The Compatibility Factor in Relationships - Seven Signs That You Are Right for Each Other (Or Wrong)

Are you looking for someone who is just right for you, but not sure where or how to find him or her? Many people say opposites attract. Maybe that is true, or maybe that is just what we are told as a way of explaining the "mystery" of relationships.

Being right for each other is more about having a "fit" of your personality, habits, and things you think are important. I call this the "compatibility factor". Here are seven forms of compatibility to look for in your relationship.

1. Personality Compatibility: Do you really get along, or find that you are silently irritated with the other person's personality? Are you uptight and your date is laid back? Think about if and how you will handle difficult days. Personality is a very important factor, and the most difficult to change.

2. Communication Compatibility: Are you direct or indirect? Does one of you do all the talking? Is one of you the silent type? Look at your conversations. Decide if they flow, and if they are enjoyable for you.

3. Friends and Family Compatibility: Do you get along with one another's friends and family, or is this a source of stress for your relationship?

4. Health and Nutrition Compatibility: Are you a health food nut or a junk food junkie? Is the only exercise you get channel surfing? Look at if your health-related lifestyles match or not.

5. Financial Compatibility: Are you generous or frugal with your money? How is your partner with their finances? Money is one of the things couples fight about most often. If you share similar financial goals and means, this can be very helpful.

6. Educational Compatibility: Some studies have found (and I have found in my experience and practice) that educational and world experience compatibility are important to many couples. People tend to feel the most comfortable with others who share similar life experiences, professional opportunities, and world views.

7. Intimate Compatibility: Ideas for romance, intimacy and closeness come into play here. One example is PDA (not a hand-held computer) but Public Display Of Affection. You may love to hug and kiss in public, and your date may think it's just wrong. Having a mismatched style can lead to resentments and have a long-term effect on your love life together.

I hope that you learned about some of the compatibility factors in your own relationship. So what can you do if you are not compatible? You can

1. Accept things as they are

2. Work on yourself and the relationship

Or

3. Leave the relationship.

If you opt for change, you can only change yourself. It's unreasonable to demand that the person in your life changes unless they want to. If you are in the dating and selection process, it is much more effective to choose a compatible partner now than it is to "fix" something that is "broken" later. Don't be afraid to let go if things are not working out. Sometimes love really is just not enough. Don't worry, there are millions of singles in the world to choose from, and you can find one that is compatible with you!

I invite you to access our free e-newsletter called the Sexuality Times at http://www.healingcouch.com . You can also take the Ultimate Compatibility Quiz by clicking here http://www.healingcouch.com if you wonder if you and your partner are compatible!

Compatibility and Relationships - How Do You Know If You Are Right For Each Other?

How do you know if you have found Mr. or Ms. Right for You? That is the key- finding a person that meshes with you. Before you commit, or decide you are "all in", here are some factors to consider:

1. Personal Compatibility: Do your personalities mesh? Do you enjoy one another's company? It is very important in a long-term relationship to be able to get along with each other's personality traits, quirks, strengths and weaknesses. Having personalities that are compatible is an essential ingredient in any workable and healthy relationship.

2. Intimacy Compatibility: How do you feel about PDA (Public Displays of Affection)? How close do you enjoy being with one another? If you are similar in your intimacy style, then you have a better chance of having a healthy and happy intimate life.

3. Sexual Compatibility: Sharing a similar sexual lifestyle, from frequency to sexual interests, can be extremely important in any relationship. While it may not be easy to find someone who shares your tastes and preferences, this is your potential life mate, so it's probably worth waiting for the right one.

4. Communications Compatibility: Does your communication style match well? If conversation flows in both directions, you may be on a good path in your relationship. On the other hand, if one of you does all the talking, then it may be a red flag that may cause problems in your relationship later. Since communication is such a key to any relationship, you will want to be sure that you have enough in common and enough to talk about that can sustain your relationship in the long term.

5. Friends & Family Compatibility: Do you and your partner enjoy and support one another's friends and family? If so, then great! If there are difficulties in this area beyond the normal uncertainties of being introduced to your new extended families. If you find great difficulty with your partner's friends and family, or if they criticize or isolate you from your support system, that may be a major red flag. If you need to work out any issues that arise with each other's friends and family, the main rule of thumb here is that the person whose family it is should handle all of the conflicts that arise.

6. Health & Nutrition Compatibility: It may seem small now, but it can be very important for couples to share similar health and nutrition lifestyles. The reason is that over time, things you may overlook now may really outrage you later. For example, a health enthusiast will likely become judgmental of a junk food junkie or couch potato over time. You are better off finding someone who is more similar with your interests in lifestyles. Otherwise, what you eat becomes a constant power struggle.

7. Household Compatibility: Finding someone who shares a similar lifestyle and household vibe can be a relationship enhancer. Mr. Clean and Ms. Messy may not get along very well. Level of neatness, if compatible, can really enhance your sense of well being, especially since your home is your sanctuary.

8. Financial Compatibility: Although you don't have to earn the same amount, couples who can communicate openly and freely about finances tend to fare better over time. Another financial consideration is whether or not you share visions and goals about how you choose to spend and invest your money, particularly if you are going to share your lives and pool your funds.

9. Interest Compatibility: It is amazing to share interests together as a couple, whether it is travel, a sport, art, gourmet cooking or something else. I have found that couples who play together, stay together. Couples who have very little in common tend to drift apart over time, once the newness of the relationship has worn off. If you really love each other, but don't have interests, then develop one!

These are some areas of compatibility that you can look for in your relationship. May you find the love of your life! I hope these tips have been helpful to you in finding Mr. or Ms. Right for You!

I invite you to access our free e-newsletter called the Sexuality Times at http://www.healingcouch.com You can also take the Ultimate Compatibility Quiz by clicking here http://www.healingcouch.com if you wonder if you and your partner are compatible!

How To End a Bad Relationship The Right Way

How you end a relationship matters. In fact it matters so much that it can affect your next relationship in a positive or negative way. So when ending a relationship you need to take that into consideration!

There are two common feelings that can occur from a bad end to a relationship. They are feeling resentful and feeling guilty.

Being resentful can cause you to do a number of stupid things like seeking revenge, talking bad about exes, or even holding in the hatred and resentment that you are feeling.

When you hold those negative feelings in you can harm yourself physically by adding negative energy and stress to your body. You can literally make yourself sick.

You can also hurt yourself mentally by being bitter and angry. You may spend your days thinking negative thoughts about your ex and the opposite sex rather than focusing on positive things that you do want from the opposite sex. This is very unproductive to finding a new, positive relationship and it can affect the rest of your life as well by making you more negative in other areas like work, family relationships, and even with friends.

Feeling guilty can also has a negative impact on your physical health. Guilt is a strong emotion that takes a lot of energy to focus on. Guilty feelings pop up just before bed or at random moments when you should be focusing on the moment at hand.

Guilt gives us that miserable feeling in the pit of our stomach, and that feeling is an indication that something is not right with our bodies.

Guilt can also have a negative effect on our mental well-being. It can hold us back from pursuing other relationships in our life because it can make our self-talk turn ugly and accusing. We may feel as though we are not worthy of good things in our life because of the self-talk that comes from guilt.

I'm also sure that you have heard that we tend to repeat our mistakes until we have learned, and that saying is absolutely true. If we didn't learn from our past relationship then chances are we will repeat it again.

We may become attracted to the exact same type of person. This is where we end up saying "Why do I always end up with losers!", and we really have no idea why.

We may also become attracted to someone who makes us feel guilty or resentful just so we can try to work on those feelings that we have.

A person who harbours resentment may look for someone who makes them feel bad about themselves just like a past relationship did.
A person who harbours guilt may look for someone who doesn't stand up for themselves and is easy to abuse in some way.

Both of these scenario's almost never work out in a positive way and we end up leaving the relationship with even more resentment or guilt.

We need to end the circle and deal with that guilt or resentment at the end of the relationship. Then we can move on to learn from our mistakes and find better relationships for ourselves by knowing what we don't want.

So when you end a relationship make sure you deal with any loose feelings, questions, or answers that need to be discussed. Don't let yourself or your partner leave the relationship feeling anything but a sense of ending a relationship that didn't work.

This takes some maturity and some consideration from each person. It can be easier to pack up and move out, or stop calling someone all of a sudden, but the consideration of communicating the issues at the end is well worth the payoff for your own physical and mental health in the long run, as well as the health of your future relationships.

Bellaisa is the owner of Pleasure Her Tonight a website with relationship advice for men on dating, intimacy, and relationship issues. Learn how to get women and become a man that every woman wants.