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2012年10月10日 星期三

Relationship Psychology - Does Conflict Affect Men More?


Psychology studies have established that men and women respond to relationship problems in a different way. Difference in opinions resulting to conflicts can always happen while still dating more so during marriage. The resulting situation may vary depending on how each party deals with these. A lot of married couples have sought the help of professional counselors while those who are still on the dating stage turns to asking for relationship advice. Generally, counseling help individuals understand their partner better and confirm our question, does conflict affect men more?

We sometimes wonder does conflict affect men more? A research done through the auspices of National Institute of Mental Health confirmed that majority of people who have been in the relationship for about two months steer clear of being very intimate and becoming too dependent on their partner. The subjects also manifested certain degrees of concern over the prospect of being left by their partner. Individuals who had more self-confident were less anxious about this prospect than the others who have low self esteem. Subsequently, reactions about being dumped differed as well, and were greatly dependent on the subjects' level of self confidence.

The tests on psychology research showed a remarkable difference in how men and women deal with relationship conflicts physiologically. Majority of the men are more transparent in their feelings when undergoing relationship conflicts and shows apparent distress while women have the tendency to keep the problem to themselves and try to act as normal as possible.

Women generally set up the scenario to a dialogue to try to work out the relationship conflict. Psychology studies show that women are the ones who aggressively work to find the solution to conflicts. Women showed increased level of cortisol upon the acknowledgment of the conflict which diminishes at once during the resolution period. They feel more physiologically satisfied if the conflict is being dealt with.

On the other hand, men did not manifest immediate desire to act on resolution of issues. While they too want the problem to be solved, they were unlikely to take the first step to a confrontation. Men whose women partners exhibit more self confidence exhibited lower degrees of worry. Conversely, their partner's level of self-confidence did not change women's anxiety level.

If you decide to go to professional counselors or family therapists, they will surely discuss with you and help you understand the difference in how men and women handle the same situation. The findings of the foregoing study could basically help you understand your partner's reaction to conflict and enable you to be more positive about it and get the answer to does conflict affect men more?




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2012年10月9日 星期二

Relationship Psychology - Does Conflict Have A Greater Effect On Men?


Men and women are different in almost every arena, but especially when it comes to conflict in relationships. In determining why women and men react in such different manners, we can look at relationship psychology. Whether you're married or just dating, there will be times when you won't agree and an argument will ensue. What can make these arguments worse is the manner in which each of them deal with conflict. So how do the genders deal with conflict? More specifically we'll explore does conflict have a greater effect on men?

Several years ago a study done by the National Institute of Mental Health found that couples between 18 and 21 who had been together for less than 6 months avoided intimacy and becoming too dependent on the other person. During this window of time they showed higher levels of anxieties centered around their prospect of being rejected or even abandoned by the mate. The levels of anxiety varied based on how secure the individuals were in themselves. Lower self esteem generated higher anxiety and conversely, higher self esteem yielded less anxiety.

An interesting finding in the testing was how differently the men reacted than the women. Those who were performing the research on relationship psychology with these subjects found that men's reactions to conflict were noticed much easier than the women's. With the vast majority of the men, an increase in the anxiety level was noticed in the midst of conflict. Only the most avoidant women showed significant changes.

During a relationship conflict, women are more apt to resolve things with guided conversation. Relationship psychology studies find them to be the ones who do various things to actively resolve the situation. They may show an increase in their cortisol levels before and also during a confrontation, but these level off almost immediately after the issue.

Men, on the other hand, were much more passive in resolving conflict. Research showed that they wanted the conflict to be resolved quickly, but they weren't in a rush to confront the conflict head on. The men who were with secure women displayed much lower levels of anxiety. Women were not affected either way by the security of their partners.

If you're in a relationship and seeking relationship advice, you should know that men and women react differently. Keeping this in mind will give you insight on how to deal with your mate in the midst of a conflict. Men are more apt to respond to the conflict through the eyes of their anxieties. This uncontrolled anxiety may manifest itself in various ways.




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2012年10月7日 星期日

Does Conflict Affect Men? - More Relationship Psychology


Psychology can help you to understand why men and women have a differing reaction when faced with a relationship conflict. When you live together there are bound to be disputes arising from time to time. When the two parties are in conflict, their differing ways of dealing with the conflict can often make matters worse. Marriage counseling can be very useful in this area, as it can help the two parties understand how their partners mind operates.

A study financed by the National Institute of Mental Health illustrated that the majority of couples in the 18 to 21 age bracket, who had only been together a few weeks, avoided intimacy and dependence on their partner. The study concluded that this was due to their fear of being abandoned or rejected. The tests showed higher or lower levels following the way the participants felt about the risk of their partner leaving them. The more secure couples showed the lower levels, as they were less worried at the risk of a separation. In the higher levels the two partners were not only more anxious but showed a greater divergence in their way of handling their fear of being deserted.

It was very interesting to note that the results were very different between the women and the men. Men were found to be more predictable than women in the way they responded psychologically to relationship conflict. There was increased anxiety amongst the men while the only change amongst the women came from the most evasive personalities.

Women tend to want to guide the discussion when they attempt to settle a relationship conflict, and this was born out by the psychological tests. Before the experiment they had higher levels of cortisol, and these levels fell as the discussion progressed... This illustrated that women were more satisfied psychologically when they were able to bring the conflict to a rapid end.

Men take a more secondary role than women when trying to resolve a conflict. Whilst they also wanted the conflict solved, they tried to avoid facing the conflict directly. Concerning the men; those with partners who were more secure than they were, displayed less anxiety. The women showed no difference in their level of anxiety, regardless of security of their male partner.

If ever you decide to seek relationship advice, your first lesson will be about understanding why men and women react differently to a given problem. The research mentioned above will help you realize why men and women behave as they do in a relationship. Using relationship psychology and associated research will help you when having to face a conflict with your partner.

Joe Bisley

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Joe Bisley writes articles about human relationship problems




2012年9月23日 星期日

Get Your Ex Back Advice - Understanding the Psychology of Relationship Conflict


Looking at the basic psychology of relationship conflict and break ups can help plan your next moves to get your ex back. All relationships, whether you are dating or married, have periods of difficulty and arguments. How you deal with those difficult times will determine whether your relationship stays together and grows or whether it ends.

One thing is very clear, men and women do react differently to conflict within a relationship and after a relationship breaks up.

A study funded by the National Institute of Mental Health showed that many young couples who had only been together for a few months tended to avoid being dependent on the other person. It also discovered that the individuals exhibited high levels of anxiety over being rejected or abandoned.

What was really interesting about this study was how different the results were between men and women. When it comes to relationship conflict psychology, the reaction in men was far more noticeable. Men showed a higher level of anxiety when faced with conflict within the relationship.

What the researchers found was that women are more likely to face the conflict head on and try to get the problem solved. However, men were much more passive. While they wanted to resolve any conflict, they did not want to face the situation head on and grasp the bull by the horns.

Other papers, published very recently in The Journal of Health and Social Behavior, also showed that young men put much more value on the quality of a relationship than women. Women were more concerned about whether they are in a relationship or not rather than how consistently happy it is.

They found that when a relationship broke down, women are more likely to feel depressed and seek solace and comfort from their network of friends. Men, however, were more likely to express their feelings through substance abuse.

The researchers concluded that this is because men rely on their partner more to validate their feelings of self-worth and self-identity. While men do have close friends, the friendship relationship tends to be competitive rather than nurturing.

How does this research tie in with saving your relationship or getting your ex back?

While we are all individual and not simply numbers and statistics, the relationship psychology studies show that men and women have different needs within a relationship.

Men - understand that your girlfriend or wife wants to be in a relationship (even if it isn't perfect!), have a close social network of supportive friends and would prefer to meet conflict challenges head on. Knowing these basic psychological facts about women in relationships can help you resolve your relationship problems and get your ex back.

Ladies - understand that your boyfriend or husband is relying on you as his main source of nurturing. He needs you to admire him and his skills to validate his feelings of self-worth. Remember though that men generally do not like to tackle emotional conflict head on. If you want to get your ex back you need to approach him with a softly-softly attitude.

When looking for get your ex back advice and guides choose a system that works with human behaviour and psychology rather than against it.




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2012年9月19日 星期三

Does Conflict Affect Men More? Relationship Psychology


When it comes to conflicts and relationships it is psychology, or the way one thinks, that will help us understand why men and women react differently to conflict in a relationship. All couples argue from time to time, the problem is how these two people deal with the conflict. A married couple will usually turn to a marriage councilor while those who are not married may seek help from relationship experts. The councilor is there to help the couple understand each other, to help the couple understand how the other party thinks.

A study which was funded by the National Institute of Mental Health showed that most couples between the age of 18 and 21 who had been together for only a couple of months usually avoided intimacy and were dependent on the other partner. This age group showed high levels of anxiety when faced with rejection. These tests also showed different degrees of anxiety over being abandoned. It was also found that those who were more secure in themselves had lower levels of anxiety than others who were not as secure. It was also found that the way these people dealt with the anxiety and thought of abandonment changed their levels of anxiety.

What was interesting was how different the results were in both men and women. It was found that the reaction in men was more noticeable. In the majority of men the anxiety levels increased while the majority of women showed very little change.

Women are the peace makers and would rather resolve the conflict in a relationship, they are the ones that actively work to get the situation resolved. It showed that a woman's cortisol levels increased before and during the conflict but then dropped significantly. It was found that women found it more physiologically satisfying to get the conflict over as quickly as possible.

It showed that men were more passive in resolving conflict. It showed that although men also wanted to resolve the conflict they were not eager to confront the conflict head on. The men who had partners that were more secure showed lower levels of anxiety. It was interesting to note that women showed no change in their levels in anxiety whether their partners were secure or not.

Whether you go to family therapy or psychologist, their job is to help you understand how differently men and women react to conflict in a relationship. It is important to understand why men and women react differently to situations in a relationship. This type of research will help couples deal with conflict better.




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2012年8月3日 星期五

Conflict Management Skills Important For Women's Health


In my practice I find over and over again that people are afraid of conflict. So much so, that when someone does something that goes up their proverbial nose, they don't say anything, withdraw, count to ten, get over it, or just ignore what just happened. Of course, conflict that is not resolved and goes underground so to speak, often comes out with nasty spats at the other person or even in verbal, physical, emotional, or mental violence. Conflict seems to be the big ugly beast that threatens people's whole being.

However, no matter how much people struggle with conflict, there is now very strong evidence that you better learn how to deal with conflict. Researcher Dr. Eaker* has found that women who do not express their feelings about a conflict situation are four times more likely to die prematurely than women who express their feelings. Men who remain silent and don't express their feelings in a conflict situation seem not to be affected by that.

It is obvious that suppressing feelings has a very strong impact on women's physical health. Not only that, it also seems to contribute significantly to depression and other psychological problems.

What seems to have the biggest impact on people's health is not just having a conflict or an argument, but the way in which people fight. Women are most affected when their partners use critical, hurtful, and disrespectful language. Men on the other hand are not so affected by the style of a fight. They show a strong decline in health when the conflict or the fight is about control.

It seems to be very clear that fighting fair and being effective in dealing with conflict is not only important for having a good relationship, it is also critical for one's physical well-being.

*Eaker, E.D., Sullivan, L.M., Kelly-Hayes, M., D'Agostino, R.B., Sr., and Benjamin, E.J. (2007). Marital status, marital strain and the risk of coronary heart disease or total mortality: The Framingham Offspring Study. Psychosomatic Medicine, 69, 509-513.




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