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2012年8月17日 星期五

Leaving an Emotionally Abusive Partner - 4 Steps to Maintaining Health and Sanity


Making a big decision in life, like leaving a toxic and unhealthy relationship, is challenging and requires a good deal of courage. If you have come to the place of acceptance that this is the right decision for you, it doesn't mean you will not have struggles and setbacks in following through on what you know is a good choice. Often, your toxic partner will use the same tactics he or she did to keep you in the relationship to draw you back into the relationship, and even increase his or her efforts. Now is an excellent time to take good care of yourself and take steps to clear your head in order to move forward. Here are 4 steps to maintaining your health and emotional clarity as you navigate leaving your emotionally and psychologically abusive relationship:

1. Eat well. Avoid highly processed foods and sugars, opting instead for a diet that is centered around fresh fruits and vegetables, lean proteins, and whole grains. If you find your appetite is dulled during this stressful time, try carrying around healthy snack foods to munch on throughout the day. If you tend to overeat, be sure you are not distracted when you have meals, i.e. don't eat while watching television. Try setting a time in the evening beyond which you don't consume any more food. Take supplements if needed, including a food based multivitamin, calcium, and fish oil, which has many benefits to the body including supporting brain health. 5 HTP is a natural antidepressant that can be of help in many cases, and L-Theanine is a good anti-anxiety supplement. It is advisable to check with a doctor or naturopath before taking a new supplement.

2. Start exercising. This is a fantastic and healthy way to elevate your mood. Check with your physician to determine the best activity level for you. Cardiovascular exercise is ideal, as it allows for the release of feel good endorphins, compounds which are released during activities that elevate heart rate for a sustained period. Swimming, running, the elliptical machine, basketball, dance -- all can be good cardiovascular activities. A good program may include 45 minutes of cardiovascular exercise 5 times per week, but don't let this recommendation prevent you from doing what you can. Some exercise is always better than none.

3. Talk things out with a counselor. You have been through some trauma as a result of this experience, and it is very helpful to have a trained, unbiased person who can offer you feedback and perspective in your life. Also, gather your support network of friends and loved ones close during this time. You need the positive influence of those who affirm, love, and support you.

4. Avoid interaction with the toxic ex partner whenever possible. If you begin to feel anxiety and slipping back into old patterns when you speak to this person, that is a good sign it is time to end the conversation. If you must communicate about certain issues, such as children, stick with the subject and don't allow the conversation to get personal. You are not required to divulge information that isn't relevant to the discussion. If you find yourself stuck in a situation where you must interact and your ex gets personal or off topic, try repeating a nonsense phrase like "lalala" in your head while your ex is speaking.




Are you interested in addressing your life challenges from a holistic standpoint, assessing the physical, emotional, and relationship components?

For a free copy of my ebook, "Natural Methods To Fight Depression", click here: http://www.stoptoxicrelationships.com/gifts-naturalmethodstofightdepression.html

Shannon Cook is a personal coach and resource guide who has written a number of informative articles and ebooks on the topic of toxic relationships and holistic personal growth, including physical, emotional and relationship health.




2012年7月29日 星期日

5 Ways to Build Strong Relationships - Empower Your Partner


You cannot build a strong house with weak bricks; nor can you build a strong relationship by tearing down your partner. Relationships are opportunities to learn about ourselves by learning about others; even though they are so often used to make one person feel good at the expense of another. The key to building a strong, healthy relationship is making the component parts as strong and healthy as possible. Empower your relationship by empowering your partner. Here are five-ways you can strengthen your relationship by building-up your partner.

1. Support and Encourage Your Partner. Don't put fear and doubt between them and their dreams and aspirations; empower them with positive words and thoughts - have faith in their vision.

2. Build Your Partner up. Don't tear your partner down with negativity; and don't belittle them. Build your partner's confidence and self-esteem.

3. Praise and Compliment Your Partner. If you can't find something nice to say, you probably shouldn't burden another human with your presence. Open your eyes, open your heart, open your mind, and open your mouth and say something genuine, sincere, and nice.

4. Be Nice and Kind to Your Partner. All living things deserve kindness; yet so many people withhold this common courtesy from those dearest to them. Be nice and kind for your partner, and for yourself; the benefits to your health, life, and relationship are tremendous.

5. Love and Appreciate Your Partner. It may seem obvious, but if you're in a relationship, you should love and appreciate the person who has devoted their time to being with you. You should find things about them to appreciate; and you should learn to love unconditionally. This is a gift and an opportunity - not a requirement.

If you learn to do these five-things, you will help your partner grow and flourish; you'll help them bloom into a fuller version of their "old self." If you don't, you will simply become more and more miserable and/or withdrawn from your relationship and your life. You owe it to yourself and your partner to learn how to build and strengthen your relationship. It's easier than you might think, and the rewards are more than worth the effort.




*To download your FREE, Illustrated Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) Manual, go to: http://www.ExploreExpandEvolve.com/free_download/ (It only takes about 10-seconds to get your Free EFT manual and start erasing fears, phobias, negative self-talk, resentment, and limiting beliefs that could be limiting you and ruining or sabotaging your health, life, and relationships!)

Pete Koerner is the author of The Belief Formula: The Secret to Unlocking the Power of Prayer. The Belief Formula is a look at how you can use ancient wisdom and modern scientific awareness to learn how to use your mind to reclaim your health and create the life of your dreams.

For a Free Report on Making The Belief Formula Work for You, visit: http://www.TheBeliefFormula.com




2012年7月21日 星期六

Leaving an Emotionally Abusive Partner - 4 Steps to Maintaining Health and Sanity


A relationship in which there is an element of psychological and emotional abuse is a very difficult one to leave.  Your abuser knows what to say and exactly how to say it to convince you that your perceptions are incorrect, the problems are your fault, he or she will change, etc etc.  The dialogue may change, but the tactic is the same:  To draw you back into the relationship and assert control over you.  If you are in the process of, or considering leaving someone who is emotionally and psychologically abusive, there are steps you can take to help yourself through this difficult process.  Here are 4 steps to maintaining your health and sanity as you leave an emotionally and psychologically abusive relationship:

1. Eat right.  The mind and body are closely connected, and the health of one impacts the health of the other.  By taking care of your body, you give yourself more emotional strength to make it through the challenging moments.  Focus on eating fresh vegetable and fruits, lean proteins, and whole grains.  Reduce your intake of processed foods and sugar, and avoid stress eating.  Take supplements, starting with a good food based multivitamin, calcium if you do not consume large amounts of calcium rich foods.  Fish oil has a number of benefits to the body, including improving brain health.

2.  Implement a doctor approved exercise program.  The ideal type of exercise for elevating your mood is cardiovascular exercise because it promotes the release of endorphins, the feel good compounds released into the body during exercise.  What you want is an activity that elevates your heart rate for a sustained period of time.  Ideally, you will work up to 45 minutes of cardio exercise 5 times per week.  However, any exercise is better than none, so make the effort to get moving, however you can manage it.

3.  Talk out the issues and trauma you have faced.  Allow for the fact that you have been through a great deal emotionally.  A professional counselor who specializes on abuse issues can be of great help in offering a trained, unbiased perspective on you and what has happened.  Friends and family are also very important to draw close to during this time for emotional support.

4.  Above all, make every effort possible to avoid contact with your abuser.  Think of this person like poison that has the potential to damage you anytime you interact.  If you must communicate due to children, etc, keep the conversations strictly on topic.  You do not need to respond to anything off the topic, so feel free to ignore messages or say, "I need to hang up now," if your abuser tried to draw you back in to a personal conversation.  This is a wonderful exercise in setting your boundaries and reclaiming your power over who and what you allow into your world. 




Are you interested in addressing your life challenges from a holistic standpoint, assessing the physical, emotional, and relationship components?

For a free copy of my ebook, "Natural Methods To Fight Depression", click here: http://www.stoptoxicrelationships.com/gifts-naturalmethodstofightdepression.html

Shannon Cook is a personal growth and relationship expert who has written a number of informative articles and ebooks on the topic of toxic relationships and holistic personal growth, including physical, emotional and relationship health.




2012年7月14日 星期六

Why Getting Out on a Bad Relationship Might Help You and Your Partner


So, you thinking you have ultimately found the ONE. Someone who has an reliable career, with established financial status, responsible, good looking, intelligent, and good-humored person has lastly come into your life.

But, just when you thought you've finally met the ideal man or woman of your dreams, all things seems to be wrong and tangled. Instantly, he has lost his job, she went poor, he became uncaring, and she became paranoid about everything. You try to help your companion in dealing with the issues but it often turns out that he or she's too great to ask help from anybody-even you.

Still, in spite of everything you still do nearly everything to help your beau without you realizing that he or she slowly drags you into the pit of depression and helplessness they're in. When you feel that you are no longer healthy, happy, and growing in the relationship, that's the time when you are trapped in bad relationship.

Being stuck and lonely

It is always hard to end any type of relationship-notably if it's a romantic relationship. But, no matter how hard to end something that you thought is valued, you should know when to end a relationship peculiarly if you are well-informed that its not doing you any good.

The signs of the times would likely tell you if you are previously being stuck in a bad relationship. Experts favour that the relationship is already bad when the couple is going through uncommon periods of disagreement and bitterness that can be evitable in various relationships. You will also know if you are beforehand in the pit of a bad relationship when it involves constant irritation and everything-even your partner-seems to be out of your reach.

The main aspect if you are in a bad relationship is the behavior of your partner. You can tell that you are being caught up in a bad relationship if your partner is beyond your reach of communication and openness, he or she doesn't want to make any bond, doesn't assert his or her feelings even if there is a kind of promise or plainly incompetent of loving someone else besides him or herself.

Studies also reveal that in any bad relationship, the couple is frequently on unlike wavelengths that there is almost no common ground and no connection or communication that result to irritation and disappointment. Since bad relationships mainly stem from continuing reciprocation of what one or both partners need, the relationship itself can even harm the self-esteem of the persons involved. Bad relationships are also harmful for persons notably those who have invested so much in their careers for their personal lives since these serve as a perfect breeding ground for rage, bitterness, self-doubt, melancholy, and distress.

Aside from emotional sorrow, remaining in a bad relationship can be unsafe to someone's health. The most common danger of bad relationship is the physical harm caused by an abusive partner. In less severe cases, being in a bad relationship can cause tensions and different chemical changes often triggered by so much stress.

Being in a bad relationship reflects so much on the person's total health and well-being because it can drain energy, thus, lowering the body's resistance to illness. The common health hazards of being in a bad relationship include severe headaches, back pains, and stomachaches caused by anger and frustration; insomnia and melancholy caused by emotional distress; and weight problems caused by irregular behavioral patterns and depression. If couples continue to be in a relationship that is no longer healthy, they will try to find a way to escape from being stuck inside by being alcoholic or drug dependent. Worse, being stuck in an unhealthy relationship can eventually lead to recurrent suicide attempts.

Breaking free

What most people inside relationships do not realize is that the more they try to work things out, things get more and more complicated. This is because both people in the relationship try so hard to pass through the stage without realizing that they are detaching themselves with their respective partners. As a result of this detachment is misunderstanding, incompatibility, and soon enough, falling out of love.




To find out more on how to create the love you want and tips on how to have a successful relationship, please go to http://www.josephmalinak.com