Your Holistic Health Pyramid

Holistic health embraces optimum functioning in five key areas of well-being. These are spiritual, emotional, relationships, health and fitness and finances/career. Depletion in any one area pulls down the holistic health of the entire person, because each area of our life relates and is interdependent on the others to some intrinsic extent.

Let's have some fun now:

On an A4 size sheet of paper draw a three equal-sided pyramid. Now draw four equi-distant horizontal lines inside the pyramid. In the top section write 'spiritual'. Underneath that, and filling each subsequent space, write emotional, relationships, health and fitness, and finally on the lowest level, put finances and career. Now you have a visual of your holistic health portfolio. You can set out to examine each level to see your present position of wellness or need. Where you find you would most like to adjust and upgrade, choose that level to work on first.

Ask simple questions to assess where you are in relation to each specific level. These are just some sample questions you can ask as you explore each level of your holistic health pyramid. The aim is to broaden your understanding and uplift your self-esteem and expertise at each level of your pyramid.

For spirituality you might ask: Who am I? Where did I come from? Where am I going? Why am I here?

Is understanding my deeply spiritual aspects a priority for me now? Would expanding my experience and understanding of myself spiritually, empower me to move ahead in the other levels? Which specific spiritual experience will I pursue and try to understand more fully? How can I develop and expand my consciousness in this area of spirituality?

Move on to the emotional level. Do you pay heed to your intuition? Do you allow your feelings to show you your deepest desires? Do you suppress your emotions through fear of becoming vulnerable? How do you feel about who you think you are? Go even deeper and get real with your questions.

On to relationships. Who do you want to be, as you interact with other people? Do you seek personal validation through what others think of you? How empowered does this make you feel? Do you try to give rather than take in your relationships? Again, go deeper and get real with your questions.

With health and fitness, you will know more easily where you stand. Through your body you interact with this physical world. How important is it that you keep your body in optimum shape and fitness? Do you eat fresh and healthy foods that fuel your body for optimum vitality or do you choose heavy, lifeless foods that weigh you down?

Finally, finances and career. Explore what money and career mean to you in terms of self appreciation and self identity rather than in dollar amounts. Do you need money to feel valuable? How much do you charge for your services? Is this your true worth? Think deeply about the control money has over your life. You may choose to loosen its grip.

Life is fundamentally a game, and you are here to experience all the drama and excitement, the fun and challenges of that game. It's about meeting each challenge as it comes along and enjoying the thrill of the game experience. Create your life for balance and true holistic health and therefore holistic wealth, and discover within, your own magnificent self.

Marie Barrett is an author and teacher of dynamic spirituality. Through her book, Holistic Wealth, A Guide to Creative and Joyful Living, and many other writings, she teaches how to integrate spirituality into every area of your life, to create a happy and joy-filled experience. http://www.holisticwealthcreation.com. See her blog at http://www.holisticwealthcreation.com/blog.

How To Improve & Define Your Relationships

Everyone has relationships with anyone they interact with, even briefly. It might be the clerk at the grocery store or the gas station attendant, or it might be your significant other. Have you ever given any significant thought to the type of relationships that you have with these people, or how to improve that relationship if it is not up to the level that you desire?

First of all, you need to determine how you appear to those people. Try to put yourself in their position and look at yourself in the environment where they would typically see you and interact with you. What type of person would they describe you to be? Would they think you are sour on life and always negative? Would they think you are full of life and energy and always upbeat? The image that you portray to them will speak volumes about the type of relationship you have with them.

More importantly, how is your relationship with the people in your life who are most important to you? If you have a spouse or significant other, the same rules and logic apply - how do you appear to them? Do they see you as typically grumpy, tired, and sour on life in general, or do they see you as the full of life, positive, and energetic person that attracted them to you in the first place? Has that relationship changed over the years? If so (and it almost certainly has over time), what steps are you taking to regain that positive outlook and mentality that got your love relationship off to a good start in the first place? If your answer to that question is "nothing", you unfortunately are not alone according to current studies, but at the same time, be aware that the particular relationship that we are talking about is not going to get better. In fact, chances are excellent that the relationship will, in all likelihood, continue to deteriorate.

On the other hand, you may be in relationships where you do not want to be. Are you in an abusive relationship? Again, studies indicate that an abusive relationship is much more common than most people think, where some estimates indicate that an abusive relationship exists in an astounding 1 in 8 marital or spousal relationships. Note that the word "abusive" does not necessarily mean physical abuse. If physical abuse is part of your relationship, you are encouraged to report it to your local police since that is not tolerated. But it is up to YOU to report it.

But the vast majority of abusive relationships do not include physical abuse. Rather, it is the emotional and mental abuse, which can be every bit as bad. Maybe that person takes every opportunity to cut you down or belittle you, whether in your home or out in public. Maybe that person has developed some habits that they have taken up for the primary reason that they know for a fact that it bothers you. Or maybe things have gotten to the point where the two of you cannot even calmly discuss something like the weather without the discussion digressing into a shouting match about some totally unrelated topic.

In a marital relationship, both parties share the responsibility equally for the welfare and continued health of that relationship. It cannot be done by only one partner, regardless of how badly that one partner may want a healthy relationship - it is a two way street. The pitfall that many couples fall into is that the responsibility for the health of the relationship is left primarily to one partner, and although that may work in the very short term, such an arrangement is doomed to inevitable failure.

Be aware that ANY relationship you have is a two way street. You and the other person share the responsibility of the health of that relationship, as well as any compromises that either of both of you need to make for the longevity of your relationship. At the end of the day, it all comes down to how important that relationship is to BOTH of you, not either one of you individually.

Jon is a computer engineer who maintains web sites on a variety of topics based on his knowledge and experience. You can read more about Relationships Advice at his web site at Relationship Types.

Relationships Over the Years - Doomed, Or Can They Be Salvaged?

Relationships are complex and can be so unforgiving. So many outside factors affect the way we feel about our self: aging, health, finances, career, friendships, family, loss, our physical appearance, whether we are living our dreams, or if there is some unrequited love or unfulfilled dreams and goals. Then there is the fear of aging and of dying. For many men, the loss of income, lessened sexual capability, retirement, and the sense of no longer being productive can weigh heavily upon them.

Lately, I have been discovering a problem, that affects many people, especially some men, when they reach their mid-50's, 60's and older. Many men have habitually avoided facing their emotional problems by spending money, having sex with their current partner or wife, having affairs, drinking alcohol, taking drugs, gambling, or even escaping through work, sports or male friendships. The media portrays sexy, scantily clad young beautiful women - everywhere. Many men feel that they are being deprived if they don't have access to such women. And many men do have access to these women at least visually and verbally through internet pornography sites and phone call chats.

When men get older and they no longer have the sexual prowess or financial means to escape their problems - and - if they stopped drinking and stopped taking drugs and they no longer have their habitual escapes - they have to face their emotional problems that they have always avoided, stemming from early childhood. Many men are not willing to do that because it might invalidate the way they have lived their life for so many years. Even if they go for therapy, they may not fully let themselves reveal their inner truth.

So what happens in a relationship? One person, usually the man, has not faced some underlying problem: fear, insecurity, shame, self-doubt, loss of self-esteem, inadequacy - but he has always had a way to mask his fear by escaping into some habitual pattern or activity. And then that previous escape is not availalbe. So - he blames his partner or his wife. She seems to be the cause of everything. Instead of showing her the appreciation and tenderness she craves, he becomes increasingly distant and insensitive.

Many women have tolerated lot of stuff over the years. But they had many escapes - children, friendships, careers, shopping, decorating, interests, physical activities. In the younger years, the partner or husband may have been very sexually attracted to her, so he showed his love with sexual attention. If he earned good money, he also showed his love with money and maybe gifts and vacations.

But then, as they get older, he feels less sexual, he feels less attracted to her, she feels less sexual, she feels less attraction and less tolerance for him. And then the finances are tighter and maybe he has retired and he's home more. Also, as we get older, we realize that our lives are finite. Both men and women may be reevaluating their lives, thinking about what could have been and how they want the rest of their lives to be.

An existential dilemma often occurs - a questioning of one's purpose here on earth and whether or not one is fulfilling that purpose. And not everyone even realizes this is happening. They may just feel depressed, neglected, misunderstood, deprived, lonely, anxious, confused or sad.

Just to clarify a bit more, I was NOT generalizing to ALL men or ALL women over 50. I was making an observation that many men and women, as they get older, often in their 50's and 60's, IF THEY HAVE NOT FACED SOME EARLY CHILDHOOD ISSUES and have spent years finding ways to escape facing the issues - then, when they are older and those old familiar escapes no longer work, they can be difficult to be close to in a relationship. Many men and women, on the other hand, do grow and learn from life, relationships and experiences and become better at communicating over the years. And some never really ever had those kinds of problems.

But if the relationship is not broken, is not seen as a huge problem to either partner, then

there is no need to fix it. Even if the communication has never been great, if the relationship works and both people feel okay, then there's no need to stress about it.

And when the communication is a problem, sometimes just having other people to talk to or activities that you are passionate about, can keep you feeling okay. Not everyone wants to work so hard to improve years of poor communication. And not everyone wants to break up an imperfect relationship - because there may be many other benefits and a lifestyle that is okay. And - the grass is not always greener. Settling for the problems you already know can sometimes be much better than seeking a new relationship with a whole new set of unexpected problems.

If you truly love someone you want to help them "with the demons that haunt them," but that depends upon how skilled you might be and also how much their particular 'demons" trigger your own "demons" or insecurities. And, we often are attracted to partners who match our own issues, so it becomes difficult to help the other person. That's where counseling can sometimes help to sort through the interactions. But it does require both people to be involved.

For someone talented, skilled, or passionately involved with work, career, artistic endeavors, large scale trainings and seminars, or special projects, the work, the mission or the artistic expression might take precedence over attempting to deal with another person's problems. It would probably take a really secure, creative and artistic person to fit into such a dedicated person's lifestyle - and the partner may have to always remain in second place to other priorities.

Life is a precious gift. Relationships are also precious. Each of us has a huge effect upon our partner, even if they don't appear to be affected by us. This is where relationship counseling and life coaching can really make a difference. Self-renewal, self-acceptance, self-acknowledgement and compassion for our self and our partner can bring two distant, non-communicating people back together again.

Dr. Erica Goodstone has helped thousands of men, women, couples, and groups to develop greater awareness of the issues in their relationships and their lives, to overcome and alleviate stressors and discords, and revitalize their relationships and their own mind-body-spirit connection. Dr. Goodstone is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor, Licensed Marriage Therapist and Board Certified Sex Therapist. Former professor of health and physical education for over two decades, Dr. Goodstone taught courses in health education and alternative approaches, stress management, yoga (including relaxation, breathing, meditation, guided imagery, chanting, hatha yoga postures, and yogic nutrition), as well as many different physical activity and dance courses. In addition, she has trained in various body therapy methods and somatic body psychotherapy (combining talk with touch). Her main methods are The Rubenfeld Synergy Method, Polarity Therapy, and Somatoemotional Release. Dr. Goodstone can be contacted through her web sites at http://www.DrEricaWellness.com and http://www.sexualreawakening.com

The Health and Wellness Benefits of Being In Love

If you are afraid to love, here are some few sensible reasons that might make you change your mind or heart. Years of research have shown that there is a good symbiotic relationship between health and wellness and being madly and hopelessly in love. Studies have proven that married or committed people have fewer doctors' appointment than those people living alone.

One sensible explanation with this is that people under the marriage vows or is beaten by the love bug are more likely to take care of themselves. They are more conscious about their hygiene and they have someone to look out for them. Not being prone to depression or any substance abuse and have less anxiety are also some of the health benefits of love.

Since isolation is one of the greatest influences of being depressed then being with someone truly helps prevent the person from sinking into the dark abyss of desolation. Not only that, it has been proven that being in love is truly good for the heart, literally speaking- happily married women are less likely to have a heart attack compared to their single sisters.

And some more good news to new lovers out there, the more sex you do the better. Men who have sex two or more time a week lessen their risk for cardiac arrest by half. For couples who have a passion for kissing, you'd be glad to know that kissing has its health and wellness benefits, too.

Kissing increases saliva production that can minimize the bacteria that cause gum disease. We have heard a lot of good advantages of a hug, this time it has been proven that hugging can help prolong the life of your partner this is because hugs can lower blood pressure and stimulates the release of oxytocin or the bonding hormone in the body.

If you are afraid to love because of the pain that you will encounter, think again. It has been validated that being inlove strengthens your tolerance in pain and can help you manage your stress appropriately. Actually, it's not at all surprising that the people who are in a loving and happy relationship outlive others who are lonely (not necessarily alone), this goes to show that if you feel good inside the health and wellness benefits follows.

So if you are a person who is very much conscious about health and wellness, learn to love deeply and sincerely. If you want to live longer then learn to love harder.

The author of this article, Ruth Purple, is a Relationship Expert who has been successfully coaching individuals and couples in their relationships. Get a copy of her ebook and become a Male Magnet. Alternatively click here for Amazon's Kindle Edition.

What Is Unconditional Love and Its Role in Our Relationships?

What is unconditional love? Simple as it may appear, it is perhaps the most misunderstood & misused phrase in our relationships. Unconditional love is a benevolent feeling that emerges from deeper level of our Consciousness (our life coach) for all of creation- rocks, plants, animals, human beings, etc., regardless of their shape, size, color, nature, or actions in the nature. It is because every one of us has the same Universal Consciousness that is pervading through all life & nonlife forms connecting all of creation to ONE source.

Observe nature & you will find Universal Consciousness expresses Itself differently through each entity in creation depending upon what "clothing" it's wearing and what role it's playing in the nature. Thus the Universal Consciousness is conditioned by the "clothing" it is wearing. Once we understand this truth, living with unconditional love for all forms & beings becomes not only easy but brings peace to us as well.

What about role of unconditional love in our relationships with beings and creation around us? Well, let me try to answer this by telling an interesting mythological story.

A very long time ago a king cobra snake ruled good middle portion of the forest by using his wits & scary tactics. Most people & animals were scared of him and tried to take different trails to avoid confronting him. One day the snake overheard some people travelling through the forest about a great saint. Out of curiosity, snake decided to go and listen to what this saint had to say. Snake didn't want to create any trouble around so many people so he hid himself between the rocks where he could still clearly hear the saint. The saint spoke truths about of Universal Consciousness, unconditional love, and peace. The message resonated with snake and from that day forward he decided to change his behavior towards his fellow beings. The snake started to approach all passing through with politeness & affection but much to his dismay he met with rejection and even got stones thrown at him. Injured, bruised, & with tears in skin, snake was lying on the side of a trail when the saint just happen to pass through there. Saint asked the snake what happened. After listening to the snake's story, saint clarified that first you must know who you are before jumping into showing unconditional love to just anyone.

The story makes a point, even though unconditional love resonates at our consciousness level, we can not relate unconditionally at the physical level. First we must know our own conditioning, what "clothing" are we wearing, and then be aware of what "clothing" a person or creation in front of us is wearing. So while the Loving can and should be unconditional, the Relating at physical level can not be unconditional. If we do not follow this nature's rule we will be battered, bruised, abused, and left in misery in our relationships.

One Notable Exception- This rule doesn't apply to a Self-realized person. Such a person has merged & become one with consciousness. His thoughts & actions are no longer conditioned by his own (ego) body mind & intellect. Loving & relating for such a person has transcended all physical conditioning & is seen & felt by others simply as pure consciousness. Examples are Christ, Buddha, & a few others.

So before we reach the Self-realized state, what can we do? As long as we engage in life through our physical body, mind, and intellect, we see ourselves as separate & distinct from others and our outward actions are conditioned with our desires and ego. Inadvertently, this makes the relating with the outer physical world conditional as well. Therefore, for now we must utilize our Unconditional Love (life coach) to guide our actions to be selfless and harmless to others and environment around us. As a result, one can imagine harmonious relationships, peace, and promoting health & wellness in their lives.

Rakesh would like to invite you to check out more articles on wellness, health, health tips, natural home remedies, healthy relationship advice etc. If you would find the information on the site beneficial, I am sure you would like your friends to know about it. Please inform your friends about this site and leave me with your input, thoughts & comments on my blog site. Thanks! Be Well.

http://www.promotehealthwellness.com

Following is a direct link to an article What is Role of Religion in our Health & Wellness provide more Information on Universal Consciousness mentioned in the article above How Religion Benefits our Health and Wellness?

The Relationship You Are Searching For

Relationship expert John Gottman shares, "Successful couples are those who are in touch with each other's emotional and psychological worlds." Indeed, a relationship can be no healthier than the emotional health of the weakest partner. Unless both parties strive for psychological maturity in themselves while seeking to enter into their partner's world, challenges will amass.

Many people think that time apart is the answer, thus separation is often the means couple's seek to bring healing to their relationship. However, this is a method that is built on sinking sand. Indeed, 80% of marriages that enter into a separation end in divorce.

Rather than avoiding intimacy, couples need to pull together to more deeply appreciate the makeup of their partner. One of the most destructive things to a marriage is unrealistic expectations. When two people enter into a committed relationship with the idea that love is all they need, or that their future spouse will change, they are dooming the marriage before it starts. Taking time to get to know the person you are marrying is essential, and once the rings are exchanged this needs to be an ongoing process.

When you understand your partner's needs and how to meet them at the deepest level, you will find your passion reignited. Two things to keep in mind: you can't treat what you don't see, and hurt people hurt people.

By failing to properly see areas of hurt and places in need of repair, the problems only grow. Left untreated, hurting couples continue hurting one another until one of two things happens, they divorce or they detach.

While some 50% of marriages end in divorce, countless others are simply void of passion. By looking at couples in this state you would never know there is a problem, because they don't fight. The reality is they gave up the fight long ago, and settled for a relationship without feeling. Couples in this scenario drift away from one another until they repeat the common refrain, "I just don't know you anymore."

Most couples find themselves in counseling after they have hit rock bottom, which is one of the reasons marriage counseling is often unsuccessful. Sadly, this becomes ammunition for the couple's intent to separate, falsely believing they gave it a try and that it just can't be fixed.

Let me share two new beliefs that can help in times of crisis or during the drifting that so easily overtakes us in a busy world. Practicing these principles can dramatically improve the health of your connection.

The first is from John Gottman, who says that after years of research he uncovered a clear correlation between positive and negative interactions in the healthiest marriages he observed. The ratio is 5:1 positives to negatives. In short, it takes five positive moments to overcome one negative moment. Many couples have been horse trading for so long, just aiming for 50-50, they have lost the intimate understanding of what it means to give to another without asking for anything in return. The Bible says, "The greatest of these is love." Practicing love that is not seeking anything in return is the height of maturity, and the perfect ingredient for a happy marriage.

The second tool is from Tim Clinton who stresses the daily walk where you realize that if you can live well for one day, then you can make it for two, then three or more. With a belief that what you did in one moment you can accomplish once again, your actions will begin to change and your relationship will as well.

A former pastor, Tobin holds both a B.A. and an M.A. in theology. Having traveled widely in the Marine Corps and as a graduate student, Tobin has spent the past 15 years gathering some of the world's most powerful life-changing truths. He's the author of The Life That Is Really Life: How Biblical Truth Can Transform Your Spiritual, Emotional, Physical and Relational Health, available to http://www.twominutesermon.com.

Depression and Relationships - The Good News About Feeling Bad

"...I've been depressed since my baby was born..."

"...I've been unhappy for years, but it got even worse when I lost my job..."

"...I keep thinking that if I'm just strong enough I can just get over it..."

Depression is often seen as an individual problem. But new research shows that in many cases, the best treatment for depression might be improving your relationship.

The Negative Spiral: Depression and Relationships

Depression, no matter what it's cause, is hard on relationships. For Ana, one of my clients, it started when she lost her job. She was bothered that Nick, her husband, was now the sole provider for their family. She wanted to contribute too. And the loss of meaningful work in her life took a toll on her self-esteem. Nick tried to cheer her up by pointing out her skills and abilities. But to Ana it felt like he didn't understand her inner struggle, and she got frustrated. She told Nick she needed some "space". Eventually Nick felt shut out and alone, and stopped trying. Ana felt alone with her moods and even more misunderstood.

This pattern is a common one. It's hard to know a loved one is depressed, and at some point most people will try to encourage and inspire them. But the person who feels depressed is often caught up in a complex and confusing mix of negative thoughts and feelings. Support, whether it's "cheering up" or helping out more, can start to feel like pressure and disapproval. Depression is often a mix of sadness and anger, plus guilt for not being able to "snap out of it". In a relationship, eventually neither person feels effective, and both feel depressed.

It's not only that depression affects relationships. The quality of your relationship is also a strong predictor of whether you will feel depressed. Distressed relationships create depression; good relationships buffer you from it. When a relationship is going well, most people feel appreciated, supported, and loved. When a relationship is distressed, most feel frustrated, anxious, and depressed. We respond to each other's moods in many ways. According to Michael Yapko, "our brains change in measurable ways in response to other people....depression is contagious (1).

A Growing Problem

Depression has become a worldwide problem. The World Health Organization estimates depression to be the fourth leading cause of suffering worldwide, and rising. A national study found that depression affects about 9% of the U.S. Population each year (2). Less than half of these people seek treatment, and most of those who do use medication. The possibility of a fast and easy cure has appeal. But while medication helps some people, recent research suggests that drugs commonly used to treat depression are about as effective as a placebo. Clearly new approaches are needed.

A Positive Spiral: Your Relationship can Improve Your Mood

While distressed relationships can fuel a downward spiral into depression, caring relationships can create a newer, positive cycle. This happened for Ana and Nick. As Ana understood that Nick's attempts to cheer her up were coming from a place of caring and concern, she felt more supported by him. The more Nick understood her struggle, the more he felt more motivated to help. During five months of counseling, I helped them create new, positive communication patterns that helped both of them feel more appreciated and cared for. They were able to share feelings on a deeper level than they had before and spent more time together. Even before Ana found a new job, they felt more like they were working as a team.

Small Steps

Small steps to build closeness can make a big difference in both your relationship and your mood. Here are a few ideas to get started:

Practice appreciation: Find a way to appreciate your partner in one small way every day. I ask my clients to keep an "appreciation journal" -- a small notepad located where both people will see it every day.



Practice having fun: Create moments of fun together every day. Cook dinner together, perhaps, or sip tea together before going to bed. Do something that makes you laugh. Get physical - take a walk, dance, or hug.



Focus on what matters most: Everyone has habits that can be annoying to someone else - one partner is messier, or less organized, or chronically late, or doesn't follow up on phone calls. Understand the



Couples Counseling helps many people reduce depression and increase intimacy (3). A counselor can provide a safe place to talk about difficult feelings; help both partners feel respected and understood; and help clarify and change stuck relationship patterns.

People in positive, supportive relationships recover more quickly from illness and trauma, have better immune functioning and physical health, and have more rewarding family lives. It's becoming clear that depression is more than an individual problem. It also affects, and is effected by, your relationship. Making positive changes in your relationship might be one of the best things you can do for your mood...and your health.

(1) Michael Yapko. (2009) Depression is Contagious. New York: Free Press.

(2) National Comorbidity Study, University of Michigan, 1998. U.S. Population ages 15-54.

(3) Johnson and Greenberg. 1985; Dessaulles, A., Johnson, S.M. & Denton, W. (2003) The treatment of clinical depression in the context of marital distress. American Journal of Family Therapy, 31, 345-353

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Pat LaDouceur, MFT helps people build great relationships. She helps couples solve problems around sexuality, affairs, parenting, money, work overload, and emotional distance. She is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with an office near Berkeley, CA.