Toxic Relationships - Dangers of Leaving 3 - Toxic People

Do you believe you are in a relationship that is toxic to your well being? Have you been trying to find a way to get out of a potentially dangerous relationship? Leaving a toxic partner can be dangerous if you are not taking the right precaution, so before you decide on an escape plan take these tips into consideration. They can potentially save your life depending on which type of toxin you are dealing with.

Types of Toxic People

1. Emotional Toxin:

This person is not physical, but he will play games to get you back after you've made it perfectly clear you are no longer interested in a relationship with him. He will keep calling you to come pick up some of your stuff, or to let him pick up their stuff from your place. These are all desperate attempts of getting you alone to try, and manipulate you into getting back with him.

When I said before that he will use any means necessary to get you back, I meant it. You will see him cry, sob, scream, and any of emotionally pathetic display he can come up with. This is only an excuse to get you alone, and manipulate you into feeling bad for leaving him, resulting in reconciliation. In this case you are going to need to get a restraining order to protect you from any harassment that will follow your breakup.

2. Physical Toxin:

When breaking up with this toxic partner, he threaten to beat you, or destroy your possessions, until you cave into staying with him. He can vandalize your home, or your car. I once heard of a time where my friend's boyfriend throw her things out of the car window while driving down the street, in hopes it would make my friend see it his way.

Any physical force will be used in this situation for him to convince you that it's a better idea for you to stay with him. Don't fall for it! Get legal help! Obtain a restraining order or whatever else is possible to get for your own safety.

3. Mentally Ill Toxin:

This toxic person will do all of what the other toxins do, and then some. He will threaten you with your life, threaten your family, your friends, or your new lover. He can do creepy and dirty things in attempts to get you to cave in to them, like taking provocative photos of you and your family in secret, then using them to blackmailing you into going out with him again. He'll also fake illnesses, or even a near death experience to connect with you emotionally. Mentally ill toxins will stalk you, show up at random times of the night, call you at home, and at work every 5 minutes.

This toxin is extremely hazardous to your health and well being. Be aware of your surroundings and the surroundings of your children and family. Get legal and lawful help immediately!

If you need to solve a relationship problem, or just want to get relationship advice and tips, be sure to sign up for the free e-newsletter at http://www.abetterwaytolove.com.

Toxic Relationships - 5 Tips For Recovery From a Toxic Relationship

Toxic relationships may be considered so for a multitude of reasons. There may be emotional or other types of abuse, addictions, or infidelity that has caused so much damage that the relationship is toxic. If you have managed to make your way out of such a situation, you have accomplished a difficult feat. It is very important that you take good care of yourself in the aftermath of the breakup. If you find that your emotional state is debilitating you and becoming overwhelming, see a doctor or mental health professional for guidance. Otherwise, here are 5 tips to help you recover from being in a toxic relationship:

1. Take a look at what you're eating. It may seem basic, but starting with taking care of your body is important, as the mind and body are connected. Try to eat fresh vegetables and fruits, proteins, and whole grains, avoiding sugars and highly processed foods whenever possible. If you are having trouble eating enough, try carrying around healthy snack foods and eat throughout the day. If you tend to eat too much for comfort, limit your eating to times when you aren't distracted, i.e. watching TV. Also, you can set a time at night past which you won't eat anymore.

2. Use supplements if needed. A good multivitamin is a good place to start, along with a calcium supplement if you don't eat a lot of calcium rich food. Fish oil is a great supplement that has many benefits, including support of a healthy brain. 5 HTP (hydroxytryptophan) is a natural antidepressant, a precursor to serotonin, a brain neurotransmitter that helps regulate mood. L-Theanine can be a helpful anti-anxiety supplement. It is a good idea to consult with your health practitioner about supplements you wish to try.

3. Start a doctor approved plan for getting exercise. Cardiovascular exercise is excellent for elevating mood, due to the feel good endorphins that are released when your heart rate is elevated over a period of time. Optimally, you will work up to 45 minutes of exercise 5 days per week. Any exercise, however, is better than none.

4. Talk things out with a professional and with the rest of your support network. A counselor who is trained and unbiased toward your situation can be a great resource for feedback and perspective. Your friends and family can help support you emotionally, as well as fill your social schedule.

5. Do small things for yourself each day. You can create a list of small things or activities that you enjoy. Pick one to do each day, and cross it off your list. Make a new one once that is completed.

Are you interested in addressing your life challenges from a holistic standpoint, assessing the physical, emotional, and relationship components?

For a free copy of my ebook, "Natural Methods To Fight Depression", click here: http://www.stoptoxicrelationships.com/gifts-naturalmethodstofightdepression.html

Shannon Cook is a personal coach and resource guide who has written a number of informative articles and ebooks on the topic of toxic relationships and holistic personal growth, including physical, emotional and relationship health.

Starting Over After a Toxic Relationships - 3 Tips For a Positive New Start

If you have had the unfortunate experience of being involved in a toxic relationship, you know that it can be difficult to leave it. Often, this is because your self esteem has been chipped away by the hurtful and destructive acts of someone who is supposed to love you and have your best interests at heart. Fortunately, you have resources at your disposal to help you restart and create a far happier life, and better future relationships. Here are 3 tips for a positive new start after leaving a toxic relationship:

1. Make yourself a priority. Attend to your physical well being. Eat healthy foods, choosing organic and unprocessed choices whenever possible. Take vitamins and supplements as needed. Many people can benefit from a food based multivitamin and a fish oil supplement. A naturopath can create a supplement plan specifically tailored to your health needs. Get regular exercise according to your doctor's guidelines. These actions not only improve your overall health, but they send the message to yourself that you are worth the time and effort.

2. Gather your support network around you and spend time with those who love, affirm, and treat you with respect and care. Friends and family can be a great emotional support, as well as filling your social calendar. Remember that your toxic partner programmed you into believing negative things about you. Spending time with positive and living people can help counteract this effect. Don't hesitate to engage support professionals as well. A counselor can be very helpful if you are sorting out overwhelming emotions and dealing with past issues. When you are ready to achieve your vision for your life and attain goals, working with a life coach is a huge benefit.

3. Avoid contact with your toxic ex partner. Especially in the beginning when you are vulnerable, don't engage with your ex. You need time to heal and gain perspective on the situation. If you must have contact due to children, etc, stick strictly to the topic at hand and disengage if your partner tries to take the conversation off course into something more personal or hurtful.

Are you interested in addressing your life challenges from a holistic standpoint, assessing the physical, emotional, and relationship components?

For a free copy of my ebook, "Natural Methods To Fight Depression", click here: http://www.stoptoxicrelationships.com/gifts-naturalmethodstofightdepression.html

Shannon Cook is a personal coach and resource guide who has written a number of informative articles and ebooks on the topic of toxic relationships and holistic personal growth, including physical, emotional and relationship health.

13 Toxic Relationships Signs - Why These Kinds of Relationships Are Bad For One's Overall Health

The majority of relationships are based on love and commitment, where couples actually want to be together and really do love one another. These are the kinds of relationships that everyone desires to have, men and women both. However, there are many other couples that are together, not because of love, but because of fear or what they believe is love. These are called toxic relationships and any couple who has a relationship like this need to be away from each other. Why are toxic relationships so bad for each person in the relationship?

Why Toxic Relationships Are Bad For People

When a relationship is considered toxic, it's a major threat to a person's overall emotional and spiritual health. It can make a person feel completely and utterly depressed and worthless. They may feel so bad about themselves that they'll stop doing the things they used to do; afraid if they do something, they will anger or upset their significant other. The worst-case scenario for a person in a toxic relationship is suicide; this means they felt they had no other alternative to get out of this kind of relationship.

Signs To Watch Out For In A Toxic Relationship

Since toxic relationships are so bad, what can you do to ensure that you stay out of one? What signs should you be looking for? Are there any signs that will tell you a relationship is toxic? While there is no easy way to identify the chances of a toxic relationship before you get into one, you do have at least 13 signs to know if you are in one currently. What are they?

- First, your significant other puts you down either in public or private.

- Second, your significant other doesn't allow you to hang out with friends or family.

- Third, your significant other is calling you non-stop to see what you are doing or who you are with; this happens even when you are working.

- Fourth, your significant other doesn't value any of your opinions even if the reasoning for them are important.

- Fifth, you have changed who you are just to please your significant other.

- Sixth, your significant other puts down for how you look or act, all in the goal to make you feel unattractive and unintelligent.

- Seventh, your significant other is overly jealous and always accuses you of cheating on him/her.

- Eighth, your significant other has a Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde personality; one minute he/she is very loving and sweet, the next minute they are overly mean and violent.

- Ninth, your significant other has total control over your life and money, leaving you entirely dependent on him/her.

- Tenth, your significant other will only go where he/she desires to go and doesn't care to go where you would like to.

- Eleventh, your significant other claims he/she loves you but doesn't act like it.

- Twelfth, your significant other always makes you feel afraid for your life.

- Thirteenth, you can't remember a time you felt happy when you were with your significant other.

Get Out Of Toxic Relationships By Seeking Help

It's important to remember that no matter how much you love a person, toxic relationships are bad for all involved. It's highly unlikely you will know about your significant other's dark side beforehand; however, once you know about them, you need to get out of the relationship right away. This is when you need to speak with someone you trust such as a family member, church member, social worker, etc.; anyone you believe can help you escape the relationship.

Do whatever you can to get out of those toxic relationships and don't ever think you can change a person after you left them because chances are they won't change. For that reason, you should never, ever, try to get your ex back. However, if you and your partner are willing to make a change, then consider trying to work it out. Just bear in mind that many times people change for a short while only to go back to the way they were before, which means you're right back in the same position you once were.

If you are currently in a toxic relationship, first realize that you do have choices and have the power to change your situation by getting out of the relationship. If you still want to get your ex back, you should know the risks of taking such an action if you are going at it alone. However if both of you are willing to make changes and are willing to put in the hard work to make it work, then you can rebuild a healthy relationship. The magic of making up [http://towinbackex.com/magic-of-making-up-review/] is a powerful ebook by TW Jackson that has helped tens of thousands of people spanning 77 countries to rebuild their relationship. Please visit [http://towinbackex.com/magic-of-making-up-review/] before you make your next move. You will learn some conventional and some very unconventional advice and techniques in the book including how to get relief from the pain and anxiety of a break-up.

How to Stay Away From A Toxic Relationship - 3 Steps For Success

Many people have the unfortunate experience of being involved in a toxic relationship. Whatever the issue that has created the damaging dynamic between the partners - abusive behavior, untreated addictions, affairs, or personality disorders - the result in often a partner who suffers a blow to self esteem and self worth through the destructive behavior of the toxic partner. If you've chosen to break free of such a toxic scenario for your own well being, this is a huge step and requires a lot of courage. However, it is important to have support and resources internally and externally to help you stay strong. Here are 3 steps for successfully following through on your decision to leave a toxic relationship:

1. Make your physical well being a priority. Your mind and body are connected, and the health of one affects the health of the other. Focus on eating healthy foods, preferably unprocessed, organic choices. Take vitamins and supplements as needed. A naturopath can construct a tailored supplement plan for you - many people can benefit from adding a fish oil and food based multivitamin supplement as a start. Exercise regularly according to your doctor's recommendation. Cardiovascular exercise is excellent for releasing endorphins, the feel good compounds that contribute to a greater sense of well being. These measures will improve your physical health and send you a message that you are worth the effort.

2. Gather and develop your support network. Spend time with loving friends and family. It is important that you hear as many positive messages about your worth as possible to help counteract the negative messages you assimilated through being in the toxic relationship. Don't hesitate to hire support professionals such as counselors and coaches to help you heal and achieve visions and goals for your future.

3. Avoid interaction with your toxic ex partner. Your ex partner is likely to continue to use whatever tactics that worked to hold you in the relationship. Give yourself some time to gain strength and perspective. If you must have contact with your toxic ex due to sharing custody with children, etc, keep your communication centered around the issue at hand. If the conversation gets off track or personal, disengage and either hang up the phone or leave.

By the way, what is holding you back from making the best choices to achieve the life you deserve?

For a free copy of my ebook, "Strategies For Escaping Emotional Abuse", click here: http://www.stoptoxicrelationships.com/gifts-strategiesforescapingemotionalabuse.html

Shannon Cook is a personal coach and resource guide who has written a number of informative articles and ebooks on the topic of toxic relationships and "difficult" divorces, including the physical, emotional, practical and relationship components.

Avoiding the Toxic Relationship - 2 Steps to Success, Part 1

Most people have the desire for a happy, fulfilling relationship where both parties are mutually respectful, loving, and caring. When both partners have emotional balance and a level of commitment and effort, this result is certainly possible. However, there are instances in which one or both individuals brings personal issues into the relationship that cause hurt and destruction within the partnership. Whether it is addiction, abusive tendencies, unfaithfulness, or other damaging behaviors, the result can be a toxic situation for the other partner. Here are the first 2 of 4 steps for avoiding such a toxic relationship, whether you are just getting out of such a relationship, or seeking to avoid the potential for one in the future:

1.       Take care of yourself physically and send yourself the message that you are worthy of the effort and care. Your mental and physical well being are also tied together, so supporting the health of your body will help support a stable mental state. Eat health foods, focusing on unprocessed organic choices wherever possible. Take vitamins and supplements as needed - a naturopath can create a complete supplement plan for you based on your unique health needs. A fish oil and food based multivitamin supplement can benefit many people to start. Start a doctor approved exercise program, ideally centered around cardiovascular exercise. This type of workout encourages the release of endorphins, feel good compounds that elevate mood.    

2.      Surround yourself with people who are supportive, loving, and affirming. This is key because the actions and words of the toxic partner can be like programming, which causes you to assimilate and believe negative messages about yourself. Immersing yourself in more positive and affirming messages from your support system will help you deprogram the false beliefs about yourself and reality.

By the way, what is holding you back from making the best choices to achieve the life you deserve?

For a free copy of my ebook, "Strategies For Escaping Emotional Abuse", click here: http://www.stoptoxicrelationships.com/gifts-strategiesforescapingemotionalabuse.html

Shannon Cook is a personal coach and resource guide who has written a number of informative articles and ebooks on the topic of toxic relationships and "difficult" divorces, including the physical, emotional, practical and relationship components.

Breaking Away From a Toxic Relationship - 3 Strategies For Success

Most people envision a successful relationship as one between two emotionally balanced individuals, that contributes to the health, happiness, and fulfillment of both parties. Unfortunately, there are relationships that have unhealthy and unbalanced dynamics present that prevent such a rewarding union. Many factors can contribute to a relationship being toxic for one or both parties - chronic infidelity, untreated addictions, and abuse of both a physical and emotional nature can be culprits - but it can be difficult for a victim to break away from a relationship with these behaviors because of the suppressed self esteem and feelings of worthlessness that often goes hand in hand with a toxic relationship. It becomes easy to believe that the abuser is right, that we are incompetent or inferior, and unlikely to be successful on our own. Here are 3 strategies for successfully breaking away from a relationship that is toxic:

1. Eat well, take vitamins and supplements, and exercise regularly. It may seem a strange place to start, but our emotional health is closely tied to our physical well being. Optimizing your physical health and supporting the structure that supports your brain function and emotional well being is important. Fresh fruits and vegetables, lean proteins, and whole grains are a good basis for most diets, and a food based multivitamin and fish oil is a helpful support. Cardiovascular exercise provides a huge benefit, as endorphins that are released help elevate mood. In addition, increased fitness and a better body image can improve self esteem.

2. Spend time around reprogrammers. These are friends and loved ones who are supportive, affirming, and help you gain a more accurate perspective on your worth and value as a person. Be aware that the toxic relationship has encouraged you to believe negative things about yourself, and that you need messages to the contrary to help overcome this effect.

3. Eliminate contact whenever possible with your toxic ex partner. Give yourself plenty of time and space to recover from your experience. If you must have contact because of children, etc., stick strictly to the business at hand. If your ex tries to steer the conversation to more personal matters and begins to draw you back again in to engaging, excuse yourself from the conversation and hang up or leave. You don't owe your ex the opportunity to criticize or put you down any further.

By the way, what is holding you back from making the best choices to achieve the life you deserve?

For a free copy of my ebook, "Strategies For Escaping Emotional Abuse", click here: http://www.stoptoxicrelationships.com/gifts-strategiesforescapingemotionalabuse.html

Shannon Cook is a personal coach and resource guide who has written a number of informative articles and ebooks on the topic of toxic relationships and "difficult" divorces, including the physical, emotional, practical and relationship components.

Boosting Your Self Esteem Coming Out of a Toxic Relationship - 2 Tips For Success, Part 1

Healthy relationships can be mutually supportive, loving, and help people achieve more of their personal dreams than they might alone. Both individuals can be successful and happy without a partner, but find the relationship an enhancement. Unfortunately, too often the opposite effect occurs in a relationship - one or both partners are restricted, traumatized, and made to feel worthless. A toxic relationship damages self esteem and causes self doubt, and there is some repair work that needs to be done once out of it to assure greater self-realization as well as healthier choices in companionship in the future.   Here are the first 2 out of 4 tips for building self esteem coming out of a toxic relationship:

1.       Attend to your physical health. There are two reasons for this. First off, it is important to support health physically because the mind and body are linked, and making the body as healthy as possible helps to balance the chemistry of our emotions as well. The other reason is that by taking care of yourself, you send your mind the message that you are important, worthy of care and concern. So eat right, reduce the intake of processed foods and sugars, and opt instead for lean proteins, fresh fruits and vegetables, and whole grains. Take vitamins and supplements as needed - your natural health practitioner can give you specifics to optimize your health. Fish oil and a good food based multivitamin are a good start. Exercise regularly in a doctor approved plan, focusing ideally on cardio workouts for maximum mood elevation.

2.      Spend time with positive, uplifting people who support and love you and desire your success. A toxic partner often spends a lot of time trying to control you through various tactics, including putting you down, so you need to do some reprogramming of these false messages. You may want to work with a counselor to work through past issues that have led you to this point, and/or you may want to hire a coach to help you set achievable goals and work toward healthier choices moving forward.

By the way, what is holding you back from making the best choices to achieve the life you deserve?

For a free copy of my ebook, "Strategies For Escaping Emotional Abuse", click here: http://www.stoptoxicrelationships.com/gifts-strategiesforescapingemotionalabuse.html

Shannon Cook is a personal coach and resource guide who has written a number of informative articles and ebooks on the topic of toxic relationships and "difficult" divorces, including the physical, emotional, practical and relationship components.

Escape Your Toxic Relationship - 3 Keys to Success

Most people enter a relationship eager to find someone with whom they can have a mutually fulfilling loving, and supportive relationship. When both partners are emotionally healthy and committed to one another, this result is a distinct possibility. However, there are some instances where one or both partners bring a degree of dysfunction or personal issues into the relationship that prove destructive to the other partner and the relationship as a whole. Whether it is abuse, untreated addiction, or infidelities that make the relationship toxic, the traumatized partner is often left feeling unworthy and questioning his or her abilities to go it alone. If you have made the decision that you want to leave a toxic relationship, it is important to give yourself all the resources you can to help you follow through. Here are 3 keys to escaping your toxic relationship successfully:

1.       Take good care of yourself physically. Your mind needs all the support it can get, and the health of the body is linked to that of the brain. Eat healthy, organic food choices whenever possible.   Take vitamins and supplements as needed - many people can benefit with starting with a food based multivitamin and fish oil. A naturopath can give you a supplement plan tailored to your specific health needs. Get regular exercise as advised by your doctor. Doing all of these things not only increases your health and endurance, it also sends the message to your mind that you are worthy of effort.

2.      Gather your social support around you. This can include friends and family as well as helping professionals such as coaches or counselors. You need to be able to fill your social calendar to avoid isolation. You also need to counterprogram the negative messages that your toxic partner's words and behaviors out in your mind. Hearing words of support and affirmation will help you do this. If you need to work through overwhelming emotions or do healing work, a counselor is an excellent resource. If you are ready to start moving forward from today and achieve goals, a coach will be of enormous benefit in getting you into your new and happier life much faster.

3.      Don't talk to your ex partner. Especially in the beginning when you are most vulnerable, do not interact with your toxic ex if at all possible. He or she will likely continue to use tactics to get to you as he or she did in the past. You need time to gain distance and perspective to avoid being pulled in again. If you must interact due to children, etc, stick closely to business and disengage if your ex tries to steer the conversation into the personal.

Are you interested in addressing your life challenges from a holistic standpoint, assessing the physical, emotional, and relationship components?

For a free copy of my ebook, "Natural Methods To Fight Depression", click here: http://www.stoptoxicrelationships.com/gifts-naturalmethodstofightdepression.html

Shannon Cook is a personal coach and resource guide who has written a number of informative articles and ebooks on the topic of toxic relationships and holistic personal growth, including physical, emotional and relationship health.

Love Test - Do You Know the Best Way to Heal a Toxic Relationship?

Do you feel the stress of negativity when you're in the presence of your romantic partner? Has this negative energy harmed the romance and affection in your relationship? Have you stopped sending thoughts of love and showing acts of kindness toward your partner? Do you sense your life would be happier and healthier without your partner?

If you answered Yes to one or more of the questions in this Love Test, it's a symptom of a toxic relationship.

How do you heal it?

The same way you heal your body from an injury or disease. Given the right nutrients and support, your body is designed to repair, rebuild and revive optimal health.

Your relationships also need optimal support to repair the damage caused by toxic thoughts and actions, to rebuild a healthy connection with your intimate partner and to revive the love and positive interactions.

What kind of support do you need for relationship repair?

Avoid negativity, which is the energetic pattern of stress and disease in your body and your relationships.

Nurture feelings of love and gratitude, which are the energetic patterns that support the best health of your body and relationships.

Positive thought energy is a higher vibration than negativity, and the highest vibration always wins. This is why positive feelings, thoughts and actions are the antidote to negativity.

Why do you need this antidote?

If you remain stuck in anger, fear, jealousy or any form of negativity, you remain stuck in a toxic pattern of stress and dysfunction.

It is wise to get unstuck before this negativity triggers a downward spiral in your physical and relationship health.

How do you get unstuck?

Here is the best way to heal a toxic relationship with your partner--

Heal your relationship with yourself first.

You choose your thoughts and actions. So it is up to you to make better choices that will transform the destructive stress of negativity into positive thoughts and actions.

How do you make happier, healthier choices?

Replace your dark old habit with bright new one. This takes a conscious, consistent use of one new tool to improve your relationship with yourself:

Give yourself a time out for negative thoughts and actions, as you develop a new habit of self discipline.

Your thoughts and actions create energetic waves, much like tossing a stone into a stream and causing ripples far beyond it's landing place.

What kind of energetic waves are you creating with each thought and action?

Notice when you send out an energetic punch or poison arrow to your partner. Then take a moment to replace this negativity with a positive thought or action. When you repeat this new pattern every day for a month, it becomes a new habit. So be conscious of and consistent in sending out your best to improve your relationship.

Pay attention to your silent self talk. If you talk to yourself in hurtful or demeaning ways, take a time out for reflection. Would you say those things to your best friend? If not, it's time to stop your negative self talk so you can be your own best friend.

What if you're partner sends you negative energy in the form of nasty emails, phone calls, derogatory words, glances or actions?

No need to engage. You only escalate negativity by sending it back.

A better choice is to apply the antidote. Find a way to turn the negativity into something positive. Send back a kind thought or action, which is a higher frequency than the negative attack. And the highest vibration wins.

Once you use these tools to heal your relationship with yourself, you radiate the power to transform your intimate relationship.

Are you single and seeking your best love match? Are you searching for new ways to live your dreams now? You will meet like-minded singles as you enjoy a free months trial membership in the Singles Club in Tribe Of Blondes.

Not a hair color, it's a resilient optimism that unites us and fuels our adventures in loving and living your dreams now.

This new singles site was created by author, Hadley Finch who writes about love and relationships in her articles, podcasts and novel, TRIBE OF BLONDES.

Hadley used the top dating sites to meet extraordinary men in 3 continents and 200 blind dates after her long marriage ended in divorce. She quickly realized how to upgrade the online dating experience and form a community of savvy singles in the Tribe Of Singles.

No more blind dates, since you'll meet in video chats and singles travel for every budget.
You don't post your age, only a recent photo, so you can find love at any age.

And you can meet new single friends and travel companions, start new business ventures, and gain new insights and action plans for greater health, wealth, happiness and love when you belong to the tribe of singles.

Ready to claim your singles free months membership?
Sign up now at http://tribeofsingles.com Enjoy!

Is Your Relationship Affecting Your Health? How Toxic is Your Relationship?

Everyone has been in a relationship that for one reason or another ended badly. There are relationships that end due to poor timing, differences in fundamental core values, and basic incompatibility. Toxic relationships are deemed as such because they have a very negative affect on one's emotional and physical health. Several recent studies have concluded that over time the effects of hostility and excessive conflict can contribute to a sharp increase in health problems, including heart attacks (American Journal of Psychosomatic Medicine, 2007). If you are in relationship with a high level of conflict, you may be at increased risk for stress related health problems.

Are you in a Toxic Relationship?

1. Your partner belittles your accomplishments or is overtly critical of your thoughts, actions, mannerisms, style of dress and even your family members. Your partner may be chronically angry or moody. This is a way to gain power and control by putting you down. Don't rationalize this very toxic behavior.

2. Your partner suffers from excessive perfectionism. You find that you are always striving for perfection that falls short of his/her expectations. This can become a power-struggle that can be about anything from making the bed to your sex life. If you frequently worry about whether or not you are good enough for your partner, stress of this type can be very toxic to your overall sense of well-being. Do you really want to spend your life worrying about how well you measure up to someone whom you can never seem to please?

3. Your partner abuses drugs or alcohol. This is a major deal breaker. You won't ever get away from this problem unless your partner has a real commitment to their recovery with a MINIMUM of 1 year clean and sober time. If you are in a relationship with someone who refuses to get help for their problem, you need to seriously consider leaving the situation. Without professional help, you will live a life of chaos and drama that will always center on your partner's drug/alcohol problem. You will lose your sanity and your sense of self to this person's problem.

4. Your partner is a bully...either verbally or physically. Don't walk...run! Your partner needs help, and most likely, you do too. If you are in a relationship with someone who is hurting you either psychologically, or physically, seek professional help immediately.

5. Your partner is addicted to internet pornography. This is a way for someone to opt out of interpersonal relationships altogether. You will be living with a phantom who may appear to function normally, but is completely checked out. Living alone may be preferable to living with someone who does not have the capacity to be fully engaged with you.

6. Conflicts and misunderstandings never have a resolution. You could argue for hours over nothing. A partner who is interested in maintaining a high level of control over your life wants to keep you off balance. A high degree of conflict, with little or no possibility of resolution, is a way to achieve this goal.

7. Your partner is secretive and frequently disappears. If you have someone in your life who checks out from time to time without an explanation, you need to ask yourself what is really going on with this. Usually people who keep secrets have very good reasons for doing so. Do you really want to be around to find out what it is? It's almost guaranteed to make you unhappy when you find out the reason.

8. Your partner is unreliable and frequently breaks promises no matter how small. You can't plan a life with someone who will not be accountable...plain and simple.

9. Your partner has a lot of unfinished business with an ex-wife or children. This is a tough one. You may think you have met your soul mate if only the timing were right. There is a difference between unfinished business and dealing with the fallout from a divorce or separation. If he/she has children, what is the quality of those relationships and how important are they? If your partner is not paying child-support, visiting his/her children, or not making them a top priority, this is a serious character flaw that will not be made better by time.

10. Your partner lies to get what he/she wants. A liar is not likely to change. Overt manipulation, or a lie by omission, is a major indicator of poor character and a self-serving and exploitative approach to interpersonal relationships. You will spend all of your time trying to be a private detective to uncover the truth. Don't bother.

If you are struggling in a dead-end relationship that is harmful to your physical or mental well-being, seek professional help and guidance. A good relationship will enhance the quality of your life rather than diminish it. No relationship is worth putting your spiritual, physical, and emotional health at risk.

Leslie Miller, LICSW

Toxic Relationships - How They Affect Wellness and Well-Being

The goal of this brief article is to reveal the derogatory affect of toxic relationships on one's overall health, and to offer tips for dealing with them.

Recently I was talking with my doctor, and he spoke about the impact of toxic relationships on health and well-being. He told me he sees, on a daily basis, the adverse role bad relationships play in cancer, heart disease and other serious illnesses.

In particular, people who are fighting cancer must be very mindful of their relationships, he said, and take immediate steps to improve any stressful ones or those with derogatory effects.

Also, he went on to say anyone who is fighting a major illness should surround himself with good, high-quality relationships that will lift him up, and not tear him down.

Their healing may depend on it!

Many cancer patients are finding that an integrative approach to healing is the most promising. This approach involves making lifestyle changes, including exercise and diet, and considers the role played by living conditions and relationships.

Sometimes people stay in bad relationships and endure their abuses, without stopping to consider the seriousness of their impact upon their health and happiness. It's easy to overlook the impact of toxic relationships on our lives (and the lives of those whom we love). And the long-term consequences are often devastating, such as the development of emotional problems.

In reality, harmful relationships cause us to worry and lose sleep. They produce anxiety and stress. They can cause an increase in blood pressure and play a role in the development of disease!

They undermine our self-confidence and wear us down, emotionally and physically, imposing a heavy tax on the immune system. Bad relationships are socially problematic and may have an adverse affect one's career and personal life.

In short, they lower our quality of life.

What You Can Do

1. Be honest with yourself about the affect any given relationship is having on you. Don't sugar-coat the truth.

2. Get the help you need in dealing with the relationship. Take appropriate action if your relationship(s) is hurting you. Not dealing with it may seem easier but is really harder in the long run.

3. Take immediate steps to improve your relationships if you are suffering from a chronic disease, your immune system has been compromised or you are in poor health.

If you want to feel better and be happier, start by examining your relationships. If you find that a bad relationship is burdening you, take action to correct the situation. You'll be feeling better in no time.

Richard Hamon is a dynamic coach and therapist with 30 years of professional experience. Richard helps people to solve their relationship problems, enjoy truly extraordinary marriages and find exceptional success in all areas of their lives.

You'll find all kinds of articles on how to spice up your relationships and lead a happier life at Richard's website, Happy-Relationships.com. Find out about personal coaching programs to assist you in quickly reaching your loftiest goals. Discover eBooks, relaxation CDs and other informative products, such as a free relationship quiz to help you assess your relationship.

For more information on conducting state-of-the-art relationships, the latest research on true happiness, and Richard's products and services, please go to: http://happy-relationships.com