Psychology can help you to understand why men and women have a differing reaction when faced with a relationship conflict. When you live together there are bound to be disputes arising from time to time. When the two parties are in conflict, their differing ways of dealing with the conflict can often make matters worse. Marriage counseling can be very useful in this area, as it can help the two parties understand how their partners mind operates.
A study financed by the National Institute of Mental Health illustrated that the majority of couples in the 18 to 21 age bracket, who had only been together a few weeks, avoided intimacy and dependence on their partner. The study concluded that this was due to their fear of being abandoned or rejected. The tests showed higher or lower levels following the way the participants felt about the risk of their partner leaving them. The more secure couples showed the lower levels, as they were less worried at the risk of a separation. In the higher levels the two partners were not only more anxious but showed a greater divergence in their way of handling their fear of being deserted.
It was very interesting to note that the results were very different between the women and the men. Men were found to be more predictable than women in the way they responded psychologically to relationship conflict. There was increased anxiety amongst the men while the only change amongst the women came from the most evasive personalities.
Women tend to want to guide the discussion when they attempt to settle a relationship conflict, and this was born out by the psychological tests. Before the experiment they had higher levels of cortisol, and these levels fell as the discussion progressed... This illustrated that women were more satisfied psychologically when they were able to bring the conflict to a rapid end.
Men take a more secondary role than women when trying to resolve a conflict. Whilst they also wanted the conflict solved, they tried to avoid facing the conflict directly. Concerning the men; those with partners who were more secure than they were, displayed less anxiety. The women showed no difference in their level of anxiety, regardless of security of their male partner.
If ever you decide to seek relationship advice, your first lesson will be about understanding why men and women react differently to a given problem. The research mentioned above will help you realize why men and women behave as they do in a relationship. Using relationship psychology and associated research will help you when having to face a conflict with your partner.
Joe Bisley
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Joe Bisley writes articles about human relationship problems
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