like vitamin C.

Problems in this area are reflected in criticism of some past love, bad breath, heart problems, lung problems and sore upper back/neck. A person who can't turn up because of blockage in this area will promise the earth, but can't deliver. They are deeply and secretly angry, broken hearted about someone who they really love, still love, who hurt them in the past (even by dying, dumping them, or being naughty)

These problems are reflected in your relationship by a certain independence. A commitment to love but an undying commitment to remain free spirited, to hold their power, to remain strong, to make choices that are self sustaining, but couple destructive. This person is the seducer. They want you when you run, then they run when you want them. This person can't turn up because deep down, they are still reacting to the past.

The forth area

Four is the most difficult. The forth level is associated with ambition. It is an intellectual area of knowledge and awareness. It blocks us turning up in love because we don't know how to create boundary. The person with excess or deficiency in this area, wants everything. They want it all, but most of all, they want to be in control. Protein and meat are the most important anti dote to either excess or deficiency in this area. Both are earthing and provide the solidarity for love.

The person whose blockage is in the forth area, is often a vegetarian. Most often because they can't sit still long enough to digest mean and also because they will have some philosophical mirror of how killing animals is against nature. The cause of blockage in this area is competition, comparison and trying to like or not like someone else.

Blockage in this area is revealed by hyperactivity, avoidance, fear, uncertainty and most of all, untruth. The person with this blockage will not reveal themselves. They are too competitive. Turning up is painful for this person because they fear you aren't going to like what you see. So they usually turn up in a disguise. A religion, a Yogi mask, a Buddha mask or a Moslem mask. These invented personas become the identity this person presents to their partner. They, themselves, rarely really show up in their real truth, only in aspiration of who they could be.

The fifth area

Seeking approval is a normal childhood quest. We want love and because parents are busy, we reach out for it. This is how our ego develops. By the time we are 3 it's complete, we only need to dress it differently as time goes on. But when parents are arguing, or one parent seems to be the victim (not really the truth) we develop a excess or deficiency in this area. We start wishing for love, instead of seeking it.

This blockage stops people turning up because they are unable to sustain presence. They dream and in dreams, we just don't turn up for real love. We only dream about how this person will fulfill our dreams, like a childhood story book, we're not in love with the person, we're in love with the story this person can cause.

The only cure for this last level is depression, sadness, heart ache, nervous breakdown. The usual remedy sought is self absorption, isolation, peace and meditation. Eventually, the loneliness of these temporary fixes drives the individual to the real solution which is to value what they have more than what they think they deserve.

I hope you found this fascinating.

The laws of nature - woven into the fabric of our lives in excess and deficiency. The seeking of illusion, and therefore the transient victories of lives that lack the most beautiful gift possible in life. Turning up for love.

With Spirit

Chris

If you only know two words in all you life, excess and deficiency can be them. Too much and too little.

Chris Walker is a world leading change agent, an environmentalist and author of more than 20 books. Born and bred in Australia, he consults to people and organisations throughout the world on improved relationships, health and lifestyle through the application of the Universal laws of Nature. The result he offers is that we stay balanced, share loving relationships, work with passion, enjoy success, and live our personal truth. To learn more about Chris?s work and journeys to Nepal, visit http://www.chriswalker.com.au

Leaving an Emotionally Abusive Partner - 4 Steps to Maintaining Health and Sanity

A relationship in which there is an element of psychological and emotional abuse is a very difficult one to leave.  Your abuser knows what to say and exactly how to say it to convince you that your perceptions are incorrect, the problems are your fault, he or she will change, etc etc.  The dialogue may change, but the tactic is the same:  To draw you back into the relationship and assert control over you.  If you are in the process of, or considering leaving someone who is emotionally and psychologically abusive, there are steps you can take to help yourself through this difficult process.  Here are 4 steps to maintaining your health and sanity as you leave an emotionally and psychologically abusive relationship:

1. Eat right.  The mind and body are closely connected, and the health of one impacts the health of the other.  By taking care of your body, you give yourself more emotional strength to make it through the challenging moments.  Focus on eating fresh vegetable and fruits, lean proteins, and whole grains.  Reduce your intake of processed foods and sugar, and avoid stress eating.  Take supplements, starting with a good food based multivitamin, calcium if you do not consume large amounts of calcium rich foods.  Fish oil has a number of benefits to the body, including improving brain health.

2.  Implement a doctor approved exercise program.  The ideal type of exercise for elevating your mood is cardiovascular exercise because it promotes the release of endorphins, the feel good compounds released into the body during exercise.  What you want is an activity that elevates your heart rate for a sustained period of time.  Ideally, you will work up to 45 minutes of cardio exercise 5 times per week.  However, any exercise is better than none, so make the effort to get moving, however you can manage it.

3.  Talk out the issues and trauma you have faced.  Allow for the fact that you have been through a great deal emotionally.  A professional counselor who specializes on abuse issues can be of great help in offering a trained, unbiased perspective on you and what has happened.  Friends and family are also very important to draw close to during this time for emotional support.

4.  Above all, make every effort possible to avoid contact with your abuser.  Think of this person like poison that has the potential to damage you anytime you interact.  If you must communicate due to children, etc, keep the conversations strictly on topic.  You do not need to respond to anything off the topic, so feel free to ignore messages or say, "I need to hang up now," if your abuser tried to draw you back in to a personal conversation.  This is a wonderful exercise in setting your boundaries and reclaiming your power over who and what you allow into your world. 

Are you interested in addressing your life challenges from a holistic standpoint, assessing the physical, emotional, and relationship components?

For a free copy of my ebook, "Natural Methods To Fight Depression", click here: http://www.stoptoxicrelationships.com/gifts-naturalmethodstofightdepression.html

Shannon Cook is a personal growth and relationship expert who has written a number of informative articles and ebooks on the topic of toxic relationships and holistic personal growth, including physical, emotional and relationship health.

The Best Mental Health Counseling - Seven Steps to Stress-Less Success

1) Create a life vision and visit it daily

What I mean by a life vision is this: Where are you going? Where are you going in life? And what are you doing all this for? What's the target? Many people don't have this target or vision in their lives. They're just in motion. They don't really know where they're going. That's not necessarily the worst thing in the world, but oftentimes what happens to people who don't have a destination or a target, is that they burn out. They don't have any purpose for doing what they're doing. Additionally, when I say visit your vision daily, it's to really think about it and visualize your vision. It would be great if every morning you gave a couple minutes of thought, or meditation, and visualized your vision; meaning that you actually see yourself living in that fully fulfilled place, wherever it is and in all parts of your life, not only just your world of work but your health and relationships, all parts of your life.

2) Live from the goals that reinforce your vision

If you have goals but they're not in alignment with your vision, or they don't reinforce your vision, then somehow there are some wires crossed and you won't fulfill either your vision or your goals. When there are wires crossed, we oftentimes have what we call a values conflict. And a values conflict can be extremely draining and extremely stressful. It's time for you to get clear, about your vision and to set the goals that are in alignment with your vision so they really help support and reinforce your vision and help you fulfill your vision. Write them out, and then check in with them occasionally to make sure that you're actually living in alignment with them.

3) Learn and implement your personal boundaries

When you really break it down, boundaries are really about knowing what to say "Yes" to and knowing what to say "No" to, and being very clear about where there needs to be a "Yes" and where there needs to be a "No." Of course, then you need to make sure you follow through with your boundaries. Some boundaries may be boundaries you just have with yourself, and some boundaries might be boundaries you have with other people, events, situations or scenarios. Boundaries are designed to help keep you in balance and to help keep you healthy and energized. That's the whole purpose of boundaries. If you want more balance and less stress in your life, clearly defined boundaries and implementing those boundaries will help get you there.

4) Participate in supportive communities

I can't emphasize this part enough. We aren't designed to do life by ourselves. We're social beings, yet so many people get into a certain lifestyle pattern and they don't invite other people in to help them or to support them. I want to encourage you to look at your support system and to really evaluate it. This is a great time to take a good look and really inventory your life. If your support system that's lacking, then it's a great time to start beefing that up, because you're going to find that your support communities will really help you to not only achieve your goals, but they'll also help you with things like boundaries. They'll help you with things like creating a powerful vision. They'll remind you and help hold you accountable, and they'll help you to see your blind spots, those areas that you might not otherwise be aware of.

5) Feed your mind, body, heart and soul

Feed your mind with good thoughts, positive thoughts and with images of success and happiness. Feed your body and take good care of it. Feed your body good food, regular exercise and rest. Make sure your body gets the maintenance that it needs. And your heart, how do you feed your heart? Let me ask you this: What is it that really gets you passionate? What is it that really lights you up more than anything else? Whatever that is, that's your heart energy. Make sure you're feeding yourself with that heart energy, that passion that may be totally unique to you, but yet it's passion for you. And then your soul, what is your spiritual path? What feeds you spiritually? For some people it might be something as traditional as going to a church service. For other people it might be practicing yoga. For others it might be dancing or singing or writing. And for even others, it's going out in nature or watching a sunset. Whatever it is for you, make sure you feed that part of you. Make sure you feed all these parts of you.

6) Keep what is most important most important

There's an old saying that goes like this: The most important thing about the most important thing is to keep the most important thing the most important thing. I know that may sound like a bunch of doubletalk, but it isn't. What this is referring to is what it is that you truly value. This is what defines your boundaries and reinforces your vision and your goals. If there is something you truly value but you don't protect, it's then easy to lose track of your values and get led astray. Know what it is that's most important. Know what it is that you truly value, and then keep and maintain that. Make sure that most important thing is kept the most important thing for you.

7) Consciously breathe, smile and laugh

Breathing is something that we take for granted. We have become a culture of shallow breathers. I discovered this for myself as result of practicing yoga. One of the primary emphases of yoga is on breathing. I personally realized how unconscious I had become about my breathing. But by practicing yoga I began to really tune into my breathing and how big of a difference, a profound difference, it's made in my life to be a conscious breather. I encourage you to do the same, whether you take up yoga or not. And then there's smiling. When you smile, you automatically release endorphins, which are the "feel good" neuro-hormones. Smiling will always make you feel good. And laughter, I believe, probably speaks for itself. Laughter is such a wonderful medicine. Laughter is actually probably one of the best natural medicines we can ever engage in.

There you have it: The Seven Simple Steps to Stress-Less Success! NOW, go do it...live it..and love it!

I provide mental health counseling, marriage counseling and relationship counseling to help professionals and their families eliminate stress, maximize success and create extraordinary relationships at home, at work and in the community. As a mental health counselor, marriage counselor and relationship counselor my number one goal is to help people as painlessly a possible complete the therapeutic process. I've been offering counseling, coaching, and educational programs since 1987. My programs are focused on empowering people to have more successful lives, businesses and relationships. You'll always find FREE Life and Relationship Success Special Reports at http://kendonaldson.com/. I'm also the author of Marry YourSelf First! Say "I DO" to a Life of Passion, Power, Purpose and Prosperity.

Boost Your Mental Health - Four Easy Steps

We are all fully aware of how good physical health undeniably contributes to a good quality life. However, there are still many of us who do not realize that good mental health is equally important. In fact, good mental health is a necessity if one wants to live a complete and full life. It is now widely recognized that those with good emotional health are more likely to handle life's inevitable challenges, build strong relationships, cope with bad things and bounce back to move on, and thus lead more productive, fulfilling lives.

The absence of good mental health manifests itself in various mental health problems, such as anxiety, depression, or other psychological issues. It is the presence of positive thinking and positive characteristics in our lives that is crucial for emotional stability because not feeling bad is NOT the same as feeling good. As such, we all should make sure that we do not neglect our mental health but do all we can to maintain it and, more important, to boost it any time possible.

The recent mental health statistics show that 1 in 4 people will experience some kind of mental health problem in the course of a year. Such problems are equally common in men and women, but the types of problems differ. Women are one-and-a-half times more likely to be affected by anxiety and depression, while men suffer more from substance abuse and anti-social personality disorders. Men are also more prone to suicide. Serious mental health problems are also more common than people think, 1 in 100 has a severe mental health condition such as schizophrenia or bipolar disorder.

So how do we ensure that our mental health stays at its best? What can we do to boost it, and how do we maintain positivity in our lives? The good news is that there are indeed many things we can do to boost our mood, to build our resilience and to lead more enjoyable lives.

1) Improve Your Physical Health

The best way is to introduce some type of regular exercise into your weekly routine. Exercise not only strengthens the hearth and lungs, but also releases serotonin, dopamine, norepinephrine, and endorphins that have an energizing effect and lift our mood. The effects of exercise are felt instantly, unlike drugs which can take several weeks to kick in.

Depression is commonly associated with sleep problems so by introducing regular exercise individuals can increase their levels of activity and consequently improve their sleeping patterns. Regular exercise reduces stress and tension and helps clear the mind.

Another benefit of exercise is that it contributes to a more positive body image, which can be helpful for those wishing to increase their self-confidence and self-esteem. Having more positive body image and feeling better about the way we are perceived means that we do not mind socializing and feel good around others.

2) Build Your Resilience

In order to cope with life's ups and downs and to strengthen our mental health it is necessary to build up our emotional resilience. This is our ability to maintain, or recover good feeling about ourselves, independent of the environment we may find ourselves in. Emotional resilience can be achieved in many ways but the most crucial are by:

Talking to someone, e.g. to a friend, family member or a counsellor, because communication releases tension that may build up inside.

Improving your self-esteem - this is particularly important since many situations in our lives, such as, relationship break ups, putting on weight, not getting the job we want, can dramatically lower our self-esteem. People wishing to improve their self-esteem must treat themselves in a positive but honest way.

Managing your stress levels - reduce your working hours, ask for help, get some regular 'me-time' when you can completely relax and unwind by developing good relationships with your friends, family or your partner.

And eventually, enjoying yourself!

3) Take Care of Yourself

It is important that you pay attention to your own needs and feelings. You must strive to achieve a balance between your daily responsibilities and the things you enjoy, in order to prevent a build up of stress and negative emotions. Consider learning and discovering new things, which is strongly encouraged as well as the pursuit of the beauty of nature or art. Studies show that simply walking through a garden can lower blood pressure and reduce stress, so if you want to achieve a natural high and feel good go for a stroll in a park or an art gallery. Finally, choose a well balanced diet and limit your alcohol intake and it is guaranteed that you will feel much better, both physically and emotionally.

4) Do Not Assume That it is Too Late to Make Changes

Whatever internal or external risk factors have shaped your mental health, remember, these can always be counteracted with protective factors such as a healthy lifestyle, strong relationships and many coping strategies. So do not give up!

Denisa Milucka. A Graduate Member of British Psychological Society. I have worked in the field of mental health for several years. I have been interested in promoting the awareness of mental health and related psychological issues, such as the occurrence of various personality disorders, their symptoms, treatment and coping strategies. If you would like to know more about currently recognized personality disorders, please visit my website below:

http://www.borderlinepersonalitydisorder-symptoms.com/

or my new blog on:

http://www.allabout-personalitydisorders.blogspot.com/

Success and Goals - Follow Some Simple Steps to Achieve Health, Relationship, and Financial Success

Success is the feeling inside of you when you know that you are achieving your goals in the areas of health, relationships, and family. You may be seeking success in all of these areas, or just be focusing on one area for the present time. In any case, you can enjoy this feeling that comes with success by following a few simple steps to ensure that you are taking steps in the right direction.

Write down the success goal you most want to achieve. Be as specific as possible. For example, don't write down that you want to make lots of money, because that is much too vague. Instead, write down the exact amount of money you want, the date by which you want it, and the exact manner in which you will receive it. You can always alter or amend your success goals, but start out by being as thorough as possible.
Now write down the steps you will need to take to get you from where you are currently to where you want to go. This may take some time for you to write down, but it will provide you with a road map to get to where you want to be.
See what you must learn I order to achieve your goal in this area. Do you need to take a class, find a mentor, or read some books to learn what you will need to know? If so, write that down and begin to do your research. Everything in life is a learnable skill, so get started now and learn what you need.
Every morning and every evening, look at what you have written. Make any changes you need to make and write down how you are feeling after taking a step to get closer to your success goal.


By doing this on a regular basis you will achieve success simply by focusing your attention on what you want.

And now I invite you to find out more by visiting http://www.SuccessAndYourLife.com to learn what many of us now know. I have used these principles for almost two years now and have achieved great financial success in my life, so I know you can do it as well in your life.

Foundations For a Healthy Relationship, Steps to Making Your Relationship Great

Many people are in denial in regards to their relationship. We all want the fairy tale yet many of us have the soap opera. We have the soap opera but continue to believe that we are in a healthy relationship. We pretend we are in a loving, supportive, respectful relationship when in fact most of us are borderline miserable. If you want to build your relationship into a healthy, happy one, then here are some ideas.

1. We often project a false image and deny who we are so for the sake of the relationship we do things that we really don't like, we develop phony persona's and then we are stuck. You should be who you really are and not play this game. Have the confidence to be who you are whether you are going out with someone new or if you are in a committed relationship. In a healthy relationship partners do not try to remake each other - they love each other for who they already are.

2. When you communicate, both talk and LISTEN. Someone once said that the good Lord gave us two ears but only one mouth so we would know to listen to each other. By listening, and hearing your partner out you will begin to build the trust that you need to be successful as a couple. Each of you should have a safe place in your partner. Find a healthy way to communicate, if your partner does something to bother you, you should be able to express it and be heard. Put away blame, anger, ridicule, and arguing and communicate with respect and maturity - this is the way to a great, healthy, and loving relationship.

3. Do opposites attract? Opposites often seem exciting to each other at first, but a relationship with two who are complete opposites may grow very old. So be careful about an initial excitement and be sure your relationship ages well. If you and your partner are worlds apart on the things most important to you then there may be problems. But if you can respect your differences and opinions then you may have a chance. It is a real challenge though if your core values are different. You expect fidelity and your partner believes in open relationships, you want children and your partner does not - these differences may cause real problems and lead to lots of fights if you are not synced up on them. There is no need to waste your time on a bad relationship so carefully pick your partner. Your partner doesn't have to be "perfect," your partner just needs to be right for you. Picking your partner right is the thing that will lead to a respectful, fun, loving, and healthful relationship.

Discover the best techniques to build a healthy relationship in your life. Click the link or just go directly to http://www.TheMagicOfMakingUpFast.com and get your free relationships report.

Finding Stillness - Four Powerful Steps to Innerwealth - Inner Health

Finding Stillness

Not sleeping well? Facing challenge? Feeling tired or exhausted allot? Getting run down, unfit? You might be thinking "I need a break" or to "change my workplace" but think it through, "if you always do, what you've always done, you'll always get, what you've always got" What you might need is a change of heart. Smarter thinking, less work hours, more precision, less confusion, more energy for the other side of your life.

The key to all this is how you manage your ego.

Your ego is a mass of thoughts, both conscious and unconscious. So, getting through it is complex, drawn out process, similar to cleaning the mud out of muddy water in a bucket. The more you dip you hand in, the more you stir up the mud and the harder it is to clean.

So, rather than get tangled cleaning up the ego, the better way is, to jump over it. Your heart and mind need a home that is not centred in that muddy world of your ego. Money needs a bank, an aeroplane needs a runway, your body needs safety at night and your mind and heart need a home outside the ego.

The unique home your mind and heart need is stillness, it is a space, a state of mind. Stillness is a space from which sleep is deep, facing challenge is easy, certainty comes and thinking is clearer. It is a space where calm and rest are automatic. This space of stillness is also the primary requirement for inspiration and love. It is a solid base from which you can launch and return when you need it.

Your ego can win and these are the spoils of its victory over your heart -mind space.

Sleeplessness

Depression

Anxiety

Stress

Uncertainty

Long working hours

Unproductive mind states

Emotional drama

Stubbornness

Regret

Anger

Envy

These are the battles the ego can't win

Gratitude

Presence

Certainty

Love

Jumping the ego - finding stillness

In order to learn the skills of jumping the ego, you will need to be prepared to practice certain disciplines. The learning can take some weeks but in the end, the space you will own and be able to return to at will, is worth the effort.

Practice Discipline 1. Dead stillness

If your body, mind and heart were a horse and carriage. The horses would be the body, the carriage the heart of it, and the driver the mind. For the vast majority of people, the horses drive the cart rather than pull it. In other words most people let their body rule their head and heart. Therefore, the first skill requirement for understanding the art of stillness, is to train the body to obey the mind. That means, being dead still for 10 minutes, in one place, not even moving a finger. Try it. It is harder than you think.

Practice discipline 2. Observation

How many times have you found yourself angry and frustrated because someone doesn't understand you? This reveals a common human issue. We think that we are what we think. Attachment to our knowledge, beliefs, stories, expectations spells trouble for everyone of us. It is from this fundamental place that all our struggles and challenges begin. Therefore, separating ourselves from what we think is a magic pill, an automatic release from a very troublesome habit. See if you can conceptualise this. You are not your morals and ethics. You are not your achievements. You are not what you think. Your opinions about things are your egoistic projection of who you think you'd like to be. Everything that you think, know, believe and worship is simply your ego trying to create some sense of permanency in an impermanent life (you are going to die one day for sure)

Once you have learned to be "dead still" the second discipline is to kill the power of the ego. "dead thinking" - In a state of dead stillness, and preferably only after you master that skill for 10 minutes, you start to withdraw yourself from your thoughts. You achieve this by just watching them. Now, this is more challenging than it sounds because you must not try. Therefore, you must let any thought that chooses to be in your head, surface. These might not be "nice" according to your self projection of who you are, but this is the art of emptiness. To just watch your thoughts without expectation or judgement. It sounds boring to some people, a waste of time to others, but please, tell those ego's it's ok, you will return to your ego after you finish.

Practice discipline 3. Non Violence - Seeking order

This is the most challenging step because it is the re engineering of the structure of the ego. Disturbance comes to us because our expectations are not met in life. But sometimes those expectations are at fault, not the event. As a result, we commit a grave act of violence on ourselves and others, expectations that are false. So, this third and most difficult step is to change the way (not what) we think.

Innerwealth means thinking with real expectations. There are five key principles that underpin these real expectations, a sort of filter through which, illusion cannot pass. At first these five principles are challenging, it can take some tough love to cause your ego to let go of false stories and attachments, but it will if you just persist.

The five universal laws of nature are simple, but your ego mind might just kick like a horse when you consider them.

1/ Balance - support and challenge are balanced and you live on the border of both.

2/ Harmony - What you appreciate grows. What you don't appreciate you attract.

3/ Abundance - Nothing is missing it just changes in form.

4/ Growth - Evolve or devolve, about growth you have no choice.

5/ Higher order - There's order in the chaos and someone always sees it more than you.

The skills required in the development of these five ego filters can be challenging. For example; most people think there can be a right without a wrong, a bad something (like global warming) without a good. That fails the first law. Another myth, is that of gratitude. People are so grateful for what they can see benefit in, and want to change the things they call bad. That's not gratitude. Gratitude means not wanting to change anything, appreciation for things as they are. These concepts challenge the constructs of our ego mind. And because we think we are what we think, they cause huge confrontation as we try to save our selves from extinction. (ego loss)

Practice discipline number 4. Mind Control

The final step is the cream on the cake. The final step involves the taming of the mind to work for you, to create what you want and deserve in life.

This final step of mind control involves just four states of mind from which all can flow. Those four states of mind are:

Gratitude

Presence

Certainty

Love

Gratitude

Although we have spoken about gratitude earlier, we have not explored the consequence of ingratitude. Wanting to change, fix, make better can be motivated by many things, but the worst is ingratitude for what is. Sitting looking at your dinner plate, wishing it were different, causes illness no matter what the food. Some people spend a fortune on organic food and then fill their mind with complaints about global warming. Health and gratitude are the same topic, but how can we be thankful for everything?

Maybe the answer lies in the middle path. If there are two sides to everything, (the first law of nature) then surely we will be thankful for one side (the positive) and unthankful for the other side (the negative) the consequence is neutral. Neutral is referred to as "An Open Heart" and this is an amazing state from which to act. Thankful for the gifts that come from the negative and the positive means that in the pain or suffering that comes from any event or circumstance there is good. (please avoid the idea that the reaction to pain, challenge, suffering is the gift - pain takes us somewhere and that is the gift.

Presence

Emotion and presence are enemies in battle. Emotions cannot exist in the NOW. They can only exist when we think about the past, or the future. Fear and guilt. So the emotional person is both dwelling in the past, and hopeful into the future. This turbulence eventually sabotages all they desire. Learning the art of presence comes automatically to those who practice stillness.

When we are not present, our relationships both at home and at work suffer. As a consequence we become forgetful, possibly clumsy and accident prone. Long term lack of presence will result in problems with the nervous system, mental health problems and stress related illness.

Certainty

For most people, hard work and certainty go hand in hand. The average business person might perceive that the harder they work the more they are guaranteed of achieving their goals. A performer and an artist knows better. Surely, discipline and application are keys to positive results from our time and effort, but hard work and stress does not cause any increase in the certainty of the outcome.

Certainty comes through simplicity. Name the four things that, if you did them with absolute diligence on a daily basis, you would achieve your 10 highest priority dreams. For example; my purpose in life is to guide people to love. So my four things to do every day are to; explore, write, share and inspire. If I do these those every day, I can forget the goals, my daily habits will cause them automatically.

Uncertainty comes from the lack of patience, greed, hunger, distraction and dissatisfaction. When you stop wanting, and appreciate what you have, this is the energy that generates the certainty to manifest. Greed makes us reach without discernment, hunger leads us to fulfil our appetite with substitutes, distraction causes us to loose our focus (drop the bone) and dissatisfaction (fear) drives away the energy and support that people want to give us, naturally.

Love

Many people say "do what you love" but they are fooling you. Wisdom is to learn to "Love what you do" - no matter what it is. Love is an unstoppable force - to love, but this force cannot be applied exclusively. The individual who cannot learn to love their circumstance, will forever find cause to run from it either physically or emotionally. Many therapist, healers, yoga teachers, change consultants don't know how to love. They have divided the world into lovable or unlovable. They run to create more of the lovable half and work diligently to eradicate the unlovable half.

What separates us from love is our ego. As we now realize the ego is a complex and most essential part of human nature, without it there'd be a rather emotionless world. It's these emotions, some good some bad, that motivate the average person to get out of bed, donate to charity, compete in business and of course, shoot their neighbour in the head. If you choose to subscribe to good emotions, then you'll just have to accept the presence of the bad ones. There is no half life, with good emotions without bad. Love is the absence of both. A timeless, spaceless place in which authenticity exists. Love therefore is without expectations, and without expectations, we cannot be disturbed, mind, body or heart. This is the resting place of all truth, in the stillness of unconditional love.

Please feel free to share this article in its entirety

Chris Walker

July 2007

http://www.chriswalker.com.au Chris Walker is a world leading change agent, an environmentalist and author of more than 20 books. Born and bred in Australia, he consults to people and organisations throughout the world on improved relationships, health and lifestyle through the application of the Universal laws of Nature. The result he offers is that we stay balanced, share loving relationships, work with passion, enjoy success, and live our personal truth. To learn more about Chris?s work and journeys to Nepal, visit http://www.chriswalker.com.au -- http://www.chriswalker.com.au