Footprints In Cyberspace - Are You Following Bad Advice From False Gurus?

Grab your favorite beverage and get ready to have your life and business changed for the better, starting right now. This article is about Internet Marketing with a consience, and I have some advice for you that you will either completely agree with, or you may call me a "goodie two shoe" marketer", whatever that is...

One of my favorite sayings is: "Be wary of giving advice, wise men don't need it, and fools won't heed it". Obviously I must be a fool, because I try to advise people in the hopes of breaking through some mental barriers and changing a life. However, this article is meant to inspire you to greater heights with your business using some of the sagest advice I've ever heard.

There is a wealth of knowledge to be gleaned from the religious texts of this world. There is one story (parable) that strikes me as relevant to the philosophy of marketing with integrity and that is the story of the Footprints in the Sand. I will paraphrase the story to avoid mis-statements and will strive to keep the general message clear.

In the parable of Footprints in the Sand a person sees his life as footprints in the sand. When times were good, and thing were going well, there were 2 sets of footprints. One was the man's footprints, and the other was his Ally (again, paraphrasing here). At times there was only 1 set of footprints in the sand, and this represents the tough times in the man's life when he experienced strife and pain. The man said to his Ally, "Why is it that when times went bad for me there was only 1 set of footprints in the sand? Why did you abandon me when things were going poorly? I thought you were my Ally!" His Ally responded, "it was during those times of your greatest need and your greatest pain that I carried you...that's why there is only 1 set of footprints in the sand".

When times are tough, it seems like your friends disappear and your calls don't get answered. When times are tough it seems like you are all alone and with nobody to lean on for support. When you're slugging it out in the trenches trying to find what works for your business and your family members are telling you to stop wasting your time with internet marketing, you are not alone! It's times like this when you know who your real friends are and that your greatest Ally has never left you, ever.

What can your greatest Ally be with regards to doing business online? Integrity can be your closest Ally, if you follow this way of thinking. Integrity begets self-esteem and these 2 Allies (integriy and self-esteem) will be there with you and for you through the toughest of times, even when everyone and every thing seems to have abandoned you.

Now, this article is about marketing with integirty, which makes me want to dispel a few myths that are widely propagating my internet marketing gurus. Have you ever heard the old marketing adage "Fake It 'til You Make It"? It's probably one of the worst pieces of marketing advice I have ever heard.That's the advice many gurus and coaches are giving their close friends who start Internet marketing. They tell their underlings or mentoring students you must position yourself as an expert in order to be looked up to as a knowledgeable person in the field of XYZ, whatever it is they're selling.

This makes sense on the outset, because the "newbies" look up to the gurus. The weak admire the strong. The unhappy see the happy folks as having the "secret" The dumb kids in class think the smart kids know everything about everything. People look to the alleged experts for advice, but are they getting expert advice? Here's a common example of something that happens every day:

People join network marketing companies for opportunities thinly disguised as products for sale. The typical scenario with most network marketing companies, especially the wealth and health-related ones, is that they say, "we have great products here that really work....but you could attain health and wealth if you promote the opportunity, too". That is rubbish! Try the products and see if they work to achieve integrity with your marketing. Don't sell the dream, sell the reality (albeit with an emphasis on WIIFM, what's in it for me).

Before promoting a product, find out if they work for you. Did they actually help you? If so, enjoy marketing that opportunity with integrity. Your enthusiasm will shine through and your optimism will increase your sales. You will become an Internet marketing success simply by having some integrity. However, if you "Fake It 'til You Make it", then you're following what everyone else does. You are a false prophet, guru, marketer, or whatever you want to call yourself. If you follow this bad advice, you join the incestuous world of the blind leading the blind.

I also predict that you will end up a very dissatisfied person and marketer, if you follow this way of thinking. Will you really enjoy the type of success that comes with selling the un-reviewed and untested product/dream? I guess you could if you're at rationalizing your behavior. Just remember that karma is going to take a big bite out of your rear end if you follow this no-integrity marketing philosophy.

Do you have integrity?

You will become a larger person in a spiritual sense if you do...
You will become more successful if you do
You will separate yourself from other businesses if you do.

Do not "Fake It 'til You Make It"... and do not take this piece of advice. There's no integrity in it.

This brings me to the next piece of "conventional wisdom that rubs me raw, gets under my skin, is false, yet is widely propagated by gurus and marketers everywhere. The next cliché/fallacy is "content in King". Content is merely words on paper, recorded voices, and bits and byes on web pages. Good content is King, Queen, Empress, Emperor, Tsar, Tsarina etc.... Good Content comes from Good Sources. Good Sources are borne via their single set of Footprints in the Sand. The trials these Good Sources go through to attain their expertise forge their integrity. This makes them true experts, and makes them believable. Their words have power because they come from a good source.

Have you ever heard the expression, "consider the source"? This is usually said about someone that cannot back up what they say, and whatever they write, or speak, it's taken with "a grain of salt". Like we examined in the first example above of "Faking It 'til You Make It", this type of person is not believable because they cannot attest to the truthfulness of the statement they put forth. They haven't lived it, breathed, or experienced it. They're faking it by telling you what they think you want to hear.. Good Sources create Good Content which leads to good income!

Here's an example of how good content is always the winner. There are people making 6-figure incomes from blogs simply by reviewing products they tested and wrote reviews for on their blog. They are experts at what they do, they're considered authority figures in that niche, and they worked hard to get there. However, if they write a favorable review just to get some sort of kickback or affiliate commissions, they won't see too many repeat customers or get repeat traffic to their blogs.

They will have burned their bridges and they "sold their soul for a donut hole" if they make an unreviewed recommendation for the sole purpose of profit. They risked their reputation by writing about something about which they knew nothing or they gave a favorable review for something just for some quick bucks. What they lost was everything, expert status, repeat customers, respect, and yes, integrity. What they gained was a donut hole. Nothing.

Good content in king and it comes from good sources who spent years attaining their expert status. I want you to be a leader some day and you can do this if you make you are willing to see a single set of footprints once in a while. If you want to play follow the leader temporarily that's OK, too. Just follow the right leader, i.e. a Good Source

Which brings me to the next piece of advice from gurus that gets under my skin, which is: "If you do exactly as I tell you, you are guaranteed to succeed" That is so not true! Yes, there are certain basic fundamentals that everyone needs to succeed in life and business but anyone can tell you these basic steps. This type of information is freely available on the Internet and is valuable if coming from a good source. However, the one thing I have experienced is that many mentors and gurus will tell you to follow their footprints to success and do what they did to succeed. This doesn't work because you need to make your own Footprints in the Sand and you need to develop as a person.

I've been through 2 paid-for coaches and 1 coach who gave advice freely. This is my experience with this, and there's no greater teacher than experience. The more I paid these coaches, the better the advice was. However, everything of value that I learned came during the times when there was only a single set of Footprints in the Sand. Late nights slaving away at web pages, web sites, writing articles, content creation, Help Desk tickets etc... Those are the times when I learned something nobody could take away from me. I learned from expereince what my true strengths were, and what it was that I really wanted to do. Looking back at those miserable times of frustration and failure, I can see their worth.

The intestinal fortitude required to get through those times was created with a single set of footprints in CyberSpace. The lasting effect these times had on me resulted in footprints in cement that molded me into what I am today. Today, I consider myself a Peaceful Warrior who knows that the real battles are fought on the inside. There was a book given to me called The Way Of The Peaceful Warrior by Dan Millman. He emphasizes this point and many others. Here is another example of where his true wisdom shines: When he talks about a healthy diet, he doesn't say, "be a vegetarian" or "don't eat this, that or the other thing". He admits that even he doesn't know your body like you do, therefore all he can advise is a healthy balanced diet and some daily exercise.

Only you know what will work for you, and the wise ones know this and will tell you this. That's why when you hear a guru or coach say, "Follow my cut-and-paste blueprint for Internet riches" you must be wary of the product or program. You have to make your own success happen, nobody can do it for you and it won't work if it doesn't align properly with your likes, dislikes and talents. Your battle is not a lack of knowledge nor a lack of tools. Your battle is within and only you can find your way out of the swimming pool that represents "everybody else". To break way from the pack, to become hugely and truly successful, you need to walk "alone" for a while, and a good coach can be your Ally here, if you choose wisely.

Here is another example of why you should not follow a strictly defined avenue to success. Have you ever heard of Bruce Lee? He's one of the most advanced martial artists of all time. Many of his teachings are still ahead of our time and one thing he is credited with inventing is a martial art called Jeet KuneDo. Loosely translated, Jeet Kune Do means "the way of no way". This became a hugely popular "art form" and people were successful with it even though it defied some long standing philosophies taught by other martial arts schools. But it works well for those who try it because it plays to their strengths. This martial art is no better than any other. Other art forms may be exactly what people are seeking or other art forms could emphasize certain aspects that practitioners can "dial into".

"Follow me and do exactly as I say to succeed" doesn't work well unless you're exactly like the mentor teaching you, an extreme rarity in this world filled with 100% unique people, talents, and strengths. Your single set of Footprints in Cyberspace is the Way of No Way, the True Path to Your Success. "Do whatever gets the job done and gets you from point A to point B." That is the way of the Dan McGonagle and it can be your way, too.

Here's another popular saying that I have to disagree with: "You will become poor as a marketer teaching people how to fish. Sell the fish" To me, that equates to selling incomplete solutions to people. This means offering something that doesn't really address the need but simply emphasizes the need for yet another product. There are a lot of marketers doing this because this is what sells. Aspiring marketers give people what they want and what they seem to want the most. This is justified by some when they say: "Hey, it sells, I'm just giving them what they obviously want. If I don't sell it to them they'll buy it form somebody else..."

How is this different from the rationale employed by drug dealers? Don't they use the same rationale? Don't they sell whatever seems to sell well without regard for their customers? I am pretty confident in saying those people don't lead normal peaceful lives. I am pretty confident in saying they only enjoy momentary happiness with their proceeds. I am also pretty confident that their businesses are not built for the long haul.

It's considered good marketing to "upsell" and "side sell" people and I realize that, and I do it. There isn't one product that you're going to find that will address all of your needs right away. However, the real goal here is to have your product benefit your customer in some way, and for the product to deliver as promised, and to live up to the words on the sales page.

Here's another way to become successful as an Internet marketer and how to become a true expert. This is so simple yet many people don't do it because it seems like work. If you follow this integrity-laced marketing method, you will succeed in ways you never imagined. What's the method? Simple.. Try the product before you recommend it. How many marketers actually experimented with the products they're touting in these massive product launches you see every so often? Every time that I bought a product that was highly touted by gurus in some product launch, I bought from them based on their reputation.

If the product was a piece of junk I voted my disapproval with my unsubscribe button. Being the type of person that I am, I wait for the hype to subside before I recommend, or don't recommend a product to my readers. I'm busy implementing the strategies outlined in these products and am actually reviewing these products before I make a decision on it. There's a danger to doing this though... When the hype subsides and the fever pitch is gone, you stand less of a chance to make sales because the best time to "make sales" is during the product launch. If you end up recommending the product after testing it first, your conversion rate will be less. You also risk the chance of seeming like a Johnny-come-lately who isn't "with it". In the long run, you gain from this by building a relationship with your list based on trust.

For example, there was a product launch recently for an AdWords product that really was very good. I was lucky to get an advance copy of the report and suggested some changes to be made to it since it was missing a few key elements. Product owners don't like to hear that their products are lacking in any way therefore they didn' t make the changes. So I made up for what I considered the missing information in that report by writing a 2 page report filled with tips on AdWords and pay-per-click marketing. I didn't make a ton of sales for this product but I also felt happy with what I did.

What is going to last longer for you, money or satisfaction with yourself? If you answer correctly, you will have a constant ally in any tough times you face, and eventually you will have what most marketers desire: a following. Money comes and goes quickly, but satisfaction with self lasts forever. Moving forward, I now have the basis for my own product on Adwords. Right now it's only 2 pages long, but as I gain new experiences my knowledge increases and soon I will have the basis for a complete solution that I can put out there in my name as a true expert, with no stones left unturned.

There are too many people faking it, and too many marketers selling what they don't understand. Market with pride and integrity and you will always have an ally. Footsteps in Cyberspace isn't all about integrity or getting through hard times due to poor sales or a lack of progress. It is really the way business should be conducted everywhere. The longer you practice "integrity marketing" the more knowledgeable you become. The more knowledgeable you become, the closer you come to being an Expert. The closer you come to being an Expert, the closer to a real Guru you become. When you are a true guru at something, you will realize that the path to your success was paved by your footprints, but you were never alone, not ever.

Remember what integrity marketing and Footprints in Cyberspace is all about and remember that adhering to these principles will get you to the top. You will deserve every ounce of your success if this is the path you chose.

Here's another cliché that I'm about to destroy: Good Guys Finish Last... Not TRUE. Good Guys And Gals Finish First Every Time. Here's why: Have you ever heard of the 80/20 principles that 20% of your efforts will bring 80% of your income? Let's put this into real world perspective, into words marketers understand: You'll make 80% of your income from 20% of your list, 20% of your marketing efforts, 20% of your websites, 20% of your web pages, products etc..

How do you get more of the 20% accomplished, what is the 20% and where does it come from? It comes from being real with people, form being nice to people, and from establishing a real connection with people. Can this be accomplished by creating really good products? Yes, but how many people do you know that have unread or unopened digital products on their computers?

How many marketers have received the following email: "Hi, I'm really interested in buying your product, will it really help me? I'm on a fixed income and have been trying for 2 years without much success. What do I do and where do I start?" Etc.... Once in a while it pays to send this person a freebie, a free product. Seriously, it costs you nothing to email them a complementary product, right? Does this mean you give away all your products? No, that would be stupid and not everyone appreciates free stuff, because they abide by the old adage that "you get what you pay for".

Give away an occasional free copy of one of your products to gain good faith. Every once in a great while this type of person turns into a raving fan and becomes one of your 20%. Stupid idiot moron marketers finish last, not Good guys and gals. Another way to get more connected with your readers and listener sis to encourage participation, via surveys, teleseminars, webinars, whatever you want to call them. You can also personalize your message to them. Use the word "you" a lot. Use it without actually saying it. Make the reader or listener feel like you are actually talking to them.

Which sentence works for you best? "Hey anonymous group of people I sell stuff to, buy this" or "Hello Daniel, How are things going? We got buried with snow this weekend up here in Boston and my back is hurting for certain. Anyways, Daniel there is a new report out about XYX by PERSON'S NAME that is pretty good. I recommend you take a look at it if you need to get traffic to your sites quickly and easily. Daniel, if you live in a warm climate, please keep me in your thoughts and have a nice cold drink for me. We're about to get 8 more inches tomorrow. Here's that link again it's a pretty good read and a very comprehensive guide to traffic generation for an expert in the field. Thanks, Personal Message Sender"

That's how you get your 20%,and that's how Good Guys and Gals Finish First. Please remember though that if your product is under 9 dollars and people are stressing out about that, then they are probably never going to succeed. There is a whole heck of a lot more money that they're gonna have to spend and a lot more "frogs to kiss" before they "get it". That's if they ever get "it"...

Here the last piece of widespread advice that is commonly propagated: "Shoot for the stars, aim high" OK, Mr. Guru, I'm going to aim high like you said. Now me, a person with little or no business skills, is going to aim high and shoot for the stars.. Ready? I'm gonna make $50k/month in 3 weeks by making money online. That's right, me. I have little or no business skills, have never run a business before, don't even know what a business is, but I'm gonna do it because you tell me it can be done if I just aim high enough..."

Shoot for the stars? Aim high? Are you kidding me? Show me someone who has achieved this gargantuan success with little or no developed business skills and I'll eat every bit and byte of this article.... Aim high? No Set realistic goals? YES You see, this is the setup that they're framing you for. If these legends of marketing tell you its possible, and it doesn't happen for you like they described, it must be your fault, right? After all it worked for them, was easy for them, and seems like it was effortless for them to produce these results, if these results actually occurred for them. Maybe you need another product that will do it for you then.

That's the hook. They tell you anything is possible and quickly if you only aim high enough, and if you believe this tripe, then their next sales page will convert better for them. Here's what you're not being told (by the way you'll realize this on your way OUT of the swimming pool, but not while you're in it swimming around aimlessly): Their results are based on Having huge lists, cultivating their lists, possessing good business skills, writing a good email to that list and having great copy on their sales pages or web sites.

How do you get the success the obviously enjoy or purport to enjoy? Let's break it down one by one: Huge lists are built up over time Cultivating their lists means there is a relationship they nurtured over time Writing a good email to that list is a skill obtained over time. Having great copy on their sales pages or web sites is also skill obtained or purchased. Don't shoot for the stars. Instead, set realistic goals and achieve them. Do this enough times and you will have achieved a larger goal with even noticing it.

One saying that many good coaches have is that you should treat big success like "eating an elephant", And how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time, not all at once. Sound ridiculous, but there's wisdom in those words. I know, I've been there. Here's my evolution as a newbie who turned into a true entrepreneur. As a newbie, I was lucky to have one "failed" offline business under my belt. That was my high school diploma for business in the real world. I made my first few dollars online somehow, through trial and error and perseverance through about 20 different programs (single sets of footprints in Cyberpsace).

I earned more money, but got stuck trying to see which business model works best for me, which required more trial and error (single sets of footprints in Cyberpsace) After that I became an intermediate marketer making a full time income online but with no idea how to make more of this "success". At this point I considered myself an intermediate marketer and got some coaching but these coaches taught their styles and blueprints. At this point I learned that I have to do what works for me, and its not anything those mentors were doing.

Now, as an advanced marketer I have discovered the secret to 7-figure annual and 5-6 figure monthly income and am pursuing that ideal. Hmm, funny how the end goal was to get to a 7-figure annual salary but I didn't get there until I set, met and achieved realistic goals. I am so glad I set realistic goals and took bite size chunks of reality!

Here's another real-world example that I would like to share: I ran 2 consecutive Boston Marathons. Well actually it was more like I ran/walked them. Your path to success is very much like a marathon. It is a journey, not a race. When I got the idea into my head to run a marathon, I had little experience running long distance. The longest distance I had ever run was 5 miles, and I got up to 12 miles before I ran my first marathon with my friend Chris. I ran/walked my way to the finish line in under 5 hours, not bad for a first timer. When I got to the finish line, I was prouder of myself than I had ever been in my life. I reached my goal, but the arrival at the finish line wasn't my reward.

My reward was the journey and what it taught me about myself. I learned a little bit more about myself every time I went from walking to running again. My reward was the "measure of the man" that was taken during those grueling hours on the road. There is no greater reward than gaining a true sense of yourself during the trying times. Your reward is waiting for you in the single set of footprints Your reward will be life-changing, like mine was for me. Your success lies in the single set of Footprints in Cyberspace.

When I ran the Boston Marathon, I did it to raise money for charity. I raised over $500.00 and had the support of my family, friends, and co-workers. However, during the long 26.2 miles that I endured, that support was meaningless to me. I could not count on their support to urge me forward, or to get moving again. There was only a single set of footprints then, and it was only due to my Ally that I got through the race. The euphoria of finishing my second marathon didn't last as long as the first, but to this day, the experience has changed me forever.

Now, there are some warnings I would like to give you here. Running extensive miles on a body that is not used to running those types of distances will do damage to your body. I wasn't really prepared to run this race, and my knees suffered some permanent damage from asking too much of them in a short time frame. I don't mind though, because every time my knees act up I'm reminded of why they are so rickety, and how they got to be in such bad shape.

Another one of my favorite sayings is: "The unexamined life is not worth living." It's during the times of the single sets of footprints that we examine who we are as people and what we're really made of. There's no passing or failing grade here, you simply take measure of who you are. Set realistic goals and achieve them, then move on. Running 2 marathons with little experience wasn't very realistic, but the little experience I had helped me to the finish line. Since I tried to do too much with a body that wasn't prepared for it, my knees suffered, but I managed to finish the race, and you get to your finish line if you set realistic goals.

I'm from the Boston, Massachusetts area and we had something going on called the Big Dig, a multi-billion dollar construction project that was the first of its kind to have ever been done. There was a sign that greeted the passersby where they were most likely to see it and it read: "Rome wasn't built in a day. If it was, we would have hired their contractor". Your online empire will not be created overnight, but it will be created, have no doubts about that. I would not have been able to write to you about my experiences and my reality had I not taken my own Footprints In Cyberspace.

Thank You Ally, Integrity, and Reality, and Thank You for reading this. It means a lot to me that you read this whole article. If you enjoyed it or would like to leave some feedback, please visit http://danielmcgonagle.name

Daniel Mcgonagle is an entrpeneur who gives real-world advice. His Marketer's Relief is a comprehensive membership site with a built in traffic generation system. Join here at http://marketersrelief.com for the free traffic or for the 1400 marketing video tutorials and products there.

Advice For a Broken Heart

Your significant other just told you your relationship is over. Or, you found out your spouse cheated on you. You didn't expect it coming and you feel broken inside. What do you do?

When you suffer the loss of a relationship, it can be very similar to a death. You need to grieve and go through the stages of grief. Everyone goes through these stages in different ways and it takes varying amounts of time. Give yourself the space and time you need to get to a better place. Here are some signs to look for and some tips to get through this difficult time.

1. Shock and denial. You just can't believe it! You di't expect it or, if you knew there was trouble, you didn't think it was that bad. Your first reaction might be to refuse to believe it or you might just be numb and don't know how to react. Either way, you need to let it sink in. Ask questions or get answers if you need to but make sure that you take some time alone to think and reflect. This will allow you to adjust to your new reality and may prevent you from taking actions you may later regret.

2. Anger or bargaining. Everyone will get to this stage at different times but you WILL get there. It is OK to feel anger -sometimes you will deserve to feel anger! The question is, though, what are you going to do about it? Someone once told me that you cannot help your emotions but you can help what you do about them. My advice is to step back and think things through. If there is any chance of saving your relationship, the worst thing you can do is to take negative actions. Do not text or call the other person 100 times a day. Do not follow them, stalk them or harm them or their property in any way. Not only is this not helpful to your mental health but it can be a crime. Do not beg them, throw yourselves at them or bargain for a future together. This only turns people off and does not make you feel good about yourself.

3. Retrospection and constructive actions. Some people get this, some people don't. It is now time to think about how and why this happened. Sometimes, it is completely no fault of your own. If that is true, you are better off without that person. However, this is often not true. Take a deep look at yourself and your relationship. If you now can see how you contributed to this break-up, you need to acknowledge that to both yourself and your significant other. Be willing to change and address the problems - even if it means getting professional help. This is often the first step in saving your relationship. However, even if it is too late for that, you need to do this for yourself, your family and your future relationships. Patterns tend to repeat themselves and, if you don't want to suffer a broken heart over and over, you may need to accept that you need to change.

4. Depression or loneliness. If your relationship is over no matter what you do, you will be sad. You will feel depression and loneliness. That's OK but recognize it for what it is. Indulge yourself for a while - eat your chocolate double-fudge ice cream or have a few drinks. However, if it goes on too long and you just can't seem to get past it, talk about it with friends or family. They often have good advice. If that doesn't work, get some counseling. You need to.

5. Move forward. Life does go on and things will get better. You cannot let this permanently affect you or steer you onto the wrong path. Get out there - hang out with your friends, be social, join some clubs or go out.

Remember - one person should have so much power over you and your happiness should not be so dependent on another individual. Trust me - you will eventually feel better. How much and how long it takes will be entirely up to you.

Teri Nelson is a divorce lawyer with experience in broken relationships. Check out Save Your Marriage Tips for many other practical tips on how to deal with a broken heart.

Single Parent Advice on Effects of Single Parenting

You are the one that is solely responsible for everything your child may need. You might have been getting help from your ex husband or wife in case he or she is in the picture even after getting divorced in the form of joint custody, shared custody, or financial support. However, even with help from an ex spouse, it is important to understand the possible effects of single parenting on your child.

These results are only statistics, so it is likely that your kid will not run into these effects of single parenting. Understanding about what you are really dealing with is the top priority

Psychological Considerations

Your child's mental health is important in regards to the effects of single parenting. Divorce can cause feelings of self blame in children, as they may wonder whether or not they were the cause. For a child, this can be devastating. Not knowing your mother or father and only having one parent in your household as a child can be equally disrupting to normal life. With no contact from the other parent the child may be inclined to wonder about certain things such as if they are still living or their reasoning for leaving them. Your child may still feel abandoned, despite your reassurance that they are not. Searching for an absent parent is likely for a single parent child and may usually lead to them wanting to have a relationship with the absent parent. Regardless of the feelings your child displays, ensure that you are aware of them, remain close and attempt to understand those feelings, and when needed that a psychologist is involved to assist in dealing with the feelings.

Educational Facets

Education is vital. Children who go through any trauma tend to see a sink in grades in the immediate future, however. If one of his or her parents moves out and the household is suddenly a single parent one, the child may feel dejected. The lost feeling your child is suffering may also affect their grades. Its always gonna be a worse effect when single parenting happens suddenly Although teachers may cut some slack to the child that is going through a tough time, you should communicate to the teacher that this is not what you want. A snowball effect will inevitably follow. Just a few weeks away from school can set your child back for the whole year and this can have repercussions for the rest of his school years. You should communicate with teachers in order to know how your child is performing in school and to ensure that they do not fall through the cracks.

Claim your free book on parenting and find out more about getting financial help by visiting single parent grants

Advice on Love to Save Your Relationship Today

Modern society has become more stressful and its people are becoming so busy they can hardly take time off for themselves. This may result in negligence towards your loved one and you may need some advice on love to save your relationship because there are things in a relationship many couples overlook.

With the amount of work a modern society worker needs to do every day, and the undue demand from the government to set up individual private businesses while being able to serve the country as if they were full time soldiers, your body and mind would have been drastically drained. Spare time that should have been spent on your partner would be spent on getting those precious few moments of rest. Do remember that while rest is important, your loved one is important as well and moments spent with them are precious too. With the rare moments you have to spend with your partner, why not spend them wisely and fruitfully?

Have fun being together. Find time for you and your partner to do things together, like going for a couple's spa or going for an evening's joy ride in the car. Back when you two were dating, you would make time to meet each other and go on dates where no one except the envious public would disturb you. Look back and remember the times when you two enjoyed the times at the theatre and savoured romantic moments at the restaurants. Continue being with each other and do things that you two would enjoy.

Learn to communicate better. Talk to each other about things that really matter, such as whether they have been feeling the strain in their lives, or what they want to do in life. Simply asking every day, "How was your day?" would become something mundane or just mandatory and its effect would be weakened. Figure what is on your partner's mind and help to ease any mental burdens your partner may be having. In return, your partner could become your listening ear for you to release any pent up emotions you may have about work, family or just about everything.

Love each other again. Find the spark that ignited the romance between you and your loved one and try to create it again. With all the hustle and bustle of modern life, your attention would have been diverted to your work, your family or the government and that intimate feeling you and your partner shared gets buried beneath the mountainous pile of stress. With what little time you can save during the weekends or during the holidays, spend time with your lover and restore the intimacy the two of you might have lost, regardless whether it was as simple as dining as your favourite restaurants or requiring a bit more spending money to go crazy at the mall.

Stress can become dangerous to a person's life and when not properly controlled, more than just your relationship could be affected. Health advisors often say that you need to find ways to relieve excessive stress. Why not look to your loved one in order to find love, trust and confidence again, all while washing away the stresses of life?

Saving a relationship can be as easy as ABC but you must know what to do and what to say to get your ex lover back in your arms. Check out our relationship site as we have a recommended list of best relationship books to take you by the hand when you are feeling lost in your relationship journey.

Relationship Breakup Advice - An Easy Tip To Cope And Be Happy Again

Are you looking for relationship breakup advice because your relationship is in trouble? If so, you've come to the right place. Pull up a chair as I will show you some proven techniques to get through your breakup and come out stronger than ever before. A breakup is a tough and difficult time and can take a toll on our mental, physical, and emotional health. It can negatively impact all other areas of your life and create a downward spiral unless you take control and get your situation handled. Breakups also have a tendency to cloud our judgments so we make poor decisions. It's important to have the ability to take a step back and take a birds eye look at our situation so we can act in the best manner. As difficult of a time as it is, there is relationship breakup advice that will help see you through.

Relationship breakup advice tip 1: take inventory of the situation. This means analyze your situation and relationship in an unbiased manner. Involve a friend if you have to. You want to analyze what went well and what was bad in the relationship and what ultimately led to its current state. By knowing what caused the deterioration, you will then be prepared to tackle the issue head on and decide where you want to go from there. The best relationship breakup advice is to know yourself and know what happened so you can make things better. This break up advice works because you'll know how to proceed once you get the full picture.

Relationship breakup advice tip 2: the next step once you have an accurate assessment of what went right and what went wrong is to decide what you want. Do you want to move on? Do you want to get back together? Do you only want to get back because you miss the companionship or do you genuinely love your ex and want to make things work out again? These are all questions you have to ask yourself. It's important to know that you can define your own reality. You can make anything happen, but the first step is knowing what you want.

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Can You Be Single Yet Happy? Dating Tips & Advice

Do these words "Single and happy" sound like a bit of a paradox to you? Are you of the opinion that singles can not be happy? Are you postponing decisions in life only with the by-line, after I am married and settled?

Do you often feel that fun and enjoyment in life can not be fully appreciated unless you have someone to share it with? And do you always think that there is never enough time and monetary resources for a single person, to pursue any experience which bring true happiness ?

If these are your inner gut feel, not to lose hope. Go through the following tips to appreciate your present status in a different perspective. It is possible, through a lot of behavioral changes. The tips highlight how to lead a carefree, fun-filled and balanced existence as a single person, which in turn also paves the path for you to achieve a nice, healthy long-term relationship in future.

1. Seek self-fulfillment as an individual.

Concentrate on yourself first. Focus on the things that bring you joy and fulfillment. Be it a hobby or people, do whatever makes you happy. Don't let peace and enjoyment elude you as you wait eternally to share a good movie or a beautiful scenery with your future partner.

2. Don't put off important life decisions while waiting for that special someone.

Take life as it comes. Take appropriate decisions when the time is relevant according to you. For instance owning a house. Go ahead and do it. Hardly matters if it is too small in future. You can take a further decision to sell or rent that house. But right now it suffices your immediate needs and helps you invest in something which brings safety and security.

Also comes with tax benefits. If you decide to change cities, change jobs, go back to studies - do it by all means. Just might need a bit of re-shuffling your priorities but delaying such decisions can permanently switch off a plan, if you wait for a partner to arrive and settle down first. Time waits for none. Don't put your life on hold for anyone, that also yet unseen and unmet. Instead, work towards achieving your goals with determination and a sense of purpose.

3. Pamper yourself

Do some indulgence every now and then. It keeps you happy and alive. Like taking a holiday to an exotic island which you always wanted. Of course, you can repeat the exercise with the special someone later.

Do things which a couple would do normally. Live in style, for your self. Use good looking china at the dinner table, light that romantic candle and put on your favorite song while you munch alone. You deserve these small but important things to yourself.

Make your home beautiful. You will feel like returning to it everyday. You can easily do this without having to spend a fortune. Make it as cozy as possible - a dream retreat. You and your mate can re-decorate it once you establish a life together.

4. Make a plan, not excuses

Plan and organize your life. Don't give so much importance and priority to your job that it seems you are married to it. Set time schedules for each activity and work according to priority. We often hold our job as the most popular excuse for us not being able to do anything else in life - things which befit our other needs and desires.

You think ignoring your job means not going up the corporate ladder or slowing down. But remember the most important thing is to bring a sense of balance in life. Because lack of it affects your mental, emotional, spiritual and leisure of life. A workaholic is someone you may meet, but never be one.

5. Write down your must haves.

Stop that mad rush all the time. Learn to relax and take it easy and unwind. It helps with your mental health. Keep a score card how you're doing and make necessary adjustments. Stop being a couch potato, delete TV from your life once in a while. Instead, read a good stimulating book, reflect and look inwards to get peace and tranquility.

You have just started to turn a new leaf in life. Let this spring bring a long-lasting spring to your life. After all, this earth is our earth - this time is our time. Make full use of what you have already and see all the beautiful things Mother Nature has to offer in bountiful. And lastly, don't let the spirit of life dampen, for this is the only permanent thing we have with us. Irrespective of our relationshipstatus.

Joshua Goh is dating & relationship expert. His desire is to motivate and support single men, women and couples to overcome the obstacles preventing them from attaining the loving relationships and lives they really want. For more information please visit our site for up-to-date free personals reviews and practical online dating tips & ideas.

Parenting Advice

Finding Parenting Advice is challenging because there are so many sources in which to look. Figuring out who will give the best advice for you to follow is often a tough decision. The decision may be easier if you look at the children you see that behave as you would like your children to behave, because you can ask those parents what they have done that has helped them or that they have found successful. They would have a certain amount of wisdom in raising them or their children would most likely not be the most well behaved. One thing is certain, you need to have good moral values that you need to stick to yourself and begin training your children early on. One of the best teachers of good behavior is being a good role model. If you don't want your children to drink and drive, don't you either. The longer discipline waits the harder it gets. Obviously, one can not discipline a young infant, however by around the age of walking and talking the children understand the meaning of "no" to a certain degree. It requires training.

Some of this training we know, just because we know what our parents did with us. Not all our parents did was unwise, even if we think that. We all had parents that made mistakes and we will certainly make mistakes. This fact should not make us fearful or lazy when taking care of our own children. There are many places to get good parenting advice as I stated earlier. It is a matter of asking and searching. Some of these sources that may be good for helping in the discipline areas are child psychologists, the minister of your church, teachers, and other child professionals.

Your child's health is an important issue. Nutritionists, doctors, and health magazines are good sources for eating properly, and taking care of the rising issue of food allergies that are on the rise today. However, some of the problem with child hood obesity today is most certainly a lack of exercise. Too many children do nothing of exercise outside of school gym class. When home they just sit and play video games or watch television. Minimizing these is always good. There are so many other fun things to do.

It is important to take time to get your children outside and doing other things. Help them find something they will be interested in other than television and video games. Your enthusiasm will help and often times what you enjoy doing is a good place to start. If you are a dad who likes to work out in your shop for instance, get your kids out there with you, (even the girls, statistics show that girls who have good relationships with their fathers grow up with less problems when they are older) it is quality time with your child ,as well as they learn some important things about a trade or at least a work ethic, and they are not just sitting around. They also just might feel better about themselves when they can accomplish something, and good mental health is an important aspect of good physical health. Try many different things, even if your kids seem reluctant because they don't think they will like it or have fun. Many times they will be surprised at how much they like certain things and so will you be. It doesn't always have to cost a lot of money either. There are many non-profit organizations that you can get involved in or that they can get involved in, such as Boy Scouts, Girl Scouts, Habitat for humanity, Salvation Army, or your local church. They also usually have good values that you would want your children to learn and would have good parenting advice in many cases on how to discipline your children. One very important thing to remember is that you as a parent need to be involved in your child's life. Expecting others to do your job for you will not work.

Education for our children is also another important aspect of raising our children. Sometimes making the choice of which educational choice is right for your child/family is a tough one. Just because most people you know choose a specific venue, does not mean it is the best for your child/family. Some families have children in several different educational venues. There are several choices, such as public, private, and home school. There are many things in all venues of education that will help your child get a good education. In public and private schools teachers are a good source for helping you know what to do to help your children. It is just a matter of asking for that help and then acting on it.

It does not do any good to ask the teacher what you can do to help and then do nothing after getting the suggestions. Take an active part in your child's education, just as you do in their physical and spiritual aspects of their lives. Knowing what the school is teaching your child should not be a mystery to you. Volunteer to chaperone a field trip, or help out the teacher in class occasionally. Teachers will help you find ways to be involved. Not only will it help your child, but others as well. This brings us to home schooling as a venue. Don't believe all the myths out there about home schooling. Find some people in your community that do it and check it out. It may be what is right for you. There are so many educational helps today for home schooling that it is not as hard as you may think. Two of the most frequent objections heard today about home schooling, besides education are "I couldn't do it because my child doesn't listen to me and we argue too much." It may be surprising to some of these people how much their child would actually begin to listen because that child has their parents attention and care for more than a few minutes each day. I have not heard of too many home schooling parents or children that don't grow closer to one another. The other frequent objection besides education is that there is a lack of social experience, though this may be true for some, (which is only because that family would not be out doing anything outside the home) it is not the norm.

Most home schoolers get involved in homeschool co-ops that get together with other home schoolers each week, and it would be safe to say most have neighbors that they play with. There are even classes that kids can take from other home schooling parents that teach in the co-ops that not only help with the social aspect, but the educational one because these other teachers usually have degrees in these subjects. Homeschooling does not have to mean a lesser education because you don't think you are smart enough or can't remember things you did know once upon a time. It also does not mean your child can not learn from and interact with the outside world. It may also be surprising how much can be accomplished with that unruly, rebellious child, and how much the parent and child may grow closer to one another and be able to work together.

Parenting advice will come in many different forms and there are many aspects to think about such as health, discipline, and education. But if parents study them and go with what seems to fit their family then it is sure to have success parenting. Then in turn one day you as a parent might be giving your own children advise.

Angie Larson gives excellent parenting advice in the areas of health, education, and discipline. To receive advice and tips on being a successful parent visit the parenting advice website.

Top Stress Counseling and Stress Management Advice For You

Stress Counseling and stress management advice is about identifying the signs and symptoms of stress and finding best options to alleviate it. Leading experts on mental health will always advice you to consult subject-matter-experts for each level of stress. Source of stress can be due to life events, illness, work/study, personal relationships, lifestyle, environmental, social or adverse experience in life (sexual abuse, maternal stress etc).

Main objective of stress counseling and stress management advice is to talk on psychological coping and about techniques intended to equip us with enough strength to control ourselves. A successful and effective stress counseling and stress management advice should help us resolve our life and relationship issues.

Here is couple of advice that is generic and every stress counselor and stress management advisor will give. They are worth noting;

o Don't rush and take hasty decisions or opinions...take a moment to do so.

o Be regular in exercising...regularly eat healthy food only.

o Say no to...drugs, alcohol and illegal drugs.

o Spend time with your kids...have some fun and recreation time for yourself.

o Stay in touch with friends.

o Always share and talk...confide in a friend, your spouse or someone you trust.

o Maintain positive mental attitude.

o Seek experts' advice before things get too messy.

When we are stressed there would be little chance that we will be able to recognize what is causing stress in us. An expert stress counselor or stress management adviser will help us identify what is that we are fighting against. First step towards stress management is to identify the issue that is causing stress and then work on a solution. This is where today's stress counselors and stress management advisers comes into picture.

Today with advancement in technology you have various channels through which you can get services of stress counselor and stress management advisers. Couples of them are;

o Online services

o Mainly consists interactive sessions and activities through which your response is captured. Each of these responses will be transmitted through internet.

o Telephone

o This mode of communication is popular with a person who doesn't want to reveal their identity. Such services are mainly hosted as helpline by NGO's or government bodies.

o Conventional

o Here people fix up appointment with stress counselors or stress management adviser and meet up at a mutually convenient timing. Usually first visit is followed up by couple of more visits.

A famous stress counselor had once rightly said "Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you weren't asleep."

Are you looking for best stress management advices?

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Marriage Counseling Advice - Here's What You Should Look For When Choosing a Marriage Counselor!

For those of us looking for marriage counseling advice on how to choose the right marriage counselor, there are many considerations we need to take in to make our decision. You should most definitely want to choose a marriage counselor who has a successful marriage.

What I'm saying is do you want someone who is happily married, divorced, with or without children, or a male or female counselor? These are very important factors you need to think about in choosing a counselor to help fix problems in marriage.

You need to be able to trust your marriage counselor enough to be open and honest with them. They should be able to handle issues that cause breakdown in a marriage. Issues like infidelity, anger, unemployment, sexual dissatisfaction, or lack of communication.

The first thing you should is seek advice from friends or family who have used a marriage counselor. If they recommend someone and you trust them, then you may not need to search for a counselor yourself. There are many counselors that don't have professional training or a license.

Make sure you choose someone with a licensed mental health professional. Make sure that they are available outside of the session too. You should be able to call your counselor for help if there is an emergency in your marriage or you really need someone to talk to.

When you and your spouse first visit your marriage counselor you should feel comfortable with them. If you both are unsatisfied after the first visit then look for another counselor with the same considerations in mind to avoid wasting both time and money.

Marriage counseling generally costs $100 per session. There are many couples that can agree with the fact that a relationship isn't a bed of roses, and that it takes work for them to succeed. With that in mind, for marriage counseling advice in choosing a marriage counselor this should definitely help you in making your decision.

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Post Divorce Advice For Men

Not all men who have had a successful divorce are happy. Some loved their wife so much but there's nothing that can be done to quickly plug that hole in their heart. It's a despair having your kids away from you, and you can only see them from time to time. Living in a home not with your family is saddening for most men and dangerous fro their mental health. It's a different experience right after divorce and you can't just bring back all how beautiful the family has started. Most men who just had a divorce would suffer several issues. Post divorce advice for men is something all men after divorce need - but are often too to seek.

Feelings of Men After Divorce

It is a myth that men would feel freedom after marriage. Sometimes the allegation is true that a husband cheated his wife for a younger one, he feels remorse and regrets having done it. Often times there seems to be no way of knowing why the divorce happened leaving the man feeling even more trapped by the state of events than free of any marriage contract. Men have sensitive emotions too. As humans, they could fall into temptation without thinking of the consequences. Wives who leave their husbands will cause a great sorrow for him. Men don't want to live and be alone. It is shown in statistics that divorced men are likely to cause suicide. Who wouldn't? All his dreams are shattered and his family will be abandoning him soon now.

Managing Life After Divorce

After a great turmoil, it's just right to get out of your shelter and see the world in a different light. There are things that you don't expect will happen and you need to move on. Divorced men still have their lives and there are more to it. Remember that if they don't take a step forward, they'll only be stagnated in their condition. What has happened can't be brought back again but the important thing is the lesson learned from the experience. Think that if this didn't happen, you'll not be able to value the importance of relationships. A relationship not nurtured will easily break off. For your next relationship, you will know how to deal well with your spouse and avoid things that could damage the relationship. All these are hard but with perseverance and motivation, everything will be alright in time.

Learn From Self-Guide Books

Men usually aren't open and versatile than women. They don't just divulge their feelings to their friends and let all the pain out. This is their way of protecting their manhood. Post divorce advice for men is available in self-guide books. Book on men after divorce will help you understand the life of a man after divorce. You can find support from these books to help you come out from your pathetic self. Let these be your guide in your everyday struggle towards healing. At a very affordable price, you will feel secured and confident because of the learning you can get from the book.

To check out this helpful self-guide book on Post Divorce Advice that has changed the lives of other divorced men and help them have a better life, click the link below.

Post Divorce Advice For Men

Dating Advice - 10 Signs You're Too Good For Them

When we meet someone new, we always want to assume the best and give them the benefit of the doubt. But what happens when more and more doubt keeps piling up. No one likes to think that the person they're in a relationship might be a bad choice. After all, it reflects badly on us that we chose them. But sometimes you have to step back and take a good hard look at the person your with. You'll need to ask your self this tough, yet important question. Am I too good for them? It's not an easy one to answer, but it can make a big impact on your future happiness. If it saves you from wasting time in a terrible relationship, then your overall life will dramatically improve. So here are 10 tell-tail signs to be on the look out for.

1- Their Looks Are The Best Thing They Have Going For Them

Human beings are very visual by nature. In fact, it's estimated that 90% of the input we receive from the world is visually. Plus, on a subconscious level, many of the things that we find physically attractive relate to sings of good health. So, it's only natural that we want to be physically attracted to our partner. But if being beautiful is the best thing they have going for themselves, then you could be for some hard times ahead. If you're looking for a relationship that can last, then you're going to need more than a pretty face. Do they have good character, social intuition, good judgment, a sense of humor and any goals in life? Are they good at handling money and making smart choices in general? If the answer to most or all of these is "no", that could be a sign that they are a bad choice.

2- Your Friends Don't Like Them

You're friends probably know you better than anyone. They're the ones who've stuck with you through thick and thin. They are the people in your life who where here long before the person you're now dating came along. And (hopefully), they'll be here to help you pick up the pieces after it all falls apart. That said, you're friends usually will have your best interest at heart. If one of your friends doesn't like the person you're dating, you could think of it as sort of a one-off type situation. However, if the collective decision by all your close friends is that they don't like the person, then you might want to really take that to heart.

3- They Don't Know Where They're Going In Life

Some people seem to be born knowing exactly what they want to do in life. Others of us don't figure it out until later on. There's a difference between being 18 and not sure what you want to do in life and being 30 and still living in your patents basement. Does the person your dating have any drive or ambition in life at all? If not, then the best thing they have going on in life might be you. That's still not a good enough reason to stay with them. Even if they haven't yet achieved their dreams or found success, they should at least be working towards it. If their biggest goal in life is to party and play X-Box all day, that's a very bad sign. The long and the short of it is that if you're life is in full sail and theirs is still stuck in port, it may be a big incompatibility issue for your relationship.

4- You're Always Encouraging Them

This sort of ties into the #3 (They Don't Know Where They're Going In Life). You've worked really hard to get somewhere with your life, so shouldn't you want the same in your partner? Do they seem completely unmotivated and directionless? It's not a good sign for your relationship if you are constantly trying to push or encourage them to do something with their life. It's really a question about what YOU really want out of life and if their goals line up with yours.

5- You Always Have To Explain Everything to Them

One time I was dating a girl (let's call her Kelly). Everything seemed to be going great, until one day we were talking after work. I'd spent the whole date a trade convention down town. I was telling her about my day and she said, "um... what's a convention". Wow, was this girl dumb or what? I really, really wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt, but wow. That's when I knew our relationship wasn't going to last long. You should feel that you're on the same intellectual leave as them, or it could make it very hard to connect with them in any really meaningful way.

6- They Drive You Crazy

Have you ever dating someone who you're really into but did things that got under your skin? Well I have, and I can tell you that it can be a really tough situation. Let's call her Angie, and not only did she drive my friends crazy, but she had a way of making me nuts. On one hand, she was incredibly hot, but her biggest downfall was what I liked to call "foot-in-mouth" disease. The part of her brain that is supposed to stop her from saying inappropriate things out in public seemed to be broken. We would be out with friends or co-workers and she'd spontaneously blurt out things I'd privately told her. Talk about an awkward situation.

7- They Can't Afford To Pay for Anything

Does the person you're dating never seem to have any money? Do you always have to pay for everything? I'm a little old-fashioned and think the guy should pay on the first couple of dates. However, if you've been going out for a while, it's only reasonable that the girl would pay sometimes too. If the person you're dating is constantly broke or having money problems, it can put a damper on your relationship. Not only will you get tired of hearing about it all the time, but what does that say about their skills at handling money or planning for the future.

8- You Always Have To Dumb Down The Conversations For Them

This is probably different for everyone, depending on how brainy you consider yourself. Try to imagine going through life having to explain even the simplest, most basic things to someone as if they had the IQ of a 3rd grader. No matter how attractive or fun you think they are, this will still start to get on your nerves after a while. After a while, even the best sex in the world won't make up for this. The best solution is to try and find someone who's on the same intellectual playing field as you.

9- Mental/Anger Issues

Love really can be blind. When you're into someone, it's easy to overlook their short-comings and bad habits. However, this is not one that you should just let slide. If they are dealing with anger issues or are mentally unstable, it's going to lead to big problems down the road. These are probably deeply rooted issues that you're not going to be able to change. It's better to find out about things like this sooner rather than latter. These types of issues are not likely to get better over time, but will probably get worst. Plus, there are so many other people out there, that it's not worth sticking it out with someone who has these types of issues. It can bring you a lot of unhappiness.

10- Poor Hygiene or No Pride In Their Appearance

This should just go without saying. It's not a good sign if since you've started dating, their personal hygiene and over all appearance has dramatically degraded over time. It could be a question of overall ambition and motivation in life. Or it could be that they really just don't care. Either way, you just have to ask yourself if that is what you really want in the person you're dating?

Find more great dating advice at FreshDate: The Free Dating Website.

Advice on How to Quit Marijuana - Avoiding Roadblocks

How to quit marijuana can seem to some people to be a very simple question and to others an incredibly complex one. Some may think this difference of opinion simply comes from peoples varying levels of commitment to their attempts to stop smoking pot and this is somewhat correct but the circumstances people are in have some of the greatest effects on people chances of kicking their weed addiction and many of the problems I like to call roadblocks.

A roadblock is something we think we cannot pass, an insurmountable obstacle set before us that stops our attempts to move forward and appear to a marijuana user trying to quit to be a point they cannot go past so they simply turn around and head back on down the same path because that roadblock is not going anywhere. Some examples I have seen include:

Becoming extremely stressed when ceasing to smoke weed
Panic attacks
Anxiety
Depression
Nightmares
Lack of support from friends and family
Social ostracism
... and many more!

These roadblocks I like to think fall into two categories and need different approaches.

Speed humps

A speed hump does not stop you going forward they simply slow you down, they are rough and sometimes fro a distance they look like you can't get over them until you get closer and attempt it and realize they are not so bad! The only way to determine this is to look at the situation up close and work out can you just push on through it and it was fear of failure holding you back from giving up smoking weed not any real danger.

Barriers

A real barrier is something that you cannot get past, or if you do try you end up wrecking yourself or something else (or someone else). Often sever issues of mental health or extreme social issues can become real problems when you are trying to work out how to quit marijuana and it looks like the end. Obviously you cannot just power on here but there are other things you can do. Following the roads analogy I might be laboring a little bit we might see our path to quitting marijuana as a straight line with speed humps and sometimes a barrier ending our journey, but what if there was another path? What if we could go around that barrier or remove that barrier in a different way that just trying to drive on over it? The real secret to avoiding roadblocks is to not tackle them head on if you are going to lose but instead try to find a different path, think of new ways and approaches to the problem or sometimes realize that this roadblock might have to be removed by getting our of the metaphorical car and solving this issue first.

In the next section on how to quit smoking marijuana will get a few examples I have seen for a better understanding.

In the first part of this article we discussed how problems in our life can present what may seem like barriers that we cannot overcome and force many people to turn around and give up on their attempt to quit smoking pot. This advice on how to quit marijuana will continue on with some common and not so common examples of how former pot smokers have handled these situations.

Social obstacles

Many marijuana addicts are social smokers as well as on their own and many have a culture that is based around smoking pot and all their friends do and often their families too. Recently I heard of a girl who was stressed out because all of her close friends smoked pot but she really wanted to stop and felt that if she revealed this to her friends there would be social consequences. This may have been understandable but the stress and anxiety over losing her friends nearly broke her resolve until she was advised to look at the issue a little closer and found that the problem in her mind had become a lot bigger than it really was. By simply talking to her friends about how she felt it was best for her without judging her friends she found that most actually supported her and some decided to join her in her efforts! This was a classic example of a speed hump where the obstacle only seemed impassable and became smaller only when she had the courage to go over it.

Family Obstacle

Sometimes a social problem is not as easy to overcome however as another common problem is when your family all smoke and you cannot move out, and even worse they do NOT support your efforts to quit. A lack of freedom and space can make if very hard and if you can not change those around you and receive no support the stress can be very high and drive you back to smoking as it can be too hard not too. This is more a of a road block as you are caught between a rock and a hard place and it feels like there is no solution. In these times you have to be a little more creative and find a new way, the individual in question here fond a way forward by realizing that the roadblock that was his living conditions and addicted family was the only reason he kept smoking, not only this but a fairly abusive relationship with his father was sapping his will and all this stress and anxiety simply meant it was easier to smoke and fall into line even though he knew it was destroying his chances at a better life. The solution ... to move out despite the horrendous difficulties this posed. It was a new path, a rocky path but it was this or return to the same problem. I head from this guy a few months later and now that he had quit smoking he had moved into a clean share house and while money was tight the benefits of being free was worth the hardship. This may not be possible for everyone but it shows how a rougher path can sometimes be the only way forward if you identify the crucial base problems for your continuing dependence on smoking weed.

Masking Problems

Another reason some people continue to smoke weed is that it is a way to mask another problem such as depression, anxiety or even rage and psychosis. Some feel that the effects of marijuana help them cope with these conditions but know that they need to quit, and then fall back to smoking because they feel they cannot handle whatever other problems they have. With this in mind the roadblock is the other condition they suffer from that stops them moving forward but the problem most face is that they think this other problem is unsolvable and often use it as an excuse to continue smoking because masking their problems is easier than fixing them. The answer? Treating the underlying problem of course! If this means going to therapy or buying medication designed to specifically deal with brain chemical imbalances then so be it but only by removing this roadblock will you ever move forward.

In the end all of these problems are about analysis, honesty and a motivation to do things other than just stopping smoking which is sometimes the easiest bit. By finding a path you can follow these stressful difficulties can be avoided and overcome making the road to find out how to quit marijuana that much easier, better and lasting too.

For more advice from someone who has been there and done that and knows the real reasons why people find it hard to quit click below to find out more on how to quit smoking pot

http://www.kick-addiction.com/marijuana-addiction/treatment/

Harassment & Bullying in the Workplace - Advice For Employers

Would you hit a colleague? Shout at someone who'd made a mistake? Would you refuse to work with someone who was black, female or pregnant? Jokingly call someone names? Withhold information? Join in gossip or office banter? You may answer 'no', but think back over the last six months, is your conscience crystal clear? One in ten employees think they have been bullied in the last six months. Nationally, that's over 2.5 million people. Someone out there is harassing staff at work and it could be happening at yours.

Last year British Employment Tribunals dealt with over twenty-eight thousand discrimination claims, but not everyone takes their case to an ET, some go on long term sick leave. Over 72% of targets of bullying say they suffered stress and a survey by a long-term disability insurer found that claims for compensation arising from mental health problems had increased by 90% in the last five years. Doing nothing, in your business, is not an option.

What is harassment?

Harassment can be thought of as any unwanted behaviour that a person finds intimidating, upsetting, embarrassing, humiliating or offensive. The focus of all related legislation, the Sex Discrimination, Race Relations, Disability Discrimination and Protection from Harassment Acts and Regulations, lies in the impact of the behaviour on the recipient.

A survey in 2000, reported that withholding information, which affected a person's performance, had been experienced by nearly half of all employees. Other 'negative' behaviours, which can be cited as harassment, involved having opinions and views ignored, being given tasks with unreasonable targets/deadlines, and being exposed to unmanageable workloads. These may be the symptoms of escalating conflict between a manager and an employee or team, but many managers pass the blame on to the organisation itself.

Is the organisation's culture to blame?

Harassment can be inherent in the way an organisation does business. Rewarding 'tough' managers with promotion or performance bonuses is something often bemoaned by their abused staff. Most employees can work with tough deadlines now and again, but their perception of how they are set, how much control they have over their work and the kind of rewards that are in place, can make the difference between feeling harassed and willingly making an effort.

In a UNISON survey, 90% of people said that the fact that bullies can get away with it was a major factor in the prevalence of bullying behaviour, and people were scared to report it. This may be a widely held belief based on little evidence but seen as 'fact' by staff, so it's difficult to counteract unless an organisation is publicly seen to be doing something.

What effect does harassment have?

The laws on harassment focus on how a person feels about the behaviour that took place and the effects can be many. Symptoms include anger, anxiety, depression, withdrawal and problems concentrating. Targets often report a lack of confidence and complain of stomach upsets or seemingly minor illnesses.

However, there may actually be a lower rate of absenteeism because they are afraid of giving their persecutor more ammunition with which to harass them. They can become anxious about being branded 'not up to the job' and having their standing within the organisation undermined.

Charlotte Rayner's research in1998, found that a quarter of those subjected to bullying at work left their employment, as did one in five of those who had witnessed it. Some stay on to fight for an apology or even vengeance, but many put up and shut up often destroying their personal lives in the process. Rayner found that the longer bullying went on, the less likely that there would be a satisfactory outcome. In fact, 84% of those questioned said that the bully had done it before, and three quarters said management knew this. If this is true, managers are failing in their duty of care towards their employees. Doing nothing is collusion and makes you liable.

Who are the harassers?

It's hard to generalise about the types of people who bully or harass at work. It's reported that about three-quarters are managers, some feel threatened by their subordinate's knowledge, creativity etc., but some do it because they can or because they are inflexible, opinionated or stressed themselves.

What are the signs?

Ignore the signs at your peril - people leaving, grapevine gossip, drops in productivity, sickness, people asking to be moved, all hint at an underlying problem. Find out what it is. Do exit interviews, back to work interviews, monitor performance and sickness, talk to people informally, but treat it seriously, take appropriate action and monitor.

I investigated a case last year where two people had made allegations of bullying against their senior manager. An informal chat was had with the manager, but nothing else done. They both later went off sick with stress as the manager found more covert ways of undermining them. The investigation cost thousands of pounds and much heartache, which could have been averted by monitoring the situation. Both complainants resigned and their years of experience and knowledge were lost to the organisation, who had to recruit and train newcomers and were lucky not to be sued for constructive dismissal and compensation.

What can you do about it?

Targets who stand up to their harassers straightaway, are likely to nip the problem in the bud. Research has shown that telling the harasser their behaviour is unacceptable within two weeks of it first happening is most likely to stop it. Leave it longer than that, and the target's self-confidence is quickly eroded and they may need help. Managers and personnel people must deal with harassment promptly to avoid the permanent breakdown of working relationships.

Whatever the size of your company, you can reduce the incidence of unacceptable behaviour by having a widely broadcast statement, explicitly stating that harassment will not be tolerated, giving examples of bad behaviour and its consequences, and emphasising that everyone is responsible for their own acts. It is crucial to have a process for dealing with it, which is explained to staff, and is enforced and monitored.

In my years as an investigator, I have seen so many cases that could have been avoided if action had been taken early, if targets or managers had had that difficult conversation to say 'what you just did was unacceptable'. A lot of harassers don't intend to hurt people and would be mortified to think that they had, a quiet word and an apology might avoid escalation. Some harassers do intend to hurt and undermine, and an early warning that their behaviour has been spotted and the consequences should they continue, is enough to stop them in their tracks. What is important is that everyone, not just managers and personnel, takes action when behaviour is unacceptable.

Quick guide to action

Target:

1. Decide what outcome you really want

2. Stand up to the harasser and address their behaviour promptly and assertively if you are able

3. Tell a manager or personnel officer

4. You can always leave - it may be better for your mental health in the long run to completely remove yourself from harm's way than to either grin and bear it or fight for an apology

Organisation:

1. Take harassment seriously

2. Have a clear policy

3. Tell people about it regularly

4. Demonstrably implement the policy - be seen to take action

5. Monitor the policy and the organisation as a whole to spot trouble before it escalates

6. Audit the process

7. Act on feedback

Individual responsibilities:

1. You are responsible for your behaviour in any given situation

2. Notice the effect you have on others

3. Apologise if you upset someone, even if you didn't mean to

4. Change your behaviour - be flexible in the way you deal with different people and different situations

5. If you are accused of harassment, take note of what is said, go away and review your behaviour, and calmly think through your responsibilities in order to respond.

Nicola Walker has been involved in training communication skills, management skills and diversity issues to UK organisations for over 17 years. She has a degree in Psychology, an HND in Business and Finance and is an NLP Master Practitioner. She uses her skills and knowledge to investigate complaints of harassment and bullying in British workplaces and also to aid emotional and behavioural change in both bullies and targets of bullying. You can find her at http://www.nicwalker.com or http://www.intro2nlp.com

Health Advice For Better Living

If you are a person trying to find the best source of health advice, then here's how to save you from lots of trouble. It is always a good thing to ask for advices regarding your health but asking alone won't help. You must take action as well. Without action, those things would be empty words. I'm emphasizing this one because it is very important that you don't just listen to the advice but rather, you listen and do what is advice. The action is much more important for this is where we see results. Anyway, if you want to learn more about health, this is the place to be.

Where should we get health advice? What are the most reliable sources? Well, here are some options that I know:

Internet - "if you want to know something, Google it!" pretty much true. It is indeed the widest and largest source of answers for health questions. It is also the easiest way to search for health advices. However, because the internet is created by people from all walks of life, we can't be sure if these advices are reliable enough. It's pretty risky to ask for health advice on the internet nowadays.
Doctor - a doctor is a professional health care person. He knows pretty much a lot about health. The doctor is the best source of advice about health and you can trust everything that the doctor advices you to do. You can simply follow what the doctor says without fear. If you really want a reliable source of advice about health, the doctor would be the number on the list.
Healthy People- these people are living testimonies. You don't have to think twice because you can actually the results. You can see in them that what they advice you works well for them so in my opinion, they are perhaps one of the best sources of advice about health, next to doctors, that is.

I know that everybody wants to be healthy. Regardless of age, race and occupation, we all want to have a healthy and physically fit body. It is the best thing that we could give ourselves. It prolongs our life, allows us to have more happy memories, allows us to be physically and mentally active, promotes healthy relationships and gives us a happier life. So how can a person be healthy? Well, there are simple ways to follow but if you lack discipline, determination and dedication, it would be as difficult as painting the Eiffel tower pink using a nail polish brush.

First and foremost, a healthy diet is necessary. Eating the right foods and getting the right nutrition out of these foods would make you healthy. Gives you the right stuff that your body needs to function efficiently.
Exercise is also important. You need to be active. It is good that you always move around to make sure that you burn fats and get your body active. Find the right type of exercise that fits you to make it easier.
Rest is an essential part of being healthy. It allows your body to charge up for another day so has plenty of this.

Check out cool health advice at the health blog now.

Divorce Advice For Men - This Won't Be the Usual Advice For Men Who Want a Divorce, Be Warned!

You're probably reading this article looking for divorce advice for men somewhere along the lines of don't sign anything, or keep all correspondence, or don't bad mouth your wife. Well, if you are, you might want to click on another article because the divorce advice for men I have in mind has nothing to do with the do's and don'ts of going through a divorce. Instead, I'm here to advise you not to divorce, and I have five darn good reasons you should pay heed to, namely --

1. Divorced men die younger

The statistics show that you will not live as long as a guy who's been married to the same woman all his life.

2. They earn less

Divorced men have lower annual incomes than their peers, and are less likely to be promoted to senior executive positions.

3. They are more likely to have depression or mental issues

Again, more divorced men have depression and other mental health issues than do married ones.

4. More divorce men commit suicide

The suicide numbers are higher among divorced people than married folks.

5. The children of divorced couples do badly in school, struggle with depression and with future relationships

Your kids will also suffer. Research conducted show that kids with divorced parents don't do as well in school and will struggle more with mental health issues and their future relationships and marriage.

I apologize if this isn't the kind of advice you were looking for but I hope you can see it's much better. Rather than searching for the typical divorce advice for men, why not look for marriage help books or websites to help you get your marriage back on track and ensure that your life will be happier, longer and more worth living.

Click Here to get expert advice on how to Avoid Divorce before you lose your wife forever.

Relationship Advice on Feminine Power - 3 Traps to Avoid For a Successful Relationship

Like it or not, the road to romance can sometimes be bumpy. Stepping into your "feminine power" has been a concept of confusion for many forward thinking females ever since the 60's and has kept many relationships from living happily ever after. Reflect on this relationship advice to see if you've fallen prey to any of these 3 traps.

Loss of Balance

With very few powerful feminine role models for you to emulate, the association to "power" has been misinterpreted as masculine. Face it. The majorities of women wears a dozen different hats and are on the fast track the minute our feet hit the ground in the morning till we drop into bed exhausted.

This kind of power and energy is not from our feminine source. So it's easy to understand how the art and pleasure of being a woman got lost and buried. In addition, with the drive to succeed front and center, playfulness flew out the window along with fun romantic adventure. Learn how to flip to feminine and you'll have much more fun.

Loss of Connection

If you are like the millions of women who crave an intimate connection with their man but expect him to turn into Don Juan and create all the romance, you're unconsciously giving your power away. You need to ask yourself, "Do I want to stay stuck or do I want to reach out and be a bridge to love?"

Most men were not raised to know how to woo you beyond the initial stages of love and are fearful of being criticized and rejected, whereas women, the feminine, are the source of creativity. So stop judging and blaming, start softening, and allow a safe haven for your partner to enter into. Go dancing, listen to music, watch a funny movie or design a fun environment to play in. The point is you have the power to create what you want, so do it!

Loss of Pleasure

A segment on NBC's Today Show revealed 63 percent of all relationships are suffering from sex problems. Relationship expert David Schnarch, a clinical psychologist at the Marriage and Family Health Center in Evergreen, Colorado, cites women as having confusion and control issues. His remedy? Women need to rediscover themselves and take control of their desires. Couples need to build intimacy and work on personal growth.

As observed by Dr. Schnarch, women need to get in touch with their feminine energy, their pleasure center, and create what they want in their love life. Couples who play together are much happier. It's important for women to understand that pleasure is their birthright. So get in touch with what brings you pleasure - make a list of 10 things that make your skin tingle with excitement and make sure you do at least one of them every day.

Thankfully, with the recent downturn in the job market and a return to a "less is more" mentality, people are once again searching for balance, meaningful connection and pleasure within their relationships. I invite you to take a moment and reflect - are you making the most of your feminine power? If you can live consciously and avoid these three traps you are definitely on your way to a successful relationship.

Bonus - If you would like more information on how to have more fun in your relationship and create the closeness you crave I invite you to visit http://www.SherriNickols.com and claim your special free report.

Authored by Sherri Nickols - Romance Coach for women ready to live a fully Self-expressed life, blending fun and adventure into their relationship to create the closeness they crave.

Relationship Advice - How to Improve Intimacy

A relationship requires intimacy. I don't think anyone would argue with that. However, what intimacy means to women and what it means to men can be two different things. The ironic thing is, both sexes need intimacy in both of it's forms to have a solid relationship.

When a woman thinks of intimacy, she generally wants to begin with emotional intimacy. Emotional intimacy depends primarily on trust and frequently involves individuals discussing their feelings and emotions with each other in order to gain understanding and offer mutual support. It is necessary for human beings to have this form of intimacy on a regular basis for them to develop and maintain good mental health. When a woman says, 'Let's talk first,' she is not being coy or playing hard to get. A woman needs to feel an emotional bond before sex begins. Ok, I hear you saying, 'Women have sex with strangers, what about that?' Sure, a woman can have sex without the emotional bond, however, for a lasting relationship, this emotional bond must be present. Feeling emotionally attached to your partner takes the physical intimacy to a level that simple sex cannot achieve.

For a man, intimacy generally means physical intimacy. That is how they feel close to their partner. That does not mean they do not have an emotional connection, because for a lasting relationship, this is required. However, aside from sex as simply sex, men also need the physical intimacy to feel loved Sex alone is not enough. The emotional connection must be there for it to be meaningful. Performing without feeling will not meet a man's needs on this level.

Physical intimacy, on the other hand, does not always mean sex. Women generally like to start with hugging, kissing, and other forms of physical intimacy before sex begins. Men also enjoy these things, however, to feel connected to their partner men usually need sex too. Men and women are really looking for the same thing. It is their approach that differs. We all want to feel connected. Women place more importance on the emotional connection and men on the physical, but both are required by everyone. Here are a few suggestions that can make your connection with your partner stronger and build intimacy on every level.

Men, take the time to talk, hold hands, hug, kiss, connect to your women. When she says, 'I'm not in the mood,' it is because you haven't taken the time to do these things. This doesn't mean walk up, say hi, give her a hug and kiss, and start groping. Instead, try this approach, ask her about her day, care about her feelings and discuss them. Hold her hand or put your arm around her as you talk. Give her a hug and kiss here and there without expecting more. When she is talked out, she will usually be as ready for physical intimacy as you are. Discussing your feelings with her will build trust between you and create a strong emotional bond.

Women, if you are in a committed, long-term relationship, understand that men need sex to continue to feel connected to you. Refusing a man is the same thing as a slap in the face. This doesn't mean you have to perform every time he demands it. Far from it. Explain to him what you need to be in the mood for sex. Men do not always understand a women's needs because they have never been told. Often times, once a man understands, he will try to give you what you need. Remember, too long without sex erodes a man's belief that you love him.

Intimacy is one of the most important things in a relationship. Understanding how to meet your partner's needs is the first step in building a strong, long-lasting relationship that both of you will be happy with.

©2005 Patricia Fason

Patricia Fason is a writer and poet whose main focus is relationships. To read more of her work, visit Sites O Web Romances You There you will find relationship articles, poetry, romantic gifts and other tools to keep romance alive in your relationship.