Building Trust in a Relationship in Seven Steps

Trust is perhaps the most basic and yet most necessary element of a successful relationship. It is only when we are able to fully trust our partner and that they are able to fully trust us that we are truly safe and happy. It is easy to get caught up in sensual chemistry, commons interests, that "magic:" that TV and the movies tell us we needs to have when in fact, predictability, routine, and having things we can count on are much more important to the health of a relationship. The seven suggestions that follow will help you to identify if your relationship is a good one and if not, how to make your relationship successful. What follows are seven steps that will help you to build trust in a relationship.

The first thing to look at is consistency. How consistent are you in your relationship? How about your partner? Can you count on each other? Are you there for each other day to day in consistent ways? Romance and excitement are nice adornments, but day to day routine and consistent expectations contribute to a feeling of safety. Being reliable on a day to day basis will build a relationship based on trust.

The next thing you need to pay attention to are communication skills. How well do you deliver your intended message to your partner and them to you? Do your words match your facial expressions? Does your body language match what you are saying? Also, is your intended message being received? Most disagreements in a relationship occur due to a misunderstanding. It isn't the toothpaste cap that is the issue; it is typically an underlying communication mishap. You and your partner need to be able to trust each other's words, to have complete surety that what is being said is exactly what is intended. When your words match your body language, when you say what you mean, you will build trust in a relationship.

Believing in yourself, believing in your partner and in each other's competence as human beings is crucial to a relationship built on trust. If there are aspects of your partner that you are not comfortable with, a gentle and honest discussion about your insecurities is far better than silence, fear and resentment for building trust in a relationship. Finding your partner's strengths and then noticing them with compliments and praise creates a feeling of safety and acceptance in their part. This will, in turn, come back to you. If your partner does something you don't like or is inadequate at something that is important to you, a loving and accepting conversation, while perhaps difficult, will become the base of a loving and trusting relationship.

Complete honesty is imperative in any successful relationship. The fourth step you must take is learning and practicing how to be truthful with your partner. You cannot build trust in a relationship if you are keeping secrets. Secrecy of any kind will destroy the trust in a relationship. Being honest and open can seem basic and easy but it requires intention. The truth will always be revealed and the truth will always set you free. Keeping a secret puts barrier between you and your partner. Secrets require energy to keep and more lies to maintain. This is time and energy you could be putting into your relationship. No matter how difficult it may seem, an honest and open relationship will always be a trusting relationship.

Good communication has already been identified a necessary part of building trust in a relationship but the fifth step, communicating your needs takes this to the next level. It can be uncomfortable to share your needs, especially early on in a relationship. But we get our needs met whether we express them or not and often in unhealthy ways. In order to keep solid in your relationship and build trust it is necessary to share your needs, physical, emotional and social with your partner. You must also be willing to hear your partner's needs and try to meet them. Making your girlfriend or boyfriend guesses what you need or what you are upset about creates tension and resentment which will get in the way of building trust in a relationship. Expressing your needs does not make you selfish but rather self aware and this will go a long way in being able to trust your partner.

The Sixth Step is to learn to say no. It is human nature to want to please others, but when you are putting some else's need and wants ahead of yours all the time it can have a negative effect. When you say yes and actually mean no then you send a conflicted message that will make your partner uncomfortable. He/she needs to know that you mean what you say. It is a good thing when your partner voices his or her needs but you don't need to say yes to everything. Saying no when you need to will help your partner see who you are and respect you because you are laying down boundaries. A partner cannot respect you if you never say no. Standing your ground, when appropriate, and seeing your partner do the same creates a climate of give and take and will help to build trust in a relationship.

Step number seven is all about you. You must always continue to grow and stretch as a human being. Anything that is alive needs constant nurturing and attention and is always growing and changing. By continually bettering yourself and allowing and encouraging your partner to do the same you become two stronger halves of your whole relationship. You must also continually nurture the relationship as its own living entity, separate from the two of you. Like a river, there are times when the water slows and gets murky. It widens and slows, the bottom disappears. Eventually, to maintain health, the river becomes narrow and turbulent. The water flows over rocks and tumbles down waterfalls. Your relationship will do the same and while the rocky parts can feel uncomfortable, the cleanest water is just after a waterfall. Acknowledging these aspects of a relationship and weathering them together will build trust in a relationship.

Watch this video to learn more about how to build trust, how to get your ex back and How to get your boyfriend back.